- iStill Love You -
Ever wondered what it'd be like to fall in love?
I did. It happened all so fast.
One minute, she hated my guts… and the next… she was kissing me. Later I found out, it was because she liked me. Liked me… a lot. And also. I liked her. A lot.
It was all going great.
Until… somehow, we overheard Carly talking to Spencer, and a girl he was trying to date, but couldn't because she was always treating him like a child. But that's another story.
Sam Puckett. My one and only. I can't stop thinking about her.
It's been three months. Yes, three whole months.
Our web show that Sam, Carly and I do, called iCarly (perhaps you've heard of it), well, it has been rather… awkward. Seeing as, seeing Sam every day… even after breaking up… well… hasn't been that easy. For either of us.
Since that night. Nothing has been the same for me.
And probably the same goes for Sam too.
The last time I actually talked to her… like… talked, talked, was that same night. After the elevator discussion. Desperately, I was holding on. I didn't want to let her go. I didn't.
... /...
"I believe… there's a chance for us," I said, slowly.
"I don't know, Freddie. What Carly said-" she starts to reply, but he doesn't let her finish.
"That's not us. I know we have our differences. I know we have more fights than average couples… but…"
"…I still love you." Sam whispered.
I nod slowly and take one side of her face, pressing my palm against it, wiping the tears that didn't seem to want to fall on their own.
We both walked over, closer together, until their noses were touching and their fingers entwined with each other's, slowly. I couldn't let her go, if she still loved me. And even more so… I still loved her.
Very much.
"I still love you," I repeated, in the same hushed tone.
We leaned in, closer and closer, our lips almost close enough to touch each other. So close.
... /...
But…
…All too suddenly. She vanished. Like thin air, like water vapor.
Sam Puckett, was just a memory.
Just a memory. Just a memory.
I walk through the darkened streets of Seattle, and eventually, I arrive home. Though it doesn't feel like home to me. Nothing does. Not since she left me.
We were happy. We were happy, and she took it all away from me.
Like a cliché romantic movie, of some kind… or not so romantic. Still freaking "cliché" though. Thunder rumbled in the sky, overhead. And little by little, raindrops pitter patter on the pavement around me and on top of me.
Who cared if I got soaked to the bone? Who cared if I got pneumonia? Who cared if I died right here, right now?
Turning my head, I notice a big large semi-truck speeding around the corner. I step a little closer to the edge of the sidewalk. Just a bit.
A bit more.
... /...
Then… Out of nowhere…
"Freddie! Freddie! !"
A voice. An angel's voice? No. That's no angel, that's…
…but it's impossible. I must be imagining things, or possibly going quite mentally insane.
Really, what kind of other insanity is there?
Wow.
"Don't do it, Freddie! Don't do it! It's not worth it!"
It was Sam.
"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't."
"Why are you so damn stupid? !"
I was angry. I was really red faced, smoke coming out my ears, angry. How dare she come running along, demanding that I listen to her words, when they mean absolutely nothing to me.
"OH, I'M THE STUPID ONE? WHO LOVED YOU? ME! WHO HAS ALWAYS LOVED YOU? ME! WHO WANTS TO DIE, BECAUSE THEY LOVE YOU SO MUCH AND CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT YOU A DAY LONGER? ME! THAT'S WHO!"
... /...
Only the sound of rain, could be heard. The truck had long since passed. And I was alone.
Alone and dripping wet.
I make my way inside, and instead of taking the elevator, I take the stairs. Instead of going home, to my mother, where she'd make a huge fuss out of absolutely nothing, as always...
...I go someplace, where I know I'll be happy.
The fire escape.
As I climb out onto the balcony, a girl, with long golden curls is there. Sitting on the railing, eyes closed and letting the rain wash over her. Like she has no care in the world. Like she was waiting for me. Maybe... and I hoped... she was waiting for me.
Slowly, without startling her, I carefully walk over to where she is.
As if could, though, since, you know. Sam isn't scared of anything. One of the many things I love about her.
I gently wrap an arm around her waist slowly and pull her off the rail, so she won't suddenly fall off. Now, she's standing, close to me. Her breath is warm and calming. I notice she's starting to flicker her eyes open.
"Don't," I say, softly and gently, but as though I mean it. "Keep them closed."
She listens to me, and obeys. For once. Perhaps she is sorry for everything.
As the rain drops fall faster, and get a lot bigger and heavier, I decide that my life cannot go on, without her in it.
Before she could spoil the moment by opening her eyes and before I could manage to chicken out, my other arm wraps around her, and my head bends down. My lips press against hers slowly, and carefully. I feel her hands slide around my neck, pulling me even closer.
We part for a brief moment. Her eyes slowly flicker open. Those gorgeous oceanic blues, staring into my soul. Our hearts are pounding, and our breaths have quickened their pace by now.
"I love you Freddie," she whispers.
I smile at her, as she smiles back.
"I love you, Sam. More than you will ever know."