Contest entry for the May to December Romance Contest
Title: The Fate of Swans
Rating: M
Summary: Fate works in mysterious ways. Good and bad things happen, actions and reactions lead to a time or place where you're meant to be… Do you fight it?
Disclaimer: The author does not own any publicly recognizable characters herein. No copyright infringement is intended.
The Fate of Swans
*Fate is what happens when you think you don't deserve it.*
"I just can't do this anymore Bella…"
I sat on one side of the dining room table, silently and stoic, and watched the tears flow from my mother's eyes. The pain that I could see so clearly written all over her flowed freely into me… but there was something inside of me that just wouldn't let me show it. My eyes remained as dry as ever. Inside, I was crushed. Inside, my heart was shattering into the same millions of shards that I knew that I'd shattered my mother's into… but I'd held my heart so hard for so long, I just couldn't let her see that I was sorry for my actions…
What made it worse was that I didn't know why…. Why I wouldn't let myself break…
I dropped my eyes and picked at the frayed edges of my long sleeved t-shirt; it was an unusually cool day here in Florida. I knew she had more to say so I just waited…
"Your behaviour up to now has been bad enough… but this…" she shook her head. "I've called your father; you're leaving tonight."
My head snapped up to hers; wide eyed and disbelieving.
"You're shipping me off… to my father?"
"I can't have you here anymore Bella… not after…" she looked down, her body trembling slightly as she pulled herself together, "… maybe one day, we can… move on, move past this, but as of right now... I just can't… I need you to… leave."
When she looked back up to me, I could see that there was nothing I could say at this point that would change the outcome of my day… or night as it may be. Tonight would find me at the airport, on my way to see my father.
=X=
Today had been the longest day of my life…
I looked down at my watch as I followed the other passengers out of the plane and saw that I'd now been awake for… twenty hours straight. That would have been taxing at the best of times, but taking into account everything that had happened in those twenty hours and the emotions that came with them, it's a wonder I was still upright.
Finally, I emerged into the fairly populated airport, considering it was now 11pm on a Tuesday night. My eyes quickly scanned around and found the weary eyes of my father looking back at me. We'd always had an odd sort of relationship; not because of any bad blood or anything, we just weren't really the type of people who got all 'touchy-feely' with others… Then there were the other 'issues'… but I knew he loved me. I also knew that having me taken so far away from him when my mother left was hard for him to accept. His last words to me were ingrained in my mind.
"You are and always will be, my shining light, Bella. My one proudest achievements; don't ever forget that, baby. I love you."
But standing here now, watching the thoughts and emotions play over his handsome features… I doubt he could have said those words again at that particular time.
I resituated my backpack over my shoulder and took a deep breath. I swallowed my suddenly full mouth of saliva and walked over to him. "Hey Dad."
With a soft smile, he answered. "Hey baby girl, how was your flight?" What could I say? I just shrugged as I waited for his next move. And without any further fanfare he spoke. "We'd better get going; it's a long drive home."
=X=
It was a long drive, though I didn't really see much of it. I don't actually remember leaving the carpark to be honest. I woke to my father gently nudging my shoulder and I looked around, momentarily confused as to where I was. "Come on, you can go back to sleep shortly."
"Wow… Sorry, I didn't mean to fall asleep."
"It's alright. It's late, we're both tired." With that, he opened his door and stepped out of his car. As my father opened the boot of his car to get my bags, I blinked and rubbed at my eyes before opening my door.
"The house hasn't changed much." I said as we walked up the path.
"Nope, not much."
The atmosphere was uncomfortable but it was too late to do anything about it now… I knew 'the talk' was coming, but it would have to wait.
"Same room?" I asked.
"Yup. I'll see you in morning Bells… I've got the next few days off."
"Okay, well… goodnight Dad and…. thanks for… everything."
"Night Bells."
We gave one another a quick but awkward hug before going upstairs. Charlie dropped my bags off inside my room before 'leaving me to it' as he said. I was so tired, all I could muster up was a quick glance around a room that hadn't changed since I was about twelve, before flopping into bed… fully clothed.
I think I was asleep before my head hit the pillow.
=X=
It was the heat of the sun across my face that woke me up the next morning. I looked at my watch and groaned over the fact that I'd only been asleep for about six hours. There was really only two predictable things about me… one was my propensity to do wrong, the other was to wake up at seven every morning; no matter when I went to bed the night before.
I could hear sounds from downstairs, so I knew that Dad was up, after all, I didn't get my 'early-to-rise' gene from my mother. I rolled out of bed and grabbed some clean clothes from my suitcase so that I could grab a quick shower to freshen up before going to face the firing squad. As soon as I walked out into the hall, I was reminded of dad's new flame… Well, not new as such, my mother told me when Charlie had met someone quite a few months ago and that she thought it was pretty serious this time. That 'someone new' was currently in the shower so I threw my stuff back on my bed before going downstairs for something to eat.
As I made my way down the stairs, I thought about the talk that I knew I'd be having with my father. It was going to be hard, but I knew my father and he wasn't the sort of person to let thing fester… this talk would be happening sooner rather than later.
I rounded the corner and turned into the small but tidy kitchen and watched my father flit around the room like he was some sort of chef or something… "You cook now?" I said in surprise.
"Oh… morning Bells, ah, yeah… sort of. I'm not all that good, but I'm getting there... Omelette?"
I'd only eaten maybe half of my omelette when I heard the footfalls of someone coming downstairs. I turned to the kitchen entryway before turning back to look at my father. He looked nervous.
I turned to look at the person who was now a major part of my father's life and nearly swallowed my tongue… I couldn't help the gasp of surprise and with it, the piece of egg that had been in my mouth lodged in my lung and had me in the worst coughing fit I'd ever been in.
Fuck me! That's all I could think of as I tried valiantly to look through my watery eyes.
"Bell's… are you alright?" My father said as he thumped me on my back. Somehow, I drew in a stuttering breath, my eye flickering between my father and the man standing in front of us.
"Bella… I don't know if you mother has said anything to you but… I'd like to introduce you to someone very important to me. Bella, this is my partner, Edward. Edward, this is my beautiful daughter, Bella."
"It's great to finally meet you, Bella." He said as he held out one of his huge hands to me. I looked from his long, slender fingers up his toned, golden brown arms to his stunning face…. If memory serves, I was sure my mom said he was thirty three, and he was, without a doubt, the most stunningly beautiful man I'd ever laid eyes on in my whole entire life… Shit!
"Hi…" I croaked out. I quickly cleared my throat and took his hand…. Oh, they're so soft… "Hi, um… it's good to finally meet you. My mom told me a little bit, but…."
"Yeah, it's all good." Oh God…the smile…
The feeling of his hand in mine was… hard to put into words. It felt slightly odd but on the other hand, holding this gorgeous man's hand was also a thrill… I know my face was blooming to life before his very eyes, it was yet another of my father's characteristics that he'd so lovingly passed onto me. Now that I think of it, there wasn't much of my mother in me at all… other than my height… and gender.
My heart beat rapidly as I tried to swallow the rest of my breakfast while sitting directly opposite my father's fuck-hot boyfriend. Life truly wasn't fair. Here was this manly man, all strong, sharp lines… thick, grab-able hair and a body to die for that was wrapped in a suit that looked like it was sown on… and he's gay!
