Warning. spoilers. Also I do not own Mass Effect 3 or its characters. If I did, I could assure you a better written ending than that dull copy-paste shit that they gave us.
"So what is your choice Shepard?" The small virtual child asked after I remained silent for a few minutes. He gazed at me expectantly, as though I could come up with the answer right at that very second. As though I had not just been through hell and was currently in a haze of mind numbing pain. Stupid brat.
"…..they're all equally bad." I felt myself reply, gazing intently at the three options before me. I didn't bother to look at the Catalyst as he replied with a quiet "Yes."
"So, nothing I choose will help my crew."
"That is correct."
"Everything is destroyed in some form or another." I continued to gently prod, even though I already knew the answer. The little annoying electronic demon spawn confirmed my suspicions.
"Basically." He replied, in the corner of my eye I could make out his intense gaze still upon me, as though confused as why I was asking these self evident questions. Still, I did not bother to waste my energy glancing fully at him.
"And….I die like a punk in each huh?"
"….no comment." I couldn't help but laugh sardonically at his response. Of course. Why did I even bother asking? After another moment of silence the virtual child added in an almost muted whisper, "Well, you do have the choice of which color explosion you like." This time I couldn't help but turn my full attention to the child right next to me.
'Well that's just dandy flipping great, I have three options with basically no difference besides the explosion color.' I cursed inwardly. With an aggravated sigh, I tried to keep myself from hitting the child. It wouldn't make any difference. It would just pass right through, just like my bullets. "How do I choose then?" I grounded out, my eyes glaring hatefully at the blue brat.
"Well…. " He was silent for a moment while he thought about how to answer my question. Finally he looked towards me, the serious expression never melting from his face. "What's your favorite color?"
"Ohh….. you can't be serious….. So this big choice which you claim is "more than I deserve" is the choice to choose what color my explosion should be." I. HATE. YOU. DEMON. CHILD.
"Your point?" I felt my teeth grinding to the point where I was sure I would no longer have any teeth left.
"Fine, I'll play….hmmmmmm…..can I combine option one and two to make purple?"
"No."
"Okay, how about if I-"
"No."
"What if I –"
"No." We stared at each other for several long moments until finally I couldn't tack it any longer. With another sigh, I slowly turned around and started back the way I came. My body was brimming with pain and I had a massive headache pounding at my skull.
"Where are you going?" He asked from behind me. I didn't bother to stop or turn around as I answered with a snide snarl.
"To find a drink. If the fate of the galaxy rests on which color explosion I like the best I don't see any reason why I should remain sober."
Author's note. I've read the spoilers for Mass Effect 3. Looked up everything I could find. And honestly this is basically my reaction about this load of crap, copy and paste ending. I picked the title, "THE COLOR GREEN KILLED MY FAMILY!" because to me it makes about as much sense as the stupid freaking logic at the end of the game. As what one glorious picture on facebook basically says; "Reapers...machines that kill organics, so that organics don't make machines that kill organics." Freaking Brilliant BioWare. Bloody Freaking Brilliant. I love tragic endings, I really do. However, I also like narratives that are well written. Mass Effect is about choice, and the only choice you gave us here was to decide which color should ping pong across the galaxy. Oh choices, choices. If you're one of the many disappointed fans out there, here are some web links that might interest you. Sorry for any mistakes in grammar or anything of the sort. Now excuse me while I continue to seethe.
.com/633606/polls/28989/
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.com/watch?v=sdum0dC3eDc