The desire of the man is for the woman, but the desire of the woman is for the desire of the man.
Germaine De Stael
This story was previously known as wilting rosebuds, but there were major changes. So I just decided to start fresh.
Setting: After eclipse.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of these Character's. Stephenie Meyer does.
Bella's POV
I couldn't help it, I was so nervous my palms were sweating. The day I had looked forward to was finally here. Well I suppose it was more the after events that I was looking forward to. Renee whispered something softly from the other side of the door knocking me back into reality.
She had put up a fight when I announced me and Edward's engagement. She begged me to finish my future, and not throw it away on some boy; but what she didn't get was that Edward wasn't just some boy. He was my soul mate, the guy I was in love and would always be in love with for all eternity.
At this moment in time the fact that I was getting older than him with each passing second didn't matter. I was almost twenty, and Edward would stay seventeen forever. I sucked in a deep breath of air trying to shake away my thoughts.
"Please mom. Just go I'll be fine. It's just my nerves." I said leaning over the toilet. I was only halfway ready and my wedding would begin in two hours. I wondered slightly if Edward felt quite as nervous as me. Probably not.
"Alright Bella darling. Good luck." my mother whispered before her footsteps disappeared out of the room. I stood up leaning over the sink now. I examined myself in the mirror closely. I was sure this would be the last night that I would be human.
Though Charlie, Renee and Phil were sort of clueless about that. I wondered if I would miss my brown eyes. I shook my head; the only thing that mattered was that I was with Edward.
I swung open the bathroom door, walking to where my dress hung. I traced my fingers around the intricate design. I hadn't even wanted to think how much it had cost the Cullen s. I sighed lightly before removing it from the hanger.
'Alice, must you always overdo it?' I thought solemnly as I slipped into the dress. It felt as if it were made for me. Was it wrong that half of me was hoping that I'd hate it, and the other half was hoping that I'd love it?
I stared at myself in the full body mirror. The reflection was almost foreign to me. My hair was cascading in spiral curls all along my shoulders. Alice had her way like always and hired a make-up artist and a hairstylist for my big day. I couldn't help but worry about the money once more. I hoped this hadn't put a dent in the Cullen's pocket.
Expensive earrings dangled from my earlobes, I reached up rubbing them with my index and thumb fingers.
'This is all for Edward.' I thought, slipping the new blue bracelet on my wrist. That covered something blue and something new.
The earrings were borrowed, because I refused to keep something so expensive. I pinned some of the curls back with Renee's old pearl beaded bobby pins. It was all done. Something blue, something new, something borrowed, and something old. I think that's the way the sentence went anyway. I wasn't quite sure.
I stared up at the red clock that was maybe the only color in the tiny white room. My heart raced as I realized I was almost late for my own wedding. I debated with myself whether I should go barefoot, or put on the shoes that Alice had bought. I went with the shoes knowing how bummed she'd be if I didn't. I couldn't possibly take her scolding.
I cracked open the door spotting Angela. She along with Rosalie, and Alice had been my bridesmaids. Despite how cold Rosalie could be to me, I loved her as if she was my own sister. I suppose soon enough she along with Alice would be my sisters. The corners of my mouth tugged into a pleasant smile.
The feelings of happiness soon washed away as the nausea hit again. My stomach was doing flips inside of me.
"Angela..." I weakly called waving her down. She glided over in the pretty peach dress that Alice had chosen for them.
"Tell everyone to get ready, because I'm ready." I whispered quickly.
Angela nodded, as I closed the door to the little room. My heart was racing, and in an hour I would be Mrs. Edward Cullen.
The Music began to play, as Charlie softly knocked on the door. I adjusted the dress before opening the door. Charlie was smiling with a small hint of tears in his eyes. "Bella it is time." he choked out.
I nodded and said nothing afraid that I would burst into tears at any moment. I reached out entwining my arm with Charlie's. I felt the whole weight of the wedding crash upon my shoulders. Reality sure did hurt sometimes. I matched Charlie's slow pace, both of us managing to fall in step to the music.
I peeked out down the path spotting Edward as he awaited me at the end of the aisle. The veil seemed suffocating and the distance too. It was the only things that separated me from the man who held my heart. I sucked in a sharp breath of air struggling to remember to breathe as Charlie glanced down at me.
Esme dabbed the corners of her eyes with a cloth. I smiled contently at her, and her famous acting. I suppose she wanted to make my mother feel less horrible about crying. Carlisle had his arm wrapped securely around Esme, and simply beamed at me. Phil was patting my mothers back, in attempt to calm the woman who was a mess of tears. I smiled at them. My two families were joining as one.
The wedding seemed to become a blur as I felt the tears pool behind my eyes. They soon trailed down my cheeks, as I tried my hardest to choke back my sobs. I couldn't quite contain my emotions anymore. I squeezed Edward's hands within my own, trying to get a grip on reality.
