This is the 13th story in my series.

Disclaimer: I own nothing of the Supernatural universe nor the characters. I'm just playing in their sandbox.

This is my take on the episode 'Two and a Half Men'.

Sitting alone in their apartment while Dean's at work, Lizzy sighs. Nothing on TV, no chores left to do as she's been cleaning and running errands nonstop for a week straight to keep occupied, she just can't find a way to distract herself from her mind.

Sam.

He's been the one and only thing in the forefront of her brain since his mysterious appearance on their doorstep seven days ago. Ever since Lizzy's been wondering about him.

Why did it take him a year to come to them? She certainly isn't buying the whole bullshit excuse of wanting to keep Dean happy and out of hunting. Fuck that. Dean can make his own decisions and besides that she knows Sam would never want to hide from his brother. He'd want to be with him. Those two are so tangled up that his reaction leaves her feeling weird.

Why did he seem so standoffish? At first he wasn't a touchy-feely kind of guy, sure, but over time he grew accustomed to Lizzy and her ways. Hugging him wasn't weird or uncommon, neither was a verbal expression of her love for him. When he was around her days ago he was weird. He didn't return her 'I love you' with a 'you too' before he left and when she'd hug him he didn't melt into it like he used to. Instead he went ridged and awkward. She saw it, she felt it from him even if he tried to play it off.

Why didn't he seem excited to see her? It's been a fucking year! He should have been ecstatic! She had a relationship with Sam that was different than any other relationship they had with anyone else. There's always been a level of unspoken understanding there, one of support and common love. But it wasn't there. He didn't light up when he saw her again like he should have. It was so disappointing.

Why didn't he want to stay with them and get out of hunting? This is the one thing he always wanted out of life. He wanted out! He broke Dean's heart when he went to college and left hunting. He was willing to let his big brother down that hard in order to experience the safety and happiness of regular living yet now he wants to keep with hunting even with the Apocalypse averted? Seriously? That does not compute.

Why wasn't he happy for his brother for living a good, normal life? This is her biggest issue on her list. She heard him ask for this from Dean before the big swan dive. Sam had asked him to leave the life and he did! Why isn't that a good thing anymore? Why would he want Dean back on the road with him again instead of being domestic and just plain comfortable? What the fuck!?

The whole thing just felt so awful and wrong that she's been a mess. Between the two of them she and Dean have logged hours upon hours in the past week researching away their free time. They want answers… and they know they probably won't show up in any book, website, or journal but they tried anyways. They never would let Sam down if there was an answer… and now that he's mysteriously back it all just feels so horribly wrong.

Frustrated, Lizzy stands up from her couch.

"Cassie, let's go!" she calls out into the apartment and she can hear him running to her. Her dog's been camping out during the daytime in the bedroom as it's on the non-sunny side of the building. The recent heat that hit early (it's only the end of May!) has gotten to the overly furry pooch.

But he'll never give up a walk and play time with Lizzy, no matter how hot it is out.

She grabs the tennis ball and his leash at the bottom of the stairs. Latching the leash in place, they head out together. She laughs a bit as she passes the garden hose curled up on the side of their house. The day before she sprayed down Cass after he overheated at the park. He had a blast, running through the spray, biting at the stream, and hydrating while drinking probably too much water. It was a good day, a day where she smiled even with everything going on. Thankfully she still had her best furry friend to help ease the stress Sam's put on her.

Getting only a few houses away, Lizzy's phone rings. She pulls it out of her back pocket and looks at it. She stops mid-stride with the name that pops up on the screen. She didn't expect him to actually stick to the once a week call she made him promise to give her. Huh. Maybe he hasn't changed that much at all.

"So I guilted you good this time around, huh Sam-I-Am?" Lizzy smiles out as she answers his call. The last time he made this promise he broke it. He never called often at all, one time a month at best, once Dean was in Hell. Maybe he still does care about her after all.

"Where's Dean?" His voice sounds rushed and anxious. This clearly isn't a promised check in call. Her heart sinks a little.

"He's at work."

"He didn't answer his phone."

"Yeah… 'cause he's at work," she says with obviousness. Sam's starting to freak her out with the slight panic in his voice.

