The Wonderful Pillar of Storge
Disclaimer: Harry Potter characters, props, and settings are copyrighted to J. K. Rowling. I'm just borrowing.
Rating: PG.
Author's Note: Hi, everyone! This fic was written for the OTP 2006 Valentine's Day Challenge on FictionAlley. My prompt sentence was: "Fred Weasley wants to visit the Pillar of Storge with Nymphadora Tonks." I've never written this pairing- or, frankly, even thought of this pairing- before, and I hope I did them justice. Anyway, enjoy!
She stared at him blankly for a moment before bursting into unchecked laughter. "What did you just say?"
He grinned relentlessly right back at her. "I said, d'you fancy a visit to the Pillar of Storge?"
"Fred Weasley, what in the name of Dumbledore's dodgy earmuffs is this Pillar of Storge thingummy, and why would I want to go there?" Tonks asked between chuckles.
She had been lazing at Molly and Arthur's kitchen table, quite peaceably ripping a photo of Remus and herself into unrecognizable confetti, when the incorrigible Weasley twins had barged in, drawn up chairs to either side of her, and proceeded to spout utter nonsense.
It was just what she'd needed to turn her week around, and she hadn't even known it until that moment. Tonks had an inkling that they, however, knew quite well.
"You don't know what the Pillar of Storge is?" Fred gasped loudly and rearranged his features into exaggerated surprise. "Blimey! George, is she having me on? Tell me she's joking! She just can't be serious! Can she be serious?"
Fred's twin grimly shook his head. "I'm afraid so, Fred. I'm afraid so."
Holding a hand to his heart in a theatric pose, Fred bemoaned Tonks's sorry state of affairs. "Oh, imagine! You poor, poor woman! Not knowing what the Pillar of Storge is… Really, I ask you!"
"Shut it, you two," Tonks interrupted his soliloquy, shaking her head in amusement. "This is you ganging up on me for avoiding your mum, isn't it? I thought I'd been right clear with her that Charlie isn't my type, and I'm not pining."
"What is your type?" the twins chorused. Fred waggled his eyebrows and George batted his lashes comically.
Tonks snorted. "You know very well, you utter prats. Dating Charlie would be a bit like taking my cousin to the ball, honestly. Remus, on the other hand-"
She cut herself off, deflating altogether.
Fred pushed his chair back from the table, stood, struck a pose that oozed chivalry, and gallantly offered his hand. The icing on the proverbial cake arrived as he added, "Madam, I must insist that you visit the Pillar of Storge at once! It is of the utmost importance!"
It was far too ridiculous to ignore in favor of self-pity. Tonks laughed aloud, unable to help herself. "Will either Remus or Molly be there?"
George assured her quite thoroughly that they would not.
Feigning mulling it over, she frowned down at the scraps of photo that littered the table. Tonks noted that some of them were changing color- from bubblegum pink to a fiery red. "Well, I suppose it can't be the end of the world, can it? After all, that already happened last June. Good show on Harry's part to make that go away, yeah?"
"Remind me again how you roped me into this?" Tonks demanded, teeth chattering. She could see her breath escaping in cloudlike vapor before her. It brought back memories from her early Hogwarts days, when she and Charlie had played at being dragons. Charlie used to be good for a laugh, but he'd gotten dead serious since then.
Her "guides" snickered like the imps they were. "Now, now, Tonks. How can you complain? You're going to see the Greatest Wonder of the Known World!"
Which apparently happened to be at the top of what- Tonks was convinced- had to be the steepest hill in all of Ottery St. Catchpole. It was this same hill that they were currently climbing… in February… in the snow.
"You mean the one that only you two seem to know about?" Tonks shot them a lopsided grin.
"That's the one!" Fred nodded vigorously.
"Clever thing, isn't she, Fred?"
"Oh, yes, quite. I couldn't agree more."
She shoved them playfully. "Gits. I ought to send you packing to your mum."
Fred and George clutched at each other in mock terror. Eyes wide and pleading, Fred stuttered, "Oh n-no, you w-w-wouldn't, s-surely?"
Tonks patted him on the head consolingly. "There, there. Only ribbing." Then, with a malicious smile, she brought the snowball that she'd hidden behind her back down on his head. Following Fred's startled yelp, she took off, laughing herself silly. Tonks was going to bust a lung from laughing if the night carried on like this.
George looked at Fred knowingly. "Well? Go get her."
Fred didn't need to be told twice. With a cheery salute, he ran up the hill after Tonks.
George watched his brother go, feeling very well chuffed. When they'd disappeared over the rise, he stretched and continued on his way. By his reckoning, they'd catch up with him in an hour or so- and George was willing to bet Ludo Bagman that Tonks wouldn't be worrying her pretty little head about Remus Lupin anymore.
Tonks bolted through the snow, pausing occasionally to fling a handful at her pursuer- and dodging a few bitterly cold missiles in return. Her lead on Fred was increasing, however, and she was feeling pretty bloody cocksure.
"Spot on- if you're aiming ten yards to my left, that is!" she yelled over her shoulder, teasing.
She met Fred's rebuttal in the form of a snowball to the face. Spluttering around a mouthful of snow, Tonks jumped to the side in order to avoid his second snowball- only to be hit squarely in the chest regardless. "Cheating twat! No magic!"
Within a moment, what had to be a ruddy armful of unavoidable snow pelted her, knocking her flat on her arse. Tonks glared as Fred jogged up, a broad smile plastered on his face as he pocketed his wand.
