Sebastian wasn't doing great; he could barely stand and had to deal with the silent brothers "healing" at least once a day. The pain of which left him screaming every time they came. The only reason they bother with this instead of killing him is because of his sister's request; the same sister who never bothered to visit him in this big empty manor. The heavenly fire burned out the demon blood but not the hatred everyone harbored for me. I never regretted what I did not thought there was anything wrong with what I did. Not till most of my existence was burned from my body leaving me this sickly useless man, if I could even call myself that anymore. I hate myself and don't have the strength to do anything about it. The only pleasant company I get is ex-silent brother Jem and he's only come twice in the month I've been stuck here. Getting food is an adventure in itself. No one helps me despite knowing my condition, I'm pretty sure the silent brothers make me scream in agony on purpose, so I have to hobble along to the kitchen leaning on walls and counters hoping I don't fall just to make a sandwich. I was attempting to do just that when I heard the door open. Assuming it was a brother I chose to ignore it and continued trying to get the peanut butter from the tip shelf, at least if I fell now I wouldn't be on the ground long and I'd rather eat before I am "healed". I try to stand on my tip toes one hand on the counter for support as I reach just inches away when someone else's hand grabbed the peanut butter first. I quickly turn around to see a very unexpected visitor: Alec Lightwood. He stood rather awkwardly holding out the peanut butter for me with what seemed to be a permanent glare on his face. "Alexander, to what do I owe the pleasure?" I asked as I took the jar from his hand and turned back to my sandwich.
"Clary asked me to check in on you."
I finished putting my sandwich together and turned back to him leaning against the counter. "Why doesn't Clary check in on me herself." I took a bite of my sandwich and gave Alec the most arrogant defiant look I could manage as I took a bite, this man could kill me easily and I've no doubt he wants to if he sees how weak I am he might just change his mind and take pity on me, I need to do whatever I can to avoid his pity.
"Trust me I'd prefer she come here herself just as much as you do but her mom won't allow it."
"So you got stuck with Sebastian duty then, lucky you." I smirked
"Yeah lucky, when was the last time you ate anyway."
"Not sure, no one ever tells me how long I'm out after the silent brothers heal me."
"And all your eating is a PB&J?"
"Yeah so what" I finished my sandwich and dusted the crumbs from my hands on my pants.
"You're going to starve yourself."
"What do you care?"
Alec's glare deepened you know what you're right." He turned to walk out of the room and I grabbed his arm, I couldn't let him leave, the only one willing to talk to me since I got here, even if it was out of hate. I couldn't let him leave. He turned back just enough to pull me by the hand attached to his arm of the counter. I stumbled and fell, Alec catching me just before I hit the ground.
"Are you ok?" For a moment it actually seemed like there was real concern in his eyes he helped me sit leaning against the counter. I couldn't bear to look at him, glare at me hate me kill me even just don't fucking pity me. I heard he open the fridge a moment later. "What are you doing?"
"Trying to find food but it's pretty barren in here.
"Can't exactly go shopping."
"I'll just order a pizza."
I quickly turned my head back towards him "You don't have to do that I'm fine."
"No your not." He quickly out his phone to his ear and that was that. I turned my head away and stared at the ground. I hate this, I hate feeling so Damn weak, I felt tears stinging my eyes and closed them trying to swallow the pain instead of showing Alec anymore weakness.
"You don't have to act Sebastian, you spent your whole life with the demon blood in you it's no wonder you'll have issues when it's gone especially when you're barely eating."
He's right I know but that doesn't make this any easier, how am I supposed to show everyone that I'm different and I can be a good man, a good shadowhunter, if I can't even stand by myself, all I'll ever feel from others is hated and pity. I couldn't respond to what Alec said so i opted you change the subject. "How's your relationship with the warlock going?" I looked back at him just in time to see a flash of pain of his face.
"Good-great actually"
"You sure about that?"
"Absolutely"
"If you say so lover boy." I try to pull myself to my feet using the counter and Alec immediately comes to help.
"At least I have a relationship"
"Imagine that's allot easier to obtain when you're not hated by everyone."
"Yeah that does seem to help." After I managed to get back on my feet we were close enough for me to see the corners of his mouth turn up just slightly before going back into scowl mode.
"How long you plan on staying here with little old me?"
"Long enough to eat my fill a pizza, I am paying for it after all."
"Fair enough, help me to bed?"
He draped my arm around his shoulders and his hand on my waist. "Lead the way your highness" something about being pulled into him made me take in a rather sharp breath. I decided to shakes it off and walk back through the empty halls to the dark gray walls of my bedroom. Alec helped me get back under the black covers of my bed and apparently decided to explore.
"Nice place you got here." He said looking at my untouched bookshelf.
"That's one way to describe it."
"At least you have a tv" he walked over to the big black screen hanging on the wall across from my bed.
"Is that mundane tech?"
"Yeah I watch it with Magnus allot I'll show you, at the very least it'll give you something to do while you're here by yourself." He picked up a small black rectangle and pressed a button after sitting next to me and immediately there were people talking causing me to jump a little. Alec chuckled a little at my being startled and I glared at him. He then showed me what he called a remote and how to use it before the doorbell rang.
"That's probably the pizza I'll go get it and you flip through the channels till you find something interesting ok?"
"Yeah sure" he quickly left while I was hitting the channel button repeatedly only to stop when I saw a ghost make some kid drive of a bridge and Alec returned with a smell the made me realize just hire hungry I really was. He say on the covers next to me and placed the pizza box between us getting us both a slice which I quickly devoured. In the tv I saw a very attractive car going down the highway and I feared it would go over the bridge as well as I reached for another piece of pizza.
"Oh I know this show."
"You do?
"Yeah Magnus likes to talk about how smexy he thinks the brothers are."
"That must make you feel great." I went in for my third slice and looked up at Alec as he stated at the tv; a small smirk on his face.
"Nah you should hear the way he talks about me."
"Trying to make me jealous are you?"
"Yeah sure, I should probably get going now" he quickly pushed himself of the bed.
"You only had one slice"
"I'm full."
"Alright" I felt a sudden loneliness hit me like a weight from the thought of him leaving. "Could you consider coming back tomorrow?" Fuck that sounded desperate and wimpy.
"You want me to?"
"Well yeah I guess beats being here alone all day especially if you're going to feed me like today."I tried to play it off like it was nothing but I hate the thought of him leaving so much right now. He just stood there with his back to me and I almost beloved he was mad at me.
"Sure I'll come back." Thank God. I felt like I could let out the breath I didn't realize I was holding.
"Alright cool, see you tomorrow then."
"Yeah, bye Sebastian." And with that he was gone.