Ten Reasons Why

by Blood and Snow

By Rachel Dawes, made for you jerks at Arkham. This is my diary that's supposed to help me cope. But, you see, I've already coped. These are the ten reasons why being captured by the Joker is BENEFICIAL and not NEGATIVE. You're all such gullible saps.

My Introduction to My Forced Diary and to Those Who Should Know Me, But Don't, And Will Soon Find Who I Am...

To: Dr. Quinzel, my unfortunate "helper," the rest of the Arkham Asylum staff, and to Jeremiah, the founder.

2/07/09

Rachel Dawes is the name and being the slutty assistant DA is the game...

Actually, not really. It's just that, usually, that's what I'm depicted as. The degrading to women, workaholic (in that way, hint-hint), whorish shrew.

But, buried beneath the lie is the irrevocable truth. I was born in a small town, somewhere near the very edge of Wisconsin and then, I was continued to be raised and nurtured in Gotham City, which is indeed not near Wisconsin, but near New York. In fact, some even mistake it for that very same state and that very same large city, the famous Big Apple. But, no, it is not.

I was taught how to behave in a ladylike fashion and that Rosie the Riveter was a very important role model. I received my first kiss at fifteen and proceeded on from there, experiencing new things, like that, but not exactly sexually and more so intellectually.

And then, well, then is where my story truly begins. My little keepsake journal this stupid and arrogant building with you insignificant people in those tacky white get-ups tell me is for the CRIMINALLY INSANE, which, inevitably, I'm not, is making me write about. My journey with the one man who should be here instead.

But he isn't.

Oh well. At least, now, I can tell the truth.

Or, the truth being as truthful as I'd like it to be.

Because, the Joker here is really the one to blame for my mental stability. He captured me and made me think in ways I'd only seen on Law & Order and witnessed, hands on/personally, in court.

And, really, this journal isn't about me, though you'd like it to be. It's about the man with the purple suit, scars, and makeup to cover up the horror.

But, to your utter dismay, this collection is the positive side of being his hostage. Sorry. :D

Yours Truly, as I Mentioned Before,

Rachel Dawes, Assistant "Death Assembler."

P.S. Maybe you could let me use a computer instead? My writing, as I have previously noticed, gets sloppier as I go along.

P.P.S. You won't regret it.

P.P.P.S. I hate you all.

P.P.P.P.S. Unless you get me that computer.

My intro. ends here and my first out of ten reasons why being the Joker's hostage is a good experience is near.