Sometimes Ianto can't help but compare himself to Rhys. Before Jack, before everything, he wouldn't have in a thousand years compared himself to Rhys, but now sometimes it's all he can think about.
Rhys is such a loving caring man. He puts up with only getting snatches of moments with Gwen. The same Gwen who is suppose to be committed to him, but jumps into bed with Owen and who wouldn't turn down Jack. Ianto knows that Rhys isn't a stupid man. Rhys knows what Gwen does, and yet he's always there for her. There isn't anything he wouldn't do and Ianto knows that Rhys waits patiently for the times when Gwen remembers he exists.
Before, Ianto thought the man was an idiot. He thought Rhys should have left her after all the stupid inconsiderate things the supposedly big hearted woman did. But after Jack and he started sleeping together, and Ianto fell deeper and deeper in love with the man who said at the beginning that he would never be able to commit to Ianto, Ianto knows how hard it is for Rhys to walk away.
Ianto wakes up every day hoping that today won't be the day that Jack leaves him. He doesn't hope that Jack will commit to him, doesn't pray that Jack will say those few precious words, because Ianto knows that Jack is going to break his heart, he only hopes it isn't today. He prays that he will have just one more day, just one more day to pretend that this is a real relationship.
Owen got it right and that's why Ianto shot him. Owen said out loud those three dreaded words that Ianto doesn't want to acknowledge. Ianto knows, in the back of mind, he knows that, to Jack, he is only a part-time shag.
So Ianto waits. He makes the coffee, does the filing, cleans up after some of the messiest people he's ever met, does every single thing that the others ask, and he never complains. He knows they don't even know he's there most of the time. He knows they just expect him to do anything, with never a please, or thank you, or even a would you? He knows they only acknowledge him when they want something. He knows all this and still he won't complain because of Jack.
He knows that Jack only wants him around when he needs something, usually a quickie. He knows that Jack uses him. He also knows that Jack isn't aware of what he's doing to Ianto. Every time that Jack fucks him and then leaves him to clean up the mess without so much as a goodbye, a piece of Ianto's heart falls away. But Ianto knows that he'll keep doing this, until Jack leaves. Ianto knows he doesn't have the will power to walk away. Ianto knows that one day, Jack will leave and Ianto will fall to pieces.
Sometimes Ianto wants to Retcon himself, to just let go and start somewhere new without memories of Torchwood 1, Lisa, and Torchwood 3, of the fighting and suffering and most of all of Jack. But Ianto knows that it wouldn't matter because even if his brain forgets, his heart would always be somewhere else, longing for Jack.
Sometimes Ianto can't help but compare himself to Rhys. And more and more, it becomes all he can think about.