Synopsis: Placed just after Next Tuesday, Will finds Helen in an unknown room in the Sanctuary to spend Ashley's birthday. They talk and begin something new.
Disclaimer: Sanctuary is not mine and the songs for which this is based off of are not mine but I do think you should listen to them as you read. Mainly the piano version of 'Tourniquet' by Evanescence and the original of 'All I Need' by Within Temptation. Any music by these two bands should be listened too for this piece.
A New Start
Helen Magnus was waiting for the clock to strike. It would strike the day that had started painless for her twenty four years ago, until her water had broken in the middle of a meeting. Today was the day that she had given birth to her daughter, who was gone from her life forever. As the clock struck she got up out of bed and changed from her short silk nightgown into a dress. It was black with a full skirt and a bodice that was like a corset almost, but it allowed her to move and breathe, thank God.
Staring at her reflection in the floor length mirror in her room, and satisfied with the result she cautiously opened the door and looked down the hallways, making sure nobody could see her. The dress was what one would term 'Gothic', in style much like what Helen had seen some of the Gothic rock bands female leads would wear. She liked the music it was upbeat and was still in tune to what she liked, down to the clothing she wished she could wear all the time. It was her secret, the love of two particular bands that her daughter had gotten her hooked on besides Nirvana, though no one would ever catch her listening to them unless she wanted them too.
She made her way down the hall with bare feet liking the feel of the wood floors beneath her feet. She stopped outside a set of French doors and pulled the key from between her breasts. Unlocking the door and entering the room she turned on the lights and closed the door behind her. "Oh Ashley, I miss you so much." She said to the air in the room. She walked across the floor to the other side and sat at the grand piano that was there in the corner. She opened the book of songs there and remembered that it was the piano book for Evanescence songs. She flipped through book and found Tourniquet. She started there and proceeded to play every song in the book marveling at how beautiful the music was.
If she was honest with herself she preferred singing the words and dancing to them, but she loved everything about this, just sitting and playing the piano, immersing herself in the music, allowing herself to be free for a few hours. This day she would spend in this room as she did every other year, on Ashley's birthday, they sat in this room all day and played music, sang, and danced their hearts out.
Will rolled over and looked at the clock. It was one in the morning. He was having another bout of insomnia. He sat up and pulled on some pajama bottoms and decided to walk the halls of the sanctuary. He heard music coming from one of the rooms and realized someone was singing. The music was coming from a piano and he wondered who in the world played here at the Sanctuary. He stopped by the door and listened. The melody was familiar he just could put his finger on it. He silently opened the door only to gasp at the sight he saw.
Helen sat at the piano playing All I Need, by Within Temptation. She was just looping it when it finished she began again and this time she began singing. She knew Will was close to her as she stopped playing and made her way over to the stereo system in the corner and selecting the disc with the song on it. She wanted the full sound of the instruments as she sang the words. Her eyes were closed and she started to sway to the music using her arms to punctuate the verse as she sang with a smooth soprano voice.
Will stood mesmerized as he watched her. The color of her hair and her dress paling her skin more than usual, but it somehow made her more beautiful. She was moving to the music and singing. He had never thought of her as the singing and dancing type but she looked at home here in the room that he had never seen unlocked. He had once questioned Big Guy about it and he said it was the one room that Helen never let anyone touch, it was hers and hers alone, like her rooms.
As the song finished she slowed and let her voice fade away. She turned to look at Will and motioned for him to come in. This was why she had wanted him to stay anyway, for Ashley's birthday. It was part of the reason she had turned Olaf's offer down, that and she couldn't see herself falling for the man's seduction techniques, no matter how long she had been without a lover. If she really felt like being honest with herself, she had been rather jealous that Will had wanted to go to Iceland instead of spending a day with her outside of work. Then again, she hadn't exactly been forthcoming on why she hadn't wanted him to go, until after the helicopter had crashed and she'd blown it to kingdom come.
Will walked forward to the beauty in the black dress that was so unlike his friend. He didn't want to think of her as his boss today. Today she was Helen Magnus the woman, not the doctor. She held her hand out for him to grab. He did. Her hand was warm from movement and playing the piano.
She led him to the piano and sat down motioning him for her to sit beside him as she poised herself to start playing. When the song on the stereo system began again she played a piano part and Will found that the piano was the part that had been missing the first time around. Then she sang with the words.
