Title: 指切り (Yubikiri) — "Pinky Swear"
Author: choiheeyeonnie
Rating: M, you have been warned.
Genre: Romance, and a secret 'genre' you need to know what is it.
Length: One-shot.
Disclaimer: This is obviously a 'fanfiction' site, wherein people love to unleash their imaginations right? After the hang-over watching the 'anime' or reading a 'manga.' I don't own Cardcaptor Sakura, it belongs to the rightful owner which is CLAMP, literally.
Author's Note: I actually have this sickness, I'm stuck at CCS now! Although, many years have passed, still, I watched it. Actually when I was a child, I found myself watching it in TV (And to be honest, I just enjoyed it without knowing the exact point of the anime), as I grow I actually watched TRC 5 years ago? Or 6 years ago? I'm not sure either, but as I turn an adult, I watched again CCS, and bam! I started to look some of their doujinshi's, and stumbled upon just to find something related to them.
This story is inspired of Miku Hatsune's song "Pinky Swear" since I'm LSS about that song of hers, and if you did searched it probably you'll gonna have a clue what will gonna happen here. I suppose suggest that you mustn't research it, because it contains spoilers anyway.
Please, also let me know how the story did. Will appreciate it! Well, this is completely Alternate Universe. Sorry for a grammar error, or spellings. As for error, English is not really my native language. So will you excuse me pleaseu?
Summary: As she reached her 12th Grade in Senior High in her school, she still thinks the person who just made a 'Pinky Swear' onto her in her 7th Grade in Junior High, wondering where he went though. She knows that they exactly loved each other, still, she waits for him even though 4 years have passed. She still holds onto that Pinky Swear of them.
OST (Official Soundtrack): 指切り (Yubikiri) — "Pinky Swear" by Hatsune Miku
She saw her school once again, the school which he had also graduated for being a Senior High. The Tomoeda High, the school which she believes that, she must graduate her Senior High also as he did. She bit her lower lip, still trying to stop her sigh. In her hands, she's gripping her school bag, which is a suitcase style, instead of a bag pack style. The one she had in her 4th, 5th, and 6th Grade way back before. And she also wears the school's signature girl uniform, well it's a simple uniform. It composed of a blue sailor collar, with a white border with a two padding away from the edge of the collar, at the bottom of the collar there goes a red cloth, it looks like a ribbon, but it wasn't exactly ribbon look, only but knotted cloth. The skirt who was just a lower thigh length, with a pleated style, not forgetting it also have a border arount it with a two padding away once again for the skirt's edge.
She is approaching the school once again, the huge building, contained many facilities around it. She was always ready for another day, but there are really times that, she's asking herself if she can handle another day. It was already four fucking years, still, will she just wait for his return for nothing? She's really in the middle of conflict right now, but the swear tells her to wait for more, He'll come. He do, the swear. Yeah, the swear. If she'll question the typical people around her, probably they'll say that she should already stop waiting for someone who'll never return, but the stupid swear did made her like this, if she'll tell, people would think that's she's not crazy, but rather a 'mad' person.
The person who just made the swear already did graduated from this school, she was already in her twelfth Senior High, still no signs of his return. He just suddenly vanish out in the middle of nowhere, when she was in her eighth Junior High, but she pretty knew him very well in her seventh Junior High. That's actually where they have their emotions to each other, love? She's certain it was, those hugs, kisses, and the words he always said to her. It was really undoubtful to be very honest.
Maybe if I'll graduate… he'll return. We will be the same now. The only thing in her mind now, was to graduate this last year of her Senior High. She have already high hopes, although in her heart there's still of very low percent that he'll return. The thing is, her mood easily shifts, there are really times she wanted to quit, but then remembering things that they done, she shouldn't.
Digging more into her, she's actually an unhappy person who's living in this planet called 'Earth.' There are really times before that, she wanted to kill herself, rather than submitting herself to those unknown men who just stole her body and soul away from her. She really lost her sanity, because in reality, she's a prostitute. Life has been cruel to her from the beginning, an orphan who just happen to stumble in a bitter fate. She's still a student, but she's really involved in compensated dating, and of course entertaining her guest—in another way. She actually smiled secretly, recalling memories of her, why did she even studied in school, if it's really risky that she's a real-time prostitute, students might spread bad things about her which will ruin her reputation.
