I figured since I was working on some things here, I'd bring back this story. One of my first, at least complete stories, and I am still super proud of it.
Santana Lopez thought of herself as badass. Most people around her knew her as badass. But there was one person who didn't think of her as badass, and that was her best friend Brittany Pierce. Brittany had been her friend since kindergarten, and knew Santana as best as she could. That was because Santana didn't show anyone but Brittany her soft spots, her caring nature. That was because Santana wanted to be the Queen Bitch, and she couldn't be if she was nice to people.
That was why it surprised Santana when she went to David Karofsky, asking him if he wanted to be her 'beard', because she knew he needed one too. He said he'd think about it, and that had been weeks ago, but Santana didn't care much about Dave. She just needed to date someone, even if it was just for show. She needed someone to date, because she needed to get over her stupid crush on her best friend.
''San, can you help me?'' Santana stared up when she heard her best friend ask for help, and she couldn't help but roll her eyes when she saw Brittany struggle to get the zipper of her skirt down. It was down the side and even Santana sometimes had trouble getting it down, but she always managed one way or another.
''Sure, come here,'' she replied, because she knew it would just take too long for Brittany to get out of it, and the girl needed to shower, because they were going to Puck's annual house party. Whenever Puck's parents went out of town, Puck threw the party of the year, alcohol being tossed around and sex was something that was normal at those parties.
''San, come on you said you'd help, not stare at it all night,'' Brittany said with a goofy grin, and Santana zipped down the zipper before pushing Brittany away again and standing up. ''So I'm just going to…'' her voice faded as she pointed toward the bedroom, and Santana grinned.
''Yeah, just go Britt, I wants to get my drink on,'' she replied, and Brittany hurried into the shower. Not long after that, Santana heard the shower start running, and then Brittany started humming into the silence. Santana lay back on the bed, her arms underneath her head, and listened to her friend. It had been a long time since Brittany had taken a shower at the Latina's home, and Santana had missed spending the time with her. Brittany had always come around after school, take a shower, and then the girls would get their mack on. Santana couldn't remember the last time they did that, but she could only admit to herself that she missed it.
She didn't even notice the shower being turned off, or the humming stopping, or Brittany walking into the room, until she sighed and lifted her head at the quiet a couple of moments later, and Brittany had just dropped the towel to get dressed. Something low in her stomach began to flutter and Santana closed her eyes again, but all she could see were the swell of the blonde's breast and the rounding of her butt.
''Santana, you're not asleep are you? Because you wanted to go to this party; I'm only going because you are,'' she heard Brittany say, and Santana just shook her head, indicating she wasn't asleep. She couldn't open her eyes and she couldn't talk, because of all the emotions running through her body. The strongest one was arousal, and she had to fight her body not to get up and kiss Brittany.
''Nuh-uh,'' she mumbled, and then she sat up, her eyes still closed, ''are you dressed yet?''
''Yeah, why are you closing your eyes? You never close your eyes when I'm naked,'' Brittany informed the brunette. Santana just shrugged, because she didn't know what to say. She couldn't tell Brittany about her feelings – not again, because the last time she did that, she got hurt so badly. She opened her eyes and stared at her friend, looking at what she was wearing. Brittany had donned herself in tight jeans and a simple tank top, unlike Santana, who wore a short, tight dress. Santana blinked a couple of times to focus and smiled at her friend.
''You almost ready?'' she asked, and Brittany sighed and began to put some mascara on. Santana had been done when Brittany had arrived at her home and she still didn't know why the blonde came to her instead of going home to change. It would have been faster for her too, and Santana wouldn't feel like this. She was afraid she would show more than she was supposed to show for her friend. ''Do you think we'll have a good time?''
''That's something you never know, Santana. But with the two of us, how can we not?'' she smiled at Santana with joy and Santana smiled. She had promised she would be the designated driver, so she wasn't about to drink, and that was one of the reasons she had asked Brittany. But the other reason was the wondering if they could still have fun after what happened at school – after she had poured her heart out and Brittany had rejected her.