Will closed his eyes and listened to her voice and the music, amazed at how much like the lead singer she sounded though it was just the fact they were in the same octave range, a high- soprano if he wasn't mistaken. When he opened his eyes, he looked at the woman beside him and noticed she had her eyes closed and was still swaying as she multitasked.
The song ended again and she got up and paused the music then returned to the piano bench and sat next to him. For a long time they sat in silence. Just the sound of their breathing in the room, Will put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her into his side. He had expected resistance from the contact but she readily fell into his side wrapping her arms around his waist and buried her head into his shoulder, breaking down into sobbing. He held her with both arms as she cried her heart out, rubbing circles on her back and rocking her gently.
After sometime he looked at the position she was in and knew that it couldn't be comfortable and so he pulled her onto his lap. He didn't say anything as she cried for the daughter she no longer had. She didn't protest to the movement and soon after that her sobs and tears calmed to muffled hiccups as she breathed, trying to calm down. Her head was resting on his bare shoulder, and she was thankful for the skin contact, it made her feel human. She pulled her head back and smiled a little smile. "Thank you Will, I needed that." She said, wiping tears away with the back of her hand. She rubbed her back some more and smiled back.
"Anytime, you know I'm here for you if you want to talk or cry." He said still rubbing her back looking around the room he noticed that the piano wasn't the only instrument that occupied it. He saw a cello and a violin, a harp, various drums and guitars as well. "Magnus, who do all of these belong to?" he gestured around the room at all the instruments. She smiled again, brighter this time.
"They belong to me, I wanted to learn as a little girl, I started with the piano, cello, and the harp when I was three, then when I had mastered them I began on other instruments and so I began learning them all in my spare time, including the voice. Music is something I love and rarely have the time for. Ashley and I shared this love in common, she learned from me and I broadened my musical horizons. Every year we would spend her birthday in here singing, dancing, and playing the instruments. Ashley was in the orchestral band when she was in school at her insistence, she had already learned the cello and the violin, it was our 'thing' I suppose you could say." She smiled at the memories of her daughter playing the various instruments in the room.
"You're telling me, you can play all the instruments in this room?" Will looked at Helen and she nodded. "Well, which on is your favorite?" he asked. Helen pondered the question before shrugging her shoulders and looking around the room.
"I don't really have a favorite, I like them all though I prefer the more orchestral instruments, like the cello and the piano, though I so enjoy the harp almost as much. It could be because they are the first ones I delved to learn as a child." He nodded at her and then patted her leg to remind her where she was sitting. She blushed and moved off of his lap. "Sorry." She said and he smirked at her obvious discomfort at finding herself on his lap.
"It's okay, I thought my lap might have been more comfortable than bending in that inhuman way and getting stiff." He smiled at her. She nodded and couldn't help thinking about the other ways she would have loved to find herself in his lap, most of those didn't involve clothes though and often resulted in a wetness pooling between her legs waiting for and wanting something she would not get unless she paid a visit to her vibrators.
"Yes, the thought was welcome. So what about you Will, do you play any instruments?" Helen said trying to get her mind off of the subject of his lap and the word 'stiff'. He looked around trying to get the image of Helen Magnus in his lap, in more than inappropriate ways off of his mind when he heard her question and nodded.
"I play the Xylophone and the Marimba." He stated. She nodded and stood up going to the stereo system and starting the music again before moving to the center of the room and holding out her hands to him. he stood and made his way toward her and the music of the nest song started and he was startled to find that it was all piano and it was Tourniquet by Evanescence. They fell into step together and she rested her head on his shoulder during the slow song and they were so close their bodies wee touching. He rested his head on hers and they went in circles hugging each other through the music.
The song ended and another started so they danced until Helen wanted to play again and sing, then he would dutifully sit and listen to her until there was a knock on the door at around seven. Will got up from his place on the bench and answered the door. It was Big Guy with breakfast for two. Will took the tray and went to sit back down but he felt a hand on his shoulder and turned again to see the Big Guy staring at him. "Make sure she eats, ugh ugh, and take care of her in any way she needs it, I'll leave lunch outside the doors at noon, you won't be bothered today." He said gruffly before patting his back and winking at him. "Go get her, Will, she needs you and you are the only one she's going to break down for." All Will could do was nod and return to the piano as Helen played the last keys of the Moonlight Sonata, the fifteen minute version.
