Firestar woke in his den with Spottedleaf napping on him.
He quickly shook her off. She continued to sleep.
His vision was blurry at the corners and Cloudtail was sleeping on...the celing?
Oh wait, it was Graystripe! That makes sense.
He stood up and felt a wave of nausea so he plopped down again and scooted himself to the edge of his den.
He felt something wet - Spottedleafs drool. She looked so pretty when she slept.
The hollow was total chaos.
Cats were passed out everywhere. Some precariously perched on branches, somehow floated in the air, or just lay sprawled out on the ground.
Music was blaring from the Hi-Def stereo and the only one still dancing was Ivypaw who was so hyped up on Red Bull she looked like the girl from Wreck it Ralph when she glitched.
His head hurt.
What had happened!
Yesterday Afternooon...
Graystripe plopped down to eat a mouse.
"Do youm ever chink everyching ish a routine," he chew-talked.
"I mean we do the same thing EVERYDAY!" he continued.
"He has a point," agreed Whitestorm.
"hunt train hunt train hunt train hunt train. I don't have any time for my sexual life!"
"Do you have one Graystripe?"
"Not funny, I dated two babes!"
"Sarcasm."
"HURUMPH"
"Not the point, Firestar you're the boss. Can we change it up a bit?"
"Welll...
*adorable kitten face"
"PWEEEEEZZZZZZ!"
OH FINE!
"Hey Jayfeather, said Firestar, I was thinking of doing something speacial for the clan, any ideas...
"PARTY!" interupted Jayfeather.
"Okay, Firestar considered, maybe we could have a party, I hear Mistystar's got an awesome stereo."
"I swear Firestar if you throw a party I with post on MyPaw that you are the coolest granddad EVER!
"Uhh..oookay."
"That means a lot from me considering I have 2,500,800 followers!"
*Jayfeather's eye twitches obsessedly*
"yeah ookay whatever."
*Firestar looks at the leaf-shaped PawPad*
"You followed Mapleshade, Firestar exclaimed, I thought your fake mother raised you better!"
"I'm a little obsessed with getting followers," Jayfeather admited.
"yeeah, I can tell."
*Firestar leaves*
"Ooh a friend request!"
"Oh wait, from Leafpool, ignore."
"You know what, whispered Dovewing to Ivytail, Firestar is kind of like the oldest leader, I mean really, Leopardstar lived for like no time at all."
"Yeah, I heard that Firestar got 10 lives from the moonstone!"
"SHUT THE FRONT DOOR!"
"I know right!"
"Ladies and Gentlecats, now is the time for a clan meeting." Firestar announced.
Everycat whispered excitedly.
"I am aware that we do the same thing EVERYDAY. So, I propose that we should all...HAVE A FRICKN PARTY!"
"PARTY," yelled Jayfeather.
*Jayfeather posts: Just said Party*
Firestar brought out Mistystar's stereo, put on I'm Sexy and I Know it, and starting dancing.
Everyone clapped because...well..he was the leader...
"Firestar dances like a grandpa," said Bluestar.
Bluestar was vaporized.
...and he had laser vision
Crowfeather brought some Red Bull and Flaming Spicy chips from the Wind clan convenience store.
Unfortunately, Ashfur wouldn't let anyone have any of the chips and was guarding them like a crazy hawk.
Bumblestripe and Brambleclaw were determined to get some.
Bumblestripe said,"you hoo! Ashfur! Come here."
Ashfur turned his back on the chips for one second only to have the chips taken by Brambleclaw.
Brambleclaw opened a bag (how with a paw, I don't know!) and ate some chips.
"I am in love with these chips."
Ashfur was furious he snatched the bag away from Brambleclaw.
"Now you know how it feels to have something you love taken away!"
Bramble claw stared at him blankly.
In a fit of rage he tore opened the bag resulting in chips flying everywhere.
"CHIPZ ARE FAWLING FROM DA SKY!" screeched Honeyfern (who obviously was drunk)
*Jayfeather posts: OMG SPICY!*
"Anyone notice Honeyfern already died?" said Ivytail.
"Yah I feel we're the only ones in reality," said Dovewing.
"You don't think the cats are coming back to life like that other time," wondered Ivytail.
"Spottedleaf died two times (somehow) and she is here," said Dovewing looking at Firestar and Spottedleaf doing...well lets just say there will be more kits in the clan soon.
"Do you ever wonder if Twolegs are actually really smart," said Dovewing.
"No"
"Me neither"
"Then why'd you as...
Graystripe burst in singing: (to the tune of Spiderman)
Catman, Catman, Does whatever a Kitty can
Eats some tuna, Makes a hairball, Goes on the internet, posts a LoL
Look Out! Here comes the Catman.
Can he dance? yes he can! Is he even any part man? .
Batman had a woman like that. Yah but this is a man cat
Hey, There goes the Catman.
In the rivers of Riverclan or the jungle of Thunderclan, a Gray lightning bolt, he comes to save the day!
Catman, Catman Didn't Silverstream save you again. Maybe she did. Thats a maybe. "Oh **** Silverstream SAVE ME!
To him, life's one big party. Where there's a party you'll find the Catman!
"This is sad," said Dovepaw.
"Yes,"said Ivytail.
"I have to sleep on the celing to honor the Batman tradition," proclaimed Graystripe.
"Wasn't that Spiderman's theme song," said Ivytail.
"Batman rhymes with Catman," he insisted.
"How do we even know about Twolog tv shows!" said Dovewing.
"Oh save it, said Ivytail, I realize now that we are the sole voices of reason."
"Did somebody say Sol," said Sol, flashing his sexiest smile.
"Oh no, not this dick," said Hollyleaf.
"Soon Leafstar will be here!"
"Did somebody say Leafstar!"
"How did you even hear that!" exclaimed Dovewing.
"Skyclan superpowers," she replied.
"Aha, Graystripe said, I am not the only super cat in the world. Come away with me my darling!"
"Hey I'm still alive," said Millie.
"Somehow me too!" said Silverstream.
"I have a mate," said Leafstar.
"What, said Leafpool, leaders aren't supposed to have mates!"
"Skyclan is different!"
"No"
"Yes"
"No"
"YES"
"Come on lighten up Leafpool, just because your career was ruined and given to your son because of your unorthodox marriage doesn't mean you should take it out on someone who is in the same situation but avoiding punishment."
"Who even said that?"
"It doesn't matter!"
"Yah it does."
"I'm the doctor."
"Suddenly everyone was aware of a blue police phone booth on top of Firestar's den."
An average looking ginger cat stepped forward.
"Great, ginger this time," he muttered to himself.
"I seem to be in a time of wild, feral cats living in highly advanced and organized clans without anyone noticing!"
"Well you hit the nail right on the head."
"Who are you anyway?" asked Sandstorm.
"Well I used to be a homo sapien, then a horse, now a cat. I have no damn idea!"
All logic exploded as Jayfeather took off his head.
Milkshake!
Icecream!
Candy!
A drunk Graystripe offered Dovewing and Ivytail some beer.
"Aren't we a little young..oh what the hell!"
*EVERYCAT BLACKS OUT*
...And thats basicly what happened.
I know dead cats are alive! Deal with it AND REVIEW!