"I suppose you think that was hilarious," she remarked conversationally.
"Oh my, yes."
"I'm soaked now, you know that?"
As she shivered, his grin never lessened; but he held out a hand formally. "Need help there, miss?"
Tonks took the proffered hand- and dragged him down into the snow beside her, stuffing a handful down his jumper and laughing evilly. Fred squirmed and wrestled her onto her back, rubbing more snow in her face. She squealed and recaptured his arms.
It took both of them a moment to realize that Fred was now practically sprawled on top of her. They froze.
"Eh… Wotcher, Weasley." Tonks smiled nervously.
Fred cocked his head ever so slightly to the side, peering down at her. "Hey, Tonks?"
She blinked. "Yeah?"
What happened next seemed, to Tonks, as though it happened in slow motion- while, accordingly, her thoughts sped up. Oh-my-bright-blue-blazes-what-is-he-doing-is-he-really-leaning-down-oh-hell-yes-he-is-I'm-going-to-get-ill.
She did not, in fact, get ill.
However, Tonks did find herself being thoroughly snogged by Fred Weasley. While that astonished her enough, what she found more shocking was the fact that she was quite thoroughly snogging him back, and rather enjoying it.
In addition, her long-held theory that older blokes were better kissers was being soundly trounced.
Tonks discovered her new research on the matter cut short when Fred pulled away. His eyes swept over her in consideration before fixing upon her own. "So, anything like taking your cousin to the ball?"
She laughed in amazement. "Not anything near… although I suppose it might be in the case of Slytherins." Her laughter escalated as he pulled a disgusted face.
"We're going to have to find something better to occupy your mouth with," Fred informed her, his eyebrows practically wiggling off of his face. Before Tonks could say another word, he leaned back down to give her an example.
No short amount of time and "examples" later, Tonks and Fred made it to the hilltop, where they found George waiting for them.
He looked them over with a wide smile. "You're both soaked."
"Are we?" Fred looked rapidly between himself and Tonks, covering his mouth in a show of alarm. "Blimey! How did that happen?" he asked innocently.
George deadpanned. "Probably the same way Tonks ended up wearing your jumper and you, hers."
Tonks flushed and looked down at the jumper in question. "George…" She looked back up and pointed an accusing finger at him. "That's not funny!"
"Made you look!" He winked.
It was about this time that she noticed the funny-looking rock that George was standing in front of. About four feet high and made of what appeared to be limestone, it looked distinctly like some… sort of… pillar…
"Don't tell me."
Fred and George flashed identical grins at her. "Yep. That's the Pillar of Storge."
Tonks looked at the Pillar of Storge. Then she looked at Fred. "This is the Greatest Wonder of the Known World?"
Fred nodded serenely.
"…Why is it called the Pillar of Storge?"
The twin grins were directed toward each other now.
"It sounded better than the Pillar of Stred," George explained.
"Much more imposing," Fred nodded.
"…Don't you think?" They looked back at her.
She snorted. "And why is it such a wonder?"
"Because it got you out of the house," Fred told her cheekily.
It took her a moment to piece that together. Then her eyes widened. "FRED!" She gestured incomprehensibly at him. "You. You planned this! And you," she gestured equally incomprehensibly at George. "You helped!"
They shrugged in a silly way, as if to say, "Whoops!" But Fred looked noticeably paler, when Tonks thought to examine him more closely. She scowled at him anyway.
"Prats," she muttered and began to stomp off.
Unfortunately, the snow bank that she failed to notice put a halt to her dramatic exit as she tripped over it, falling, face-first, into said snow bank. Brilliant, just FAB, she groaned inwardly.
Tonks started to haul herself to her feet, but was preempted. She soon found herself upright in Fred's arms. She scowled at him some more.
"I fancy you," Fred blurted, grinning madly. "And that wanker Lupin used to make me turn green with envy." He paused thoughtfully. "Not natural, you know, for a Weasley to be green. S'not healthy. Anyway, I like to see you laugh, and ever since Lupin royally rodgered up things and cheated on you, you haven't been much with the laughing. I was hoping I could cheer you up, but with Mum lobbing Charlie at you constantly…"
It dawned on Tonks that this was actually not a prank at her expense. She also realized exactly how jealous Fred seemed to be of Charlie as well as Remus. About the same time, it hit her like a speeding Bludger exactly how much fun she'd had with Fred tonight- how much fun she always had with Fred- and how absolutely sweet it was of him to do this. Ten seconds later, she found that she was, in fact, already snogging him again.
Fred broke away after a long moment, positively glowing. His eyes flickered over her face and did a double take. "Tonks…" He began laughing. "Nice hair!"
Curious, as she hadn't consciously done anything, she grabbed a stray lock and examined it. "It's Weasley red," she mused, giggling.
"So it is," George remarked, joining in on their laughter. "I'm sure that'll catch Mum's interest. Speaking of which… We should, in all likelihood, head back."
Nodding, Fred threw an arm over Tonks's shoulders. "Right. Home we go."
"Happy Valentine's," he added privately to Tonks, as they began the trek back to the Burrow.
Tonks blinked. "It's St. Valentines? I totally forgot."
Fred smiled at her. "I know. That was, after all, why I had to remind you."
Finite Incantatem!
Author's Note: So there you have it! Leave me a review and tell me what you thought. Oh, and forgive me for the Remus-bashing. I don't really think he'd ever cheat on Tonks. (Except maybe with Sirius… Heh.)