"So, I suppose he told you that taking care of me is your job for today?" she turned and quirked a perfect eyebrow up looking at the breakfast trays he was carrying over to the table to set down. She got up and went to join him sitting across from him and uncovering her tray to show an egg omelet with cheese, a biscuit, and toast with tea and apple juice. She smiled. Will frowned thinking about how he never saw her eat any meat. Looking at his own tray he found that he had the same thing only he also had bacon and sausage on his plate.
"Magnus, are you a vegetarian?" he asked her as it suddenly dawned on him. she looked at him and smiled her perfect lopsided smile.
"I had wondered when you would pick up on that, yes Will I am a vegetarian and I have been for the last oh, sixty years or so. That was one thing Ashley and I differed on after she turned twelve and began eating meat. She never did until then, never complained or asked for it until she went to a friend's house one night. The next day she came home and ran into my office crying, I asked her what was wrong; she kept apologizing for eating meat, and liking it. I had never laughed so hard in my life. I told her that it was okay and that she could eat whatever she wanted as long as it had nutritional value and that meat was not lacking in nutrition." Helen smiled at the memory. Will thought back to all the times he had eaten dinner with Ashley, she always had a small amount of meat with her meals.
"So what caused you to turn into a vegetarian?" Will asked. Helen looked at him and smiled a small smile, remembering the night she swore she would never eat meat again.
"I was unfortunate enough to witness and act of violent cannibalism, and the slaughter of an entire village, the next time I ate meat it made me sick, physically ill, so I never touched it again, to this day I still can't stand eating meat, though I have tried I can't quite get rid of the memories." She said carefully judging Will's reactions, they both knew he had a rather weak stomach; she had kept the details as small as possible. But he looked more intrigued than anything.
"So what did you do when you were pregnant with Ashley?" he was aware of the dangerous territory he was approaching but she was talking about her and that's all Will could hope for. She laughed then took a bite of her omelet.
"I drank a lot of protein rich fluids and ate a lot of eggs, I craved them actually. I could tell you things I've eaten with eggs that would turn the most hardened stomachs, that pregnancy was an interesting one, I'll give it that. She never stopped moving, I never stopped craving eggs with grape jelly on them, and even during labor I wanted eggs with grape jelly and kiwi on the side, mangos and other fruits were chosen and I also ate a lot of peanut butter. This was of course after the morning sickness, or between bouts of it." She laughed. This made Will think about how Helen would look, carrying a child. He imagined that she would look radiant and beautiful with a baby bump waddling through the halls or bending over a microscope.
"I bet you looked beautiful while you were pregnant." He let the comment slip before he could catch himself. She snorted into her juice.
"I was the size of a house when I was pregnant, I remember waking up one morning and putting on one of those dreaded maternity shirts, as comfortable as it was, I didn't feel pretty. Nearing term I didn't even feel like a woman." She laughed. "I still have pictures and the videos of her birth." Helen suddenly got up and grabbed Will's arm tugging him from his seat like a child who had something very important to show her parents.
"Okay I'm coming, sheesh Magnus, what are you going to show me?" he said as he jogged to catch up to her. He watched her jog down the hallways turning corners with her skirts flowing behind her. He stopped when she did at her rooms. She motioned for him to follow her in and he did. He gasped at the sight of her room. It was done in sensual colors and there were pictures of her with people over the years and a few portraits of her blonde. He wondered if she dyed her hair or it was a fact of time. "Wow, Magnus, you have great taste." He said, but he noticed that she wasn't listening; instead she was pulling various photo albums off of the shelves in her room and opening them to find the pages she wanted. When she found them all she piled them up and took them to the giant four poster bed and lay them out before hitching her skirts up and climbing on motioning for Will to do the same thing. He readily joined her and stared at the album closest to him. In the picture Magnus was still blonde, she was smiling and her hands were resting on a small but noticeable bump in her mid section. Will thought she was the most beautiful pregnant woman he had ever seen.
He spent several hours looking through the books and listening to the stories behind certain pictures and asking about others. Eventually there was a knock on her door and she got up and answered it. It was Big Guy with the lunch trays; she let him in with a smile. He looked at Will from behind Magnus and winked at him. Will nodded back acknowledging that he was doing everything right. He moved from the bed to the small sitting area where lunch would be eaten.
