Title: It was worth it

Rated: NC-17

Warning: Smut, Angst

Gift for: sparrabethloves (RumSoakedCuriosity)

Summary: She pulled away, but I pulled her back. I just wanted a little more, before she slapped me and ran away. Her arms went around me shoulders, her hand sneaking under me dreads to pull at some hair there. I touched her everywhere I could, moving her to sit fully on me lap, and rested my hands on her hips.

IT WAS WORTH IT

It was worth it.

Before anyone asks, it was worth it.

It was worth grabbing Lizzie round the waist and half dragging her towards the trees that stopped the sandy beachline. It was worth taking her into me arms and holding her tightly, allowing her tears to stain me shirt as she lamented the end of the battle. It was worth standing there, in the moonlight, and comforting the woman I loved. Because let's face it, it's been bleeding obvious since I came back that I cared for her. Through my facades, my ignoring her and my deal with Beckett, I always made sure she was alright. I couldn't bear ta see her hurt. 'Though she killed me, I couldn't kill her.

Not many men survived the long drawn out battle between the East India Company and Davy Jones. Even afterwards, we lost one man, one very dear ta me Lizzie, if I could call her that. Me Lizzie- MY Lizzie. My sounded so much better, so much more personal. I held my Lizzie close, but kept a sharp eye out on the sand for any other sailors. And me ship- I was thrown off it with Lizzie in me arms, protecting her from any harm- it had ta be somewhere. The poor girl went to hell and back with me, she just had to made it. It was only proper.

Soon I noticed that my Lizzie had quieted down in me arms. I also noticed that I had been absent mindly playing with her hair, twirling the golden strands in me dark fingers. She shifted and wrapped her arms tighter around me, not caring that I wasn't acting like the pirate I was suppose to be; acting like the good man she wanted, the man only she has seen. Her cheek rested against my shoulder, I could feel her warm breath exhaled onto me skin, but I was not trying to be aroused. I felt me insides burbling though, and the air started to become warmer, but I think that was me.

Elizabeth looked up at me, for once in my eyes and not me lips. She moved forward. I met her, and soon felt her soft lips against mine. A warm feeling bursted in my gut, and I reacted. I kissed her with intensity, and if it were possible I held her closer. Alarm bells seemed to go off in me head, telling me ta stop, she's doing this in grief but she tasted wonderful, and her lips are so warm...

She pulled away, but I pulled her back. I just wanted a little more, before she slapped me and ran away. Her arms went around me shoulders, her hand sneaking under me dreads to pull at some hair there. I touched her everywhere I could, moving her to sit fully on me lap, and rested my hands on her hips. She seemed to instinctly move against me, making me break the kiss so I could moan. This was wrong, but it was worth it. She was grieving, but it was worth it.

Very carefully, I rolled her onto her back and placed a kiss on her jawline. She gasped, and I felt me insides jump at the small response. She was liking what I was doing to her, and she wanted more. She always had wanted more, wanted to know what it was like to be wrapped up in a man. If not, then that's what I wanted. I wanted to be wrapped up in Lizzie.

I broke away from her lips and locked eyes with her. She asked me what was wrong, if I didn't want her. Of course I wanted her, I've wanted someone like her for as long as I could remember. I told her this was wrong, her fiancee had just passed on, and she closed her eyes and nodded. She knew. But she still wanted me. Did she love me? I didn't think so, but still she wanted me. I dropped my lips to hers and kissed her. If I couldn't have her love, that was fine. I would have one night, at least.

Her hands were on my back, tearing at me sodden coat. Without breaking the kiss, I lifted up my shoulders and helped her get me wet coat off, and felt a lot lighter. Elizabeth reached up and took me hat off, laying it on the ground. I smiled. For some reason, I was glad that she had taken the time to take good care of me hat. I felt her teeth bite me lower lip and pull it between her teeth, and briefly wondered where she learned how to kiss. It must have been natural, for William surely could not teach her that... I don't think.

