Beth6787

15 January y

Second Chances

Set immediately post 'Endgame'. Debriefings are over and the Voyager family are having a final celebration before going their separate ways...

Twenty six days after reaching Earth orbit...

So this was it. The one and only last chance for a big Voyager family get together before they were all officially 'on leave' from tomorrow morning. Bags were packed in temporary quarters and families all over the Quadrant were preparing to receive their loved ones home.

They had all been allowed to beam back up to Voyager to gather one last time in their Mess Hall. Voyagers only, plus a few inevitable 'Fleet security, but they would keep discreetly out of sight. She had made sure of that.

The party had been in full swing for over an hour and she had valiantly done the rounds. Shared the odd joke, wished her crew well. But she could not bring herself to be the life and soul of the party.

Chakotay had caught up with her ( for the first time privately - since they had entered orbit) a couple of hours before the beam up. She had suspected what was coming : hadn't Admiral Janeway already told her far more than she wanted to know? He had mumbled something about Seven expecting him to escort her this evening, she had pretended to know nothing, and put on an excellent act of being simultaneously surprised and confused. If he was going to break her heart then why should she make it easy for him? It certainly wouldn't be for her. Petty, admittedly. But she was past caring. What had followed was a bumbling ramble about having - perhaps ! - gone on a couple of dates with Seven and now they were going to see where it led. ...blah...blah...blah...

All feelings of wanting revenge left her in an instant. She just wanted this torture over. So she had put on her best Oscar winning Captain Janeway persona and wished them both well. If fact, the act was so convincing she had Chakotay thinking he was off the hook and half convincing herself in the process. Of course, once he had left and headed back to his quarters to pack : reality had floored her.

Here she was, forty four years old, the heroine of the Delta Quadrant...and what did she, Kathryn, personally have to show for it. Nothing at all. Just a whole bunch of shattered dreams.

So she had put off making her entrance until the last moment. Alone : of course ! Dear Harry had rushed over with a drink and it had been a challenge to prise him from her side. He knew. All the senior staff did. It was obvious. The overtly overly kind gestures; the attempts to keep her out of the line of sight of Chakotay and Seven; the obvious tension between the Paris's and Chakotay. B'Elanna looked as though she was going to do someone some serious damage any minute and Kathryn couldn't attribute that entirely to post partum hormones.

She stood in the corner, by Chell's oven and watched the crew dynamic. This situation between the command team was doing serious damage and she did not want that. She would have to try : really try - to be genuinely accepting of Chakotay and Seven as a couple. Happy for them would take a while longer. She WAS only human at the end of the day.

As she picked up a fresh glass and was about to turn and make her way over to Chakotay, Seven and Icheb she felt a tap on her shoulder. "Hello Kathryn, long time no see." For a split second she thought she had lost her mind. That voice it belonged to...but that was impossible. Here...now...? She turned around and sure enough, large as life, there - only inches away - stood Mark Johnson.

The first thing that came into her head was "How did you.."

"Get in here?" Mark finished for her. She nodded, still stunned. "I still have some connections and influence within "Fleet Kathryn. Actually I called in a favour from Owen Paris who was more than happy to oblige me."

He did not want to draw the attention of her crew mates. Not just yet. Hence his having 'borrowed' - again courtesy of Admiral Paris - a Starfleet security officer's uniform. He felt out of place in it but needs must... "Kathryn, can we slip out somewhere and talk for a moment?"

She looked around. No one had noticed anything. It would be perfectly normal for the Captain to deal with the temporary security contingent. She nodded "Follow me." Then Kathryn made appropriate noises about how many officers were manning each deck etc. until they had made it back to her old quarters. Now a mere standard Starfleet shell of a room. A blank sheet. Somehow this felt appropriate in this 'situation' : whatever that was.

She still had a functional replicator "Tea?" She enquired. "Your usual blend?"

Before he could answer she had prepared their drinks on auto-pilot as she had done thousands of times before. That was bizarrely, incredibly comforting for him to know.

"So" now with her professional persona firmly in place, after the initial shock "How are your wife and son Mark? Claire and ...Charlie ...isn't it?"

