The Slytherin Wives Club
A/N : Mentioning… Draco/Cho, Blaise/Hermione, Theodore/Luna, Adrian Pucey/Ginny, Ron/Daphne, Harry/Pansy.
Ginny huffed and plopped herself into a chair as the small group of women entered the Diagon Alley café.
"If I've told him once, I've told him a thousand bloody times - pickled shrunken heads are just not suitable to have around the house! They give the kids all the wrong messages!" the redhead fumed.
"I know how you feel," sighed Cho. "When we bought our house Draco really wanted to help decorate."
"That's so sweet," smiled Luna.
"Try having a husband who's idea of interior design is bloodstains on the walls. He was so dead set on it we actually had to get one! I mean, it's in the living room and I put the sofa in front of it, but sometimes when he's had a hard day I catch him in there with the sofa pulled back, just quietly smiling at it." The older Ravenclaw shuddered. "And he keeps playing this weird music… it's just all this banging and screaming. I think they're called Slow and Painful -"
"Oh my Merlin, yes, Blaise likes them too!" Hermione practically screamed. "It's the creepiest thing in the world! I read that -"
"There's a surprise," Ginny grinned. The bushy haired girl mock-glared at Mrs Pucey and continued,
"I read that babies absorb what they hear while they're in the womb, so I've been playing some Mozart and nice things like that and suddenly this sound booms through the whole manor, like somebody's dying! Poor baby will probably be severely disturbed before it's even been born, let alone seen the shrunken heads."
A young girl came to take the women's orders.
"Nothing for me, thanks," Hermione shook her head politely.
"'Mione!" Ginny scolded. "You must keep your strength up - you're eating for two now." The woman waggled her finger at her friend's protruding stomach to emphasise her point.
"Is it morning sickness?" Luna asked sympathetically.
"Actually, more like mother-in-law sickness - Ms Zabini is going to be gracing us with her presence this weekend." The brunette sounded like she was announcing her forced recruitment into the Holyhead Harpies.
"Ah. Does she still..?" Cho trailed off, unable to phrase her question tactfully.
"Call me fat? Announce loudly over dinner that my chest could do with enlarging? Enjoy voicing her opinion that, seeing as I'm a muggleborn the 'least I could do' is try to be pretty? Yes, she does. On second thoughts, I want a vodka. Where did that waitress go?"
The older Ravenclaw nibbled her lip, worried for her friend. Hermione had actually developed a nervous twitch the last time Blaise's mother had come to visit.
Luna gave a shake of her head as she sipped at her fluxweed tea. "I'm so glad Teddy's parents are all locked up. Especially after they put wolfsbane in that soup… I've never been quite sure it was really an accident."
"You know," Hermione grinned wickedly, "that's quite a good idea. Blaise's mummy-dearest will trouble us no more."
"No," Cho shook her head. "Azkaban's no fun at all - you'd just be stuck with more of the same. Better to make them break out in boils, I say."
Hermione looked shocked.
"But Narcissa is lovely!" she protested.
Ginny and Cho shared a grin. "Yeah, but Pansy isn't!"
The women collapsed into fits of laughter. When they had regained most of their composure Luna looked worriedly at the fifth, and empty, chair.
"Where do you think Ron's got to?" she wondered.
"He probably got distracted on the way - you do have to walk past Fortescue's to get here," Ginny giggled.
"He'd better hurry up, we've got to decide where we're going this year," Hermione complained.
"I liked Scotland," Ginny nodded forcefully.
Cho shivered. "No way! It was so damn cold, all the time! And Merlin's pants, the endless rain!"
The others chuckled at their pampered friend - her and Draco suited each other well.
"How about the South of France?" Luna suggested. "It's nice and warm and we could rent a place near the beach - the children would like that."
"The South of France is rumoured to be the hiding place of the Rock of Doubt, a large stone which was for many centuries used by Dark wizards to gain control over others by gradually diminishing their self-conviction and thereby any confidence the victim may have. It is alleged that Fudge used the stone to gain the position of Minister, but this is, ironically, doubtful," Hermione recited from memory. "The men would want to look for it."
"Okay, so definitely not there then," Ginny commented.
Suddenly an out-of-breath looking man burst through the door of the café and threw himself into the only empty chair at the women's table.
"Bit late, Ron," Hermione commented. "There's nothing wrong with the baby, is there?"
The honorary member shook his head and announced between pants "We're going … to… have to make … this the … Sly … therin … wives and … husbands … club."
Cho crossed her arms and raised her eyebrows. "I hate to break it to you, but you're the only husband and it just doesn't have quite the same ring, does it?"
Ron shook his head again, and, having fully recovered his breath, spoke more clearly. "No, no, no. Harry just popped the question … and Pansy said yes!"
A/N : Did you like it? Hate it? Reviews would be very much appreciated… constructive criticism is welcome!