''You're so right. Are you done now?'' she asked again, and Brittany giggled and nodded, and then she took Santana's hand and pulled her up. ''Finally, I was about to fall asleep waiting on you,'' the Latina teased, and Brittany giggled again. She loved that giggle; it was so carefree that it hurt sometimes to listen to Brittany.
''You're in a hurry – meeting someone special there?'' she asked, wiggling her eyebrows. She knew Santana wasn't meeting someone there, and Santana didn't like the way she was looking at her while asking. So she just shook her head and walked out of her room, not waiting to see if Brittany followed her. She only stopped when she was at her car and had to open her door. She saw Brittany frowning at her while walking to the car, and Santana got in. She put on her seatbelt and started the car before Brittany was even inside, and Brittany sighed. ''What did I say wrong? Was it because I made a joke?''
''No, I didn't say you said anything wrong,'' Santana replied, but she knew Brittany knew her to well for her to let it go with that, and she had acted childish by walking away. So she sighed and drove off, thinking of something to say. ''What if I am meeting someone special?'' she settled on asking, and dared a glance at the blonde next to her.
''It's your night,'' Brittany said softly, but Santana could see something was wrong. The way she said it was different from the way she'd asked, and all Santana could do was wonder about it on the way to Puck's. Brittany didn't say a word, and once they stopped in front of Puck's house, Brittany was out before Santana could take off her seatbelt.
''Hey, thanks, leave me behind,'' Santana yelled at the blonde, but Brittany didn't even turn around. Santana could hear the music drift out of the house for a second when Brittany opened the door, and she sighed and braced herself before going in. 'Mr. Saxobeat' drummed through the house and Santana grinned when she saw some of the teenagers she knew already drunk and grinding with strangers.
''Hey Lopez, just got in?'' a voice behind her shouted over the music, and she turned around and stood face to face with Dave Karofsky. Her grin faded from her face and she just shrugged, and then left him to stand on his own. He had already had enough to drink and Santana wasn't planning on hanging out with someone she didn't even really like. She had only offered to 'date' him because she didn't want people to know she was gay, and she knew he was gay too.
''Santana, come here and have a drink,'' she heard, and she turned and saw Quinn swaying to the music. Quinn was one of the teenagers already drunk and Santana grinned at her and moved toward her before she shook her head. ''Aw come on,'' Quinn added in a begging tone, and Santana laughed.
''You're already drunk, and no, I don't drink tonight. I'm the designated driver for Britt and… whoever needs it,'' she replied, and Quinn shook her head disapprovingly, but didn't say anything. Santana sat down next to Quinn and watched her for a moment before she looked around and searched for Brittany. ''Hey, did you see Britt?''
''She… well, I saw her when she came in,'' Quinn said after some time, and Santana sighed. She didn't know why, but Brittany was angry with her and she wanted to know what she did wrong.
Brittany was never one to get angry. She was a sweet loving person and whenever she was angry she would pull away. She didn't like fights, and she did everything in her power to avoid them. Tonight though, she didn't. She was upset, because of Santana, and she didn't like the way Santana always seemed to want her to be there. She sometimes didn't understand what Santana actually wanted of her.
''Hey Britt, come dance!'' Brittany turned around when she heard her name and she smiled at Artie, who had called her, but she shook her head and made her way through the crowd and into the kitchen. She'd seen Santana sitting next to Quinn and she didn't want to hang around the Latina, so she'd just decided she would have a good time on her own.
''Where is the alcohol?'' she asked one of the football guys, and he pointed her toward it. She poured herself a big cup of whatever, and then she turned around and leaned against the kitchen counter. ''Dave…'' She realized who it was that had pointed her toward the booze, and she sighed. She had a bad feeling whenever she was around Karofsky, but she didn't know why.
''Where is your sidekick?'' he asked, without greeting her, and she shrugged. She took a big gulp of whatever was in her cup and made a face, when you weren't drunk yet, alcohol didn't taste that good. ''What, you two got separated? Why aren't you looking for her then?'' he asked her with a grin, and she shrugged again.
''It doesn't concern you, Dave. Just go away,'' she replied softly, and he shuffled off, but Brittany knew it wasn't because she told him to. She somehow had the feeling he was going to look for Santana, but she didn't care that much. She was about to have the night of her life and she wanted to forget about Santana for a while.