"Well, I need his help. Now. Uh, actually…" he pauses as she hears him moving around. "I might need your help more."

"What's wrong?"

"I'm working this job…"

"Dude, no…" she starts to protest but he cuts her off.

"Look, I just need you guys with me on this, okay?"

"We're out of the game, Sam," Lizzy sternly tells him. After a week of discussions they came to this conclusion together. More than anything they both want to continue their lives away from hunting. They want a safe existence that'll continue to be happy and promising and, eventually, filled with kids and more family. "We're staying out."

"Make an exception." He punches the demand out so quickly she almost didn't understand it.

"For what?" What could be that important?

"Look, I'm thirty minutes away and I will drive to Dean's garage if you don't agree to help."

"What the fuck Sam!? What's so nuts that you gotta threaten a damn drive by that could get him fired?"

"I have a baby," Sam says to her.

Lizzy pauses for a moment. Did he just really say that? "You have a what?' She needs to know she heard him right.

"A baby. I need your help. You're good with this shit and I don't know what the fuck I'm doing."

"Oh my God," Lizzy's voice lets free without her bidding. She thinks she understands and she grows fearful with the idea. "You have a baby?"

"Yes."

"How?"

"Not something I planned on happening," Sam says, clearly getting impatient with her. The cryptic answer keeps her thinking the wrong thing.

"How could you be so irresponsible, Sam!?" she scolds him with her worries as she thinks about the impact of this change in his life.

"What the hell are you talking about!?"

"When did this happen!?" she asks with shock over the news, pulling back on the leash when Cass tries to keep her moving towards the park.

"Last night."

"Last night!?"

"I found him last night. His mother's dead, something killed her. No idea where the father is. I think it's after him."

She blows out a harsh breath she'd been holding in when it all starts to make more sense. The baby isn't his. "Holy shit," she comments with relief.

"What?"

"I thought you were telling me you had a kid… like the baby was yours." Thank fucking God. That was the last thing they all needed right now and with how weird and cold Sam's been, now is not the time for that kind of fuck up to happen.

"Jesus, Lizzy. Fucking focus here. There's a baby in my car and I don't know what the fuck I'm doing."

"Alright, calm down," Lizzy tells him, her nerves doing the same. "What's after him?"

"Don't know."

"How old is he?"

"I don't know, baby age! The hell does that matter!?"

And she can hear the crying in the background start, Sam's volume clearly upsetting to the baby.

"Shh, don't scare the poor thing!" Lizzy immediately chastises him. "Fuck, you knew you'd rope me in because some kid needs help, didn't you?"

"Was counting on it."

"Fuck you. Fine," she agrees in a quieter, worn down tone. "Head over to the apartment though! Don't go by the garage. I'll call Dean's boss and tell him to send his ass home as soon as he can."

"Good."

And the line is dead. Lizzy pockets her phone after Sam hangs up and looks down to Cass, the dog still looking at her and waiting to go play. She hates to disappoint him.

"Sorry, puppy," Lizzy sadly says to him as she turns around to head back to the apartment. "Rain check on the walk, ok?"

Dean pulls into their back lot in a rush. He sped home after Ellis came into the garage and told him to go home early. He said Lizzy called and needed him. The idea that something could be wrong with her scared the fucking daylights out of him, especially since something came after him at their home just a week ago, and now, as he parks the Impala and can see her standing there waiting for him, he gets more anxious to know what's going on.

"What's wrong?" Dean calls out the second he has the car door open, scrambling out of the driver's seat as quickly as he can.

"We need to talk," Lizzy tells him solemnly as he jogs to her.

"Are you ok?" he asks with fear, looking her hard in the eye as he grabs her by the shoulders.

"I'm fine… but you're brother isn't."

"Oh, Jesus Christ," he rushes out in a sharp exhale. She's fine. "Ok, what's going on with Sam?"

Lizzy looks over his shoulder as Sam's Charger pulls into their lot. "Why don't you ask him yourself?"

Dean turns around in time to see the black car park next to him. As Sam unfolds his tall frame from the driver's seat Dean heads his way.

