Title: Who Wants To Live Forever
Author:AlexCabotIsQueen
Summary: "Out of all the pain I've given her, this is the least I could do."
A/N: This is my first Charmed fanfic. Set sometime during the time Cole is the Source, before they vanquish him. And the lyrics (in italics) all belong to Queen, "Who Wants to Live Forever."
Cole POV
There's no time for us.
There's no place for us.
What is this thing that builds our dreams and slips away from us?
Who wants to live forever?
Soon. She'll know soon. That the love of her life is the source of all evil.
I know the Source just assumed this would be easy. But he forgets. Love trumps all. It's the great equalizer. And love is the one thing that not even he, or I, have power over.
But tonight. I have something to attend to. I just wish I didn't have to lure her. My own wife for Christ's sake.
...Hmmm, I just wonder about Piper...Still can't believe she ate that chocolate...
No matter. Phoebe is what I need.
But that doesn't surprise me. I've needed her even before I knew her. She makes me feel alive for the first time in over a hundred years. This human heart aches when she isn't here and races when she appears across a crowded room.
Conceiving a child shouldn't happened like this is. The Cole Turner in me wants to scream from the hills to her and warn her what will happened. If not for her sake, for our yet to be conceived child. At least if she knew, no matter what happeneds to us. To me. She would always have that.
There's no chance for us.
It's all decided for us.
This world has only one sweet moment set aside for us.
Who wants to live forever?
She called to tell me that she was on her way home. Probably fresh from a vanquish. Just as I am sure of that, I'm sure someone is getting onto me. Somewhere.
But that's not what I need to think about. Tonight, I want to be just a man. A man making love to his wife. And a man trying to create life.
I know it means more than that to that part of me that is the Source. And more to the Seer. But I can't let what must happened take this moment from me.
From us.
Tonight. I'm going to be the human that is in love with Phoebe.
I hear the elevator door slide open. And her smile. It stops my breath.
"Welcome home, Mrs. Turner."
"At least it's Mrs. Turner on paper. To all demons and the rest of the world. It's still Halliwell."
"I take it just, uh, another day at the office?"
"You know. Demons trying to kill us. We vanquish and save the world yet again. With no thanks from anyone."
"Then, thank you."
"Cole, you don't have to thank..."
"Not for saving the world. For walking into the room so I can breathe again."
My hollow soul fills up when she kisses me. She brings to life parts of me that I was sure died a century ago. But somehow, she has the power. Only her.
No one else could make me do anything for them. But she can.
"Phoebe. I have to tell you something."
"Anything."
"You have bewitched me, Phoebe. And it wasn't any amount of Charmed One magic, or your magic alone. It was your beauty, your grace, and your soul that did it. And I never thought it was possible to love like this. So deeply that it transcends good and evil. You make me feel whole and if this truly is a spell, I don't want to come out of it. Please, Phoebe. Promise me that you will always charm me. No matter what."
"How do I know that you don't have me under a spell yourself?"
Who dares to love forever when love must die?
"You know I could never..."
"Hurt me? Of course. You know Cole. There are times when I sit back and think about us. All the things between us. Finding out you were a demon. I lied to my sisters and Leo for you. And for a while when I thought you had turned your back on me, on good, I wished that I had the courage to vanquish you when I had the chance.
Then, I saw the truth in your eyes. And I knew, I knew I had to save you. Stripping you of your powers..."
"Was the greatest gift you could have ever given me."
"And even though it's been a roller coaster...I wouldn't trade it for the world. I can't. We were meant to be Cole. You and I. No matter what."
"But what if I never was half-demon. I would have never lived to meet you Phoebe. We would have never had this."
"No. I've known you forever. I'm sure one of my past lives was in love with you. Sweetheart, I knew how I felt about you from the moment we met. It was just a matter of time."
"Speaking of time...And pasts and futures...What do you say you and I get started on a little future of our own?"
"And what happeneds if we don't get it right the first time?"
"Well, just have to keep trying. Besides, I like the practice."
Her laughter went I carry her off to our bed. It's worth all this. I just try and freeze every moment of happiness. Passion. Ecstasy. All in my head. For the days that are to come.
Touch my tears with your lips.
Touch my world with your fingertips.
And we can have forever.
Watching her sleep. Of course, I believe that every woman is the most beautiful before she wakes. Before the makeup. Before they go out into the world and have to pretend.
Only here with me can she truly be Phoebe. Her calling out my name in her moment of release is her truth. I am her truth. The one thing on this earth she values most.
And that is what makes what must be done more difficult.
But I know what will help.
Out ofall the pain I'vegiven her, this is the least I can do.
Forever is our today
I get out of bed and write her a letter.
I know once her sisters and she figure out what is happening. They will vanquish me. They have the power. She will resist. But she knows her destiny. She will do what she has to.
But I have to tell her. Let her know that the man she is in love with exists behind the surface of this. Of the evil. That I really do love her. And what power love really for us.
"Phoebe,
If you are reading this, then you know and I'm dead. But I know it was at your hand.
No one else in heaven OR hell had power over me.
Please. Don't cry.
I was dead before I met you. I was born the day you loved me.
And my love for you will keep me alive.
Forever.
Always,
Cole"
Who wants to live forever?
As I crawl back into bed, she slides her arm over my chest and rests her head on my shoulder. I can feel her breath wash over me like a breeze. I can't even fight the tears the slide down my face.
People wait their whole lives without ever feeling this was about another person. And here I am, given an unatural long life, only to find this love as a source of evil. I will never get to enjoy it.
We'll never have the life that she deserves and that I'm supposed to give her.
Even if I could have another hundred years. I would never anything so precious. Only to squander it all. Just for some stupid cosmic pissing contest.
Now, my only other worry is...how am I going to cheat death?
Who waits forever anyways?
It won't matter. As long as I can have her love me. Again.