"Will you be home for dinner tonight?" My dad asked Edward from the head of the table.
"Yeah, but I've got to go see my mother after work, so I'd say… seven at the latest." He replied. My father nodded as they both stood up to walk out into the hall. "I'll see you again tonight Bella, it really is lovely to meet you. Have a good day with your dad."
"You too Edward but I'm sure it'll be anything but a good day if I know my father…" I said seriously. There really was no need to beat around the bush. We all knew what was coming and we all knew it was going to be rough… If he was going to have me around, then he'd just have to take me for what I am… I am a 'no-holds-barred' type of girl, I say what I think. If someone has a problem with that, then that's their problem.
"Mmm, I think I'm going to like getting to know you better, Bella; you're so much like your father." He said with a smirk and a wink.
As my body and face flushed in… embarrassment… I listened to their goodbye at the door. A minute later, my father was back and I knew the talk was about to begin.
=X=
My eyes stayed dry for all of maybe fifteen minutes after Charlie asked me his first question… 'Why?' I shrugged as I stared at my plate; my fork pushing and mashing the remnants of my breakfast around at the same speed as my stomach knotted tighter and tighter. Whereas my mother kept asking, my father stayed silent… I knew he was just sitting there watching me… waiting… He would have made an excellent interrogator.
I could feel his eyes on me; I just had to stay strong…
I could do this…
Why won't he say anything?
I'll just wait, I'm better at this than he is….
Maybe….
No… I'm not… I could feel my eyes stinging. Shit… don't cry Bella, don't you fucking cry!
I swallowed hard and tried to gain my composure and that's when he attacked. My father stood up quickly, knelt down on my side of the table and pulled me into his arms. How was I supposed to stay strong under such conditions, huh?
I crumbled… Sobs tore out of me as my father ran a hand down my hair and told me over and over how much he loved me and how much he'd missed me over the years and how sorry he was… I didn't really know why, I didn't know what he thought he'd done wrong that he needed to apologise for but at that point in time, there was nothing I could do to stop myself from crying…
"I don't know why." I said after I'd finally calmed down and was once again sitting opposite my father at the kitchen table. "I honestly can't say why. I just… I have no interest in…"
When I didn't say more, my dad spoke up. "But why that guy… why Phil's brother? You must have known how it would end?" Phil was my step father; his brother Mike was a few years older at thirty four but still fit and good looking.
"I don't think I even thought about that, to tell you the truth." I can remember the feelings I felt at the time, I can remember so much but for some reason, I just couldn't put all of that into words… at least not to my father.
"Listen Bella, I know that there's no set plan as to who someone should or shouldn't be attracted to. Everyone is different and I'm not going to put you down for being attracted to older men if that's where your heart lies, but I'm just trying to understand why you went where you did."
I couldn't say anything; I didn't know how. Hot tears had kept falling the whole time we spoke; they wouldn't stop. There was just so much shame, hurt and confusion inside of me that I was unable to express. It was like my body had finally worked out a way to let it out.
"Why don't you go and have a shower; freshen up some and I'll make us some lunch." I nodded before completely hearing his words. I glanced at my watch, shocked to see that it had been hours since first coming downstairs. "I've got a new movie we could pop in too if you'd like."
"Sounds good."
I stood up and without looking back; I quickly made my way upstairs. I could feel everything bubbling up; just waiting to explode, so I grabbed my clothes that I'd got out this morning and quickly made my way to the bathroom. My skin felt like it was crawling under the strain of holding back my emotions and the need to shed my clothes became paramount. With one hand shedding my underwear, the other turning on the water, I soon found myself under the unrelenting, burning streams of the shower.
That's where I broke for the second time in a matter of hours…
=X=
Thankfully, my father didn't say anything when I finally came downstairs. I knew he could see my red rimmed eyes and in all likelihood, he'd probably heard me crying but he knew I was too much like him to push me into talking… He knew I'd get there eventually… Maybe.
The afternoon was good I suppose, nothing too heavy. "How 'bout I cook dinner tonight?" I suggested.
"You don't have to sweetie; we can just order in if you'd like."
"Nah, I enjoy cooking… helps me think, plus Edward should be home soon."
"Okay then, want a hand?" I quickly shook my head and took myself into the kitchen. Now, I was no gourmet chef or anything, but I could cook pretty well, even if I do say so myself. It was sort of a 'do or die' thing being Renee's daughter. There were a lot of good things about my mother but culinary skills weren't one of them. After my last bout of food poisoning when I was ten, I decided it was safer amongst the sharp knives and hot cooktop elements than it was with my mother's scrambled eggs…
As my father watched what sounded like baseball, I put together a quick pasta and salad. It wasn't anything fancy and truthfully, I was surprised to see that my father had the ingredients to pull it off. Once everything was ready, I started to gather the cutlery. "Want me to set the table?" My father asked from the kitchen entryway; he must have heard me.
"Yeah, thanks." Just then, I heard the front door open.
"Oh wow…" The sound of deep, smooth voice made me blush. I looked up to see my father smiling towards the front door. "I think I'm definitely going to enjoy living with Bella if I come home to aromas like this every day."
"Hey, I cook too." My dad said.
"Mmm, though I'm pretty sure hers will taste better than yours."
He didn't mean it that way; you've just got a dirty mind… I thought to myself.
With every moan that came out of his mouth, the kitchen got just a little bit hotter…
"This…" lick… "…would have to be…" chew, lick… "…the best… pasta ever!" Edward said with his eyes closed. I looked over to my dad but he looked as if he was enjoying it just as much… only a lot quieter. I looked back to Edward to find him watching me, intently. "I'm guessing that this is only the tip of the iceberg as far as your talents are concerned, Bella."
"Oh, I don't know about that; it's just pasta."
"He's right Bells, this really is awesome. I didn't know all of this was in the cupboard." My dad looked happier than I'd seen him since arriving, so I gave him a quiet thanks. After dinner, my dad grabbed a couple of beers from the fridge and said he was off to watch the end of the game; I was surprised to see Edward start to clear off the table with me.
"You don't have to do that. Don't you want to watch the game too?"
"No, you don't mind the company, do you?"
"Of course not."
He gave a nod and then helped me take everything over to the sink. "It's the least I can do in payment of that awesome dinner."
"It wasn't that awesome." I said shyly. I startled a little when I felt fingers under my chin. I turned to face him and my heart thumped at the look in his eye.
"Yes, it was beautiful. You should be proud of what you created. If everything you make tastes as good as that…. Mmm, I can't wait to dive right in." Shit! Between his eyes, his soft sexy voice and the words he just said… I almost melted to a pile of goo!
Once the dishes were done and the kitchen cleaned up, Edward and I made our way back into the lounge room. "So, how did it go?" My dad asked looking up at the man in front of me.
"Good." Edward replied. "I don't have to go in till next week."
"Thanks Edward." I looked to my dad in confusion. "I know I said that I had the next few days off Bella, but I've been called in to oversee the completion of a building in Portland; I probably won't be back until the weekend at the earliest."
"Oh, well… I'm fine here on my own. I'm used to it."
"Hey," Edward said putting his hand on my shoulder. "There's really nothing going on at work that I need to be there for and plus, it'll give us some time to get to know each other. You don't mind do you?"
I glanced at Charlie and could see the hope in his eye; I think he really wanted us to get along. "No, I don't mind."
