Crashing Down --------------------
As the moon was shining down out side of G-major I was just standing there. In the alley by myself looking up at the stars. I was so fed up with everything and everyone, my mind seemed to be on overload. I felt him come up beside me after a little while. I didn't speak or even turn around but I didn't need to because it was Tommy. He knew I was off, I couldn't get the melody right no matter how hard I tried. He finally broke the silence, it startled me when he spoke even though I knew he was there. He had held eye contact with me as he started to speak.
" Girl, what's going on with you ?" he asked a slow , soothing voice. Even though it was only Tommy , I had trouble finding the words to describe what I was feeling. I had to turn away from him, break the eye contact that seemed to burn right into my body. I couldn't look at him it almost hurt too much. I felt his hand encompass mine and pull me back towards him. As he turned me around to face him and he began to speak the moonlight had made the tears that were on my cheeks visible.
" Hey, look at me, it's okay" He said gently as he lifted his hand to my cheek to wipe away my tears. That alone was too much for me to take, that one action caused me to break in ways that I thought weren't even possible. I started to sob, he pulled me to his body and just held me close to him. He kissed my forehead a couple of times. He kissed me once on my cheek, his lips actually caught the tear that was slowly slipping out of my eye . He suggested that we go and find someplace more comfortable to talk. I didn't object, in fact I liked that idea.
We walked to his car and he started to drive, I didn't know where he was going. But then I soon realized we were headed back to his apartment. Some place I had never been, yet the idea of going there was comfortable for me because it was Tommy's place. I remember riding in the car and staring out the window and just trying to figure out how I was going to tell him, I sighed loudly. I think that caught his attention because he rested his hand on my thigh and ran his fingers along my jeans in an effort to soothe me. That little gesture made me want to run and stay all at the same time. I knew that Tommy was there for me but it was so hard for me to open up to anyone, especially him.
As the car came to a stop in front of his apartment building, then I panicked I was regretting letting him bring me here. To be alone with him, really truly isolated from everyone and everything. He grabbed my hand as we climbed the stairs to his apartment, the feeling of his hand in mine felt so unbearably right. We entered his apartment and he led me towards the kitchen grabbed a bottle of water out of the fridge and handed it to me. I took in my surroundings as we walked past the living room area I could see the comfy couch and the large screen tv in the entertainment center, everything was illuminated by the full moon. There were windows everywhere I remember wondering what this place looked like right at dawn .I had left my converses by the door and I loved the feeling of the carpet under my feet as we walked towards his bedroom. I clung to his hand the entire time as he led me through his place. We finally reached his bedroom and my stomach was far beyond the knots that were in it earlier.
I took in his room, the bed, the night stand, the dresser and everything in between. I didn't even wait to follow his lead I jumped on to the bed and just laid back, letting myself be absorbed my the smell of Tommy. He had reached for the water bottle at some point and took a drink and gave it back to me. Tommy just taking it and sharing with me, a little insignificant thing but it something that spoke volumes to me that night and still does to this day.
" Tommy, I don't even know where to start" I spoke shakily. He had ended up sitting next to me and he just leaned closer to me. His firm presence next to me made me want to bear my soul, but my brain wouldn't let me even some close to doing that.
"Jude..." he said softly. He knew that this was going to be hard for me , I could tell by the look in his eyes he was going to be patient with me. I had to get up and start moving or I knew that I would not be able to talk without crying. So I paced the floor in front of the bed where he was laying, just watching me.
" I feel like I can't handle anything anymore... I mean its all finally there in front of me and now I have to deal with it. Mom dating the lawyer who I can't stand. Dad being with Yvette and them moving in together. I mean finally things with Sadie have calmed down but now she going to go to college in the States. Losing Kat in a very big way and Jamie too almost, I mean its Jamie but things have changed and neither of use are willing to admit that to each other. Tommy, I feel like everything important to me completely slips away from me. It just hurts. I am sick of trying to pick up the pieces and trying to fit them back together. Nothing fits anymore. I am sick of people leaving and now I feel like I am just waiting for everyone else to bail on me ." I just admitted my deepest thoughts to Tommy and I couldn't stop the water from escaping my eyes. I realized I had finally admitted what I was feeling to myself too.
I looked up to meet his eyes with my glossy ones and he could tell that I needed him. I needed someone there and he made me feel as though he wanted to be there , he needed to be that person for me. He slowly rose from his position on the bed, and came towards me. He looked at me and rested his forehead against mine. As we connected he pulled me closer to him as he said something that I have carried with me always and I think I always will.
" Girl, you are never alone , you are stuck with me . You are so special to me and I am never going to bail on you, you mean way too much to me for that to happen, I promise ." He finished softly. He reached over and wiped the tears off of my face but they kept falling.
I could barely get my next words out " Don't think I won't let you off the hook anytime soon Quincy." I said in a quiet whisper, then I leaned into his chest. Tommy had chuckled at this slightly pulled me up at little and whispered in my ear. " I wouldn't want it any other way. Now lets get you some rest and see if in the morning we could conquer the music world with a smash hit and those problems you mentioned" He finished with a slight smile on his face, gently embracing my body still.
Author's Note - This is my first Instant Star story, I am a big Jude and Tommy fan ( as if you couldn't tell by reading this ) I don't know where this story is going but if I get some feed back I'll know whether or not to continue this story. So feedback would be very helpful. Sorry about the cliff hanger kinda ending - I just couldn't resist. If people seem to want more, more will follow