disclaimer: i do not own the characters...i only own the plot
Thinking of her
By: still living
Hey,
Dear Diary just sounds too girly for me. Well what the hell am I doing. Writing down how I feel on this damn BOOK! This damn book. I can't believe I listened to that girl. Little Granger always trying to help – "Malfoy, it would help you a lot if you write how you felt on a diary, you can't keep all your emotions bottled up inside of you, it wouldn't be good for you." What a load of muggle crap. Let's see…
I feel good because I picked on some first years earlier today but that bloody Granger had to ruin it all. She just had to save their skinny necks AND even deducted points from Slytherin, she said it wasn't proper for the Head Boy to be pushing people around. She's starting to become a real pain. I can't stand her! Why does she have to get higher marks than I do! People think she's illustrious but really she's just a show off and a smart aleck. And why is she friends with that Pothead and that Weasel boy! "Golden Trio" Dumbledore used to call them. Come on! I have friends and followers who look up at me. People respect me and some even worship me. I bet if I had that stupid scar I would be the one who everyone would up to and Granger and Weasel would simply worship me.
Hey Granger was right I do feel slightly better. NO! That's the first and last time I'll compliment her. I can't stand her! Especially when she gives her two cents worth muggle crap. And how her cinnamon locks move to the wind, how her eyes twinkle, they're so deep and full of love and happiness, how she carries herself with grace, how amazingly beautiful she has become, how I long to hold her in my arms, and smother her with kisses. Why is she being so difficult!
Everyone wants me, some people would even die for me. I'm used to getting what I want when I want! I want someone astute and pulchritudinous and affectionate. I want someone like her. I want her. I want to walk with her, hand in hand, in the late hours of the night just talking about us. I want her to cry on my shoulder while I soothe her. I want her to be mine. I never noticed how much I cogitate about myself. It seems to me that all I ever do is say I, I want his, I want hat, give me this, give me that. All I want is Hermione. I want her to be sensitive, astute, loving but I want her to like me for who I really am and not my mask. I really am a sensitive, kindhearted and good-looking guy who is all alone.
I think the question is do I deserve her? If someone were to ask me I would initially say yes but if they tell me to answer veraciously I would say No. I don't deserve someone as loving, and caring as her and that is probably why I continue to sit here, just thinking of her, how she smiles ever so sweetly, how I could easily loose myself in those eyes of hers, how she has touched my heart and how I'll never be able to tell her that I love her.
Draco