"Excellent." He smiled. "Come on."
We made our way to the three-seater and made ourselves comfortable, Dad of course was comfortably planted on his recliner, 'Old Faithful' as I called it. Luckily I didn't have to wait long for the game to finish. "Here, you choose." Dad said throwing the remote onto my lap.
"Really?" I said smiling. I may not have lived with my dad much but I knew him well enough to know just how rare an occurrence it was for him to give up the power of the remote.
"Really." I looked back to Edward who was smirking at both of us.
"Anything?" I asked biting my lip… I was trying desperately to keep the grin off my face. With an almost reluctant nod from my father, I decided to have a little fun…
I quickly flipped to channel 365, God channel and schooled my face into as neutral a look as possible. The room went quiet as we listened to the words of God emanate around the room…
Wait for it… Soon, Bella… soon. DON'T smile…
"Ah, Bells…?" I looked over to my dad with a raised eyebrow. "Um…"
HOLD IT! I could feel the smile coming… 'Ah Captin', I canna hold it, 'tis gonna blow!'….
"Why you little…" I burst out giggling as he leapt up and started all out tickling me on the lounge. Struggling to get away from him, I found myself on Edwards lap. "Help me; I'll take her feet."
With that, they both had their fingers digging into me until I nearly peed myself. I can't remember the last time I laughed so much. "Uncle… Uncle…!" I yell out. "Alright, I'll be serious, I promise!"
"What do you think Ed?" I could hear the laughter in my father's voice as I look up from where I lay on Edward's lap, he's smiling down at me.
"Oh, I don't know… I'm rather enjoying this punishment."
My mouth fell open in surprise. "Well you could keep going I suppose, but don't blame me if I wet my pants."
My father wouldn't have seen it from where he stood, but Edward's features didn't change to my comment, other than his right brow that lifted in question. It took a few seconds for me to get it… I was coming to think that Edward had a very dirty mind and heard double entendres in nearly everything I said.
=X=
"Choose wisely Bella," my father said once he sat down on his chair. "…What you do next could have wide ranging ramifications for future remote privileges."
I thought about screwing with them some more… but in the end, I knew my favourite show was on and it won out… I also knew my dad would like it.
"That's a bit more like it." He said smiling after I turned it onto the Hallmark channel.
"Lucy… I'm home!" I said trying my best to mimic Ricky. I looked to my right as I felt Edward lean in towards me.
"Chicken…" He whispered.
"What?" I asked.
"You chickened out from what you were going to put on."
I couldn't help but blush at the fact that he could read me so easily and so quickly after meeting me… "Did not…" But then again, it could have had something to do with how close he was to me.
"Did too." He smirked. 'Chicken'… he mouthed.
"What are you two whispering about?" My father asked.
"He's picking on me, trying to make me put on something else and get me into trouble." I said to dad; I even added a pout. Charlie just shook his head and turned back to the TV, I looked back to Edward… who was glaring at me… playfully. When he gave me the universal 'I'm watching you' hand signal with two fingers… I cracked up.
I was pretty sure that I was going to love living here.
The next morning, I woke up to the heavy sound of rain… I'd been lucky yesterday, it had only been overcast, but there was nothing I could do about the rain. My father had said goodbye to me the night before, telling me he'd be gone by the time I woke up so I laid there for a while, wondering what the next couple of days would be like, here alone with my father's boyfriend… whom I'd only just met. No matter how well we'd got on last night, he was essentially, a stranger to me.
Not being one to lay in bed once awake, I quickly got up and gathered some clean clothes. Poking my head out into the hall, I smiled seeing the bathroom door ajar. I didn't know if Edward was awake yet so I quietly tip-toed over the wooden floorboards. I stopped a couple of feet away from the door, my breath catching at the sight in front of me.
Edward obviously hadn't been out of the shower long and was standing in front of the sink shaving… naked! One hand rested on the bench as he leaned in close to the mirror, his concentration intent on the face that had taken my breath on more than one occasion. My mouth watered as I took in the hard, defined muscled arms; I loved watching them flex and stretch as he moved. His chest… ungh… I had an extreme urge to lick it…
My eyes, suddenly having minds of their own all of a sudden, moved downwards… Down past a slim waist and defined hips, I followed the line of the leg closest to me. It was stretched out straight behind him, meaning nothing was obstructing the view! My mouth was no long watering… it was dry; my tongue felt like it was stuck to the roof.
I hadn't seen that many cocks in my life but compared to the ones I had seen, he was definitely bigger than them… I was a little confused, he didn't look hard, well not completely; I couldn't work out how he could be that big and not hard.
Oh… I bit my lip and gripped my clothes tighter in my arms as realisation hit me… Shit… he must be huge when he was at full mast! I couldn't help but drag my eyes up his beautiful body once more; it didn't matter that he was more than ten years older than me, he was magnificent. I knew that I'd never get the chance to see a body so magnificent again, so I had to take all I could get. Seeing that he must be close to being finished, I slowly turned and snuck back to my room before I got spun out.
EDWARD
I was more than a little frustrated this morning. Charlie woke me early when he was leaving, brushing his hand over my semi saying that he wished he could help me out but he was running late; the only thing that his action resulted in was giving me… thoughts!
By the time I was fully awake a couple of hours later, I was as hard as granite. I quickly got up with the intention of rubbing one out in the shower; I most certainly wouldn't be able to walk around pitching a tent with Bella in the house. I hadn't been at it long when I hissed out a gasp of surprise; my salacious thoughts had turned to… someone other than Charlie. The same dark brown hair, same deep chocolate eyes, but an altogether different Swan assaulted my brain! Fuck! There was no way I was going to flog one out to the images of my lover's daughter so I dried off in the shower so I wouldn't put water all over the floor and then hung my towel back over the glass wall before getting out.
I squeezed some shaving cream into my hand and quickly spread it around my face, desperately trying to turn my inappropriate thoughts off and finally lose the erection I couldn't finish off in the shower. From the moment I laid eyes on Isabella, there was no denying how hot she was. I was well aware how easily I could find myself in trouble with her, one slip of control and both she and Charlie would know just how attracted to her I was… but that didn't stop the little innuendos I sent her every chance I got during the night.
I leaned forward and slowly concentrated on my face. After the first few swipes, I looked down to wash the razor in the basin and noticed out of the corner of my eye that I wasn't alone. In my head I knew that I should move, at least make it so she couldn't see my cock but I couldn't. It was wrong on so many levels, but something made me continue shaving as if she wasn't there. Each swipe of my face got slower and slower. I was soon running out of face to shave…
I watched her squirm from my periphery and knew she liked what she saw. It took everything in me to stop my cock from letting his happiness of that revelation be known. When I noticed her move away, I turned in her direction and more confused than ever before…
BELLA
I waited in my room until I heard him go downstairs and then quickly went into the bathroom. Knowing where he was standing only moments before and naked at that got me thinking thoughts I shouldn't be thinking. I refused to give in to them though and quickly went through my morning routine.
When I rounded the corner into the kitchen, I couldn't help but smile. Edward stood there leaning against the bench, sipping on a steaming cup of coffee.
"Good morning Beautiful." He greeted.
"Morning, good lookin'." I smiled back. He raised a brow in question, so I answered. "What? Are you going to stand there and tell me you aren't good looking?"
Cue the smile… "Coffee?"