I groaned low in my throat, moving my hands so I could lift her up and hold her close to me as I grounded my hips on her, only once so she knew that I desired her. She gasped and pulled away from me, and I could see fear in her eyes. I let her back go, and carefully rested her on the ground, to show that I would not push her, but that I still wanted her. She gave me a small smile, but it didn't last long, and she ran her hand along the part of my chest that was not covered by me shirt, and I decided to take it off. I wanted her to see me.

I didn't get the reaction I thought I would- I thought she would gasp, say something like 'marvelous bronzed chest'; but instead she just ran her hands up me on her way to sitting up. She placed a gentle kiss on me neck, and faltered for a bit. I told her to kiss me neck like she kissed me lips. It was a little wet, but just the thought of her lips on me skin made me close me deadlights and grasp her sides. Her hands ran down to me waist, and then quickly went back up. I chuckled a bit and kissed her neck before I stood up and untied my sash. My belts and trinkets went next, along with me cutlass and shot, and I went to me pants fastenings.

This is when I noticed something flash in her eyes. She hadn't seen this before? It was quite a common sight on docks and the ship, where men would piss over the side. Maybe she was a little afraid, because I wouldn't be taking a piss over the side of a ship, I would be entering her, feeling her around me, making her groan and sweat and cry me name out over and over again. It would be worth a little fear, to teach her all about what a man and a man's part can do to a woman.

So I hesitated, and instead took me bandana off instead. I always do, it gets too hot and in the way when woman go to grab me hair, so I thought best to take it off. Lizzie's eyes widened a little at me scar, but it was just a small scar, an actual innocent accident of falling over boards that left a hole in me head. Me dad use ta tease me 'cause he thought I lost me brains in the fall. I stepped over to me hat, and dropped it along side of it. Then I kicked off me boots and went on my knees in front of her. She glared at me, like she did not know what ta do. Which, she didn't. I would have to teach her, and I wouldn't mind.

I, very gently I might add, grasped her hands and made her sit up. She sat on her knees in front of me, and I brought her hands to me chest. She moved them around a bit, then got into exploring every scar, every muscle that I did have and I made small noises when she hit places I really liked. Then before I could get really into it, I stopped her hands and she looked at me. Her eyes were wide and dialated, and she opened her pretty little mouth to ask me why I made her stopped when I pushed her hands, gently, to me pants line. She looked confused, until I opened one button and pushed her tiny hand inside.

She gasped, and almost retreated her hand, but I held fast and she calmed down a bit. I relaxed her hand to make a palm cup, and she felt me up and down. I bit me lip and watched her eyes go from mine down to me body. I chuckled, curious still. But I closed me eyes and allowed her to pull me out and fondle me. Then she let go, and I opened my eyes to see what was going on, I was liking the attention she was giving me. She had only leaned back, staring at me member and blushing. It was raised north, ta me, and I smiled. I leaned forward, one hand on the ground ta steady me as I gently grasped her shoulder and dipped my head to capture her lips.

She moaned into me mouth, and I kissed her harder, leaning more forward to get her on the ground. She uncurled her legs and let me climb on top of her, kissing her lips with fevor. I grasped her hip and grounded meself against her again, feeling her coarse clothes against me member. It stung a bit, and I pulled back. She needed to get unclothed, and I told her that. She nodded her head.

I slowly unbuttoned the dirty, ugly blueish- blackish warrior coat she always wears now, but passed it off as beautiful. Soon that was off, and I worked on her belt. It took me awhile and a lot of cursing, but I eventually flung it into the air behind me and went to step up but tripped on me own pants. Soon those went, along with Lizzie's. All there was was her loose white shirt and bindings, and I would see her in her full glory. I bit me lip and went to work, it's not like it was going to do itself.

I bent down and lifted the shirt up to her navel. I kissed the soft, young skin there and heard her whimper. I smiled. Another inch of the shirt, another kiss. It went on and on until I got to her bindings and ripped her shirt off her body, throwing that over me shoulder too. I leaned over to where me boots were and pulled out me dagger, deciding not to waste anymore time in undressing her. The warmth in my groins grew to pitch fever, and I wanted to rub it on her, all over her, claim her as mine. With a few flicks of the wrist, the thin wrappings came off and fell to the ground.

