Preface
I knew that this was only temporary. She couldn't live – or rather exist – like this for long. It just wasn't
possible. So…she was trying very hard, but she was doing it just for her and then of course for us – her children.
In her place I would do it as well – I would do it for my child, for my Renesmee, but only if I knew that such
agony - as to live without him - would end one day, when she was old enough to cope without me. When there
would be someone to take care of her. And so she was waiting, grieving and trying to forget at least for a tiny
moment while she knew – as we all knew – that it was impossible.
...
It again made me wonder whether or not there is a God and heaven and if there is something like soul inside of
us. Edward was always a bit skeptical about it but I think now he wishes more than ever before that there was.
And me too. I just wish so badly that we have soul and that there is a chance of being in heaven after our
existence ends. I'm trying to appease myself that if there is a God than he has to be merciful. And if he is
merciful then he had to gone to heaven. Because in my entire life and after it I met just one person I was
absolutely sure he belonged there. And it was him…