So I didn't watch the last series of silent witness, I live in the US most of the year and missed out on it. Therefore it never happened right? The last thing I saw was atifil so Harry didn't leave and Leo didn't die... Until now when I happen to be in England and SW is on tv so I've been watching, and it's making me very sad. This won't stop me feeling sad but hey I picked hurt comfort so it has to end happy.
She hadn't seen him for years, she tried to think back but couldn't remember exactly when the last time she'd even heard from him was.
They'd phoned and skyped and emailed in the beginning, every time one of me had needed reassurance or felt lonely or was stuck on a difficult case. They'd barely been able to find excuses some times just wanting to hear the others voice, but that had petered out.
Then there had been cards... For a while. Post cards to start with, from all the places he visited. All bearing the same message: miss you, wish you were here. But the novelty wore off and what was once living a dream with new places and new experiences just became real life, nothing was note worthy anymore and the post cards stopped.
He had sent birthday cards for a couple of years, she'd pretend she wasn't upset the first time that the day had passed seemingly without him noticing. She'd told herself it was delayed in the post, or mail she supposed stuck somewhere across the pond. But then a week later when it still hadn't arrived she had to assume he'd forgotten, maybe he'd been busy at work.
She'd cried later that year when there hadn't been a Christmas card either, she couldn't pretend anymore. He'd stopped thinking about her, that was the only explanation. He was so surrounded by beautiful, tall Americans with perfect skin. Their teeth perfectly white hair always looking like they'd just left a salon, that he'd forgotten about her. Plain and simple Nikki across in plain and boring England, they'd only been best friends after all why would he think of her. And she did what she always did when she couldn't cope with her personal life and threw herself further into her work.
Without him there to take her home she practically lived at the Lyle centre, regularly sleeping at her desk just inches away from where he had once been.
The fun had all gone out of stealing his desk, she only did it in the hope he would notice her.
Her colleagues knew she wasn't coping, but weren't entirely sure what was causing her distress. They didn't really socialise with her outside of work, they hadn't been there for all those years, they simply didn't know her. Not the real her anyway, they knew doctor Alexander but they didn't know Nikki. They just let her get on with it... What ever it was.
She was avoiding her house, avoiding the loneliness that waited for her there, avoiding the silence that was her existence.
She withdrew from the world, what was the point in seeing her friends getting engaged, married and having children when the only person she had considered doing all of those things with was on the other side of the world. She didn't look at Facebook or any other social media sites terrified that one day she would see him having their future but someone else beside him, someone else stood where she should be.