Here is another parody from all of us! This story will be chapters, due to it being very long! Go view our RPG forum to read more if you unsatisfied with the chapters coming slowly. It takes a while to copy and paste to a different document...
Anyways, Sesshoumaru, Inuyasha, Kagura, Rin [old account], Kagome, and Kikyou are in this chapter. Go view our profile to see who is who. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: WE do not own Inuyasha. All characers belong to Rumiko Takahashi.
Sesshoumaru and Inuyasha were throwing a small get-together at their house. Since the entertainment never showed up, Inuyasha took it upon himself to be the show-off. Now, Sesshoumaru watched with his golden eyes glazed over with boredom. He stifled a yawn as Inuyasha tried to impress his girlfriend, Kagome with another magic trick. Every once in a while, he would turn towards Kagura, wondering how she was reacting towards his brother's "show."
God this is boring. Kagura thought as she watched InuYasha's horrid magic tricks. "Dear lord he sucks," the red-eyed woman said to her boyfriend as she looked at the so called "Magic show".
"Just why are we watching this?" she pressed in a whisper as she wrapped her arms around Sesshoumaru's single arm.
"I'm wondering the same thing, myself..." Sesshoumaru whispered back to her. "There's not much to do around here though."
"I can think of a few things," she whispered back in her ear as she kissed his neck playfully. "Come on, lets just go upstairs and forget about these two."
Inuyasha was unsure of how to impress Kagome, but she seemed to be humoring his feeble attempts to entertain her. But as he was getting another trick to show them, mostly her, he could hear Sesshoumaru's response, the boredom written over his face. Fine...I'll show that idiot..."Okay...for my next performance, I'll need a volunteer." And totally ignoring Kagome's hand, bent on revenge, looked at Sesshoumaru. "Sesshoumaru, get your ass up here."
Sesshoumaru glared at his brother, not feeling all that willing to take part in his stupid tricks. "I'd much rather stay out of the spotlight at the moment..." he said, trying to be polite, but not looking the part. He wondered if Inuyasha had overheard his and Kagura's conversation.
"I said...get your ass up here, my volunteer!" Inuyasha grabbed him and yanked him to his feet and into a chair that magically appeared out of no where.
"Hey I was busy with him," Kagura growled as she glowered at InuYasha. God why did he have to be such a pain when she was just about to get into some fun with Sesshoumaru.
Oh, great. So now Inuyasha found himself to possess some skill of magic! Sesshoumaru suppressed a growl as he managed to maintain his balance at the last minute. "This better be a good waste of my time..." he murmured to his brother.
"And here I thought I was the only good waste of your time Sesshoumaru," Kagura jeered as she looked at the pair. Even though she was a bit annoyed at the loss of her leaning-post, the woman was mildly interested at this magic trick.
"Keh, just shut up and be quiet." Inuyasha scoffed, irritated with Sesshoumaru's attitude. He rummaged through his bag of tricks when he pulled out a certain "trick" and grinned.
Before he "listened" to his brother, he turned back around to Kagura and replied to her. "Kagura, there's a difference between a waste of time and spending time with someone you like being in company with." He rotated himself back around to face his brother, whom he knew would be even more irritated by his remark.
She sat back, satisfied with the man's remark, and watched the scene as it began to unfold. This was going to be amusing, and if InuYasha did something too stupid Sesshoumaru would just throttle the man.
Inuyasha growled and opened the cap of the "trick" glue and poured it onto Sesshoumaru's hand. He turned around, looking for the fuzzy glove that he had spotted earlier and noticed it a few feet away from him. Inuyasha snatched it and headed back when his foot snagged on a cord, causing the hanyou to fall forward, his hand landing on Sesshoumaru's.
The glue covered one.
Sesshoumaru felt the glue and glove and was already pissed by the obvious prank. However, once Inuyasha tripped over him and knocked him over, he was prepared to say something. "Get off of me!" he growled, feeling the full weight of his brother on him. He tried to pull his hand away from the one stuck to his only hand. To his utter disbelief, neither hands would budge! "What hell is this?" Sesshoumaru roared, knocking Inuyasha up by both the power of his strength and anger.
"Dammit, Sesshoumaru!" Inuyasha growled as if his falling down was Sesshoumaru's fault. Inuyasha attempted to get away from his brother but found it impossible. "Let go of my hand, you homo!" Inuyasha spat.
"I have to say something very different on that issue," Kagura stated on InuYasha's verbal attack on her boyfriend. "Anyways you're the one who grabbed his hand. If anyone is a homo here, it's you," she taunted further.
Inuyasha was pushing his luck with Sesshoumaru's remaining patience. "Inuyasha... you were the one who fell on me. I don't see how this is any of my doing," he snarled. "I'd love to let go of your hand but they seem to be stuck."Glaring at his brother, he asked, "Any reason why?"