"Hell yes... you'll come to know that I'm a much nicer person to be around after my morning caffeine injection."
"Oh, I think you're pretty nice." He said as his eyes lowered. He tried to cover the action by looking into his mug of coffee, but I'd been checked out enough to know what it looked like. I just couldn't work out why he was doing it.
=X=
"You know you can talk to me, right." Edward offered. I turned to him as we sat on the lounge. "I know I'm not your dad, but sometimes that can make things easier."
I sat thinking for a minute before answering and when I did, I heard the snark come out too. "Not much to say really, my mom caught me sucking on my step-uncle's cock." When I heard him clear his throat, I looked back.
"You know that we won't ever make you feel bad for your choices of partner, but why not someone your own age?"
"I've had sex with two guys in my life Edward and they were both my age. Every time I was with them, I had to imagine them as being older to get… into it, everything about them was just… lacking."
"I'm not judging you but if you've only been with young guys, how do you know…
"There was one other guy before Mike," I interrupted. "…he was actually a friend of Phil's. He knew how old I was and I could tell he was interested so I made the first move… and the second. One night he came around looking for Phil but I was home alone. We ended up fooling around, got each other off but he said he couldn't go any further; not at my age. After that, I knew what I wanted, what I liked. I'd always found Mike really attractive and when he started looking at me like a woman instead of a kid… it made me…" I couldn't say anymore. "I can look after myself, I always have and who I choose to fuck is no-one's business but my own."
"Well, until you're eighteen…"
That was probably the wrong thing to say. "Like you were a virgin until you turned eighteen. I like older men, Edward. I like how their bodies feel in my hands, how they make me feel." I could hear my voice escalate not only in speed but tone and volume.
"How do they make you feel?"
"Special… treasured… wanted."
I swallowed as an image of my father just standing there watching my mother take me away. He didn't want me, so I thought… Years later, even with everything I now knew, I still thought that in some sense.
=X=
Over the next few days, Edward and I fell into a comfortable ease. I'd returned to school and found he was an amazing study partner as well as a cooking partner, cleaning partner… that sort of thing but it was also in our talks… he made me laugh like no-one else ever did. This was how dad found us early Sunday afternoon. I could tell he was pleased to find us getting along so well, but there was something else there in his eyes too; if I had to pinpoint one emotion, I'd almost say jealousy. I quickly shook that off because I couldn't think for the life of me what he'd have to be jealous about.
The few weeks that followed went by fairly quickly. My father's job as lead architect had taken him away here and there and in those times, Edward and I had the house to ourselves… I often hoped I'd be treated to another 'shower scene' but it never happened. Edward was a lawyer and a damned good one too from what I could tell. There was one case that he had to go out of town for and it was then that Charlie had tried once again to get me to open up to him. From the little he'd said, I was sure that Edward had filled him in on some of the things we'd spoken about, but for some reason, Edward had been right… he was easier to talk to.
I found I wasn't all that embarrassed when talking to him about how I thought and felt sexually but thinking about some of our conversations had me blushing; his continuing little comments didn't help either. One night, I'd been upstairs when I heard raised voices. I went to the top of the stairs and heard what sounded like Edward and Charlie arguing.
Dad was gone when I got up the next morning and as Edward and I sat at the kitchen table drinking our coffees, I couldn't help but worry that their fight had been about me.
I sat looking at his troubled expression and when our eyes met, he let out a sigh. "What's wrong?" I asked him.
He stood up and held a hand out to me. "Come with me?" I reached out and he helped me up, leading me into the lounge room. "Nothing's wrong Beautiful, alright."
"I heard you and Dad fighting." I thought I'd just get that out there before he could bullshit me.
"People argue Bella, but… How much do you know about your dad and his… way of life?"
"He's gay." I said confused.
"Mmm… I think I need to explain some things." He said with slight apprehension. When I didn't say anything, he continued. "Bella, your dad and I have been together for a while now and it's been good but there's something that you should know about us; we're both bisexual."
Bisexual… On one hand, the thought of Edward liking girls was good, but then… not. Then there was my dad… Ewwww…
"Before I met your dad, the only relationships I'd ever had, had been with women. I'd known for a long time that I swung both ways and I'd had a few… experiences with men but women were what I… liked more."
"Then why… why are you with my dad?"
"Well, as you very well know, you like what you like…"
"Are you leaving?"
"No! No… I just thought that… I needed to be honest with you. You deserve that."
I was quiet for a while, just trying to put everything together. "Is that why you fought with Dad; you like a girl?"
"Something like that, it's hard to explain." Edward said looking down. When he looked back up, he had a determined look on his face. "Nothing has or will happen, but the attraction is there."
I wanted to ask if it was someone I knew, but I didn't…
=X=
It was now only one week before my birthday and things were good. Nothing about what Edward and I spoke of was really brought up again and I found myself thinking more and more of who the skank was that had taken Edward's eye. Dad and I still had issues with talking about things. I tried to explain that there were just some things that I didn't feel comfortable talking to him about and talking to Edward gave me an unbiased and unjudging ear, he seemed to get it but I could see he didn't like it.
"How's school going?" Dad asked over dinner one night.
"Good, I've got a paper I need to work on tonight so you'll have free reign of the TV later…"
"And that's different to any other night, how…?" He said as one brow lifted. I stuck my tongue out playfully.
"Put that thing away." He said smiling. That just made me wiggle it more. The coughing fit opposite where I sat, pulled us out of our little banter. Once he got his breathing under control, Edward excused himself to go and take a shower.
"Is he alright?" I asked dad.
"Yeah, he's just put in a lot of time at work lately. He tends to shut himself off when there's a lot on his mind."
"Okay... well, I'll get this done so I can get started on my homework."
"Nah, I can do it… you go on up."
"Thanks Dad. I probably won't be back down then, good night."
"Good night baby girl, sweet dreams."
I walked into my room and grabbed a notepad and one of my biology text books and got to work… Through my partially open bedroom door, the sound of the shower running brought my attention away from onion root tip cells to very detailed images of Edward's naked body. I knew what he looked like, both physically and imagined; he'd stared in enough of my dreams by now and my body was quick to react.
I closed my eyes and let my hands take over; one hand slipping under my tank to rub and pull at my hardened nipples while the other slipped effortlessly under the soft elastic of my panties. I was hot and wet and picturing Edward's face only made me more so; it didn't take long to be pulled into the fantasy. "Oh…" I whispered on a sigh. "…yessss."
I moved a finger into my slippery arousal, spreading it up and around my swollen clit. The feeling made my toes curl into the sheet underneath me. I quickly discarded my panties, they were too restricting then I bent my left leg up while my right one fell down to the side. My breathing increased in time with the pumping of my finger; soon it wasn't enough. "Oh… Edw… ah…" I added a second then a third finger; the fuller feeling had me burning. All I could think of was Edward's long, thick cock pumping into me.
EDWARD
I stepped out of the bathroom, my towel wrapped around my hips and moved towards my bedroom when I heard a soft moaning from Bella's room. I knew she'd gone to study but I wondered if dinner hadn't settled well with her. While tossing up if I should get dressed before going to her or not, a deeper, more intent moan had me moving before I knew it. I put my hand on the doorknob, intent on seeing what was wrong with her when I heard words that floored me. "Oh… Edw… ahh…"
What the fuck? My eyes widened as I stood rooted to the spot… listening. Surely she couldn't be… no…
"Harder…" pant "…ungh… fffuu…" pant "…Edward… yeah…" gasp, then her voice strained out… "…oh… Fuck…."
