I don't own the Baudelaires, the Unfortunate Events Series, Lemony Snicket, The Ring or anything related to anything. I don't own any remote mountain caves, BLOCKBUSTER, Rogers Video or lightly-buttered-but-not-salted. I don't earn that 'something along the lines of' phrase that Lemony Snicket puts after Sunny talks either. Get it? I own nothing! AAAGH! AGHH! o.O

Now that that's over, enjoy!

Violet tapped her fingers nervously, I mean anxiously (or is it nervously?). Anyway, she tapped them, and that was that.

The Baudelaire orphans were living in a remote cave deep in the mountains (not so remote that it wasn't' well-equipped with electricity and running water, though), but nevertheless were in constant fear of Count Olaf popping up and whisking them away. It had been quite a boring day, so Sunny had suggested that they all watch a movie; it had been a better idea than Klaus's offer to teach them about coral reefs and the dwellings of black bears.

Klaus had taken the opportunity to go down the nearest BLOCKBUSTER, which was coincidentally only a few caves away. Now, as the rays ticked by on a half-melted sundial that Violet had constructed with Klaus's instruction (Sunny had helped find rock and whittle down sticks), Violet wondered what was taking Klaus so long. In her worried and anxious (or is it nervous?) mind, Violet imagined a pair of hands grabbing Klaus on his trip to the video store, or a finger pushing a big red button and there soon being an avalanche near Klaus or…maybe Klaus would pick a really stupid movie; like a documentary about lily pads. As Violet thought about Klaus's movie picks, the big red button and following avalanche didn't seem quite so bad anymore.

"Ab abigo dissuasio," came a whisper from the cave entrance. Meaning 'the cat speaks' it was a Latin password that Klaus had made. With the threat of Count Olaf looming above their heads, the Baudelaire orphans had all agreed on having a weekly secret password. Klaus had suggested the use of Latin in their passwords, insisting that 'Latin may be a dead language, but that does not mean it cannot be reborn in the Baudelaires!'.

"Lightlybutteredbutnotsalted," Sunny muttered, hearing the password. She meant something along the lines of 'Oh good, Klaus is here. I hope he didn't forget the popcorn or get some hideous documentary about lily pads'.

Both Sunny and Violet turned their heads to see Klaus coming into the cave, holding a battered video in one hand and a tub of popcorn in the other. There were no signs that he had gotten trapped in an avalanche preceded by a push of a big red button. In fact, he looked quite cheery.

"Sisters, I have found a video!" he cried, thrusting the arm with the cassette triumphantly into the air.

"Good job, Klaus," Violet said, then hesitated. "What is it?"

"Well, I'm not quite sure," Klaus answered, frowning. When I got to BLOCKBUSTER I found the store to be entirely deserted. Not an employee or customer in sight! I had to find a video and popcorn myself and I left the cash on the counter. Tsk, we may have to switch to Rogers Video, the lack of service at BLOCKBUSTER was absolutely despicable!"

"Gerron wittit!" Sunny cried, meaning 'Yes, I know, horrid, but what movie did you choose? And you didn't put any butter on my popcorn, did you? I know Violet wanted some but it's too slippery for my taste.'

"Well Sunny, I bought three packs of microwave popcorn. If we could construct a microwave then I'm sure you could use the sediment from these cave rocks to salt some plain popcorn. However, to begin with salt isn't very good for teeth, nevermind what it does to your health, and—"

"KLAUS!" Violet rudely interrupted. "The film,"

"Er, yes," Klaus began. "Well after I chose a tape - his one has character, don't you think?" Klaus held out the worm video. "As I was saying, I left the money for it on the counter when a pair of hands whisked me away Hmm, so half of my wish came true, Violet thought. Naturally I was quite spooked when I saw a saggy old man gripping me. I'm afraid he possessed little or no sanity as me looked at me with terrified eyes and shook me vigorously, screaming "Seven days! SEVEN DAYS! …It's due back in seven days, son. Enjoy!"

"Well, Klaus, we are just renting it. I'm sure the man just wanted a prompt return," Violet reasoned.

"Of course, Violet," Klaus said, but didn't sound entirely sure.

"Paranoid twit!" Sunny said, which surely must have meant "It's all right, dear brother. There is nothing to worry about. Now why don't we watch the movie?" And with that, they popped the video into the VCR (I told you this cave was well-equipped!) and settled back, as the FBI warning came on.

Note: To all Klaus fans, I'm not overly fond of Klaus. In fact, I find him quite irritating so don't blame me too much if he finds himself under a big pile of snow, big red button or not. It just had to happen. On a better note, I like Sunny and Violet a lot so you won't have to worry about their well being during the course of this fanfiction. Toodleoo and have a nice day! Panda (See you next chappie!)