I hopped on the Hogwarts Express after a quick goodbye to my parents. My parents thought I was just happy to be back at school, but the real reason was James. I hadn't seen him since school ended, and even though I had received an owl from him almost everyday, it wasn't the same as being with him, and that's what I wanted to do. I wanted to jump into his arms, throwing my arms around him and just stay there in that moment forever. He was my Everything, and I loved him with all I had.

James Potter had been my boyfriend for a year and three weeks. He was remarkable to say the least. Sure, he could be conceited or arrogant occasionally, but he'd changed for the better in the past year. He was kind-hearted with an extremely charming personality, and could be stubborn at times. He's adventurous and mischievous, always in trouble for one thing or another.

Sometimes, I really do wonder why he chose me, when he could have his pick out of any girl at school. He's popular and the seeker on the school's Quidditch team. He has jet black hair that refused to be tamed even for a moment. His pale blue eyes, which reminded me of the clear summer days we'd always spend out by the lake, are bordered by glasses. I've actually seen a few girls faint when he smiled his lopsided grin at them, but he kept his best smiles for me. He makes me melt when he whispers in my ear, his warm breath softly caressing my neck before moving away, only to be replaced by a trail of kisses. Sometimes when he holds me, my body goes limp and my knees buckle. He's the only guy that can make me feel that way.

Soon after boarding the train, I was joined by my best friend, Ada Borealis, who I followed into a compartment. Mishca De Le Reusse and Chloe Deluca, two more of my closest friends, were already in the compartment.

After a hurried hello I asked them if they'd seen James. They weren't offended in the least that I was about to rush off to see him after spending so little time with them. Ada was, of course, the first to answer me, "I saw him like ten minutes ago. He's a few compartments back on our side." She was always first to answer and first to comfort, the mother figure of our little group.

"With the goons," Chloe added, giggling. Mishca just smiled and nodded as I left, her nose in Witch's Weekly Magazine.

I couldn't stop smiling as I walked down the aisle, looking through the glass of the compartment doors, searching for James. I spotted Remus and my smile grew even wider. He looked disgusted and shocked at the same time, but I wasn't sure why until I took another step forward, bringing James into my line of vision. My smile dropped and I stood stalk still, unable to move as I stared in horror at the scene in front of my eyes.

James was snogging SabrinaBrown, a Slytherin 7th year aka Sabrina; the Teenage Bitch. Even as he kissed her I begged him silently not to, 'Please James, stop. Please, please stop! Don't do this, you mean too much to me. Please stop. James, you're ruining everything. Please don't James. Please stop. Please, please, please stop kissing her. Let go of her. Just let go and maybe you can make everything better. Please let go. Just push her away. Do it for me, James. Please, just let go of her and push her away. You have me! James, I'm right here! Stop! I don't want to see this. I don't want to watch us fall apart. Think James! Please stop and think about what you're doing! James, you're messing up everything we have! Please stop James. Please, please, please don't kiss her anymore!'

As I watched, frozen in the spot; terrified, angry, and heartbroken, Remus looked away from the kissing, too disgusted to see any more. He saw me. I gave him a pleading look and ran. I ran back to my compartment before he even had time to get out of his. I had tears streaming down my face as I opened the compartment door and leaned against it, sliding down with my head on my knees, crying and gasping for air. Chloe, Mishca, and Ada all ran to me, asking me worriedly what was wrong. I shook my head over and over again, trying to get the image out of my mind. 'How could he have done this to us- to me?'

Between gasps I managed to say, shakily, "H-he," gasp, "k-k-ki-"

"What? What happened? He, who? What did he do?" It was Mishca; she was by my side asking me frantically what had happened. Ada had a horrified look on her face; she could tell what happened, just by looking at me. I jumped up and ran to her, hugging her tightly, sobbing uncontrollably. I managed to say it all this time, calming down a little bit, "J-James kissed Mel-lissa Brown!" Everyone gasped as I said her name.

"No!" Chloe said, unbelievingly.

"Yes! I saw him! I was right there!" My speech became clearer as I stopped crying.