Nothing, from her second moan, I did with forethought. Everything had been done on autopilot, including opening her door. The sight before me was… it had me… Fuck she was stunning. My eyes took in the hand that kneaded and pulled at her tits but they quickly focused on the glistening pussy that was on full show for me. Mesmerised, I watched as her soaked fingers pumped in and out. I glanced back to her face but her eyes were closed in her ecstasy. "Edward, fuck me…" she whispered.
Yeah… fuck me! I thought to myself. I was rock fucking hard, painfully hard and my heart beat so intently behind its cage of bone I thought I'd pass out. Unconsciously, I'd palmed myself to try and get some friction but as I saw her nearing her climax, I knew my time was fast running out. Silently, with her eyes screwed tight and her mouth open just right… she came. And what a sight she was.
Praying that the door wouldn't creak, I closed it back to its previous position and moved to lean my back against the wall; I had to get control before I went back into her room. I'd been aware of my attraction to Bella for a while; I just didn't know it was reciprocated. Until now… I didn't know what the fuck I was going to do now… It had been hard enough to keep my distance from her while I thought it was only one-sided but now… knowing her thoughts… and her body… I honestly didn't know how I was going to stop myself.
BELLA
I was speechless… I don't think I've ever cum so hard in my life, at least not by my own hand… Yeah, not even with my vibe or a guy's help come to think of it. Once my mind and body linked up again, I slowly opened my eyes. Breathlessly, I giggled and that's when I smelt it… Him! I jumped out of bed and quickly made my way over to my door. Peeking out into the hall, I saw it was empty but I could also tell his scent was stronger here…
He was here…? He heard me, maybe saw me… Oh God…Did I say his name out loud?
Knowing this should have had my cheeks flaming in embarrassment but I found it was quite the opposite, if anything, it aroused me even further. I must admit that when he told me that he was bisexual, a small part of me rejoiced… but my happiness was quickly squashed with the knowledge that not only was he with my dad but he'd already told me about another woman taking his eye.
With so much on my mind, there was no use going back to my homework right now, I decided to go shower and cool myself down. I grabbed some PJ's and threw on my panties from before and then went out. Just as I got to the bathroom, I heard a noise from my dad's bedroom. With a quick look down the stairs, I saw the light flickering off the TV and my father's mumbled voice, so I walked over to the door and pressed my ear against it.
"Mmmm, yeah… Suck it…. Fuuuuck…."
Holy fuck, how hot is that? I could hear the wet sounds of Edward jerking himself off inside.
"Oh God… feels so good… Faster…." All I could think of was that I was happy we had a removable shower head in the bathroom… I was turned on again. I could hear things escalate; his breathing, his murmurs, his pumping… I closed my eyes, picturing his body, and then it happened…
"Fuck…. Bella…"
SHIT!
=X=
The shower didn't turn out as satisfying as I'd originally thought; hearing my name pass Edwards lips as he climaxed had me feeling both elated and scared shitless. I soon found myself lying in bed thinking about what I'd heard in Dad and Edward's bedroom. Obviously Edward thought of me… in that way, though I wasn't sure how long it had been that way. The timing could not be coincidental, especially since I know I smelt his scent at the doorway; he clearly liked the show I unwittingly put on for him.
But he's… with… ungh… He's dad's… Oh, bloody hell….now I need bleach….
The repercussion of my actions with Mike had been more than I'd expected; I really hadn't thought about anything other than my body's desires. I'd hurt my mother, broken her trust… but if anything were to happen with Edward… it would definitely be worse. I'd already alienated one parent; the parent I'd always been closer to, I couldn't hurt my dad like that too no matter how strong an attraction I had with Edward. Starting tomorrow, I would be different.
True to my word… the next day after school, I did something that I haven't done in a long, long time.
I said 'yes' to a date.
I was just finishing off cooking dinner when Edward walked in, I smiled, said hello and went back to what I was doing.
"Guess what?" My father said with a smile in his voice.
"Hmm…" Edward said distractedly.
"My little girl is going on a date tomorrow night." I hadn't expected my father to bring this up with such enthusiasm as he'd given me the third degree when I told him about it earlier.
"A date… really?" Edward asked as I turned to face him. He wore a smile but I heard the tightness in his voice.
"Yeah, some guy named Jasper. His younger sister goes to school with Bella; apparently he's hot." He told Edward, brow wiggle and finger quote included.
"Dad…"
"You never said how old he was, Bells." Charlie asked.
"I'm not exactly sure… Rose just turned eighteen; I think Jazz is about twenty two, something like that." The both knew not to pull the 'too old' card with me…
"How does he know you if he's not in high school?" Edward asked me.
"He picks Rose up each afternoon, so we've spoken a lot, he's really nice, he makes me laugh," I decided to have a little fun… "Plus, he's a bloody good kisser."
"What!" Charlie said loudly, "…you never said anything about that before."
"You didn't ask." Things were quiet for a bit as I got glared at… by both dad and Edward. "Plus, I'm eighteen soon… I'm not going to be single forever." I watched Edwards jaw clench as his eyes stayed locked with mine.
"I don't mean for this to come out wrong, but I think it will…" Edward said, "…but, why would he be asking out a girl your age?"
"Probably because he's a lot like me and doesn't care about age; it's only a number."
Dinner was a quiet affair after that; both men sat stoically stewing in their own thoughts.
"I need a shower." Edward said as soon as he finished. Without another word, he stood up and went upstairs.
"What's up his butt?" I asked before realising my faux pas… My father on the other hand had no problem sharing his amusement. In fact, he nearly choked on his own tongue before letting out a sound somewhere between a snort and a laugh.
"Do you really want me to answer that, Bells…?" I could tell by his face that he really wanted me to say yes… He was only just keeping himself together.
"Oh Dad… gross!" I shuddered. "For shit sake… I really didn't need that visual."
His amusement died down fairly quickly though. "Sorry… he's just got a lot on his mind lately."
"How are things between you two?"
I didn't think he was going to answer for a while but when he followed me to the sink and started helping me clean up, I knew he was just trying to get his thoughts together. Since being here, we'd spoken more than I think we ever had before, but he very rarely spoke of his relationship with Edward.
"We're alright I suppose." When he looked up to see me looking back at him, he took a deep breath. "I guess when we first got together we both thought it would end up more than it's become."
"So, it's not as serious as you want it to be?"
He gave a little shrug of his shoulder. "Looking back, I don't think it ever was really. This is his first 'gay' relationship but knowing him as I do now, I know that while he is bi, he's more suited to the more traditional relationship of a man and woman."
"So, you're going to break up?"
He shrugged again before looking out the kitchen entrance. "I guess we'll have to cross that bridge if we come to it. How would you feel about that?"
His question startled me at first. Had he picked up on my feelings for Edward? Had Edward told him of his 'attraction' to me? I looked up at him nervously. "What do you mean?"
"I know you two are close, that's all."
"It doesn't really matter how I feel about it, does it? It's between you and Edward." When I realised that I'd been scrubbing the same plate for more than needed, I quickly put it in the drainer.
=X=
By the time Edward had made his way back downstairs, I'd already gone up to finish off the homework I hadn't got to the night before. It wasn't until a soft knock came to my door that I saw him again.