She actually studied here, because she wanted to chase her dreams. She's really afraid if she'll loose it, that was her only one fear, beside of dreaming nightmares in the middle of the night which the moon shines itself or not. Her dreams is not having her own career, which typical students wants it in that way, but instead, dreaming the man whom she thinks that he was her savior. The man who only respects her, being a human being, not just a trash that, after you used the material you'll just throw it away like it didn't have any sentimental value left. She actually absorbed herself being in that way, a trash, but that mindset of hers didn't actually last forever.
If you're wondering how did they met, and how did the man of her dreams swears a pinky swear to her, although it's really too childish thing to do?
Remembering back those days, trying to reminiscing those amazing pieces of memories of hers, she did recalled that, she's really desperate of having a money. Since, she was really tortured by the lady who runs this illegal business, yes, illegal. A seven letters, but only a one word. After all, she accepted the fact that, her life will just evolve that way. Finding her prey, it was the man of her dreams, trying to seducing him all over, but he left a heart-breaking words at her. It hit like a hard hammer, but it was true anyway. Leaving her hurt, but this frank words made her to be interested at that man of her dreams who rejected her easily.
Usually at this point, men can't urge her beauty, as a result of leaving her dirty once again; but then again, he's really different. She'll definitely get to know about him… for more.
At this time, probably 'some' people would actually think that, a boy must be a playboy, and a girl must be a hard-to-get. She thinks that the situation in her, is reversed, like she was the playgirl while he was the one who's hard-to-get. She did really looked like a creep following him, despite that she's really receiving amount of punishment by her shitty boss. Her instincts say that he's not really attached to girls, but she noticed he's talking to another man (probably his best friend, or rather his boyfriend?! Who knows what's his sexuality?), she doesn't have a clue at all who was him. She doesn't also have an idea that, there were rumors around the school, that her man of her dreams is absolutely a gay.
Sure, she's really pissed whenever girls talked to him, like they were bunch of crazy fangirls who's giving him a gift everyday, but none of those girls who moved him. Let's say, maybe those insecure boys who had started the rumors about him, since he's just really talking to a one man. And looks like, he's really enjoying talking with him. She did realized herself that she's also glaring the man who's with him, he's hard to reach. Like the stars she often look whenever the night's deep as the ocean, it's calming her.
Her breath twitched once again, as she felt a weak rain dropped at her lunch box, but that's really weird. She had two lunch box, as she knew herself very well, she doesn't eat a bunch of food. Whenever she did, she'll just throw up herself. The rain gives a signal that it'll definitely start to pour down to the surface. The other lunch box was remained untouched, Man, this will definitely spoiled once again. She made a cute pout without anyone else notice that, she's really pretty cute. The untouched lunch box is definitely for him, although she knows he wasn't around, she still makes the same thing all over again with his favorite dishes (as what he stated when they get to know each other). It's really, really foolish for her to do that.
And yes, her untouched lunch box's foods will rot once again, although it's really bad to waste such a wonderful blessing. What's the sense of a rotten food? It already turned into a poison, it's not really edible to eat.
School ends, and students are freely to leave the school once again, but the thing is, they have their umbrellas on. She's also walking with an umbrella with her right hands, like the left is carrying her bag, as what said, it's like a suitcase style. She can feel the coolness of the water which lightly taps at her shoes, some of the water eventually made her socks wet. She stopped her steps when an arm barrier blocked her to stop, because about less than minute the train will pass by in the rails. She saw the red circled light from the train's light semaphore, it obviously means that you shouldn't yet cross the rails.
It felt like she's thinking about that man deeply. How their fingers exactly intertwined, whispering his promise that he won't leave a girl like her that the world fully rejects that she's really a total crap. Right, the Pinky Swear which she still believes, having a foolish-like faith believing every man's words. Some of her part says that she's a total foolish (how could a girl be ever loved who doesn't have a sepcial purpose in her live?), very vows can be broken easily, but a part of her which is really strong that they truly loved each other, and swore with their pinky finger.