"What the hell, Sam?" Dean asks, his voice a bit angry to see the hunter at his place again. It didn't work out so well last time. "What's this about?"

"I need you and Lizzy to help me with this case," Sam explains before turning to look at Lizzy. "You didn't tell him?"

"He just got here. Didn't have the chance."

Sam grumbles a swear under his breath.

"So…!?" Dean asks with sheer impatience.

"Check it out," Sam says, jerking his thumb in the direction of the back seat of his car.

Dean glares at Sam, distrust ruling his better judgment, and moves to peer into the car. What he sees is something he certainly wasn't ready for.

"What the fuck is that!?" Dean nearly shouts at his brother.

"I think they call them babies," Sam flatly responds right back.

"Yeah, I know what it is," Dean rolls his eyes at his own stupid question. "Why the fuck do you have it?"

"I think something's after it," Sam quickly explains. "I found him in his house after fighting off whatever was there to take him. His mother was torn to shreds. There've been a string of these weird baby-nappings. The parents end up dead and the kids are nowhere to be found. I know it's our type of thing…"

"Your type of thing," Dean corrects, his face set in a hardened scowl that lets Sam know he'd better not make the mistake again.

"Ok, my type of thing," Sam goes along with the correction. "And I need your help."

"Why mine?"

"Because…"

"Oh! Look at you, little man!" Lizzy coos as she lifts the baby out of his car seat. While the brothers had been talking they hadn't paid attention to what Lizzy was doing. She raises him in the air above her head and laughs. "You are just too adorable!" The baby smiles wide at her with the attention and she pulls him down into her. While holding him, resting him on her hip, she fusses over him while already falling for the cute little guy. "Who in their right mind would come after you, huh? Who? With this cute little face?"

Sam looks back to Dean and they share a look of understanding just like they always used to.

"I need Lizzy."

"I can see that," Dean submits. Sam's smart. Lizzy is definitely needed right now.

"I can't take care of him. I have no idea what to do."

"Alright, fine," Dean acquiesces, knowing that Lizzy won't leave the little boy now that she's met him. She's all in and he's certainly not letting her go by herself.

Dean walks over to her and stands next to her, looking the baby over.

"Oh God, I could eat him right up!" Lizzy laughs a little as she pulls his hand to her lips pretends to do just that, the baby laughing with her silliness.

"Seems to be exactly the problem, doesn't it?" Dean says to her with the current issue in front of them.

"How could anything do something so terrible like that?" Lizzy asks him, peeling her focus off of the baby for just a moment.

"You wanna help out?" he asks in a heavy voice.

"You already know that answer," she said in a light, silly tone as she makes a face at the baby.

"Fuck," Dean complains. He looks to Sam with his hands on his hips. "Alright, so what do we know about this thing?"

"Well, uh, it was fast and it freaked when I cut it with silver," Sam answers as he recalls what he remembers from the fight.

"Alright, so that narrows it down to..."

"A ghoul? A zombie, a shifter… or about a dozen other things."

"I don't recall seeing baby-napping in the profiles."

"Yeah, exactly."

Dean looks at the baby, his big eyes looking right back up at him as he smiles toothlessly from within Lizzy's arms.

"Well feel free to speak up if you know anything."

Lizzy laughs as the little boy just settles in with his new crew, not at all upset by the unfamiliar faces around him and being completely comfortable with Lizzy right off the bat.

Something hits Dean's nostrils just then and he scrunches his nose. Going on a hunch, he leans down and takes a whiff of their new buddy's lower half. "Oh God! Dude, you stink!"

Lizzy laughs hard at her husband's reaction. "Yeah, that's gonna happen."

"What, he's gonna shit his pants?"

"Well, his diaper, but yes. He's a fucking baby, Dean. That's what they do." She laughs a little more when she gets a look at both of their faces as they stare at her with horror. "Wow. Ok. Relax guys. I'll volunteer as diaper changer."

Sam sighs in relief. "And that's exactly why I needed to come here."

"No kidding," Lizzy smiles out. "But that just means we probably need to get some supplies."

"I've got an arsenal in the trunk," Sam assures her that he's packed to the gills with weaponry and ready to go.