"I thought I'd come in and say goodnight." He said quietly.
"Are you okay?" I asked as I sat up on my bed. I'd been lying on my stomach with my books spread out in front of me, so when he saw me move them, he walked inside.
"What makes you think there's something wrong?"
"I'm not blind Edward, nor am I deaf and apart from what people seem to think, I'm not a child either."
"No, that you're not." He mumbled out with a snort. "You mind?" He asked, motioning to the bed. I shook my head before he sat down beside me.
"You've been a big help to me since I've been here," I said reaching out to rest my hand on his forearm; I wanted to smile at the feeling. "…you've listened to me rant and lent me a shoulder when I needed one; you've been a 'safe port in the storm' and given me an unbiased ear and opinion when I may not have been thinking properly. I can't tell you how much you've helped me and how much I've appreciated it… if you needed someone to talk to… I'd like to be your 'safe harbour' if I can."
When his eyes lifted from my hand to my eyes, I was taken aback by the emotion swirling within them; I was locked in his gaze. If my hand hadn't been on his arm when he moved it, I probably would have yelped in surprise when he finally touched me. His fingers traced my cheek and once more I felt the buzzing warmth that flowed through me every time we touched. I couldn't help but lean into him.
"You already are, Bella."
My heartbeat started to fly as his fingers slipped into the hair behind my ear; his eyes following the movement before coming back to my mouth. Automatically, my tongue poked out to wet my bottom lip before I sucked it back between my teeth. I watched as a crease formed in the middle of his eyes; I didn't have to be a mind reader to know what was going through his mind. He wanted to kiss me…
His thumb moved gently back across my slightly flushed cheek before going to my lip and removing it from where I was biting it. His eyes never left my mouth as he continued to touch me. His jaw clenched and he swallowed hard before looking up to my eyes. Breathing deeply, I tried to let him know just how much I wanted him to kiss me; I even looked down at his beautiful, plump lips, just hoping he would…
I squirmed as he started to lean forward, but my hopes crashed has he tilted my head forward and pressed his lips against my forehead. "Thank you." He whispered against my skin.
I reached up and gripped his forearms; wanting to keep him near me. I knew once he pulled away, he'd leave. "I mean it; I'm here for you in any way you need."
A second later, I was pulled onto his lap.
He gripped me tightly in his arms, almost to the point of me not being able to breathe. Automatically, my arms wrapped around him as he buried his face into the crook of my neck. I doubt he missed the shudder that went through me as his hot breath fanned over my skin, if he did, he most definitely wouldn't have missed the almost frenetic thumping under his lips as he pressed them against my pulse point.
When I felt his lips move silently against me, I wondered what he was doing, and then I heard his whispers. I wasn't sure what he was saying at first; he was speaking so softly, I honestly think he didn't mean for me to hear anything.
"She can't say that… she can't say those things… Stay strong…"
I didn't know what to do; I wanted to tell him no… tell him to just let go, but I knew there was more than just us and our obvious attraction to think about. I'd already hurt my mother by being ruled by my desires and doing it again, with Edward, would hurt my father too but in a much deeper way. When I felt him take a deep breath, I knew he'd pulled himself together and would soon move away… and he did.
When I looked up into his eyes, he looked so much more peaceful than he did before. "Thank you, Beautiful girl."
"You're welcome." I said with a smile.
He moved me slightly in his lap and reached up to hold my face in his hands. His eyes roamed my features; I could see he wanted to say something so I waited.
EDWARD
I knew…
I could see it written all over her face and in her eyes…
She felt this too…
She'd let me do anything I wanted. And after what I saw last night, I wanted it all.
Never have I felt an attraction so… comprehensive… Sure, I'd been insanely attracted to other people in the past but against what I felt right at this moment… I think I was finally getting what my mother had told me years ago… 'You'll know when you meet that special someone Edward; you won't need to question it.' But with Bella, it was different. Yes… physically, she was stunningly beautiful but it was more than just that. It was everything about her; it was her smile, her laughter, her deep, soulful eyes … But mostly it was just her, her soul, her essence, whatever it was that made her… her!
She was like a big, giant… Edward magnet. And I was quickly coming to terms over the fact that I was powerless against her pull. It was ironic really that when 'the one' finally and quite literally fell into my lap, she had to be the one person that I could never have….
Now, I had to think if allowing one, quick acknowledgement of our feelings was fair… to both of us or would it only make matters worse? I could see she wanted me to kiss her as much as I wanted to kiss her, but knowing that that's all it could be… was it fair?
BELLA
I watched his beautiful face as he gathered his thoughts and then I saw a change come over him as he came to some sort of conclusion.
"Is it fair?" he asked me as he pushed some hair behind my ear. I debated momentarily if I should play dumb, but I quickly squashed that thought; I knew what he meant.
"Probably not, but..."
He nodded slowly while not taking his eyes off me. "But… We can't…" I nodded, knowing what he was saying. "I want to though." He whispered.
Me too… so much. I knew that nothing could come of our attraction but I was selfish enough to just want something… something that I could look back on, just... once… I'd never been so attracted to anyone in my life, especially one who returned my feelings.
I didn't want to force him into something that he didn't want to do… oh, I knew he wanted what I wanted but I also knew that he didn't want to do something that would hurt my dad… neither did I but… I wanted just… one… taste.
But I couldn't…
I slowly leant forward and noticed Edward's jaw tensing but when he realised that I wasn't heading for his lips, he relaxed a bit and slowly let out the breath he was holding. My chest felt like an elephant had just taken up residence on it as my lips touched against his slightly scruffy cheek, it was a feeling that I didn't know what to make of.
"Thank you." I whispered in a strangled voice, my emotions were getting to me. Edward raised a brow in question, so I tried to think of how to explain it. "For everything, for understanding… For… this."
I closed my eyes when he wrapped his arms around me. He felt safe and knowing that this was probably the last time I'd ever have this, even in friendship was weighing heavily on me. Some part of me knew that it wouldn't be long and he would no longer be in my or my dad's life… It was something that I just wanted to hide from.
With a kiss to my forehead, Edward started to pull away. "Well, I should get going; you need to continue with studying too." I nodded and stood up from his lap. "You're a good person, Bella, no matter what you've done or not done in your life, doesn't mean that you don't have the most amazing heart I've ever known." Then he turned around and walked out of my room. I felt like crying…
=X=
The next day at school was just what I needed. Rose's constant chatter about my date with her brother that night was just what I needed. Walking to my locker after the last class, I sent a text to my father letting him know that I was going over to Rose's to get ready and that Jasper would bring me home before midnight. I smiled at his reply when it came through.
Dad: Be safe and don't do anything I wouldn't do.
Me: That doesn't leave much. How old were u when I was born? :)
Dad: Shut it and be good. Luv U
Me: Always, luv U 2.
"What's got you smiling so big?" Rose asked.
"Just my dad." I said showing her the texts. "You ready?"
"Yup, let's go get you all sexed up for my brother!"
"Sexed up… Rose, it's not that type of date tonight."
"Maybe not, but you can't tell me that it's not a good feeling to have your date go stupid when he first sees you all dressed up." I smiled when an image of that scenario went through my mind's eye, only it wasn't Jasper I imagined as my date.