"You may kiss the bride."
Those were the words I had been waiting for. Everyone behind us stood up as Edward leaned lifting up the veil. He smiled at me, and leaned in much closer trapping me with one of those familiar head fogging kisses. He was gentle enough, and pulled away before I forgot too much.
We turned to face everyone. Mascara was running down Renee's face, the front of Phil's tuxedo looked as if someone had splattered oil all over it. Charlie ducked his head not wanting me to see him cry. I smiled glancing over at the Cullen's.
Esme and Carlisle held onto each other. They both smiled up at his, obviously approving of the ceremony today. I glanced around to look at the rest of my guests. I had no idea I knew this many people. I shifted my weight from one foot to the other growing positively impatient as I watched my bridesmaids and Edward's groomsmen exit one by one before we followed them.
"After you Mrs. Cullen." Edward whispered to me. I could tell her loved the sound of his last name replacing mine.
I waited anxiously for Edward to return, my heart thudded loudly in the silent hotel room. I glanced down at my left hand, the ring fit securely around my slender finger. The wedding had turned out better than I could have imagined. It was of course over the top but I couldn't expect any less from Alice. I had gotten my hopes up figuring it would be almost normal, until doves started flying out of my wedding cake.
I smiled remembering the guests faces. My mother couldn't stop crying even though she promised she'd put on a brave face just for me. Charlie had teared up, and Esme and Carlisle looked completely content. Jacob and Seth had showed up too. I ended up dancing with both of them, even if the whole situation did make Jacob uncomfortable. He was still my best friend, and I suppose would try to support me no matter what.
Edward's face flashed back into my mind and I smiled immediately. Tonight would be the firsts for two things. Edward would change me into a Vampire, and then finally make love to me. I sighed in contentment falling back onto the bed. The night was becoming much more than I had expected and it hadn't even begun yet.
I stood up abruptly growing more impatient as the seconds ticked by. It was the start of forever as far as I was concerned, and Edward was late. I grumbled to myself, as I fixed my eyes on my reflection. I traced under my eyes which would soon be tinted purple. My deep brown eyes would be a pure reflection of Edward's topaz ones soon; well after my human blood faded away. And my heart it would be still soon too. I reached up to place my palm across my chest, feeling my heartbeat through my chest.
My head fluttered at the thought of it all. It was almost ironic, being happy at the thought of what would technically be my death. My fingers trailed down to trace my collarbone then dipped lower. They were soon met with the top of the tight strapless wedding dress. It was perfect in every sense of the word.
Everyone had insisted the dress looked stunning on me. It clung to my abdomen swaying with the rhythm of my body. The rest of the dress flowed out, almost consuming everything it touched. I had slipped out of the heels, and taken off the jewelry, but I still thought I looked pretty. The curls danced along my shoulders as I shook my head. I tried to focus on relaxing, but I couldn't shake my anxious feeling.
A faint blush crept upon my cheeks as the door to the room creaked open. Everything still felt so foreign to me but I hoped that would change soon enough. I turned to face Edward as he closed to space between us in small strides. His arms wrapped around me pressing me to his cold body. He smelled like tree sap and pine to be quite honest.
His head dipped low kissing the crook of my neck. I wrapped my arms around his neck pulling my body closer to his. At this moment it was just me and him, and that was all that would ever matter. He pulled away a soft smiled placed upon his lips. I couldn't help but smile back at him. He reached out scooping me into his arms. I rested my head against his marble chest melting into his touch.
My body was soon met with the soft fabric of the blankets. They were snow white and quite welcoming. Edward's lips found my own with a sudden urgency. I leaned up pressing my body to his, trying to keep us together in every sense of the word. His legs were pinned on either side of me careful not to crush me beneath his weight. His lips trailed down my cheek then to my jaw line. He stopped letting his tongue carefully flicker over my soft skin causing me to shiver at the contact.
He rolled over entwining my fingers within his own. "You should probably take the dress off Bella. Alice would kill us if anything happened to It." he said with a light smirk.
I struggled to get my breathing back to normal only giving him a simple nod as a reply. I squeezed his hand, and leaned closer to him. We had agreed that he would turn me before we dared to do anything else. I rolled over on my stomach tucking my head on top of the pillow.
Edward's arm wrapped around my body pulling me close to his. His fingers trailed over my exposed shoulders before trailing further down to tug at the strings that confined me in the dress. I immediately felt it loosen, exhaling a harsh breath. He tugged the dress down, sitting up and helping me out of it.
I blushed fiercely, before rolling back over and wiggling the dress down over my legs. Thank goodness for Alice and her pointers. I wore lacy light blue undergarments, just for Edward. He pushed the dress off to the floor before returning to lie next to me. I instinctively curled my body around his, resting my head on his broad chest. He had managed to slip out of the top part of his tux, with only black pants clinging to his defined legs.