嗚呼 あたし恋をして (Ahh— I'm inlove)
She remembered that this year, she'll become a fully woman, she's going 18 within this year. She secretly smiled under the umbrella she's holding, she promised him also that she'll definitely offer her body into him. Rather than being his typical boy, he's a special one, and made herself special within that day comes. Reminiscing the day that she forced herself to be fucked by him, but sure, he's really hard-to-get, he respects her very much. She's really certain, that he doesn't want to hurt her anymore in any possible ways. She swore that into her pinky finger, but she didn't really mention to him that it was her promise, when she turned 18th, she would give herself to him.
Although past seemed haunted her, he was truly a light to her, and she didn't bothered anymore to live in that way. Being a prostitute for everyone, but instead, she's just giving the best that she could to cook for some people or her neighborhood for money. They did enjoyed her food a lot, wondering if she's going to open up a restaurant, but her budget wasn't enough for that. Also, she's really lucky enough that she's a full scholar in her school, of course her undying passion of completing the school which the man of her dreams graduated with flying colors.
She was startled when the wind blows a real hard-time, as her red umbrella flew away somewhere, but she's thankful the skies calmed down now. Maybe it's just the train's fault of calling the strong wind as it passed by the rails which made her umbrella flew away. After the train went, there were two people who's sharing under an umbrella, they look like happy as she can based on their giggles. She assumed it was a lovers, a man and a woman. One of them closed the umbrella which protected them against the rain a while ago, but there she stood in surprise, she's completely in daze, when she saw the man who's under the umbrella.
"S-Syaoran." She muttered, almost not believing that he's right there, in front of her. Only a few meters away from her.
Finally giving an attention in front where the man was supposed to go, he was totally dumbfounded what he saw in front of him after the train passed by. Causing the arm barrier to unblock the way of crossing the train's rail.
Ah, she's right, his name was Li Syaoran. As she could tell, he's really a Chinese man who came from Hong Kong. For her, something changed about him, still, she can recognize her. To her perspective, he came more handsome and attractive as ever, way back then. He wasn't wearing now the Tomoeda High's uniform, more like he's wearing casual outfit. She knows that he's really rich, their family's name is really quite popular among their place, Clan of Li, which is one of the business family things in Japan dominates. She don't really know how he does today, since it's been four years. She didn't even have a device that can communicate or research him that, where is he really now.
After being dazed at him, she returned a smile. Somewhat, a smile that is really happy to see him, and this means no coincidental event. And half of it seems a nonchalant one.
Still Syaoran couldn't even take a single step to move forward, if he continues to be like that, the train would probably come once again. Closing the opportunity to cross the street of rail. The girl whom he walked him pats his back, "Is there something wrong?" That girl! She was Kinomoto Sakura, no one would even dare to stay beside him except for her!
Trying to keep her cool, still showing that she's smiling in a nonchalantly way. The girl was blinking in an innocent way, which for Sakura it was flirtatious. She's filled with disgust, like she wanted to pull Syaoran away and ask where he have been, and who's that ugly girl beside her?
"N-Nothing, let's keep going then, shall we?" Both of them walked pass away from Sakura. Leaving her at the air, like she's nothing at all?
She looked back, enduring the eye-sore from her eyes, that the ugly girl is clinging into his arms! That should be supposed to her! Getting tired of looking them, as returned back at the rail, beating the yellow and red light. She looked at her pinky at her right hand, this is where their swore was made.
She's truly certain that the boy was Li Syaoran, the man of her dreams whom she made a contract a pinky swear with her.
"I swear that, I'll love you always, and marry you in the right time, Kinomoto Sakura." He felt like his eye sore, it's like a light is already waking him up. He heard his voice, the swear that he'll only love and marry a one person through his left pinky finger, it was Kinomoto Sakura who's already in her 12th Senior High. He attempts to rub his temples, like he's a problematic man than ever. Yes, he knows that four years have passed away, but still the glow within his heart is undying for Sakura, but he surely knows that it's really now impossible to be with her now.