They finished lunch quickly and sat back to drink their tea. When they were done they picked up the albums and put them back on the shelves before climbing back onto the bed. They lay in silence for awhile until Helen breaks the silence.
"Ashley always asked me on her birthday if she could have a brother or a sister, she always wanted one, now I wish I had given her a sibling, it's strange, I had never thought of children until I found out I was pregnant. Then I never considered more than just her. Now I can't believe I denied her the feeling of a sibling. Or me the wonders of a new child." She sighed rolling onto her side scooting closer to Will to snuggle for body warmth and comfort.
"What stopped you?" Will asked as he pulled her into his side letting her rest her head on his bare chest, he hadn't bothered to get dressed.
"Aside from the fact there was never a man who could give me another child, I was questioned while I was pregnant, about how I could run a network and be a mother at the same time, everyone doubted that I could pull it off. I didn't take maternity leave, even though James insisted on it. I was in a UN video conference when I stood up and started waddling around the desk only for my water to break in front of everyone. They panicked, though looking back I supposed the sight of a very pregnant woman blatantly ignoring the fact that her water broke and continued on with the meeting, assuring everyone she was fine would have been slightly nerve wracking." Helen laughed at the memory.
"Let me guess, you ignored the pain and finished the call anyway?" He looked at her and smiled when he saw the gleam in her eye.
"I became very short tempered so the rest of the meeting went off without a hitch. I cut off my line when the end of the important things of the meeting was over and walked out of the room after the first contraction passed. I walked very calmly up to what is your office now and told James it was time and I'd call him when I needed to push. The next twenty hours were documented because James refused to leave my side when I had a secondary break in my water. It was the only time I ever saw him faint. He saw the water pooling around my feet and he paled then he hit the floor." She chuckled at the memory of James slumping to the floor after he realized it really was time.
"He followed you around for twenty hours fussing over you while you were in labor?" Will knew how much she hated being doted on. Helen looked up at him and nodded.
"I didn't have a choice, he recovered and we set about walking up and down the hallway outside this very room. I spent twenty-six hours in labor but it was worth it and I would do it again to bring a child into the world." She smiled again. "I'd be just as stubborn too." Will raised an eyebrow and looked down at her.
"Magnus, are you saying that you want another child, or that you'll be forever stubborn about those that dote on you?" She raised an eyebrow and kissed him full on the lips. His brain took action and he deepened it sliding his tongue past her lips and teeth to duel with hers. She moved on top of him without breaking the kiss and straddled him. When they broke for air Helen smiled at Will.
"I'm saying both Will and to be honest, lat Tuesday I was very jealous about you and Sigrid. You see, I want you for myself and I'm a little possessive." She confessed to Will. She was surprised when he smirked.
"Magnus, to be honest, I was jealous of Olaf, you see I don't think he is your type, and besides, why fly across half the planet to have sex when you could do it here in the comfort of your home with someone who is more than willing to give you kids and happens to live with you already?" Will smirked as he ran his hands up her sides making her sigh.
"You have a very good point William, however I must tell you that I won't have any issues getting pregnant, I haven't been on birth control for some time now and I conceived Ashley in the first round, I'm very fertile and that hasn't changed and doesn't look like it's going to any time soon, part of the reason I don't usually have sex." She sighed and began rocking her hips against Will as he palmed her breasts through her top. She felt his hardened member through his trousers and lost coherent thought at that time. The last thing she heard before succumbing to her needs was something or other about making a new baby, and she was very ready and willing to do that.
Helen stared at the screen in front of her in the lab. The test was positive. She had wanted a child and Will had been willing, and she had warned him.
She walked to his office with the printed out forms of the tests and knocked on his door before entering. She handed him the clipboard. He read it over and looked at her. "You sure?" he said looking skeptical. They had spent the rest of Ashley's birthday making love, and despite what Helen had said about getting pregnant, he had thought she had been joking.
"Yes love, you got me in the first round, congratulations Daddy." She smirked. Will jumped up and ran to her wrapping her in a hug and spinning her around. "Hey no spinning the pregnant lady, she gets nauseous." Helen said quickly. He stopped and let her go as she ran for the bathroom. 'Yep, she's pregnant, this is gonna be a long nine months' Will thought to himself as he went to hold her hair back.