There was no easy way to say what had to come next. And he really had no idea how she would react. He knew how he wanted her to react...but then again...

He had not replied and he was looking...pained...had something tragic happened to them? Had she said completely the wrong thing, he had obviously come up here alone..

"Mark ...?"

He could tell from the expressions flirting across her eyes that she was going off in completely the wrong direction. She thought ... he had to just blurt it out. Now ! Take whatever reaction came his way.

"Kathryn. I don't have a wife...or a son. Wait!" He could see she was about to offer her condolences "It's not what you are thinking. I never did. I am alone, well apart from two very boisterous Red Setters that is." He was trying to relieve the tension but he could see all the full spectrum of emotions crossing Kathryn's face.

"But that 'Dear John' letter you sent me four years ago..." .

He was about to explain but then it hit her. There was no need to. Being Mark he had done what he believed to be the honourable thing. He had given her an out. Her freedom to pursue a life in the DQ. To find what happiness might come her way. If anyone understood duty and sacrifice...HELL ! The 'Starfleet Way' then he did. He always had. That was the reason she agreed to marry him all those years ago.

"You don't need to explain Mark. I understand. I see it all now, though of course, I should have done at the time. But I was a little distracted with trying to keep my ship and crew in one piece."

He smiled at her. "I realise that. Do you have any plans for when you officially start your leave tomorrow. Once you have seen all your crew safely on their way that is."

Actually she didn't. She had arranged to visit her mother and sister in a week's time but she had just needed a little downtime to herself first. So she had taken a temporary apartment at HQ. She told Mark, truthfully "Actually no. Not immediately. I have a week free to unwind before heading back to Indiana..."

"Then perhaps you would consider spending a couple of days out at my place? I still have the old house, though I have extended a little, as we had planned before... Anyway, Molly would love to see you as would Katie."

Kathryn looked at him quizzically "Katie?"

He laughed. "Molly's daughter. The prettiest of the litter with a bright auburn coat and commanding personality. She reminded me so much of someone I thought lost...that I couldn't bear to part with her. And to be honest, I could do with a hand after almost eight years of coping with your pets singlehandedly."

She laughed, mostly to cover up just how overwhelmed and touched she truly was. Dear Mark...her instincts about him had been right all along. Suddenly those dark clouds that had descended with the appearance of Admiral Janeway and her revelations were lifting. Perhaps there was light at the end of the tunnel.

"I'd love that Mark. Just give me a couple of days at HQ to get my head together then pick me up. We can talk properly once we get back to your place."

"Good. That's settled then. I hate to bring this to a close but shouldn't you be getting back to your party. The crew will start to notice you are missing soon and..."

He was right. "Mark. Would you join me? I'd love to introduce you to my senior staff who have become as dear to me over the years as my biological family. Tom and B'Elanna have literally just had a baby daughter a month ago and my First Officer told me earlier today that he has started a relationship with our ex-Borg, Seven. They are all starting to make new lives for themselves and I'd love you to..."

"To show them that there is something to come home to for their intrepid leader as well?"

After all these years Mark had lost none of his perceptive powers when it came to understanding her. Perhaps Chakotay had not been her only hope all along. Suddenly the thought of him with Seven was bearable. It would still take time for her to adjust to this new world but, for now, it no longer felt as if the sky was collapsing in on her.

"Come on Mark. We have a party to enjoy."

—-

She had been missing for about half an hour and he was getting worried. He had glimpsed her talking to that security guy by the breakfast bar then she had accompanied him out of the room. Under normal circumstances he would not be worried. He knew all of Voyager's security detail but these HQ staff were a complete unknown. Also...he may have been imaging things but...she had seemed startled when he first spoke to her. Almost as though she either recognised him or...he had brought concerning news.

He was still Voyager's First Officer for tonight so he was about to make his way to the door and question one of the HQ men when she came back into the room. The moment she saw him she waved to grab his attention and made her way over. Still with that security officer tagging along. He was right. There was a problem.

However, as she came nearer she smiled and linked arms with the man! Before he had a chance to gather his wits Seven and Icheb were standing next to him. "Chakotay, Seven, Icheb I'd like you to meet Mark. Mark Johnson : my fiance."

