She was tired, alone and scared. This was her only chance to get away, and yet for some reason she was not sure she could get away with this. after all, her entire life she had always tried to play by the rules, do her homework, and never question her parents.

But now, at the age of 14, Mary Donnelly was starting to realize that she indeed had questions, that some things about her life just did not make sense.

She was not like her school mates, not that was necessarily a bad thing. Everyone else around her, they were so serious, so detemined to get ahead at school; they were already planning for their futures..where they would go to school, what career paths they would take, what they would name their future children.

Not Mary. All she tried to do was to make everyone around her laugh. The teachers, they didnt care for her much. She was a fool, they said. She didnt take school seriously, and no man would ever respect her enough to marry her.

She should try to fit in, and not make waves, her guidence counselor told her on many occasions.

And yet, Mary laughed. Better yet, she loved to look for the funny side of life...if she couldn't laugh, then what was the point of living?

Especially when she faced at home such a bad situation.

One day her dad's poker buddy Mike made a remark about Mary's developing breasts. After the game was over and all of his friends went home. Mary's dad slapped her and told her not to be such a little tease in front of his friends.

Omce Mary had started her period, her own mother locked her in her bedroom for a week with only some dry cereal to eat. It was Mary's fault, her mom had told her..only loose girls would "make themselves bleed" for attention.

So it was no wonder that instead of paying attention in health class when the students were being taught about hygiene, sex, and the reproductive process, Mary actually vomitted.

She was being expelled, and as she waited nervously for her mother to arrive, Mary realized that this was her oppotunity to explain herself, to apologize, to try anything to stay in school.

As much as a drag school could be, the alternative was much, much worse.

And so Mary told the principal everything...that she hated her home life and that was why she tried to have fun at school. She just wanted everyone to be happy since she always hated all the fighting her parents did.

The prncipal nodded; "I see" was his only response.

For a minute it seemed like someone might inderstand her, that someone would see the truth..that she wasnt a bad girl at all.

The principal excused himself for a few minutes, and he returned...and Mary's parents were with him, scowling at her.

Mary felt sick. She wasn't sure what would come of this, but she knew it would not be good.

Little did she know just how bad her life was about to get. and also unknown to her was that fate was about to take the most unexpected twist that she could have ever happened.

And the path towards her fate began the minute Mary was dropped off at Brookhaven reformatory for the mentally incapacitated.

Mary was not even fifteen years old , and her parents just dropped her off at a mental institution.

At first she tried to tell the doctors that she was not crazy... that she didnt belong there. But as with the school, no one ever listened to her.

She would try to tell the shrinks what her story was, but instead of listening to her they just gave her medicine. An awful lot of medicine.

In between her coherent moments...which were, frankly, more often than not, Mary would pray. She had never had anyone listen to her, to try to see her point of view, who would listen without judgement. But as the lonely days of solitude, playing solitaire with a deck of cards ( at this point her only worldly possession), Mary slowly began to give up on that dream. Empathy and wisdom seemed very much like a lost cause.

Eventually she came out of her room, but didn't dare make friends. She played cards, and these playing cards were very worn out, but they were her only friends in the world.

So she tried diguring out new ways to use those cards...quickly she figured out how to manipulate them, to make them disappear and reappear. but she would never, ever show anyone. Those cards were the only reminder shd had of her former life..in fact, all she had to wear were the samd worn out pair of pajamas the hospital charity had given her. Not even her parents came to visit her..not even once.

One day she was lost in the newest card game she was teaching herself, and she didnt even see that she now had company at her table.

"Say, that's a neat game you're playing."

Mary did not even look up. "Get lost."

"Gee. I was already lost and was kind of hoping you would tell me where I am." The young man jovially responded.

Now annoyed, Mary looked up. "Look, pal.."

"My name's not pal.."

"Okay, buddy," she retorted. "Whatever it is you're selling, I ain't buying.."

"Whew! What a relief! I left my money at home!"