Ada pulled a packet of tissues from her purse and handed them to me. Taking them from her gratefully, I wiped my face off. I took deep breaths and cleaned the mascara out from under my eyes, which were slowly getting less and less red.

I still felt empty and heartbroken, but the anger was quickly taking over, masking the heart break.

James, followed by Sirius and Remus, barged into the compartment at that moment. "I can explain," Blurted James instantly.

"No," I shouted and then, quieter but just as deadly, "No, James, you can't. You are NOT going to weasel your way out. Not this time."

"Just let me-"

"I said no!" Instinctively, I smacked him hard across the jaw. I had never hit anyone before, and he knew that. He was quiet for a moment, more shocked than hurt, and I took that time to jump in.

"There is no explanation you can give that will explain what you just did to me, Potter," He winced at the sound of his last name. "I saw you in there, snogging her like there was no tomorrow."

Holding his cheek, he started to talk, "Lily, it didn't-"

"Mean anything?" I laughed dryly, "You were just snogging another girl! Of course it meant something you foul, loathsome little prat!" I spat each of the last five words out as if they had a horrid taste.

"It didn't mean anything! Nothing at all! I give you my word."

"Ha. Your word isn't worth anything to me anymore. This was all just some kind of game to you, wasn't it? Wasn't it!"

"No," he said quietly, looking shocked.

I ignored him. "I was just some trophy girl, just another name to cross off your list, right? Right!" I wanted, more than anything, for him to tell me that I was so wrong, but I didn't let him speak, "I was so stupid! I don't know why I believed all the lies you fed me about how you cared!"

"I do care," I could tell it pained him to know that I thought that, but I didn't care.

"Liar! I watched you! You kissed her the way you kiss me! That in itself shows how much you don't care! If you cared the smallest bit about me, you couldn't have been able to do this to me! You never cared, you heartless prat," I was trying to convince myself that it didn't matter, and I wasn't losing anything worth caring about.

"Please don't say that Lily. How can you think that? I care so much about you. I didn't mean to hurt you. Just give me a chance to explain," He wrapped his arms around me and I struggled to free myself. My body threatened to go limp at his touch and my heart still leaped at his touch even though I didn't want it to. But I wouldn't give up, I stomped on his foot and he backed away as I continued.

"Hurt, exactly, you hurt me, I'll admit it. You hurt me more than anyone or anything has ever hurt me before!" He looked so sincerely sorry, and it hurt me to look at him, but I did. I wouldn't give up. He cheated on me! And with that slutty, Slytherin bitch! I wanted to beat the living daylights out of her and make her bleed and cry and apologize and hurt. Even knowing that I was hurting him and knowing I was being a bitch didn't stop be as I went on, "So, give me a reason why I should stand here and listen to your lies! Why should I believe even one single word you say? I feel like everything you've ever told me has been a lie, so give me one good reason why I should let you explain!"

He stared into my eyes for a second before speaking, "Why should you let me explain? Maybe because, I regretitmore than anything I've ever done! And I want to tell you the truth, tell you everything," His voice grew louder with every sentence, "I would never EVER try to hurt you, Lils. I'd gladly feel all the pain in the world, so you wouldn't have to feel any! And because, you're the first girl I ever felt this way about! Because," realization flashed in his eyes, "Because I LOVE YOU!"

He had finally said it, it took him almost a year, but he finally told me he loved me.Unfortunately for the both of us, he was too late. Less than half an hour before, I would have been overjoyed at his words, but at that moment all they did was stab at my heart over and over again. They were just meaningless words to save a dying relationship he never cared about anyway. So why did he say them? There was complete silence, and I looked at him, shocked and hurt, thinking, "How can you say that now? How could you have done this to me?" I glared at him coldly, gathering as much cruelty in my words as I possibly could, I muttered, "Yeah right." That said I walked out. Inside, I was crying. I wanted him to fight for me, to tell me how much he needed me and not let me leave. Tell me he was an idiot, and try to hold me like he had tried a few moments before, even if he knew I wouldn't let him. I slammed the compartment door so hard that the glass broke and shattered. I laughed dryly, watching it happen, all the while thinking, "Ironic- that's what my heart's doing"