Summary: Twitchy and Jack stumble onto a boy's dangerous game of hide and seek.

Acknowledgements: Based somewhat loosely on Chuck Dixon's classic TPB, _The
Gauntlet_. (Sorry, Chuck.);)

Rating: G

Disclaimer: Batman and Robin are owned by DC Comics and Time/Warner; however,
Twitchy and Jack are mine. If you want to play with them, just ask. I know
they'd love to play in someone else's backyard for a change. This is an original
story that does not intend to infringe on any established copyrights. Feedback
is welcome!

Copyright: February 2003

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Hide and Seek
By Syl Francis

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"Remember--no talking! Got it?"

Twitchy nodded solemnly. He hated it when Jack turned purple from apoplexy. The
brothers pulled identical black ski masks over their faces. Soon, they were
running down the vast, empty expanse of the Gotham City National Bank entrance
foyer.

It was shortly after 4:00 a.m., and the imposing building was deserted.

"Not a creature was stirring. Not even a mouse--! *Ow*!" Twitchy stood, rubbing
his head, a look of abject hurt in his eyes. Jack held Twitchy by the collar and
was pulling him down to his eye level.

"I *told* you--no talking!" Jack had a homicidal glint in his eyes.

"I'm sorry, Jack," Twitchy said contritely. After a moment of giving his younger
brother additional cause to worry over his health, Jack released him.

"And *stay& quiet!" Not bothering to see if Twitchy was following him, Jack
moved quickly and silently across the highly glossed, marble-floored atrium.
Soon, he stopped before an imposing security door, and reaching into his
burglary toolkit, took out a special set of tools.

"It's just that it sure is thoughtful of you to do this for Ma," Twitchy said,
blithely unmindful of his brother's murderous rage. "Robbing the Gotham National
Bank--even if it's only this tiny branch in some out of the way seedy
neighborhood--it's just like old times, huh?"

About to explode at Twitchy for continually ignoring the 'No Talking' rule, and
annoyed at the just a 'tiny branch' in a 'seedy neighborhood' comment, Jack
hauled back with a closed fist, when inexplicably an 'I give up' expression came
over him. Sighing in defeat, he dropped his fist and mumbled, "Well...it is for
Ma after all."

"Yeah...the loot will sure make a nice Valentine's Day gift for her," Twitchy
agreed sentimentally. "Better than those flowers you stole from that funeral
home last year, huh? That 'Rest in Peace' card you gave her sure didn't go over
too well. But like I always say, 'It's the thought that counts,' right?"

Glaring up at his brother, Jack decided to let the comment slide, and instead
bringing Twitchy back to the job. "Keep a sharp lookout--" Jack reminded him,
and before Twitchy could reply, added, "--and *no* talking!"

Twitchy's mouth, which he'd opened in order to reply, snapped shut. He nodded
nervously, and assumed what he considered to be his 'lookout' position--
partially hunched over at the waist, his right hand shading his eyes.

Jack rolled his eyes and shook his head. Why couldn't I have been an orphan, he
commiserated for the hundred-millionth time? Taking his customized drill, Jack
set to work. Ten minutes later, they were in. Ten minutes after that, they were
hurrying out the way they'd come in. Ten seconds after that, Jack tripped over
an invisible wire strung out at ankle level, and fell with a ~whumph!!~ to his
knees. Instantly, Twitchy landed on top of him, their arms and legs entangled.

"What the--!?" Jack cried out. "Twitchy, get *off* me!" Confused, Twitchy
managed to disentangle himself and sat back, giving his brother his hurt, puppy-
dog look. Before long, Twitchy was shaking his head and tsking in disapproval.

"Jack, you promised that you wasn't gonna take any more nips before a heist. You
remember how sometimes Ma used to get blitzed right before a robbery? It would
take at least two of the gang to haul her back to the getaway car."

"Shut up, Twitchy!" Jack snapped. "I wasn't drinkin' nuthin'! Some Wiseguy's
laid out a tripwire--" He pointed at the hard-to-see filament.

"A tripwire?" Twitchy gasped. "You mean--?"

"Yeah...we ain't alone in here," Jack muttered. "Someone's watchin' us, bro. So
shut up and listen."

"Yeah, shut up and listen," Twitchy mumbled.

"Remember to do what I do," Jack instructed.

"Right, do what you do."