=X=
If I'd met Jasper before coming to live with my dad, I'd be all over that like butter on popcorn! Not only was he drop-dead gorgeous but he was as funny as hell too. I couldn't remember laughing so much in my entire life.
"I had a great time tonight, Bella." Jasper said as we walked up to my house.
"So did I, Jasper, although I don't know how much more my stomach could handle, I got a stitch from laughing so much."
"Yeah… you have a great laugh," he said as we turned to one another. "…one I wanted to hear more of so I did my best to make it happen. I'd like to hear it again…"
The first thing I wanted to say was no… that I liked someone else but I had to forget about that, about him… So I smiled and moved in close to the gorgeous man in front of me. "I'd like for you hear to it again… soon." Jasper's smile was one of the best I'd ever seen and I couldn't help return it.
"Good, how about tomorrow?" I let out a rather unladylike laugh but was quickly silenced when he pulled me up against him. "I really want to see you again, Bella. You're… beautiful and smart and if things keep going as well I hope they will…"
I wanted to stop him saying anything… scary, so I pushed up onto my toes and pressed my lips against his. They were soft, really soft and amazing and… nice…
Just then, Edward's car came to a screeching halt at the curb. As he got out of the car and turned to face me, I knew something was terribly wrong.
"Get in the car, Bella." He said. I took off without a glance at Jasper, thoughts ran through my mind… bad thoughts that I didn't want to put voice to.
"What's wrong… it's Dad, isn't it?"
"He was called in to the PA site, there was an accident…" I could see that he was barely holding it together, I wanted to know more but my mouth stayed shut. We were almost to the Port Angeles hospital when he spoke again. "It's not good, Bella."
I closed my eyes and let the tears fall. I'd known that I wouldn't be going to see my father in hospital only suffering a scratch or two but the child in me didn't want to face the possibility of anything worse.
We walked up to the nurse's station, Edward's arm around my shoulders and the nurse looked up giving me a cursory glance before landing on Edward. "How can I help you?"
"We're here to see Charles Swan; he was bought here from an accident at a construction site."
"Are you family?"
"This is his daughter, his only relative." I looked up, confused as to why he didn't say that he was my dad's partner but I was too overwhelmed to ask. The nurse turned to her computer to pull up some information before turning back.
"Just go through that door and Nurse Baker will take you through."
"Thanks." Edward said with a nod of his head. I watched as she turned to a woman behind her, motioning to meet us inside the ER. I moved robotically through the corridors; Edward's arm being the only thing keeping me moving. When she stopped outside a curtain, I stopped.
"I can't…" I whispered, shaking my head. "I can't…"
"Sweety," Edward said as he held my face in his hands. "You can do this and you know I'll be right there beside you." Tears tracked down my face as I looked into his beautiful green eyes.
"The Doctor is in there with him now." The nurse informed us before walking back to the desk.
"Come on, Beautiful; let's go see your dad."
I closed my eyes as Edward moved us behind the curtain. I couldn't see my dad, someone who was always so strong in my eyes, lying helpless on a bed.
"Hello, I'm Dr Alec Marcus. You are…?"
"Hi, I'm Edward Cullen and this is Charlie's daughter, Bella." Edward said quietly. "How is he?"
I opened my eyes and gasped at what I saw. The man lying before me was not the man that I saw the night before. His now pallid skin was covered in cuts, bruises and bandages and he was hooked up to more wires than I'd ever seen.
"Bella… Bella…" Edward's hand moved my face away from my father to face him. "Sweetheart, the doctor needs some information from you, are you okay?"
"Is he dying?" I asked. "Am I going to lose my dad?"
"He's critical right now Miss Swan, his injuries are extremely serious." That wasn't an answer. "Are you his next of kin? I need some information and signatures. I'm sorry to sound so clinical but before I can get too in-depth with you, I need to know his next of kin."
"He has no siblings or parents and is unmarried, Bella is his only child." Even with everything going through my mind and heart, I still caught onto the fact that he didn't include himself as anything to do with my father… again.
"Okay then, well, I'll need you to sign this and then I can tell you what's going on." The doctor said handing over a clipboard. I signed my name where he told me and my eyes went back to my father. "How about we take a seat outside."
Edward led me over to the small waiting area just outside my father's 'room' where he sat me down on the small sofa. Sitting beside me, he pulled me into his side. The doctor sat on the table in front of us and looked directly into my eyes.
"Miss Swan…"
"Bella." I corrected.
"Bella… I don't know if anyone has explained what happened to your father…" I shook my head, "… okay, he was injured when the roof of the building he was in, collapsed. Rooving beams fell on top of him, doing significant damage."
"What damage?" Edward asked.
As he listed my father's injuries, hot tears streamed down my face, I may have been young but I knew that things were looking hopeless. "His back was broken, along with both of his legs, one arm and four ribs; he has multiple skull fractures and swelling on the brain. We'll be taking him in for surgery soon to try and relieve the pressure but as with all surgeries, there are risks. In your father's case, there are more risks than normal. Bella, I'll be straight with you, your father's injuries are extremely severe; I'm actually surprised that he's still alive and I think that's because he's strong and healthy. The next 24 to 48 hours will be crucial. I don't want to give you false hope because it's very touch and go right now but I'm not saying that he can't pull through this either. The human body is a remarkable thing sometimes."
"Can we be with him until he goes up for surgery?" Edward asked.
"Certainly, but it won't be long. I'll keep you informed as we go."
"Thank you." I said quietly. I was numb yet everything hurt so badly.
=X=
It was nearly 2am when Dr Marcus came to tell us that Charlie had pulled through the surgery and while that was good news, it also came with another setback. He'd suffered a stroke while on the table. Brain damage was almost certain, we just didn't know to what extent; he was also in a coma. "Why don't you go home and get some rest?" The doctor said.
"We live in Forks, we're staying here."
The doctor nodded his head slowly before speaking. "There's a motel about five minutes away, you'll get a lot more rest there than on these hard seats and there's no telling how long he'll stay in the coma. I've got your cell number Mr Cullen; I'll call immediately if anything happens."
Edward looked to me and asked what I wanted to do. I couldn't think… "I think that's a good idea, thanks Doctor." Edward said, shaking his hand. "Thank you for everything you're doing."
As Edward led me across the carpark to the car, the most pressing thought in my head finally came out. "He's going to die, isn't he?" I saw the pain in his face and the tears well in his eyes, the first tears I'd seen him shed. It was then I knew that he'd done everything he could to be strong for me…
"I honestly don't know, Bella. I'm praying with everything in me that he doesn't but…"
"Yeah… but. I feel it Edward, when I looked at him lying there, I knew then that he wasn't going to wake up again. I feel it in here…" I said rubbing my chest over my heart. "I'm going to lose my dad and my mom… my mom hates me… I'll have…. No-one…"
The sobs wracked my body as all the pain poured out of me. Edward held onto me like I was about to shatter and only his arms was stopping that from happening. I felt myself being lifted up from where I stood but the strength of his arms never let up. I knew he was crying with me but he didn't let me go even when he unlocked the car and put me into the back of his car and slid in behind me.
"I've got you, Beautiful, I've got you. I'm not leaving you Bella, you won't be alone. Not through this and not after, I'll be right beside you every step of the way until you tell me to leave."