She stood there for a while sipping her drink and refilling it once, enjoying the peace for she wanted to get drunk before she would even think about talk to Santana. She felt lonely without the Latina, like being at a dance without a dance partner. So because the kitchen was just too quiet she poured the cup to the rim, took a big gulp and made her way back into the crowded living room and hallway. She stood there for a moment, and then she heard Artie call out to her again.
''Hey Britt, you ready to dance now?'' he asked, and she sighed. She loved Artie, she really did, but he sometimes treated her like she was a little kid and that was something she didn't like. Santana would never treat her like a kid.
''Yeah,'' she replied loudly, and then made her way over to him. She needed to get her mind off of the Latina for one night, and everything would be just fine in the morning.
''Quinn stop leaning on me,'' Santana said after she pushed away the blonde ex-cheerleader for the fourth time. She walked away after that because she didn't feel like being about the drunk Quinn for the rest of the night. She was still sober and the party had been going on for hours, and she hated it.
She normally would've been drunk on her ass and crying about everything, and now she was sober and wanted to cry about everything. She still hadn't seen Brittany other than the occasional glances she caught of the blonde. Mostly the blonde was with Artie, and it killed Santana to think the two of them would come back together, because she wanted Brittany. Artie didn't deserve her.
''Hey dyke, care to-''
''Okay Dave, let me stop you right there. I'm not a dyke,'' Santana interrupted the jock through gritted teeth and looked around her to see if anyone had heard it. ''Now, you need to get the fuck out of my face because you're annoying me,'' she added, and he grinned at her. She wondered what was going on in that little brain of his, but then he grabbed her arm.
''I'll leave you alone if you dance with me,'' he slurred, and Santana knew it was a bad idea, but she did it anyway because she didn't want him to keep hanging around her. She nodded, and he pulled her to the makeshift dance floor roughly, and then he pulled her against him. ''Enjoy, babe,'' he said and then he began grinding against her. She rolled her eyes, and then she tried to get out because she didn't like it one bit, but he was strong.
''Hey, I think she doesn't like that, Dave,'' a voice behind her said, and she closed her eyes in relief, and before she turned around she knew it was Brittany. Brittany stood with a little smile on her face, staring at Dave with her pretty eyes, and Dave sighed and walked away. He stumbled away. Santana looked at Brittany and wanted to open her mouth to thank her when Brittany turned around again and walked out of Santana's vision.
''Thanks…'' Santana mumbled to the blonde's back, and then she turned around and made her way to the stairs. She needed some time alone; she needed some time to calm down. She needed Brittany, but Brittany obviously didn't need her. She moved up the stairs slowly, pushing away everyone that didn't move when she walked by, and sighed when she was up the stairs. It was a lot less crowded and she nodded to herself before stepping into Puck's room. It was dark and empty, and as Santana sat down on the bed she sighed and closed her eyes.
She was tired of fighting her feelings for Brittany. She was sick of acting she was someone she wasn't. She wanted to have fun and have what she wanted, and that was Brittany. She was just too scared to admit it and she knew Brittany wanted her to be brave, but she couldn't. Thinking about coming out and dating Brittany scared the shit out of her, and she knew it would be worse when she actually did that. No, she wouldn't come out, even if it meant losing Brittany.
The door opened, and she opened her eyes to see who it was. She couldn't, because it was dark in the room and the door had already closed behind the person, but she could see it was a big person. It was probably a guy, and she rolled her eyes and sighed, but the guy just stood there for a moment. Then he moved, and she could see in the way he walked that he was drunk, and she hated it. She hated being in a room with a drunken teenager.
''Can't you find another room?'' she snapped at the boy, but he didn't reply, he just kept walking toward her. He moved faster, and suddenly she was pinned down on the bed, with him holding both of her hands above her head. He straddled her and she bucked to fight him off, but he was heavy. ''Get off of me, you oaf,'' she snapped loudly, and he just laughed.
''You asked me a couple of weeks ago if I wanted to date you, here's my answer,'' Karofsky said, and Santana widened her eyes and wanted to say something, but before she could open her mouth he was kissing her roughly, and she gagged. His teeth scraped her lips and she could taste her own blood when he bit her, and she wanted to scream.