"Let's go," Jack ordered. Nodding, Twitchy followed him, tiptoeing carefully in
synch with his brother. When Jack stepped out with his right foot, Twitchy
mirrored his move. Left foot, right foot. Both men moved at a crouch in a slow
awkward dance, Jack in the lead, Twitchy fearfully bringing up the rear.

They walked this way for what seemed an eternity, when Jack suddenly stopped.
Not expecting it, Twitchy bumped into him almost sending him sprawling. Jack,
the more agile of the two, successfully kept his balance. Giving his brother a
dark glare, Jack pointed at the floor. Running across it was yet another
tripwire. Pointing fingers at his eyes, Jack then pointed down at the floor,
meaning: Keep a sharp lookout.

Twitchy gave him a blank stare: Huh?

Rolling his eyes, Jack sighed. Taking a deep breath, he leaned in closer to his
much denser younger brother and explained in a low, exasperated voice, "Keep a
sharp lookout for any more traps."

Twitchy nodded enthusiastically. Then, carefully with exaggerated movements,
Jack lifted his right foot and placed it toe first on the other side of the
tripwire. He next followed suit with his left foot. Finally, he turned and
waited for Twitchy to do the same.

Once they were both safely across, Jack again pointed meaningfully at his eyes,
and this time Twitchy nodded excitedly in understanding.

The next instant--neither was ever quite clear on what exactly happened--both
men were trussed up back-to-back and swinging from the ceiling. One minute they
were walking cautiously, avoiding any more possible traps. The next, they were
being attacked from seemingly all sides by some weird, bat-shaped object, which
trailed a long, black cable after it. Before long they were tied up together,
and being hauled up towards the ceiling. Struggling uselessly against their
sturdy bonds, they watched as a brightly clad youngster tied the end of the
ultra-thin rope to a heavy-duty door handle.

"There! *That* oughtta keep you for a while!" the little boy said with a giggle.

Wracking his brains for a moment, Jack thought the boy's laugh sounded vaguely
familiar. Noting the mask he was wearing and the bright yellow, red, and green
costume, Jack felt a sudden chill shoot up his spine. It looked like something
out of a circus--like a clown suit, or something.

Clown suit...? Like in the Joker, he wondered? Could this be the Joker's kid? If
so, could the Joker himself be far off? Then, realizing that he was at the mercy
of what appeared to be fourth grader, Jack felt his face grow hot. Taking deep
breaths, he attempted to hold his considerable temper in check.

"Who are you, kid," he demanded, in his best, 'I eat kids for breakfast' voice.
The boy shot him a knowing grin, which showed he wasn't in the least bit
frightened of them. "Where'd you come from anyway?" Jack asked. "Shouldn't you
be home in bed? Does your mother know you're out here?"

"You leave my mother out of it," the boy warned. He glared up at Jack, his eyes
narrowed and small chin jutted out. Trying to take advantage of what he
perceived as a weakness in the boy, Jack glared back. Soon they were in the
midst of a staring contest. To his annoyance, Jack was the first to blink.

"Where did I come from, you asked?" the boy taunted with a wicked grin. He
pointed up at the ceiling. "You two losers were so busy looking down, you never
bothered to look up."

That did it! Jack thought he was going to choke on the blood that suddenly
rushed to his head. He opened his mouth to blast the kid, but he couldn't get
any words out. From behind him, he felt Twitchy shaking his head accompanied by
a soft, "Tsk-tsk."

"Jack, your blood pressure," Twitchy warned.

"If I get my hands on that kid, I'm gonna--" Jack grunted, but was interrupted
by the boy.

"I can't stay long," he said with a laugh. "I only came in 'cause I spotted you
guys from the building across the street. Don't you know better than to break
into a bank in Crime Alley? You're just askin' to be caught!" He stood looking
up, scrutinizing the two inept bank robbers, and obviously finding them far
short of expectation, shook his head. "Batman told me that the crooks in Gotham
City were the most dangerous ones in the *whole* country. I guess you must be
from out of town or something."

"Uh, yeah, we are," Twitchy said with a friendly smile. Then fearfully, asked in
a small voice, "Did you say, 'Batman'?"

"Yeah, he'll be here 'fore long. See, we're playing hide'n seek."

"Hide and seek?" Jack asked, not understanding.