"Stuck?" Inuyasha blinked as if he just comprehended the situation and tugged on his hand. "This shouldn't be that stuck...it's just trick glue!" Inuyasha tugged harder, trying to free himself from Sesshoumaru's hand
Sesshoumaru tried his hand at tugging and knew that if they continued, skin would be ripped off. "Obviously, this isn't trick glue," he snarled, wanting to hit his brother but knew that since he had no other hand to use, he was useless at performing that towards Kagura, he asked her, "Could you go and look at the label of the glue that my idiot brother used on me?"
"Fine," she sighed as she walked over and picked up the bottle. As she looked at the bottle, the young woman burst out laughing, almost dropping the bottle in the process. "Sesshoumaru, you may want to kill your brother," the ebony haired woman chuckled.
Sesshoumaru did not like the sound of that news. "Kagura, what is it?" he demanded, not in the mood for being amused.
As Kagura regained her composure from laughing she read off of the bottle, "Industrial Strength Crazy Glue. Warning, If this glue comes in contact with your skin do not touch anything and call the emergency number located on the bottom of the bottle immediately." Taking a pause she continued reading, "To remove glue Industrial Solvent is needed." she finished looking at the two men.
Sesshoumaru's eyes narrowed into slits of ice towards his brother. He tried to move his arm in an attempt to punch his brother, but failed due to Inuyasha having to move at the same time in order for it to work."Inuyasha..." he snarled. "When we get this glue off of us, I will take my time killing you."
Sango couldn't hold in her laughter anymore, she had seen the look on Inuyasha's face, as he picked up the glue and reached for the furry glove. It was an evil prank, but a rather funny one. But the only problem was that it backfired with nasty suddenly a very hentai-ish though raced through her mind - having spent far too much time with her fiancé were they going to spend romantic nights with their girlfriends? They'd kill each other before they each had a chance to kiss them good night, or worse how would they use the washrooms?
Sango could not contain her laughter as she giggled from the mental images that appeared in her mind.
"Man that's harsh!" Koga stated as he too chuckled at the poor conditions "I feel very sorry for you Sesshoumaru being around dog breath all day...yo Inuyasha I'll take care of Kagome whilst your pre-occupied with your older brother" he stated as he advanced towards Kagome, a large grin on his face.
Inuyasha began to dial the number for the industrial solvent, not caring that Sesshoumaru was stuck to him at the moment. Like hell I'll let Kouga have Kagome! Was the only thing that went through his mind as he waited for someone to pick up on the other line.
Sesshoumaru glared at Sango, who like Kagura, thought it was pure hilarity. Although, for Kouga, he had to agree with him. He only had to live with his brother; not be attached to him! "Let's hope that they're not out of service for the day..." he trailed off, trying to calm himself.
"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN "CLOSED FOR THE HOLIDAYS"?! I'M STUCK TO THIS JERK YOU STUPID MACHINE!" Inuyasha roared over the phone, slamming it down and it smashed into pieces.
"Good going," Sesshoumaru growled. "Now we need to buy a new phone..." He started to stand up, tugging on his brother's arm so that he would stand with him. "Now, we're stuck to each other for the next few days, unless, of course, you want your arm chopped off...?"
"Why don't we just chop off your arm so you can finally be symmetrical, you one arm freak!" Inuyasha retorted, glaring at his brother as he stood, still trying to free himself.
"I'd rather prefer to still be have the upper hand in this family," Sesshoumaru scoffed. Sesshoumaru stopped bothering to break himself free of the glue. He knew that it was pointless.
"Well there has to be another way to get the glue off!" Inuyasha insisted, still trying to free himself.
"Besides with the solvent?" Sesshoumaru asked. "What would you rather do other than chopping off limbs?" Pausing, he came up with an idea. "We could always go to the hospital..."
"Keh, what could a hospital do for us?!" Inuyasha snapped, not liking the idea of going to a hospital. "There should be something, some household stuff, that can work!"
"And you'd risk burning our skin off as well?" Sesshoumaru pointed out. "At such a rate, we'd have to go to a hospital." Sesshoumaru wanted to roll his eyes. "With your lack of reading skills, you might pick out rat poison instead of any normal cleaner."
Inuyasha's anger flared and a growl rippled through his throat. "Shut up, Sesshoumaru! I still have one hand left you idiot! And that's all I need to kick your ass!"
"Who said anything about me needing to use my arm to put you in your place?" Sesshoumaru mused, feeling slightly amused by Inuyasha's anger.
"Bring it on then, girly man!" Inuyasha growled, ready to fight.
Sesshoumaru sighed. "You still don't get it, do you?" he asked his brother. "If you hit me, or if I injure you, we both fall over." Shaking his head, he continued. "No, I'd much rather not risk being misinterpreted for being into incest." He mentally cringed.