He's a business man now, and definitely marrying a rich man's daughter that can increased their wealth and power for more. He's moving his pinky finger in his left hand, as he looked at the girl beside him that, Sakura managed to see within her two eyes that they were together. He wanted to talk Sakura within the last chance, after that he will never see her again, which really sucks.
He sighed, like he's really tired of this life, "I can't have you a man like me, I don't deserve you. There are many man who's even better than me who just totally fucked up." He is really talking to Sakura, while staring at his reflection in the morning window of his room.
He really don't like this—he do think Sakura's better choice is to leave a bad man like him, he's engaged, soon enough to marry and carry his children to the girl whom he can't even love, and most of all he made a swear, vow, or promise under their pinky finger, but he lied to her—which made it even worst.
She's truly grateful and happy that finally, Syaoran returned back, she's probably assumes that he's back once again from his house where he usually go out back in his 12th Senior High. She actually didn't notice the smile formed into her lips, the lips which is delicious as a strawberry dipped with whipped cream. She's holding a kitchen knife from her right hand, chopping off the carrots; she's going to make another lunch box for him.
"This wouldn't go to waste anymore," She happily chirps, as she turned down the radio, the one who creates some noises, maybe a commentary or music. "I think before a lunch box, I should offer myself first, before anything else." She drops the kitchen knife, leaving it to the chopping board. She went to her room.
The place where she stays, it's really an old house, it feels like nostalgic to Japanese History whenever people sees this house. An old traditional Japanese house, sure, there were also a lot of traditional house like hers, but her house is definitely different. It feels like, anytime this house would crush off easily with a single shake of an earthquake. It really looks creepy—the interior and exterior of the house, she lied down at the wooden floor first, thinking about Li Syaoran's return. The swear they've made, but why do she feel stressed out? She accidentally looked up seeing the fish bowl from the table, the two goldfish are just chilling themselves through the water.
That's right!
The two goldfish were them, the one is her, and the one is him. They both won a goldfish in some shrine festival, way back before he completely disappeared after his graduation in Tomoeda High. She smiled looking at the two goldfish, and went to her room, changing her clothes. She needs to be really pretty this time! She will definitely offer herself, as she swears in the pinky also—secretly.
"Sakura," She heard outside of the creepy house that, someone is calling her name. She smiled secretly, she definitely knows whose voice is that. "You weren't here?" He asked once again, probably there's a part of him—assumes she wasn't really home.
She didn't respond, instead she respond opening the sliding door.
今宵は貴方のため この身を授けましょう貴方とは特別なの これは世辞（せじ）とか 口説（くぜつ）じゃないの (Tonight, for you, I offer up this body, with you it's special. This isn't flattery or lip service)
I missed you, I really did. Syaoran thought of himself, he wanted to say sweet nothings at the girl who's just rocking herself into his. He could clearly see that, her eyes were half-lidded, she's panting like there's no tomorrow, and the rosy cheeks which made him moan too. He can reminisce how he controlled himself like a fool not to make love with her within a young age. He wanted to respect her so badly, now, he badly needs her. She becomes more prettier than before, maybe puberty strikes her that much, they way she breaths and whispered sweet moans at his ears, make him want to go deeper and hard.
He also did tried methods to forgot her after he graduated, he definitely become a fuck boy who just completely fucks girls, tasting each one of them, finding who's tastier than Sakura. He miserably failed, nobody can duplicate her, just no one can! He turned into a playboy who plays a rollercoaster rides of each every girl, made her mother come into conclusion of getting an arranged marriage to make him disciplined. His mother thought he changed in that way, but he totally wears a mask of being happy with his future wife gonna be.
"If you wear mask, you can't ever be happy."
That quote hit his head so hard, he's reading too much of books, that he stumbled upon reading that quote. He knows how Sakura hates books so much when she's entered school, he helped her through studying, but now, he wonders how her study goes well. He hoped that she's clearly doing fine as him.
"Why aren't you saying a-anything?" She questioned him, it's actually making her sad, it feels Syaoran didn't missed her at all. Still she won't stop rocking herself to him.
