The following is a non-profit fan-based parody. Dragonball, Dragonball Z and Dragonball GT are all owned by Funimation, Toei Animation, Fuji TV and Akira Toriyama.

Super Smash Brothers is owned by Nintendo and it's third-party characters are owned by their respective owners, such as Capcom, SEGA, and Konami.

I do not own any of the jokes in this story. This is just a retelling of TeamFourStar's hilarious series, Dragonball Z Abridged but with characters from Super Smash Bros. I am just a fan that finds entertainment in their hilarity.

Please support the official release.

Our story begins in the rural part of the Nintendo Universe; on a farm. The door to the tiny house near the field opened to reveal a fat man with a crooked mustache, wearing a pair of suspiciously purple overalls and a yellow shirt. He scratched his nose, let out a fart and made his way to his field. It was a peaceful morning, one that even had it's own relaxing music added to it. After taking a bite out of a fresh piece of garlic, he made his way to his tool shed, got his tools and got ready to work once again on another boring, average, uneventful day.

BOOM!

A large explosion came from out of nowhere, rattling the farmer. He stared at the cloud of smoke, absolutely horrified. "OH GOD, NO, MY MARIJUANA PAT- I mean, uh... my garlic patch. Yeah." He quickly hopped onto his motorcycle and made his way out to the scene of the explosion. "I better do what any sensible video game character would do in this situation," he thought to himself. "GET MY GUN!" As he said this, he pulled out a Super Scope.

As he peered into the crater where he assumed the explosion happened, he caught a glimpse of a foreign pod, unlike anything he had seen before. The pod opened up, revealing something that he was not familiar with. A robotic voice came from the pod as the mysterious character stepped out and slowly started to float up.

A NEW CHALLENGER APPROACHES!

Only one thought came to the farmer's mind. "Holy crap, it's Sonic the Hedgehog!" He soon realized that that wasn't the case as he got a better look at the stranger's appearance. "No... wait... it's an alien? HOLY SH*T, IT'S AN ALIEN!"

The stranger in question was dressed in a black tunic and held a silver bow in his hand. Said bow also had sharp edges for when it could be separated and used as dual swords. On his back, black wings sprouted out majestically. His eyes were a deep purple and gave a look that could make anyone cringe. He chuckled a bit before speaking.

"Finally... on this dead plannnn... wait... what the crap?" This mysterious dark angel slowly lowered himself to the ground below. "Argh! Did Perseus screw this up?! Oh, God dammit, I knew we should have sent Robin..."

"Better think of something cool to say to make him stop," the farmer thought as he and raised his Super Scope towards the angel. "HEY YOU!" he shouted. "Heheh... genius, Wario. Genius."

The dark angel turned towards Wario and smirked. "Aww, look at him, he thinks he's people. What's your power level, little human?" He pressed a button on his scouter and immediately analyzed the strange person. He was identified as Wario, a somewhat popular video game character who is known to love garlic and ride motorcycles. His power level... was barely five. The stranger smirked. "Five, huh?" he chuckled as he slowly made his way towards his target.

"PROTECT ME, GUN!" Wario shouted as he carelessly fired a shot towards his attacker, only to have the latter catch the energy blast. "Hey!" he shouted. "No! Bad human!" he said as he flicked the it back towards Wario at triple strength. Wario was hit and slammed into his motorcycle from the force of the blast.

"Bad." the stranger finished. "Now get back up and tell me you're sorry." Wario didn't get back up. His eyes rolled into the back of his head and he was completely unresponsive. The stranger, however, remained completely oblivious to Wario's condition. "Human? Huuuuuuuuman?" After a few failed attempts, the dark angel sighed. "So this is why dad said I couldn't keep Slippy..."

Meanwhile, in a nearby wasteland, a fairly recognizable blue Pokemon was doing some training. He stopped for a second and admired the view. He sighed. "Good ol' wasteland. Yep. Sure is some kick-ass training." A few seconds passed before he sighed. "Dammit, I'm lonely. Might as well check PokeSpace."

He opened up his laptop and pulled up his PokeSpace page. The text at the top read 'Hello, Lucario,' complete with a less than stellar picture of the Pokemon in all of his 'awesomeness.' He checked all of his notifications. "No new comments... no friend requests... dammit... well, at least I have you, Red. You're always there for me..."

Lucario's PokeSpace session was abruptly cut off by a voice shouting after him. "Hey! You!" Lucario turned around in surprise. "What the hell?" he thought to himself as the voice continued to call out to him.

"Are you Perseus?! Seriously, if you are, stay still! I need to talk to you about killing and selling this planet! It's really important!"

Seconds later, the same dark angel from before landed in front of the blue Pokemon. He analyzed him with his scouter and instantly figured out that it wasn't who he was searching for. "Oh. Wait a second. You're not Perseus. My bad."

Lucario deadpanned. "I've got blue and white fur, spikes out of my hands and chest, and a tail. Oh, yeah. I must look like so many other people."

The dark angel frowned. "Oh, a smartass, huh? I don't appreciate smartasses." Lightning started to come from his hand and a purple ball formed. "Prepare yourself for my signature attack! DOUBLE SUND-"

BZZT!

