Chapter 01

Boarding of the Plane

Disclaimer: No, I don't own anything. Except for a sticker that says 'I love blogging.'

A/N: This is a llama-fic, and everyone is a little OOC... You'll see...

"Flight 19 now boarding at deck 4. I repeat-Flight 19 now boarding at deck 4," the intercom crackled. A short kid with a big head jumped excitedly.

"Hooray! It is time to commence with this 'boarding of the plane!' Now... where is the fourth deck?" The vertically-challenged child began walking proudly to the left-the wrong direction.

"Wrong direction, cheeseball." One of his friends taunted.

"Rai! Be nice!" A girl with tangerine-colored hair snapped. "Deck 4 is to the right, Omi."

"How do you know this?" The cheeseball- Omi -wondered.

"It's called a map, pard'ner." A large cowboy explained. The tangerine haired girl held out a piece of paper to the smaller monk. Omi grabbed it and stared at it in awe.

"Oooohhh! This strange piece of paper has told me where we shall find our plane! Come, my friends, and I shall lead us there!"

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"I can't carry this baggage... my arms are too weak!" Frodo whined. Gandalf rolled his eyes.

"And THIS is the hobbit that took the ring to Mount Doom..." He muttered. Suddenly Sam picked up Frodo.

"C'mon Mr. Frodo! I can't carry it for you, but I CAN carry you!"

"Thank you Sam... I feel... weak..."

"Stupid, nasty hobbitses..." a cage Aragorn was carrying muttered.

"Oh, shove it, you old hag!" Aragorn yelled, whacking the cage angrily with his sword. Merry and Pippin giggled.

"Shut UP, you stupid little hobbits! I hate you!" Aragorn screamed, getting a LOT of shocked stares.

"Count to ten, Aragorn..." Gandalf muttered.

"Shut UP you old codger!" Aragorn screamed. Gandalf, in a fit of anger, whacked Aragorn over the head with his walking stick.

"OWWW!" Aragorn screamed, "You IDIOT! THAT HURT!" He went off to sulk in a corner. Legolas suddenly leaped out of a nearby bathroom. (We don't know if it was men's or women's...)

"Oh my GOD! The soap in there is, like, SCENTED! It's, like, STRAWBERRY! Oh my God!"

"Stupid nancing elf." Gimli muttered.

"Ohmygod Gimli! That is SO-like-MEAN! I, like, hate you!" Legolas sobbed, then went to join Aragorn in the corner. Suddenly Gandalf began muttering in the Black Speech, and Elrond appeared.

"Never before have words in that tongue been uttered here, Gandalf..."

"What the- Where'd you come from?" Pippin shrieked. Elrond shrugged.

"I was at McDonalds. Let's go get on the plane."

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"Hurry UP, Ron! Harry and I found deck 4!" Hermione wailed.

"It's not MY fault these bags are heavy! Gods, 'Mione, what did you PUT in here? My arms are about to fall off!" Ron whined.

"I put 18 books in that bag, and 11 more in that bag, and that bag has my stuff in it, and that little suitcase has 7 books, a dictionary, and an atlas. Oh! And that BIG suitcase has my encyclopedia collection in it!" She explained, rather over-enthusiastically.

"I'm sorry I asked..." Ron moaned.

"Wow. Lots of freaks are on our flight. Look!" Harry exclaimed.

"Wow! Look at that kid! He's so short!" Hermione giggled.

"And his head looks like a cheeseball!" Ron added, laughing so hard that he almost dropped the luggage.

"That blond guy in the tunic is SO gay!" Harry snickered.

"He is NOT! He's ADORABLE..." Hermione swooned, drooling all over Ron, who had finally caught up.

"I bet that guy with the black hair is gay too. He's wearing a TIARA! And his hair's braided!" Ron pointed out, laughing some more.

"Come ON! I want to sit next to that cute blond guy!" Hermione whined, drooling as she pulled them onto the plane.

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Well, there's the first chapter! I'll probably get to update a lot more often when school's out, but for now I'll aim for one new chapter every one to two days. Can't count on that, though.

PLEASE REVIEW!