With that she carried on chatting to Seven and Icheb. He was vaguely aware of shaking hands with the man and smiling but then everything seemed to fade out and happen in slow motion. It was like a bad dream. No scrap that. A terrible nightmarish scenario that Q would taunt him with. For a split second - and just that second - he tried to tell himself that is what it was. He would wake up and everything would be back to normal. Except it wouldn't. And he only had himself to blame. If he had only kept the faith; stayed loyal to their dream for three more WEEKS...that was all it would have taken for none of this to be happening.

Then he pulled himself back to the present and looked into Mark's eyes and knew. He just knew. That letter had been a fabricated 'out' for Kathryn's sake. And neither of them had seen it at the time. Because they had both wanted that particular obstacle to the possibility of them - Kathryn & Chakotay - to vanish into the recesses of time and the depths of space. Half a galaxy away. And he, fool that he was, had played right into Mark's hands.

Here was Kathryn, happily introducing Mark to the couples of Voyager. And first off himself and...Seven ...! ?

Just as he was desperately trying to think of what to say or do next. Anything to ameliorate this situation, Kathryn took Mark by the arm "Excuse us. Samantha has just arrived with baby Miral. Come on Mark, you'll get on like a house on fire with Tom and I'm dying to meet Miral." With that they were gone.

He watched from across the room, his eyes focussed on B'Elanna. Firstly her face registered surprise followed by genuine joy as she enthusiastically embraced Mark (as did Tom) and in the next instant B'Elanna was placing baby Miral in Kathryn's arms. Soon the rest of the room were drawn to the group, helped by Miral waking and giggling happily in Kathryn's arms. Mark was swamped and news was spreading that he wasn't just a regular run-of-the-mill HQ flunky.

Suddenly all he wanted was to get as far away from here as possible. He strode for the door telling Seven he was going to finish packing. She made to follow him but the expression in his eyes must have told her to forget it. She stopped, looking confused until Icheb - assessing the situation - pulled her back towards the where the Doctor was standing. Seven would be fine, which is more than he could say for himself.

He had no idea how they could salvage this situation but he would seek out his spirit guide and the voices of his ancestors. Perhaps his father or grandfather would have some sage words of wisdom for him. If ever he needed guidance : it was now.

Three days later...

The Indiana prairies in late summer. Everywhere she looked were fields brimming with golden wheat and corn. Somewhere amongst those rows of crops were two very miscreant Red Setters. She hoped that farmer Doug would make allowances for her being a little rusty with their discipline.

"Molly ! Katie !" She called out. Resorting to bribery : "Come here and get your biscuits!" That worked all right. Soon she and Mark were chasing the two dogs in circles attempting to attach their leads. She laughed out loud as she ended in a heap with both dogs on top of her slobbering away. Mark hadn't fared much better but at least he was less muddy and matted than her.

"I think something has gotten lost in translation as regards your command skills."

Mark jokingly ribbed her, gesticulating at Katie who had decided to steal the rest of the packet of biscuits and make away with it. At least Molly stuck with her though that may have more to do with her advanced age - she was thirteen now so nearing the end of her natural life - than with respect for her mistress's authority.

Kathryn retorted with "Maybe my heart wasn't in it. After all these years I think I can cut them a little slack on our first 'walkies' together again."

"Going soft in our old age are we?" Mark teased back.

She raised an arched brow at him and did her best not to smirk "Only with the dogs Mark. Remember that."

"Is that a challenge...Captain? Well now...the great Kathryn Janeway is challenging me to break through that iron will and icy reserve of hers is she?...Luckily I can still remember ways to achieve that."

And in the next instant he had her pinned to the ground and had rolled on top of her. He kissed her passionately and she found herself responding. Whatever they had had together, the essence of it was still there. Maybe...just maybe...

"Welcome home Kathryn."he finally managed when they broke apart.

She reached up to stroke his face...as she had dreamt of doing with another...but that was a different life. Now she was truly home.

"It's good to be home, Mark. It truly is."

THE END

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