"I don't think she means that kind," Dean points out to his brother, knowing what Lizzy means. When they both watched after Lizzy's friend's son he realized how much work and money goes into caring for a baby. Diapers and bottles and powers and butt paste… fuck, it was a lot. It didn't scare him or deter him from wanting that for himself per say but it was an eye opener.

"We should get going," Lizzy says as she turns back around and ducks into the car, putting the baby back into its car seat. "He needs to be changed a.s.a.p."

Sam nods and walks to the driver's side of the car, agreeing with them. Once everyone is in his car and Dean put their prepacked-by-Lizzy duffels in the trunk, Sam starts the engine. The second he does there's a loud beeping noise heard in the cab.

"Seatbelt," Sam directs to his brother.

Dean's annoyance level couldn't be higher. "What am I, in third grade?" he asks while clicking his seatbelt in place. "A car should drive, not be a little bitch."

"This is gonna be a blast," Lizzy sarcastically says to her little friend in the back seat as he smiles up to her. "Oh boy!"

"There you go, kiddo," Lizzy says to the baby suddenly in their charge as she straps him into the grocery store cart baby seat. She pulls his little hoodie over his head on instinct alone when she realize how cold it is in there. "This kid is too freakin' cute for words."

Dean looks over at her, catching the overjoyed expression on her face, and immediately starts walking off to find the aisle that contains all the baby stuff. She's getting attached. With this kid in clear danger and not knowing how this is going to end, her already there affection for him can't be a good thing.

Lizzy pushes the cart behind Dean, following him along the way. With one hand she pushes and steers and the other she lets the little boy gasp onto her finger with his tiny little hand. The poor thing already lost his mother. Any contact she can give him, any form of warmth or feelings of protection and love have to be a good thing for him right now. He may be too young to understand but the road ahead for him is not going to be a smooth one. Making it something positive right now is the least she can do.

"Alright, I'm pretty sure that there's some kind of paste or jelly you're supposed to put on their butt…" Dean says once they're in the aisle and looking around.

"Right next to your head," Lizzy nods to him and Dean turns to look. His focus goes right past the bright yellow box.

"Let me," she laughs and steps around the cart. She grabs the box and tosses it into the cart for him. "You watch him and I'll grab what we need quick. Don't want Sam getting too impatient in the car." She then grabs a box of diapers for his appropriate size and age and puts it in the cart as Dean stands in front of the baby. They make eye contact for a second and he just raises his eyebrows once at the little guy… and he smiles right back.

"He's kinda happy, isn't he?" Dean comments while Lizzy looks around at all the options in front of her.

"He's awesome," she comments, pulling a canister of formula off a shelf and reading through the description to be sure it's appropriate for him. "All he's done is smile and be all cuddly."

Dean just looks down at him some more, watching him look around with wide, big eyes. His hands reaching out randomly when he likes what he sees. He's utterly fascinating to watch.

When he pulls his focus off of the baby Dean sees how many items are in the cart already.

"We need all that?"

"Definitely," Lizzy says to him with full confidence as she drops a package of two soft blankets in.

"So how do you know all this?"

"Instinct, mostly," Lizzy explains quickly. "And when my cousins were born I was already a teen. I babysat them a lot and learned a ton from it."

"Huh…" he responds but stops when he notices the baby squirming in his seat. And then he starts fussing, noises of discomfort and discontent clearly coming on fast. "Uh-oh," Dean comments. "Alright, we gotta get moving. We've got the waterworks in like, T-minus ten."

"Yeah, okay," Lizzy says while making a concerned face when she looks at the baby. "You go. I'll grab everything else and catch up."

And without another word Dean is off. The last thing he wants is a tantrum with this baby. No unwanted attention needed.

With arms filled with bottles, wipes, powder, and God knows what else, Lizzy hustles down to the checkout line that Dean's in. She dumps everything into the cart quickly before looking around. The line is a couple people deep at every checkout. No easy way out on this one. At least Dean had the presence of mind to pick the one that would go the fastest according to how many items the people in front of them have.

And then the good times come to an end. The baby starts crying.

"Shit," Dean complains as he looks down at him. He rubs the infant's belly and shushes him quietly but it's no use.