"Keh, you sicko, you're just scared that I'll beat your ass this time!" Inuyasha scoffed, still glaring at him.
"Okay, then, Inuyasha," Sesshoumaru sighed. "See if you can hit me without knocking the two of us over." He smirked. "I'll even let you have a free hit."
"I do have quite the idea," Kagura said as she walked out from the kitchen, holding up a bottle of bleach. "I say that we pour this on your hands and see if that works. If not, then we use this," she said holding up a meat cleaver in the other hand. "I for one do not like sharing, especially when its my man."
Sesshoumaru raised his eyebrow at Kagura's suggestion at using a meat cleaver. Didn't they just over cutting off each other's limbs?
Inuyasha paled, stepping backwards. "I-It isn't like I wanna be stuck to him, but I rather keep my skin and arm intact!" He had totally forgotten about his argument with Sesshoumaru.
Kagura walked closer to the pair, holding the clever in the air. "Then next time think about your stupid plans before you enact them!" she snared as she swung the blade down, nicking InuYasha's wrist. "I ought to chop the whole arm off you know," she said, waving the blade in the hanyou's face.
Sesshoumaru mentally cringed again. He reminded himself not to ever piss Kagura off.
"Ow, you stupid bitch!" Inuyasha snarled, glaring at Kagura, forgetting his anger with Sesshoumaru and once again, took a few steps back and away from Kagura. "Control your psychotic girlfriend, Sesshoumaru!"
Sesshoumaru shook his head. Inuyasha shouldn't have called Kagura those names... "Kagura," he spoke. "Please be careful of where you swing that thing. I still want this arm in tact."
It was insanity. Absolute she was just trying desperately not to burst out laughing at her poor InuYasha."Kagura, please," she said, speaking up for the first time, "I'd really like to keep InuYasha as injury-free as possible."
Hearing both Sesshoumaru and Kagome's words made Kagura sigh. "Fine," she scoffed. "You two can just stay stuck like this." She placed the cleaver down, glaring at the brothers irritably.
Kagome smiled sweetly, letting out an mental sigh of relief. Kagura and meat cleavers never did quite mix."InuYasha, I'm sure we'll find a way to get you two... er, detached." Kagome began, coming to stand beside the two, "But wouldn't you both just heal if you tore off skin, since both of you seem to impatient to wait a couple days for the Holidays to be over?"
"I don't like hospitals...and we might have to go to the hospital if we tear of the skin...especially with this glue..." Inuyasha shook his hand, not liking the idea of sitting in a white room. A very cold, white room.
"InuYasha, you're a big baby," Kagome said, with a roll of her eyes, "I see no logic in your fear of hostpitals..."
Sesshoumaru gave a small snort at Inuyasha's reply. "You haven't liked hospitals ever since the pickle jar incident several years ago," he told his brother.
The memory caused Inuyasha to go into a mental state of terror for a brief moment. "Don't bring up that event ever again, Sesshoumaru!"Not only did he hate hospitals...he hated jars...and pickles.
Sesshoumaru shook his head at Inuyasha's evident fear of pickles.
Rin found the entire situation particularly unsettling. She had just been minding her own business, playing with the cat, when all of a sudden her lord and his brother had begun to fight. Now they were talking about chopping arms off, and didn't like it one bit."Why can't you just have a truce?" she said, tilting her head as she looked at Sesshoumaru. "I don't want you to hurt your arm..."
"Keh, a truce with that jerk? No way!" Inuyasha refused, glaring at the ground.
She sighed a little, shaking her head."Maybe you're right..." She knew how they didn't like each other. Suddenly, she looked up with a bright smile. Digging in her pocket, she brought out a crisp, dill pickle, and held it out to the hanyou. "I found it," she giggled, smiling. "It tastes good. If I give it to you, will you make a truce?"She hadn't heard much of the prior conversation.
Sesshoumaru sighed, shaking his head. "Rin, please put that away," he warned the girl. He didn't want to be held responsible for Inuyasha's actions. For all he knew, the poor sap would run away, dragging him along for the ride.
Inuyasha paled instantly, looking even more terrified than when Kagura held the meat cleaver and took off into the other room, taking Sesshoumaru with him. "You told her, didn't you?!" He snapped at his brother, his body quaking all over.
Rin could only blink in confusion when her lord was dragged away."Did...I make him angry...?" She looked down at the pickle with new awareness - but no matter how she turned it, she couldn't see what had inspired such a reaction in Inuyasha. Rin had thought there might have been a bee on it, but there was nothing to be found. It was just a plain old pickle. "Aww..." She was so confused.
Sesshoumaru resisted the urge to hit his brother for dragging his body away behind him like an overturned sword. He did, however, want to snicker at the way his brother reacted. To think that the "badass" Inuyasha feared pickles as much as death, itself! However, due to the seriousness of the situation, he did not react.
