A/N: Woo more one-shots! At least I can finish these. . That's right, my loyal(?) readers, I'm not dead. Well, maybe a little inside. But oh well. Enjoy the story, which you will hopefully find amusing, and remember that I don't own the X-Files, etc., don't sue me because you'll get about 20 cents and some pocket lint.

Why can't my eyes be pretty too?

11:53 PM

FBI Headquarters

John Doggett wandered down the basement corridor of the FBI building, a look of contemplation upon his face. One might think he was pondering big, important FBI-type things, but in actuality it was something completely different. Hearing a small noise from the office near the end of the hall, he snapped out of his trance to see a dark-haired female agent walking across the hallway with a file.

"Monica!" He yelled, waving and picking up the pace. "Hold up, I need to talk to you!"

She turned to look at him, smiling slightly. "John. What's up?"

Catching up to her, he grabbed her hands and looked deeply into her golden-hazel eyes. "Monica, there's something I need to tell you…" She looked on expectantly, and slightly confused. "I… I've been contemplating a couple big decisions lately… ones that could be potentially life-changing." He stared intensely, never breaking the gaze. "And I want you to know that I don't want this to change anything between us…" A long pause followed, in which Reyes became increasingly excited/nervous and Doggett took a very deep breath, tightening his grip on her wrists before saying what was on his mind.

"I want to get maroon contacts!"

Monica's expression instantly turned from excited nervousness to absurd confusion. "Whaaat?"

Doggett sniffled at the trauma of having his big secret revealed. "My eyes are so… cold, steely gray, with sometimes a hint of blue… it's disheartening and it saddens me to have such a plain, vacant eye color."

"But why maroon? Why not a more exciting color, like rainbow?"

"…I think rainbow would insinuate something I don't exactly want people thinking…"

"Oh John, don't be silly… everybody pretty much knows you're kind of going out with me…"

"Yeah, but I mean then people might start to think you're a man."

At this point, Reyes gave an amazingly accurate rendition of the patented Scully Eyebrow Raise.

"Maybe you should, uh, rethink this a bit… I mean, we do work on the X-Files. With aliens and paranormal stuff. If your eye color suddenly changes, people might get suspicious of you."

"You have a point…" Doggett frowned. "I don't know if I'd actually have the strength to go through with it anyway."

"Well just rest assured that I will always love you just the way you are..." Reyes smiled, leaning up to kiss him.

At that moment, Scully walked in.

"Ew! Eww! PDA! Omg! Eww! PDA!"

The couple stopped and stared at her, quickly pulling away from each other. Doggett began to nervously straighten his tie. Reyes had the look of a raccoon caught in the garbage.

"Agent Scully… um, what's up?"

Scully paused for a moment, giving them both odd looks.

"Well, I just came to show Reyes my new rainbow-colored contact lenses…"