A/N: Yeah I got into an angsty mood this weekend, because certain school board cancled to Eurotrip that we were planning for April because they didn't want us to be missing class time. This news comming to someone who had been saving up for this trip since last October. I mean come on! Anyways, this is how I'm venting. Creatively of course and for the enjoyment of whoever reads it and likes it. It's okay if you don't either though, I won't care. they just better let us go on that trip... And the stupid internet browser didn't let me post this right before! Sorry Aevany...
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They despise me...
They hate my very existence. I sicken them more than any living cat would be able to. I can see it in their eyes. Jellylorum, Bombalurina, Old Deuteronomy, everyone, they can't hide what they feel for me. Nobody can hide it. They never could, and though they try, they never succeed.
I was born into this tribe and from that day forward I was a monstrosity. A reincarnation of the devil, himself, I heard them say before. They didn't want to accept me, but by Jellicle law they cannot abandon me from the tribe. They must wait until I commit a horrible deed and must be punished for my crime. That's why they are always watching me. They are watching and waiting for that crime to be committed so that they can point the fingers to me and blame everything on me and cast me out.
All I have wanted since kitten-hood was acceptance. To be loved, like all the other kittens, like a kitten should be loved. I didn't asked to be treated differently - quite the opposite. I never wanted to be different, and to be treated coldly or distantly. Couldn't they see that I wanted nothing more than to be loved by them? That I just wanted to love them and feel loved myself?
That word has lost all meaning to me now. What is love to me now? They never let me feel love, or experience love. I wasn't allowed to. They kept me from loving them. They kept me from loving a queen. They kept me from any form of love they shared. Love, now, is just a word. A word that has no meaning in reality, but that everyone believes symbolizes a peculiar feeling for somebody else. Love has no meaning at all.
If they cannot learn to love me or accept me as one of them then they shall learn to hate and fear me even more. I have tolerated them long enough and will not take this abuse from them anymore. But I will not let them forget. I will not let them forget everything that they have done to me, or how they had treated me. They will not be let go so easily. They will pay for all they have done. Every last one of those Jellicles shall pay by the paws of Macavity.
Macavity... There shall be no other like me. No other name shall strike fear into more hearts. No other name shall be known all throughout London. Everyone shall know who I am. And those who ask for forgiveness shall receive none.
They will pay...