Then I took a long, glorious second in looking at her. Dear God, if you ever existed, I would just like to express me thanks in creating the female human body. You did a marvelous job, and must have spent a lot of time getting those curves right, but ya did it God. For that I commend you, and I am sorry I ever doubted that ya might have just been a figure made up so cult leaders could have something to pray too.

I seemed to collapse ontop of her, and if possible, tried to touch every part of her in the span of five seconds. She arched up into me, and I felt her heat press against me groin. I seized her lips, and couldn't wait anymore. I sunked a half inch into her, and groaned.

She grasped my shoulders, her sharp nails digging into me skin. I've had it done to me before, but God, it never felt so good. I looked her into her eyes and saw that she was not afraid; quite the opposite, she was excited but I don't think she knew what was going to happen. I told her it would hurt, how much I didn't know. Just trust me, I said, trust me to take care of her. I've had for the longest time now. I ran my hand down her side, and up to where we was joined and made slow, lazy circles with me thumb. She mewled, and pressed against it, sinking me member about an inch into her. I poked something, and gripped her hip, holding the side of her face with me other.

We locked eyes, and I gently as I could pressed against her maidenhead. I noticed her eyes closing tight, and a tear pop out of the side. I licked it away, and thrusted once. I was inside of her now, and damn, she was hot and like a bloody vice!

She yelled out, and her nails tore into me skin to draw blood. I moaned, didn't she know what she was doing to me? She was crying to have me to stop, to pull out, to make it better, but I ignored her. I knew it hurt, it does the first time. No hiding the simple fact that I broke through a layer of skin, and made her bleed, and changed her life forever. I wasn't ashamed, and she shouldn't be either.

I lowered me head into the crook of her shoulder, and took a few deep breaths. I resisted the urge ta thrust, she wasn't use to me yet. I had to wait, just a little longer. Just a little longer and I can finish making her mine. Me thumb continued it's previous job, never tiring, I was trying ta relax her so I could have room ta move. I coaxed her with words, me voice low and throaty, muttering sweet nothings and promises of the pain going away if she would just bloody relax.

Soon I felt her unclench, but she was still tight. Oh God, I have ta thank ya once again. Thank ye, thank ye for making her so damn young and lovely and thank ye for letting me be the first ta have her, the first ta love her, thank ye...

I groaned as I let me thumb rest and pulled back slightly. She gasped at the new sensation of something so deep inside of her, and I smiled. She'd get use ta it, 'm sure, everyone does. I slowly thrusted back in, feeling her clench at me shoulders, but other than that, she was not moving. I had me eyes closed, I couldn't tell what her mood was. I thrusted slowly into her a couple more times before I let out a frustrated groan and demand that she moved with me.

Then I heard something I thought I'd never hear from her, laying underneath me or even standing. She was crying. She was crying? I opened me deadlights and threw a worried glance at her face. She was crying, bloody hell!! I said her name, the name coming out very deep and throaty.

She sobbed some more. She was sorry, she never... never did this and... she was sorry that she didn't satisfy me. This was not right, me Lizzie was strong and cocksure, she knew everything I thought. Well, not everything, apparently. I gave her a comforting smile and brushed me lips against her ear. I whispered her name to her, and gave a slow thrust of me hips. I heard her sob and gasp at the same time. I did it again. She gasped, but she wasn't sobbing anymore. I kept repeating her name to her, Lizzie, Lizzie, Elizabeth... until I heard her moan and thrust her hips up against me. She startled, did she do that? I chuckled and kissed her.

My lips seemed to dance with hers as our hips bounced off eachother's. She grabbed me head and pressed it against her neck, demanding that I kiss her there. I smiled, and did so. I nipped her lightly, feeling her jerk up against me and let out a small cry. I felt me own head cloud up, it was becoming hard to think anymore...

Me dark hair rubbed against her bare skin, and she pulled on it a little, needing something to grab hold off. Me nerve endings shot up, even they were begging for more. Me whole body was trembling, why was I feeling this way? It was only a woman... only Lizzie...