Her words actually brought him into his senses, as he hugged her tight, making her stop to rock into his. "I'm sorry, but I can't be with you." His jaw clenched so hard that, he wants to cry for her. If he had only a chance, he would definitely return the time back then. She doesn't derserve like me, I'm such a bastard.
"W-Why?"
This time, he didn't respond to her question, he's just hugging her. The way he hugs tells her how much he missed her—desperately. He felt tears started to trickle within her cheeks that are still rosy hue colored, and dropped at his toxic chocolate hair. He wanted to tell her many times how he was sorry, he loved her, and missed her.
He stopped hugging her, lowering his head down to avoid Sakura looking at him, with his eyes that are misty-eyed. He completely stands up, trying to slide the door, but Sakura stopped him by hugging his well built back. Shaking her head, indicating that please stay.
"That pinky swear… you won't break it right?" He didn't respond to her question yet, "Do you think my love for you is doubtful?"
"It's not anything like that—"
誠（まこと）の恋と呼ばぬなら 今 示しましょう 愛の証を (If you don't think this is true love, let me show you proof)
"—I'm already engaged… I'm having my wife soon enough, I don't deserve you Sakura," She saw the ring at his right ring finger. The proof that, he's already engaged with someone else. "You do deserve someone else, better than me,"
She tried her best not to make her smile so stiff, "I also have a proof that you'll only love and marry me," she showed the pinky finger at her right hand. She made an exasperated sigh, "so this swear is already broken?" But she doesn't any response back from Syaoran, "Ha ha," she chuckled—darkly, "I'm more than prepared." This is very optional for Sakura to do if everything turned into shits that she framed. Syaoran is more than surprised when he saw a knife within Sakura's left hand.
If a one person breaks the promise they did with the other person that was sealed by doing a pinky swear, must cut their pinky finger. Yeah, a traditional way to do.
"Cut it," finally a voice coming from Syaoran, offering his left pinky finger swear he did swore back then.
She clenched her jaw, trying to stop the grit within her teeth, "So you really want to break it in this way? Syaoran? Do you really want to part away from me?" Her tears can't stop rolling from those precious cheeks of hers that Syaoran wanted to kiss and lick until it would deserve his mark that Sakura's definitely his. "You want that girl?!" He wanted to say no…
"Yes." He really don't want to say yes from his sinful lips of his.
貴方の目に映るものすべて 憎く見えるのあたし以外は見ないで (Everything reflected in your eyes stirs hatred in me. Don't look at anything else but me)
She screamed in agony and fear, she doesn't want him to be anyone else's! "NOO! Don't you dare look at anything else but me!" She's losing her sanity as she started to stab him with a kitchen knife, he felt pain from those stabs, but it's more painful when he's going to the front of an altar, when it's not Sakura whom he's going to marry. "Nobody owns you! No one can!" She continues to torture him with knife, "If I can't have you, no one can!" She wakes up into her senses, when she heard Syaoran is coughing. The blood, coming out from his mouth.
She widened her eyes, as she looked into herself, holding a knife, stabbing him many times. She felt like a monster for the first time, she dropped the kitchen knife she used. Covering her parted lips with shaky hands of hers, witnessing how she used that knife to stab Syaoran.
"It's better this way, S-Sakura," he whispered with a low hoarse voice, trying his best to say his final words before he could pass away with this Earth, "rather than marrying a person whom I don't love… I love—"
She wanted to hear the rest, but she failed to hear it. Which made her scream in pain and agony, as she rushed herself t Syaoran's carrying his head and shoulders, resting it into her leg's thighs. Hugging him with tears. She held Syaoran's left hand, trying to intertwin her right pinky into his, "You have swear! You're a bastard Syaoran! You left me!" She tried using hurtful words to him, but it's no use, he wouldn't stay awake.
She bit her lower lip hard as it bled, you can see her pinky finger separated from her hand. The blood flows into it, she didn't scream or yelp in pain.
嗚呼 あたし貴方なら髪切りも爪剥ぎも超えて 指切りするわ交わして 変わらぬ愛を (Ahhh—If I were with you, forget haircuts or tearing out my nails. I'd cut off my pinky, as proof our love won't change)
"You bastard, you didn't even finished it," looking at him with a smile, "I love you too as well."