We are experiencing technical difficulties. Please wait while we change the attack name to it's proper name.

…

…

…

Thank you for waiting.

"Prepare yourself for my signature attack! KEEP YOUR EYE ON THE BIRDI-"

As soon as he said this, his scouter went off, indicating a much higher power level. "Ooh, a higher power level," he said to himself as he flew up, searching for where the immense power is coming from. Lucario wasn't pleased at the sudden change. "Hey! What the hell?! Weren't you going to kill me?!"

"Ah, there we go," the dark angel said to himself, once again. "Considering the average set by this one blue guy and that farmer, the chances of this being Perseus are- aw, screw this, I'll just go and check." He flew off in a rush, leaving a disappointed Lucario in the dust. "Fine! Go ahead! I didn't want your company anyways!" he said out loud before turning back to his laptop. "Right, Red?"

An aircraft descended and landed on the small island that housed Smash Manor. An elegant looking woman stepped out of the aircraft and made her way towards the door, casually opening it like she belonged there. "Hey, I'm here!" she called out, to the surprise of the two brothers inside.

"BOOBS! I mean, Zelda!" the shorter, green clothed Italian man called out. "Hi."

Zelda put on a fake smile. "Oooooookaaaaaay... how's it going?" she said as she walked in and set her stuff down. The bigger one with the bushier mustache and red clothing held up a mug. "I'm-a drinking OJ!" The liquid changed with a ding. "Now it's-a apple juice!" Another ding. "And now it's-a beer! Yaaaay, beer!" he cheered as he chugged the beverage down as quickly as he could.

"So, where's Roy?" Luigi asked while balancing a present on his finger. Zelda clenched her fists in tranquil fury. "I think the bastard's cheating on me," she said as calmly as she could. Luigi raised an eyebrow. "Why do you say that?"

"Zelda! It's not what it looks lik- okay, it's kinda what it looks like... can I still live here? Please? Before this, I was living out in the desert. Oh, and have you changed Mew's litter box yet?"

"I MADE BOOM BOOM!"

"Oh, are you serious? Roy? That is SO out of chara- so you're single, then?"

Zelda wanted to acknowledge that but got cut off at the last second by a voice that came from outside. A young man dressed in a white robe with wings sprouting out of his back jumped off of the cloud that he was riding on. He had not yet learned how to fly all that well. In his arms, he was carrying a small boy who was dressed like a prince. He had blonde hair that stuck up in the front and he looked pretty shy. The young man called out to everyone inside. "Hey guys!"

"PIT!" Zelda shouted in excitement.

"WINGS...huh?" Luigi shouted as he followed Zelda, only to stop after seeing Pit carrying the small boy in his arms.

Zelda stood there in a bit of a shock. "Um... Pit? I couldn't help but notice that five year old you're carrying." Luigi butted in with "Pit, just because we picked you up in the woods when you were a kid doesn't mean you can go around stealing children."

Pit nervously laughed that comment off. "Uh... okay? This is actually my son."

Cue Dramatic Music

A/N: What a twist.

Zelda walked over to Pit nervously. "Oh, wow... so I guess that means you've finally... y'know..." she managed to spit out. Pit just gave her a confused look. "Know what?" Mario was the next person to rush up to Pit's side. "Y'know... Bow chika wow wow?!" Another look from Pit. "What're those noises you're making?"

Zelda and Mario shared the same thought. "Oh my God, he's a parent." Luigi walked up too. "So, when's the little guy gonna start training?" he asked. Pit crossed his arms. "Actually, Lady Palutena is making him study. She wants him to grow up to be... what's it called?"

"A responsible and productive member to society?" Luigi guessed.

Pit snapped his fingers. "Yeah, lame! That's it!" He called out to his son. "Hey, son! Come here! Stop playing with that turtle! We don't want people saying things."

Something caught Zelda's eye as Pit's son came running towards them. It was a small ball that was on his head. It was multicolored and held a certain logo on it. She recognized it almost immediately. "Hey, is that a Smash Ball on his head? Doesn't that make him a target for villains who might want them?"

Pit brushed off the suggestion. "Oh, come on, I've already beaten Lucario. I'm strong enough to beat anyone- HOLY NANA AND POPO! WHAT IS THAT?!"

Pit felt an immense amount of aura heading towards his way. Mario stepped forward. "What's wrong?" Pit started to tense up. "I just felt a power level bigger than... than... Luigi's losing streak!"

Zelda held her hands over her mouth in shock while Mario recoiled. Luigi just hung his head. "You know, you guys are the reason I go to therapy."

Pit searched furiously, looking for wherever the tremendous power was coming from. "It's getting closer..." Luigi tapped Pit's shoulder. "Shouldn't we grab Lucas and put him insi-" Before Luigi could finish, the dark angel landed in front of everyone. "Oh, son of a-" Luigi grumbled before the 'guest' started talking.