Mary was ready to verbally attack this stranger, but when she looked at him a few things caught her attention.

First of all, he wore a fedora atop his head. No one their age wore hats. That was odd enough.

Then she was taken aback by his goofy smile. she had been rather rude to him, and still he smiled at her..

Then there were his eyes. His eyes looked kind, if that were possible. Not that she had ever experienced anyone looking at her with anything resemblance of kindness. But this kid was. And strangely, she did not mind it. In fact, it was almost comforting.

"Look, man.." she started.

"Buddy," he interrupted

"Your name is Buddy? What kind of name is that?"

"You tell me. You're the one who called me that." then young man continued to smile at her.

"You're strange..you know that, right?" Mary looked at him.

"I used to get that a lot. But I'm feeling much better now!"

Even Mary couldn't help but laugh. That was the first time she had laughed in months. And to tell the truth, she kind of liked laughing.

"What kind of nifty game are you playing? " Buddy inquired.

"Nothing. Some dumb game I made up. "

"That's the neatest thing I ever saw!"

Mary looked up at him. "You don't get out much, do you?"

Ever smiling, Buddy shook his head. "Can I watch you play your game?"

Mary nodded . " Just don't touch anything, okay, Buddy?"

"Well, my hamburger is getting cold. But I don't mind."

In spite of herself, Mary laughed again. " You should eat that before the rats get to it."

"That is the best piece of advice I ever heard." Buddy grinned as he bit into his lunch.

"What's your story ,Buddy? Why'd your parents bring you here anyways?"

"I don't really know. I guess I must be sick. My pop dropped me off last night and told me I need a whole lot of doctors."

Mary looked at him cautiously. She just nodded her head. "Well, I hope you feel much better soon."

And with that chance meeting, Mary's story was about to get even more interesting.

Slowly but surely Mary started coming out of her room more. Whatsmore, she not only tolerated Buddy's presence at her table as she ate and worked on her card tricks, she looked forward to seeing him. Though different regiments of medicine caused Mary severe difficulties most days, it seemed like the part of Mary that liked to make people happy-the part of her that loved an audience- was still very much alive and well. The only time that side of her came alive was when she was around Buddy. He was simple and did not ask questions..most importantly. he listened to Mary.

Throughout the better part of the next year, Mary found herself growing more and more attatched to Buddy's presence. And furthermore..as they both advanced into their midteens, she noticed more and more how attractive he was. It wasn't long at all before they became unseperable.

Soon after the staff retreated for the night, Mary found herself crying every night. She missed her home. even though it was a poor excuse of a home.

On top of her medications she found herself crying, laughing, increasingly frustrsted with her life. her parents had all but abandoned her.

One night, Mary woke up in another crying spell, and she had never felt so alone in her life. So carefully, she snuck out of her room and knocked on Buddy's door.

Naturally he was stunned to see her. Before he could ask her any questions, she wrapped her arms around him and kissed him.

It was the first kiss for the both of them.

It led to the first sexual encounter for the both of them.

It was, most importantly, the first time either of them experienced true and genuine love.

That night was also the night a future judge of a Manahatten municpal building was concieved.

Afterwards, Buddy touched Mary's face. "Are you okay?"

She looked at him. "Well, I was having a really bad night. I felt all alone and I was scared..of everything, really."

"Gee, I am awfully sorry to hear that."

"Don't be sorry, Buddy. I was feeling bad...but I'm feeling much better now '"

And so he smiled that unique smile of his. which always made Mary feel happy

And they laughed and loved until the morning lights appeared.

And they spent every night together from then on out, sometimes reading, sometimes listening to Buddy's favorite singer, Mel Torme, on the radio. they were there together and Mary knew she couldn't imagine her life with anyone else.

Until the day her parents finally came back for her.

She was pregnant, and needless to say her parents were quite upset.

"Come on, Mary. You're coming home with us right now." Her father yanked Mary's arm away from the table, causing her to drop her deck of cards. Up until then, Mary had been having a usual day of entertaining Buddy with the magic tricks she'd been teaching herself.

