Author's note: This ficlet was largely inspired by a comment made in Dreams Made Flesh (the story Kaeleer's Heart) about Jaenelle having her own dreams, dreams that differed from those of the Blood. However, this takes a darker turn (no pun intended).
I'd also like to apologize to WolfDaughter, if you're reading this. I know it really isn't what you asked for, but it was the only young!Jaenelle that came to me. If you send me some specifics, I'll try to do better.
Darkness
There are many forms of darkness. Few people know them as well as Jaenelle Angelline does.
There is the Darkness, the power that make the Blood who and what they are. It is the comforting presence that surrounds her deep in the Abyss, the warmth she passes through when she travels between the Realms.
There is the darkness of shadows, of obscured or banished light. It hides things – sometimes her, sometimes not. Either way, that kind of darkness is what it is, and she cannot fault it for that.
There is the darkness of despair, of hope betrayed or abandoned. It pains people, makes them cry and give up on wishes. It hurts her through the loss of dreams.
There is the darkness of people's hearts and minds, the cruelty and self-willed blindness of humans. It is the creeping taint slowly turning life to death, joy to sorrow, pleasure to pain. It is a darkness Jaenelle was born to destroy.
There is the secret darkness that is only hers, the darkness that came to her even though the Blood did not dream it for her. It is the darkness of wanting to strike at those who hurt her, to tear flesh and mind and power into shreds and glory in the knowledge that she is finally safe… But she will never do that, won't desire to do that, for her freedom was never the dream. The Blood dreamed her strong and fierce and kind, a shield for the clean and a weapon against the tainted, one who would always care and never flinch away.
Trapped in the shadow-darkness of her room at Briarwood, despair-darkness pressing close as taint-darkness sweeps across her skin like an uncle's breath and all Darkness lies waiting for her call, she clutches the secret-darkness to her, lets it swallow her for just a while. She is torn inside by the impossibility of ruthless kindness and gentle cruelty that the Blood chose for her, but the secret-darkness is hers. It makes her more than just the flesh of their dreams; it makes her Jaenelle, makes her a person, gives her the ability to dream.
And she dreams.
She dreams of the things she cannot do, of the secret of what the Blood forbade her to be, and maybe one day her dream will become flesh and destroy the Blood for cursing her with the agony of loving them.