"Yeah, I'm supposed to hide from him for a whole night, and he's supposed to try
to find me. But he won't," he added with confidence. Jack and Twitchy exchanged
disbelieving glances.

"Why would Batman want to find a little kid like you?" Jack asked, openly
skeptical. Then remembering his initial reaction to the boy's giggle asked a bit
timidly (sounding almost like Twitchy for the moment), "Y-You're not the Joker's
kid are you?"

Laughing his high-pitched childish giggle, the youngster doubled over helplessly
for a moment. "The Joker's son--?" he gasped between laughter. "I oughtta make
the ropes tighter for that." Shaking his head, he suddenly stopped laughing. His
entire demeanor abruptly took on a dangerously dark look. With that the boy
frightened them both into wanting to take the straight and narrow for the next
year or so.

"No, fellas. I'm not the *Joker's* son! I'm something much worse! I'm Robin--"

"Robin...?!" Twitchy pshawed. "That don't sound so bad to me." Robin glared at
him, his expression grim.

"When tonight's over, you and all your crooked pals in Blackgate won't think
so," he warned.

"Oh, yeah?" Jack sneered. "And why is *that*, brat?"

"'Cause at dawn, after I've evaded the World's Greatest Detective tonight, and
proved to him once and for all that I'm good enough to survive in this town, I'm
gonna be the Batman's new partner--Robin, the Boy Wonder!"

Robin took a step forward, adding as a simple statement of fact, "And the whole
world will know who I am by this time tomorrow night." He paused and just as
suddenly as before, his expression changed once again, brightening into a wide
boyish grin. "But as for you...when Batman finds you swinging from the ceiling
in another--" He glanced a watch hidden inside his gauntlet. "--two minutes--
it'll be a whole 'nother matter entirely. Of course, things won't go so bad for
you if you tell 'im who caught you. Otherwise...well, otherwise, there's no
tellin' what he'll do to a pair of crooks he finds in Crime Alley. Last pair he
caught..." He shrugged broadly. "It wasn't pretty."

With that, he climbed up onto the window that Jack and Twitchy had planned to
use for their getaway and waved goodbye.

"See ya!"

"No, wait, kid! Uh, I mean, Wonder Boy! You can't *leave* us here!" Jack
protested.

"You mean 'Birdboy,' Jack," Twitchy interrupted helpfully. "Not Wonder Boy--"

"I'm afraid you're both wrong." Both men froze at the deep, deadly voice that
spoke from below. Jack blinked in the dark, trying to make out the source of the
disembodied voice. As he searched, he could sense rather than see that the sky
outside was becoming noticeably lighter. Dawn was but a few minutes away.

"Hey! Whoever you are!" Jack yelled angrily. "We ain't playin' games here. Get
us down or--!"

"Or what?" A frightening figure from a Stephen King novel stepped into the
gloomy twilight of the awakening day.

"Batman!?" Twitchy gasped and then suddenly ceased all his struggles.

"Twitchy?" Jack called fearfully. "Are you all right, bro?"

"He's fainted," Batman explained, a slight smile playing at the corner of his
mouth. Glancing out the window, he saw that the dawn was almost fully upon them.
In an unexpected move, he grabbed the tied end of the rope and released it.
Twitchy and Jack fell to the floor in a heap.

Moaning, Jack looked up at the menacing form of the Dark Knight. "Whatcha do
*that* for?" he whined.

Batman jerked him by the collar and lifted him off his feet. "Gotham is *my*
city," he growled. "And we don't have room for scum like you and your partner
there." Batman shook Jack until his teeth rattled. "You're lucky that I wasn't
the one who caught you tonight, and you'd better pray that I don't *ever* catch
you trying to rob one of the banks in *my* city again!"

Jack shook his head and stuttered in mortal fear. "Oh, no...never! I swear! I'm
goin' straight after tonight. We *both* are! Scout's honor!" Nodding grimly,
Batman threw him back on the floor and called the GCPD. Cuffing the two
securely, Batman turned and was about to leave out of the same window that Robin
had used when Jack called him back.

"Batman...wh-who w-was th-that little kid anyway?" he asked.

As the first rays of the morning sun broke on the horizon, Batman gave Jack an
inscrutable look. Finally, the same small smile that had played on his lips
earlier succeeded in softening his otherwise grim features. Looking out the
window at the new day, he announced with a certain pride: "He's my new partner,
Robin, the Boy Wonder."

The End

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