"Well the cute part didn't last long, did it?" Lizzy asks him as she unbuckles the baby from his seat.

"No," Dean agrees and watches as Lizzy picks him up, holding him in her arm and rocking him a bit to calm him. And it actually works for a moment. The baby quiets, looking to her with watery eyes. "How the hell did you do that?"

"No idea," she says in a soothing voice and a grin, her eyes glued to the tiny person in her hands. "But who cares. It's working."

"He's adorable," a middle aged woman comments a she passes the two of them. She touches the little baby's shoulder lightly and he smiles at her.

"Oh, ah… thanks," Lizzy stumbles a bit as she responds. Best not explain that the baby isn't really theirs.

"What a beautiful family," she tells them as she walks away from the three standing in the checkout line.

Dean shots Lizzy a look. "You hear that? We're beautiful."

"She was just being nice," Lizzy tells him with a shrug.

"She was right though," Dean adds in quickly before his brain could stop him. "You do look good like that."

Smiling at the overly sweet comment, she laughs quietly. "You're gonna give me cavities."

Dean just grins back at her before nodding ahead of them. "We're up."

"Oh good!" Lizzy responds, seeing that they can get their items onto the register's conveyer belt. She then takes the baby and pushes him into Dean's arms. "Here."

"Uh, no…" Dean starts to protest.

"Take him," Lizzy presses the issue and before he knows it the boy is in his hold. He has a grip on him under each armpit as he holds him a good foot away. Dean stares at him as the baby's face scrunches up threateningly.

"Oh that's so not good," Dean says right before the baby starts crying. And this time he cries. Face red and tears flowing, Dean begins to panic a bit. This is normally where he makes a hand off to Lizzy but she's busy.

"Shh... shh..." Dean attempts to quiet the kid. "Come on, hang in there buddy. Hang in there, man."

"You gotta calm him down," Lizzy tells him as she piles item after item on the counter.

"How!?" Dean harshly asks. "Everyone's staring at us like we're child abusers!"

"Talk to him, occupy his attention."

"You think I speak baby? He probably needs a diaper change."

"We know he needs a diaper change," Lizzy reminds him, a smile on her lips. It's just too funny to watch him flip out like this. Maybe it's cruel but it's a little fun at the same time.

The baby continues to cry and Dean looks him hard in the eye. He tries something new. With every wail from the kid he wails right back, mimicking the sound. He did this with Cass once when he was whining on one of his first days living with them. Somehow it did the trick and got him to stop because it confused him enough. It's not so much working with the baby in his hold.

"Aw... what's the matter?" a woman in line behind them asks as she approaches Dean. "What's his name?"

"Bobby," Dean instantly answers at the exact same time as Lizzy answers;

"Sam."

"Uh, Robert Samuel," Dean tries to amend the slip up after he and his wife share a nervous look. "I wanted Robert. She wanted Samuel. We're still battling over the nickname."

The woman just smiles. "Hi, Robert Samuel. Aren't you handsome?" She then looks up at Dean with a warm smile. "May, I?"

Before either former hunter can do anything about it, the woman is pulling the baby gently from Dean's arms.

"Oh, uh I…" Dean nervous says but the second he's in the woman's arms the little boy stops fussing.

Lizzy stops paying attention to the checkout and stares suspiciously at the stranger with the baby she's supposed to be protecting in her arms. Lizzy's instantly unsettled and her protective nature is on over load.

"I see now. Robert here is a little wet," she informs them of the issue. "No offense, you two look exhausted. I don't mind helping. Lord knows I've changed a million diapers."

It's then that Lizzy catches the woman's eyes flaring in a security camera feed behind her. She knew her dislike of the situation was there for a reason. Spidey-senses.

"You know, that's a really nice offer, thank you, but um... I think we've got it," Lizzy says as she steps forward and stands between Dean and what she now knows is a shifter.

"Oh, it's nothing," the monster continues to play it off. "Happy to help."

"Why don't I just take him," Lizzy says to her, a hint of danger in her voice as she holds out her arms.

"Sure, just finish checking out first," the shifter offers and Lizzy's had it.