I don't know how long we stayed there for but when I woke up next, it was in a bed wrapped up in Edward's arm. I tilted my head away from his chest and looked up into his sleeping face. The early morning light showed the dried tears that he'd let fall at some point. I knew that things weren't as good between them as they should have been but I'd also seen a lot of affection between Edward and my dad; he had to be hurting. As I took in Edward's beautiful face, his eyes opened slowly and landed on me.
"Morning, Beautiful." He said in a sleepy, rough voice. "Did you sleep okay?"
"I don't remember waking but I feel like a washed out rag…" He nodded his head as he stroked some hair away from my face. His hand cupped my face as his thumb stroked my cheek.
"I meant what I said last night, Bella. I won't leave you, not until you tell me to go." As tears started to flood my eyes again, he leant forward and pressed his lips against my forehead. After holding each other quietly for a while longer, we pulled apart to shower and get ready to go back to the hospital and when we finally walked into my father's ICU room, I'd come to some sort of… acceptance. I wouldn't say peace but I knew in my heart that I would never again hear my dad's voice.
"Do you want to call you mom, Bella?" Edward asked me. "If you don't feel up to it, I'll call her for you."
I looked down at my father and nodded. "My phone is in my bag." I knew I couldn't speak to mom right now. I was surprised when less than 24 hours after the accident, my mother had me in her arms while I broke down once again.
Things just went downhill from there.
When the alarms went off at 7am on Sunday morning, nearly 36 hours after he was hurt, my heart went into overdrive. As the doctors and nurses worked to bring him back, I yelled out how much I loved him… over and over again. I wanted that to be the last thing he heard; how much he was loved.
And it was…
At 7:25am, three days before my 18th birthday, I lost my dad.
The next few days went by in a blur. My mother was a Godsend and helped Edward and I organise my father's final farewell and when I couldn't, she took over while Edward pulled me back together.
When I woke up on Wednesday morning, my 18th birthday, I wasn't alone. Edward was sitting in the old rocking chair that sat in the corner of my room, looking out my window unseeing anything but the memories in his head. He looked so sad but yet strong; he'd been my rock the last few days.
When he turned to me and saw me awake, he smiled and walked over to sit on my bed beside me.
"I wanted to give this to you, before you started the day; it's from your Dad. He'd bought this about a week before you came to live with us." Tears brimmed in my eyes as I sat up. "I'll leave you to it." Then he leant forward and kissed my cheek.
My hands shook as I slowly unwrapped the present from my dad. I gasped as I took in what he'd bought me… It was a camera. About six months before I came to live with him, I'd told him about the photography class I had at school that I'd shown so much talent in and how much I'd love a camera. I couldn't believe that he'd remembered…
Two days after my birthday, we said goodbye to my dad. The whole church was packed with friends and colleagues, it was good to see how loved he was.
The day after, my mom wanted me to come home with her but I knew that my home was here. I'd only been here for a few months but in that time, I'd become the person I wanted to be and that person belonged in Forks.
=X=
Two months after losing my father, things between Edward and I had definitely changed. I could feel it… It was in the looks he'd give me, a kiss that would linger on my cheek or forehead a little longer than normal, small touches as we passed…
Graduation was weird; it felt odd not having my dad in the audience but Edward's bright and proud smile filled the hole. Instead of looking forward to the normal graduation party, I was looking forward to the week in Hawaii that Edward and I were going on; it was his present to me. The hotel he'd booked was amazing and all you saw when you looked out the floor to ceiling windows were the beautiful beaches of Waikiki.
"So, the beach tomorrow?" I asked as we sat on the sofa watching some God awful reality show.
"Yeah, you got your bikini?"
"Yes…" I couldn't stop the blush.
"I can't wait to see it if it has you blushing like this, Beautiful. Show me…"
I smiled as I thought, you asked for it… Rose helped me pick it out in the hopes it would get me 'laid in Hawaii'… pun intended. So, I got up and put on the royal blue, barely there bikini.
"What do you think, Edward? Not too revealing?"
His eyes widened and he choked on the beer he'd just taken a sip of… Shit! I ran over to him and started to thump him on his back. "I'm so sorry…" I started to say.
He grabbed my wrist and looked up at me, his face level with my stomach. He looked up at me and what I saw in his eyes had my mouth watering. "Tell me to stop." He said simply. I shook my head, no… Slowly he stood up from the sofa and pulled me closer. "You want this… me?"
"Yes." I watched as his eyes and fingers roamed all over my face.
"This will change everything." I nodded. "I won't let you go if we do this." I smiled and bit my lip. He growled as he pulled it out from between my teeth before leaning in and finally pressing his beautiful lips to mine.
My arms reached up and wrapped around his neck as the kiss quickly intensified. I moaned as he stood up and lifted me off the ground; his hands moving my legs to his waist. "No idea…" he whispered into my mouth. "… so long…"
My eyes opened when I felt a wall at my back but they quickly closed when he pushed his hard cock against me while gripping my ass cheeks in his hands; it felt amazing. "Open your eyes, Bella." When I did, he continued. "I love you, Bella. I've loved you for months so tell me now if you don't think this is something you want. I know I'm a lot older than you but…" I had to interrupt him right there.
"Edward, I've been attracted to you since I first laid eyes on you but since then you've become my everything; I want this. I love you too."
That's all he needed to hear. He mouth closed over mine hard as he pulled the strings of the bow at my neck. The small triangles of material fell away baring me for the first time; he stilled as he looked down. Light as a feather, he ran his hands over my breasts. "Fuck, you're stunning… so beautiful." His soft words were in contrast to his now firm grip as he kneaded my soft flesh just right. "I will never hurt you Bella, but I know what I like and how to please…"
"Oh God…" I moaned out as he took my left nipple into his mouth and the right one in his strong hand and fingers. Suddenly, I felt him everywhere. His rock solid cock pressed against my clit as fingers pushed my bikini bottoms to the side letting him know just how much I was ready for this.
"God, you're so wet…" Slowly yet without hesitation, Edward slipped a finger inside me at the same time he gently bit down on my nipple. Crying out, my head hit the wall behind me. His lips let go only to come and lick suck at my ear. "So tight… I can't wait to feel you come on my cock, my little Beauty."
"Now…" I said panting. I was so ready for this; it was something I'd wanted, dreamed of for months. "Now, Edward." I looked down to watch him unzip his fly and pull out his cock… Fuck, he's bigger than I remember…
"Shit! No condom…" Edward growled out between clenched teeth.
"I'm on the shot. Please Edward…" I shut up when I felt him against my opening. I wasn't sure if he'd go slowly or not, so I tried to relax as much as I could. I couldn't keep my eyes open as he slowly pushed his way inside me. "Ungh…" It had been a while since I'd had sex, so it hurt a bit. Edward must have picked up on it so he stilled once completely sheathed.
"You're mine now, Bella, completely mine…" All I could do was nod my head. He started moving and my body quickly accepted his. Each measured thrust stoked the fire burning inside me until I couldn't hold it any more. My body curled around his, my arms and legs clamping tight. My ears rang as my breathing stopped but I could still hear Edward's cry as he released inside of me. "Never… letting you go…" he panted. "Never…"
"Never…" I said in agreeance. "I love you."
"I've waited my whole life for you." Edward whispered before kissing me so softly, so gently that tears of fulfilment tracked down my face.
It was like every mistake I'd ever made was meant to bring us together.
I'd found my forever.
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