Then it struck me, it was Lizzie, my Lizzie. Miss Elizabeth Swann, the prissy adorable Governor's daughter whose hair was pinned up over her shoulder; Miss Swann, the young lady who sat by me and learned how to drink rum properly; Elizabeth who I said goodbye to on the fort, actually feeling bad that I would leave her. Elizabeth, who approached me on the docks head still filled with fantastical stories of pirates; Lizzie, the young woman who blossomed into an attractive lady who made me loins throb with want; Lizzie, the young lass that tempted me and tested me. Lizzie, my pirate, my murderess, the one who sent me to hell with a kiss and a promise that this wasn't over. Lizzie, MY Lizzie, was moving under me, with me, gasping and kissing with me, who was making me feel like this and I... I liked it. I liked that it was my Lizzie who made me hairs stand on end, made me look over me shoulder ta see if she was ready ta plunge a knife into me back; it was my Lizzie that even in death and after death I thought about constantly.

I loved her. I loved her so much, I had no idea what to do for a moment.

And I think I told her that, because she went Oh Jack and kissed me like she never did before. It was sweet, yet passionate; loving yet driven. I let her kiss me, taking control of it.

My hand went down to her thigh, and I urged her leg to come up and wrap around me body. She seemed ta like it, so much that her other leg followed suit on it's own accord. She cried me name out, and I pounded into her faster. JackJackJackJackJACK was all I could hear, above the wet sounds of our union and the gentle smack against skin. I groaned her name out too, among other things that might have flown past me lips, and felt her arch into me and gasped loudly. She asked me what was happening, but I didn't know. I couldn't answer.

Her folds gripped onto me tighter then before, and she screamed out me name as she finished. I felt her rush past me, making me throb with release. It was going to come soon, I knew it, I wanted it. I slowed down as best as I could and took her slowly, she still moaning because she was sensitive. I exploded my heat into her, me body trembling as bad as a shaky leaf on a tree threatening to fall, and I did just that. I collapsed on her, breathing heavily. She was so tight, still, that she pushed me out without having me pull.

I stayed on her for a bit, enjoying the feel of her naked body against mine, but I eventually I had to roll off because she could not breathe. I layed on the cool grass, feeling what sand was there rub up against me, and I smiled. I couldn't help it. I had finally done it, I had finally fuc- no, no I made love to MY Lizzie. My Lizzie. My Lizzie?

She sighed, and turned to look at me. She didn't know what to say, so she asked what any debauched virgin would ask: How are you feeling? You knew, then, that the not so virginal anymore lady wanted to gush on how you feel. So I replied:

"I had a religious experience." She laughed, and smacked my arm. "No, I had a moment of clarity! I was smart, for two minutes... then it passed..."

"And this moment of clarity, what were you thinking about?"

I never answered her. Instead, I told her to lay down and kiss me, to wrap me arms around me. She did, and I held her close. Then I began to slowly notice the enviroment. There was some sound way down the beach, where men were working. My ship was back, along with Lizzie's... funny, how normal, or in my case, abnormal life can seem after something extraordinary happens. I laid there, my Lizzie curled up in me arms, uncaring that we both were naked as the day we was born and watched me ship. She seemed whole, and I could see me crew take care of it... then I noticed Lizzie's golden locks blow in the slight wind... I remembered making meself more comfortable...

... and there were a pair of soft lips on mine, a whispered promise, a crunching sounding like sand being stepped on, and it was going farther away...

Then I woke up. And I was alone, naked, in the sand.

I looked around for her, for any trace of her, but she was gone. And she took me hat! I stood up and glanced at where I saw her ship last night, but there was nothing there. Only the Pearl, bouncing slightly in the waves. I quick pulled on me breeches and hurried closer to the water line, cupping me hand over me face to look out to sea, and saw The Empress sail away... with her Captain.

As I walked back to the grassy bed my Lizzie and I shared, I began asking meself:

Was it good? Yes.

Was this right, her leaving? Yes.

Was it proper, her leaving on a ship without me? Yes. I didn't expect her to stay with me forever, that would have been... daft...

Was I upset that I wasn't awake for the goodbye? Yes, but whats done is done and ye can't change it, fer anything.

Was it worth it?

Yes.

THE END