"Give me the baby before I stab you in your neck in front of all these nice people," Lizzy says with a calm smile, the threat sharp.

"L!" Dean nearly shouts at her for her crazy words. What's gotten into her?

Lizzy nods to the security camera and with one glance Dean is on her side, his face set with fury.

The shift runs, clutching the baby close to her. Instantly Lizzy and Dean are after her, not at all about to let her get away with that innocent infant.

Lizzy tries to grab the woman, attempting to hold tight to her forearm, but the flesh there sheds off in her hand. Not missing a beat she throws the skin onto the ground and keeps running.

Dean cuts the shifter off and runs into her head on. He takes the baby out of the shifter's arms and holds him in close before fleeing. Dean heads for the door and for the Charger as Sam has it ready in the lot. He dives into the back seat.

"Sam, door!" he yells to his brother and Sam is already on Dean's same page, pulling out of the parking space to head for the front door to pick up Lizzy when she undoubtedly bolts out to escape.

The second Dean has the baby safe in his hold Lizzy tackles the shapeshifter posing as an older woman. She pulls out and swiftly flicks open her folding knife made of silver.

"I'm gonna kill you for this one," Lizzy rages as she realizes this monster has probably been the one kidnapping babies. The thought makes her too angry to handle her ire.

"Help me!" the shifter wisely calls out to the surround shoppers, knowing that right now, knife in hand, Lizzy looks like a psycho to normal people. "She's hurting me!"

"Get off of her!" Lizzy hears a man shout to her and it pulls her back into the current situation. What is the plan here? Kill a shifter in front of all these witnesses? Get arrested and go away for murder? Or worse, be on the lam like Dean and Sam were a huge chunk of their lives before faking her own death to stay free? Fuck no.

"Okay, alright," Lizzy calmly says as she holds out her hand. She folds the knife closed to show she means no harm. "Alright."

And then she takes off.

Once outside she sees that Sam has the car waiting for her with the passenger side open. She dives in and yanks the door shut.

"Go! Go! Go!" she shouts and they speed off as the store empties out to follow her. They get away just fine but not before the shifter makes it to the lot in time to get a good look at Sam's license plate.

"Oh fuck!" Lizzy says in sheer relief to have gotten away from all that.

"The hell does a shifter want with a baby, anyway?" Dean asks from the backseat as he tries his damnedest to lock the baby into his car seat.

"You tell me," Sam angrily wonders the same thing as he drives.

"Ah, better question… how the hell did it find us?" Lizzy points out the lingering issue. It found them all too easily. "And what's to stop it from finding us again?"

"Who designed this thing?" Dean finally complains as he's yet to figure out the car seatbelt. "NASA?"

"Lemme help," Lizzy says as she reaches her body between the two front seats and helps Dean get the little boy strapped in correctly.

"You know, it could have been following me this whole time…" Sam beings to think aloud. "Since the baby's house."

"So it knows where Dean and I live," Lizzy adds in as she finishes up the safety belts and returns to her own place in the passenger seat. "Comforting."

"Seatbelt," Sam says to her much like he did Dean earlier as the car is beeping once again. Lizzy doesn't complain however. She just puts her belt on.

"Alright, you know, we gotta get off the road," Dean begins planning. "Get little Bobby Sam here someplace safe."

"Bobby Sam?" Sam has to ask when he hears the name.

"We couldn't decide," Lizzy jests and brushes the conversation off for another time. "Alright, well, I know of a few smaller towns in the area that are off the beaten path. We can hit one of those up and find a motel."

"Isn't a motel our usual M.O. though?" Sam challenges the thought.

"Yeah it is, but around here there are so many motels that finding one in particular is like figuring out which Zep song's the best. Impossible. New England is the motel capital of the world. We'll be ok for a while."

"Sounds good," Sam easily agrees when he hears her talk it all out. "You tell me where to go."

With all the commotion the baby continues to fuss a bit in the back seat.

"And we need to try and head for another grocery store again," Dean points out. "We left that one empty handed and this guy is starting to stink." The baby lets out a cry and Dean scoots closer to the car seat. He puts a hand on the infant's tiny belly again and rubs. "Okay, alright, shh, shh. Easy, kid."