"No! I am not leaving here! You can't make me lelave here!" Mary cried and screamed as the doctors arrived with a wheelchair and a straightjacket.

"Mary. It will be okay." Buddy spoke up. ,I will get out soon and I will find you. I promise!"

Mary's father confronted Buddy. "You have done enough damage. the doctors told me all about you. Youre nuttier than A Christmas fruitcase!"

"But I'm feeling much better now!" Buddy proclaimed, to no avail.

"Daddy, no! I love Buddy! I cant live without him! I love him!" Mary cried as she was fitted with the straightjacket.

"You won't be living with him or with that bastard child he created. Come along, Mary," her mother said without any trace of emotion.

"Baby? What the hell are you talking about?" Mary cintinied to struggle.

"I dont know about a baby, but I love your daughter. I will take good care of her. I will marry her and provide for her.."Buddy held on to Mary's hand.

" You will do no such thing. You couldn't take care of a rock. The only thing you are going to do is to stay the hell away from our daughter and grandchild. Come on..lets go," Mary's father ordered

"Buddy!" Mart cried repeatedlyuntil he could no longer hear her calling out his name." I love you Buddy! I love you!"

And then she was gone.

A staff member approached Buddy. "You okay?"

With tears in his eyes, Buddy shook his head. "I'm going to go lay down. I don't..I dont feel so well."

And he didnt know if he would ever feel better again.

oooooooo

The next six months of Mary's pregnancy were hell. Not only was she physically sick but her parents yelled at her, scolding her and shaming her constantly.

When they weren't yelling at Mary, they were arguing with each other. it was like she was living in a war zone.

she had nowhere to go

She would just be 16 when the baby arrived. She was terrified..of giving birth..of bringing a baby into the world that she couldnt provide for..Most of all she worried about bringing her child into her world of fighting, hating and hitting.

At night she would turn on the radio, listen to Mel Torme and cry for Buddy. she hadnt heard a word from him..she worried if he was all right. if he was safe. if he had any family to care for him.

Most of all she missed him.

month before the baby was due, Marys parents took her to a courtroom. It was there that they intoduced her to Samuel Stone.

It took her completely by surprise when her father told her she was to marry Samuel.

"I don't want to marry him. I love Buddy."

"Buddy is dead. i talked to the hospital," Mary's mother lied. "Samuel comes from a good family. His father is a professor. You'll have a decent name."

Mary was in such a state of shock she went through the motions of this arranged marriage. all the while she thought of how Buddy had been the only person to make her smile, and she didn't think she would ever, eblver smile again.

And then the baby arrived. When Mary held her son for the first time, she was overwhelmed by just how much she loved this child.

He was tiny, he was beautiful..and he was all hers.

She was in the hosptail with the baby for a whole weekm

Samuel was a kind man, a decent man...

...but he was't Buddy.

Away from her sham marriage and her abusive family , Mary took in every second she could with this beatiful boy.

She turned on the radio and listned until she heard a Mel torme song play.

And ever so softly she sang along, stoppimg only to kiss her baby boy.

Harold. Harold Thomas Stone was the baby's name and she loved him with all of her heart.

"I dont know why life has to be so hard," she kissed baby Harry. " It cant always be this way. Sometimes life is just..well..its hard. But you.." she smiled and kissed him. " Your'e different You're special. You are kind and gentle and you will always know right from wrong. You will help other people..I just know that. Rememember that life is really really hard and some of us just need a friend to talk to. Someone who will listen. Someone who will always be kind. Most of all, my beautiful Harry, people are always going to need someone to care. Show this world that you care. Harry. Do it for me. Do it for Buddy."

Just then the nurse came in to take the baby to the nursery. " How are you doing, Mary? Youre awfully young to go through all of this.

"Well, I'm not going to lie. It hurt a lot and I was awfully scared." Mary lookes at Harry and smiled. "But I'm feeling much better now."

ooooooo

They didnt know much about. postpartum depression or PSTD back then.