''Get off,'' she yelled when he pulled back from the kiss, and he just shushed her. ''No, stop it, I-''
''Hey, you want this as bad as I do, and after we've done this, we'll date like you wanted, but I need this now and you are going to give it to me,'' Karofsky slurred, and Santana widened her eyes.
''Do you think I still want to date you after this, you big fat idiot,'' she said and he just grinned, and then he pulled her dress up. She tried to fight him off, but he elbowed her in the stomach and all she could do was look at the stars behind her eyelids. ''Stop this, you don't have to do this to prove anything,'' she said loudly, trying one last time before he would do what he had planned, and he just shook his head.
''That's where you're wrong. They all think I'm gay just because I haven't had you yet, because you're easy. They told me you never said no,'' he said in reply, and Santana closed her eyes. She felt the tears stream down her face, and the panic throb through her body. She couldn't do anything to stop him. When his zipper sounded, she screamed.
Brittany pushed away from Artie and stared at him with a blank expression on her face. He had just tried to kiss her yet again; even though she had told him she didn't want to be with him anymore. After he had called her stupid, she didn't think he loved her enough. Santana had always said that people who love you wouldn't insult you. But Artie did, and because of Santana.
''I don't want to kiss you Artie. Even if I'm drunk of my ass you shouldn't take advantage of me,'' she slurred to the boy in the wheelchair, and then she stumbled off into a corner and sat down next to Quinn. ''I want to go home but I can't seem to get the energy to get up,'' Brittany said to the other blonde.
''I could bring you home,'' Quinn offered, but Brittany knew the girl was just as drunk as she was, so she shook her head. ''Oh, well, I don't remember who was my driver so maybe it's Santana…''
''But have you seen her?'' Brittany asked the question she'd wanted to ask all night, but nobody seemed to care about Santana so she didn't. ''I mean, I saw her dancing with Karofsky earlier but she didn't seem that into it and then she disappeared,'' she said, and she looked around again, to see if Santana had resurfaced yet. She couldn't see her, but that was no surprise because it was so crowded in the house.
''No, not after she left. I mean she left me, to go somewhere. I don't know,'' Quinn stumbled over her words and Brittany giggled, but then she stood. She needed to look for Santana; she was worried about the Latina even though she was still a little angry. There was a commotion at the stairs, and Brittany realized she never thought about Santana being upstairs. Sometimes when Santana didn't drink, she would go upstairs – wherever they were – and she would sit and think, because she needed the quiet for a moment.
Just as she moved to the stairs, Quinn who stared wide-eyed at someone grabbed her from behind. Brittany sighed and turned, to see who Quinn was looking at, and then she saw Santana. There were tear tracks on her face, and she seemed to be drunk. But Brittany knew Santana wouldn't drink, she was responsible, so she knew she wasn't drunk. Brittany made her way toward the Latina, who looked up when she heard someone approach, and Brittany almost jumped back when she saw the blank stare.
''Britt, we're going home now. Who's driving with us?'' Santana asked, and Brittany frowned at the extremely raspy voice. Santana already had a raspy voice, but not this bad. Something was going on, but then Brittany remembered the tear tracks, and she sighed. The Latina had been crying over something.
''I am,'' Quinn said softly, obviously seeing something Brittany didn't see. Santana nodded and began to move toward the door, Brittany next to her and Quinn behind her. Brittany looked back one last time, and saw Dave coming from upstairs, and she wondered what had been going on. Had Santana hooked up with Karofsky?
''Get in, I need a shower and I need to sleep.'' Something about Santana's voice urged the two blondes to listen to her, and they both got into Santana's car and bucked up. Santana sat down gingerly, and Brittany sighed.
''You hooked up with him didn't you?'' she asked, and Santana stared at her, still blankly, and just nodded. Brittany knew something had happened, and she knew the Latina wouldn't tell anything if she asked, so she just let it go. ''I don't like it.''
''Well, I don't care what you do or do not like, because I'm dating him and that's that,'' the Latina snapped, and then she drove off. Brittany stared at her best friend and wondered where the girl was she loved so much. This wasn't the Santana she knew.