Taking a closer look, everyone was able to tell that both Pit and the stranger shared some similarities: the way they wore their hair, their wings, their robes, everything. Except the color of their clothes and wings were different. Because of their similarities, everyone referred to this stranger as 'Dark Pit.'

Dark Pit smirked at his counterpart. "It took me a while to get here, but I've finally found you... Perseus."

Pit tilted his head in confusion. "What?"

"That's right. That's your name," Dark Pit explained.

"What?" Pit repeated.

"The name you were given before we sent you to this planet," Dark Pit explained even further.

"...what?"

"You... hit your head as a child, didn't you?"

Pit had a brief flashback to when he was a kid, recalling that he fell off of a cliff and hit his head on the ground below. How he survived was a miracle. But as soon as he recalled the memory, it disappeared in an instant, leaving him to say-

"...what?"

"Oh, for God's sakes, just listen!" Dark Pit shouted. "You were sent here as a child to take over the planet. You're part of a dead race of intergalactic super warriors, called the Smashers. And to top off the exponential onslaught... I... AM YOUR BROTHER!"

Everybody recoiled at Dark Pit's last statement, so much to the point where a crab fell off of one of the trees. Luigi, blissfully unaware of the danger he was putting himself in, walked up to Dark Pit casually. "So, you're his brother, huh? Wow, that must mean you'll get to participate in a lot of future events, right?" It went silent after that. "...right?"

In a fraction of a second, Dark Pit used both of his wings to send Luigi flying into the side of the manor. "...what did I say...?" Luigi questioned as he was buried under the broken fragments of the wall.

Luigi Owned Count: 1

At the sight of this, Pit got angry. He pointed towards Dark Pit and sternly said, "Hey! Stop hitting Luigi!" Dark Pit sarcastically replied with "Why?" to which Pit answered with "Because you're breaking Smash Manor!"

"Yeah... stop breaking Smash Manor..." Luigi protested weakly.

"So, what are you here for?" Pit asked. "The Smash Balls?" Dark Pit looked at Pit like he was insane. "Uh... you'll smash my what?" he questioned, a tiny bit unnerved. "The Smash Balls," Pit clarified. "Y'know, there are seven of them, they can grant you any wish you want, like immortality?"

Pikachu (who came out of seemingly nowhere) butted in, saying "...or Zelda's panties."

Meanwhile, on a distant planet:

Bowser turned his head to his partner. "Marth, did you hear that?"

The blue-haired swordsman prince turned to his gigantic, spiky, turtle partner and smirked. "Oh, yeah! We're totally going to go to the Nintendo Universe to get our wish!

Bowser clutched his fist. "Yeah! We're gonna get panties! ...I mean immortality. Immortality is what I meant, right, Marth?"

Marth sighed. "Just get in the damn pod."

Back to the Plot:

Dark Pit shook his head and walked up to his brother. "No... I'm here for you... Perseus..."

Hearing this, Pit dropped his guard a bit. "Oh. Okay. So what are we going to do? See a ball game? Catch a movie? Other brotherly things?"

Dark Pit shook his head. "We are going to kill everyone on this planet and sell it for profit to an alien overlord who may or may not have destroyed our own planet."

"...oh." Pit frowned at his brother. "Well... I sorta like people here. So, with all due respect-"

Without any sort of prompt, Dark Pit rushed forward and kicked Pit in the gut. Having the wind knocked out of him, Pit doubled over in pain, leaving everyone speechless. Lucas wriggled free from Zelda and ran towards his fallen father. "Daddy!"

Before he could even make it to his dad, Dark Pit grabbed him by the back of the shirt collar and hoisted him up. "I'll be taking this." And like that, he sped off into the distance.

Pit, having somewhat regained his composure, slowly rose. "Quick! Someone stop him!" he cried out. However, nobody did anything and it was only after several chirps from a nearby cricket that anyone said anything else.

"Dammit, Luigi!" Pit said to his friend.

"Hey! I was bitch-slapped through a house! What's your excuse?"

"I was kneed in the stomach!"

"You're all pathetic!" came a foreign but somehow familiar voice. When everyone looked up, they saw Lucario hovering above them. Normally, this would have frightened each and every one of them, as he was one of the toughest foes Pit ever faced, but given recent events, he seemed to pose less of a threat.

"...what?" Lucario asked after a lengthy silence.

"Ah geez..." Pit sighed. "Look, I know you totally wanna kill me and all but today's been a bad day. My brother just showed up, turns out I'm some kind of alien or something, he kidnapped my son..."

"Oh yeah, I was watching that. That was priceless!" Lucario burst into a fit of laughter that unnerved everyone in the vicinity. It wasn't until after a few seconds that he abruptly interrupted himself and declared "Sorry for your loss."

"Right..." Pit said, regaining his normal composure. "Anyways... wanna help me get him back?" he asked as he stuck out his hand towards the blue Pokemon. Lucario folded his arms. "Whyyyy?" Pit thought about it for a bit and told Lucario something that he couldn't possibly resist.

"I'll friend you on PokeSpace."

…

The next thing they knew, they were flying in the direction where Dark Pit had taken off. "Red," Lucario said to himself, "You've been replaced."