All everyone around Mary saw was that she was not getting any better. She tried so hard to be strong for her child, but it gradually all became too much for her.

She would spent so much time in her roon crying, and Samuel would wonder why she didnt know how to take care of her son.

it all came to a boiling point one night when Harry, age 4, almost caught the house on fire while Mary was asleep in her bedroom.

it was then that Samuel knew that for Harry's sake, Mary would have to be institutionized once again.

it was almost six months of solitude for Mary at the hospital...no one came to see her. she was drugged up most of the time.

One day she was surprised to wake up and she saw a deck of playing cards on her nightstand.

it took weeks for her to stabilize but one day she picked up the cards. she would lose what was left of her mind if she didnt stop thinking about how she was a failure of a mother.

And one day she had a visitor. At first she thought she was hallucinating.

But this was no hallucination.

He was there. Buddy was there and he was quite real.

He stood there just smiling at her.

"Buddy? I thought..I was told you were dead!" Mary stammered indisbelief.

"That is news to me! Maybe I was..it felt like I was...But I'm feeling much better now!"

it was the hardest thing Mary ever had to do..when she signed over her rights to Harry over to Samuel... she felt like she was dying.

But she knew she was messed up. And she knew she would never be able to give Harry the kind of care he deserved, as much as she so badly wanted to.

After discussing it with Samuel and Buddy, Mary never cried as much as she did the last time she kissed her little boy.

Mary went on to marry Buddy..and although the both struggled, they were as happy as they could be as long as they had each other.

OOOOOOOOO

"Did Dad ever see his mom again?" Charlie, referring to whom was technically his stepfather, asked his mother.

Christine, reeling from the unexpected loss of her husband, the Honorable Judge Harold T. Stone, wiped her eyes. "She stayed in touch with Samuel. She kept tabs on your dad's career. I think she even went to the courtroom and watched some of his sessions," she sniffed. "She loved him, Charlie. Not everyone has an easy life."

"That courtroom..was it the same one you met Dad in? Charlie asked. He knew the answer, but he also knew how much his mom loved Harry, and how badly she was grieving. She just needed someone to listen to her..and his stepdad had taught him just how to do that.

"Yes..the same one. and our friends..our coworkers..they will be here any minute now to pay respects to him. They loved Harry. We all loved Harry." You don't remember much about your Grandpa Buddy...but he was there when I gave birth to you."

"In the elevator?" Charlie laughed.

"Yes...only back then he wasn't your grandpa. I was still trying to make things work with your real dad." Christine wiped her face. "Do you hate me ..that I couldn't make it work with Tony?"

"Mom, it takes two to make a marriage work. sometimes they just don't work no matter how much the couple wants it to."

Christine smiled at her son. "How did you get so mart?"

"I take after my mom. And my dad Harry," Charlie smiled, and he and his mom embraced.

"I sure loved Harry.."Christine sighed sadly.

"I did too, Mom. I did too. And in spite of him not having a mom a round..it says a lot about him that he turned out so well. And that he loved me like his own...I'm sure going to miss Dad." Charlie choked up.

"Me too, son. We are all going to miss him. He made us all laugh. He was the friend we always wanted, he was the cool kid who was friends with everyone he met. I just.." And Christine began to cry again.

"Thank you,Harry. " And she pulled Harry's well worn robe and held it close to her chest, never wanting to let go.

And so Charlie wrapped his arm around his mother and let her cry.

This was a sad day for not just his mom but for his dad's friends as well.Dan, Bull, Roz, they had attended Harry's service and would be arriving at Christine's for a memorial dinner any time now.

and as Harry's closest friends and loved ones reunited, despite their very different personality types, they all had agreed on one thing...

Their world ..and their lives...were all a little better off for having known Harry. Just as what he had wanted it to be. And just how Mary wanted her son to be known for.

and the courtroom antics and sessions were adjourned for the very last time

the end