He rested his head on top of my chin. "Are you sure you want to go through with this?" he whispered out.
My brows furrowed together. "Edward. I've never been more sure about anything in my entire life." I said maintaining my strong voice. "I just hope you're not trying to back out now." I added quickly.
He simply chuckled at me, spinning me so that I was face to face with him. "Isabella Marie Cullen." he said simply brushing his lips across the bridge of my nose. "I can never deny you anything. You're all mine now, and I want to continue that for eternity."
I grinned at him, and I was sure I probably looked like an idiot but I didn't care. I would finally get eternity fulfilled, and I loved it. I crawled up almost seductively kissing Edward's chest. His cold fingertips traced my hip bones. I could stay like this forever with him as I processed our surrounding.
My lips led up to his hard jaw line nipping at his hard flesh. I wanted to try to make him understand the way he made me feel. I leaned up placing a small kiss onto his forehead, both his cheeks, the tip of his nose, and finally his lips. I pressed my body harder against his, flicking my tongue over his lower lip.
He parted his mouth slightly, letting out tongues touch briefly before pulling away. I sighed leaning down to rest my forehead on his. His hands stroked my back before lifting me up to sit next to him. He leaned over resting his ear directly over my heart. I suppose it was to cherish the last moments of my beating heart.
Edward pulled away letting our eyes meet. "Are you ready for this Bella?" he asked almost breathlessly.
I nodded not sure what else I could do. This was what I had been waiting for since the day I met him.
"Lay down." he commanded. I leaned back, trying to keep my body and heartbeat under control. He leaned forward gripping my wrist before lifting it up to his lips. He breathed out, brushing his tender but firm lips against my wrist. I instinctively closed my eyes, waiting for it all to start happening.
"I'm sorry." he whispered out as his teeth sunk into my wrist. I felt the extreme pain crawl through my body. My lids fluttered open, struggling to keep my vision in check. Edward's eyes were closed, and his lips were still at my palm. The darkness tugged at the corners of my vision but I still managed to cling to the light.
I parted my lips giving out a light gasp, considering I couldn't manage to form a sentence. Edward pulled away, regret immediately covering his face. His arms wrapped around my body, pulling me up and crushing me against his chest. His cold but soothing fingertips brushed against my forehead.
My body burned, and I let out a cry, attempting to grip onto his arms. My limbs just hung at my sides weakly. I felt pathetic; I couldn't even manage to cling to any hope anymore. Edward rocked us back and forth lowering his face to brush his nose against my own.
"I'm sorry." he breathed out once more. I felt my lids grow heavy, and no longer could I cling onto reality. My body shook violently in his arms, and I couldn't tell if it was me or him that was shaking. I felt the darkness engulf every ounce of my body. There was no light and no Edward in this dreadful dream.
I felt myself let out a strong scream, my fists clenching at my sides. Sweats dripped down the bridge of my nose. My body felt like I had been placed upon an open flame, only to be left for dead.
"Hang on Bella..." Edward whispered, his voice seemed to be fading now.
I couldn't open my eyes anymore, but I could feel my heart race rapidly within my chest. My stomach did flips, and made me positively sick. I felt like I was going to explode at any moment. My head throbbed and I just wanted to feel Edwards s hands touch my soft skin. I attempted to adjust to the darkness, but it felt horrible.
My memories were already fading into the dark. Edward's face even seemed fuzzy, along with Charlie's and even Renee's. I felt the urge to reach out to literally grab reality but I couldn't gather up enough strength.
"I love you Bella." I made out vaguely. Whose voice exactly was it that was calling to me?
The stillness settled around me, and I seemed to float. My body tingled and the hollow burning sensation engulfed my throat now. I felt as if my airway was collapsing, and that I wouldn't make it any longer. I heard a blood curdling scream in the distance. Did that noise come from me?
I felt soft hands rub harsh yet soothing circles along my abdomen, then my back. Who was touching me? Reality felt further away with every moment. I floated there, and listened intently. I gasped out in the darkness realizing my heart had stilled. I reached up gripping my throat with one hand and my side with the other. I cried out into this faux reality, trying to save any ounce of humanity I could.
"Shhhh." I heard someone whisper. They didn't seem so far away now. The hot breath tingled against the hollow of my throat. "It'll be alright."
The words faded into the darkness once more. My body shook rapidly again, put I felt as if I was pinned down by weight. I tried to shake the feeling, but I was hopeless. I slammed my eyes shut once more welcoming the calm of the dark. My unrealistic reality was soon broke as earth shattering screams ripped through it. I needed Edward now. I needed him to join me in the darkness. Most of all I needed him to protect me from what I was becoming.
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