"Put that pickle away, dammit! Kagome make her put it away!" Inuyasha shouted from the other room, not wanting to leave his spot.
Kagura smirked evilly as she bent down to the young girl. "Rin," she said with a soft smile, "Can I please have that pickle? I am really hungry right now."
Oh, she was just so confused. By the time Kagura spoke to her, she was questioning her very view on life. She nodded helplessly, holding the pickled vegetable to her with a faint smile."You're not scared of it, right, Kagura-san?"
"NO! Don't give her the pickle! Don't Rin!" Inuyasha shouted, fear consuming him. "Sesshoumaru, make your psychotic bitch of a girlfriend stay away from me with that pickle! I can't believe you brought up this subject!"
Kagura smiled as she took the pickle from the young girl stating, "Not at all. Why would any sane person be afraid of something as harmless as this?" she asked as she licked up the pickle, sucking at the top for a very brief moment.
Sesshoumaru wanted to smirk. This was perfect revenge for what his idiot brother had done to him earlier. "Kagura... what exactly are you doing?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.
"What do you think?" she asked as she sauntered over to the pair, biting the tip off of the vegetable. "Like I said I'm hungry."
"I swear if she comes at me with that thing I'll use you as a shield, Sesshomaru!" Inuyasha threatened, trembling still as he looked at Kagura with wide, frighten eyes.
Sesshoumaru heaved another sigh. His brother really was ridiculous. "Feel free to," he said. "If it makes you feel better." He really wasn't feeling Inuyasha's level of terror since he inwardly just found it amusing.
Kagura pouted as she looked at the hanyou, feigning to be hurt. "Now InuYasha, what makes you think I would ever hurt you?" she questioned as she walked closer to the two, watching as his eyes were horrifyingly fixed on the pickle.
"You're crazy, Kagura...stay the hell away from me!" Inuyasha now hid behind his brother, using him as a shield. Stupid Sesshoumaru, why the hell did he have to bring that up in front of all of them?!
Kagura smirked evilly as she swiftly ducked behind the two, as if she had done this before, and shoved the pickle down the back of the hanyou's shirt. "Now that shows you for trying to play pranks, doesn't it?" she taunted as she stepped back from the two.
Sesshoumaru would have smirked at Kagura's tactic, if not for the fact that Inuyasha was probably going to throw the both of them across the room. This honestly did more damage than good... Why, oh why did Inuyasha have to nearly drown in that vat of pickle juice at the pickle planting company during the family trip? Or better yet, why did he survive that?
"Heheh…" Kikyou laughed from the corner she had been sitting in. She was slightly amused by InuYasha's fear of pickles.
Inuyasha yelped out in surprise and horror, shaking his shirt to let the pickle drop out of it. Once the pickle hit the ground, Inuyasha darted up the stairs and into his room, despite the fact Sesshoumaru was still connected to him, and locked the door. "That stupid rotten bitch!" He huffed angrily, trying to catch his breath. "This is all your fault!" He pointed at Sesshoumaru.
"Serves you right!!" Kagura yelled up the stairs as she grabbed a fork off of the table. "Now get out here so I can pry your damn hands apart!!"
"My fault?" Sesshoumaru murmured with a raised eyebrow. "How so?" He feigned ignorance. This was just too good.
Inuyasha ignored Kagura's shouts, his door was locked...that should keep her away...for a while..."You have to bring up that stupid memory!"
Kagura stormed up the stairs, trying to open the door only to find it locked. "Open the door!" she shouted as she shouldered the door. "Open it or else!"
"And I was supposed to predict that Rin would bring a pickle with her?" Sesshoumaru replied. "Besides that, if I recall, this entire charade began because of you."
"If you weren't such an asshole maybe this wouldn't have happened!" Inuyasha spat, looking around his room for something to block the door. He looked at his dresser and began to push it, dragging Sesshoumaru along for the ride, and pushed it front of his door. "Why couldn't you date a sane girl?!"
"I heard that!" the woman snarled as she raised her leg to kick the door, a bad idea since she was wearing high heels. "Who said I wasn't sane pickle-man?!" she howled as she kicked the door as hard as she could, knocking her off balance, causing her to tumble down the stairs and land in an awkward position.
Sesshoumaru cringed when he heard a loud crash from the bottom of the stairs. That would not leave a nice mark. He turned to glare at his brother. "Maybe if your tricks were actually interesting I wouldn't have had to make such a comment," he told him.
"Oh because you're always nice, huh?" Inuyasha said in a mocking voice, a grin appeared on his face. "Ha, serves that bitch right!"
Kagura let out a groan as she sat up, rubbing her buttock and bosom. "Screw it, I'll get revenge on him later," she grumbled as she stomped back upstairs, heading into Sesshoumaru's room.
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