This is my Story

Disclaimer:

I do not own anything from Supernatural.

Pairing:

Dean/Castiel

Summary:

Years ago, before the angels and demons, Dean listened to the story of a stranger in a trench coat who mysteriously vanishes leaving nothing but a large black feather behind. It's only now that it occurs to him who it belongs to.

He was truly alone now; more alone than when he'd left Heaven, had forgone his brothers and sisters for Dean. Everything he'd done, everything he was doing and yet the older Winchester still couldn't seem to understand.

"I want you to understand."

"Oh, believe me, I get it," Dean replied. "Blah, blah, Raphael, right?"

"I'm doing this for you, Dean. I'm doing this because of you."

The hunter scoffed. "Because of me. Yeah. You got to be kidding me."

"You're the one who taught me that freedom and free will –"

"You're a freakin' child, you know that?"

He wouldn't even let him explain and every time he tried Dean would cut him off as if he knew every detail that happened to push him into this position. Castiel considered asking God for help, for some sort of sign. But even though he knew his Father was out there he knew he wouldn't receive an answer. Once again he wondered who he could talk to when the one he usually confided in was being… problematic. After a few minutes of pondering this, he realized the solution was amazingly clear. If Dean wouldn't let him explain now, perhaps he'd allow it before this all happened. It'd have to be before they'd even met to assure he wouldn't accidentally run into any other angels but, yes. This could work.

"Is it okay if I sit here?"

The green-eyed hunter looked up at the man before glancing at the empty space beside him. He shrugged. "Sure." Out of the corner of his eye he watches the stranger in the trench coat sit on the park bench. His eyes gaze back at the kids playing when he sees blue eyes glance back.

"I-I…"

Dean turns his head to look at the stranger.

"I'm aware you do not know me but I was wondering if I could ask for some…advice."

For some reason he couldn't help but grin at how nervous and embarrassed the man seemed. "Girl problems?"

His face slightly flushed. "I… It is complicated."

"I've got some time on my hands," the hunter replied. Normally he wouldn't give a crap but there was just something about this guy that… Well, he was straight and so decided not to think about the why any further than that.

"My whole life my brothers and sisters have always taken care of each other. This was especially true when our Father abandoned us. My oldest siblings didn't take it very well since they were the ones closest to him. So they made a plan, a truly horrible plan, that would hurt a lot of people," he admitted sadly. "Most of us were told we were trying to stop the thing we were ultimately helping to happen. And when I found I didn't think the corruption in our family went so high to the top. I couldn't believe my oldest brothers and sisters would not only refuse to stop something so horrible, but that it was their plan."

Dean frowned. Was this guy part of a mob crime family or something? It certainly sounded like it but this guy looked more like a tax accountant. Then again, mobs probably needed tax accountants.

"I tried to warn these two brothers who were also under the mistaken idea that we were trying to stop something horrible from happening. I sent one of them a message of where to meet me, but before they could get there…my brothers and sisters found me." Castiel frowned deeply. "They…were not kind. They threatened me. They threatened the brothers I had tried to warn and told me to keep my mouth shut or they'd assign someone else to be their communication between our family and the two brothers."

"The two brothers," the hunter interrupted.

The angel glanced up at him.

"They were your friends?"

"They taught me the true meaning of family." Cas looked back at the ground. "Because of me, my brothers and sisters succeeded in freeing one of my eldest brothers who had been imprisoned. I had been too scared, too set in my ways to listen to the eldest of the two brothers who pleaded with me to help him stop my family from breaking out my brother. We were too late. But he welcomed me when it became impossible for me to return home. My brothers and sisters would try to kill me on sight. I was constantly moving from place to place, searching for our Father. I knew if I could find Him, they'd listen to Him if He told them to stop. But I could find no sign of Him." He sighed. "There were countless battles that year. I was pleasantly surprised when due to the youngest brother's plan, two of my oldest brothers were imprisoned. Unfortunately the youngest brother had to join them, but it had been a price he'd been willing to pay. Without my two elder brothers, the family's plan couldn't happen."

"But it wasn't over, was it?"

Castiel nodded. "The eldest of the two brothers went to start a new, normal life as per his brother's last request. I tried to convince my brothers and sisters that our elder siblings had been wrong. Unfortunately, there was still one of my elder brothers who wanted to free our imprisoned family members and get the plan back on track. He threatened that if I did not fall in line I would no longer need to worry about my existence. While I managed to convince a number of my brothers and sisters to stand by me, the fact of the matter was, I didn't have the power to even pose a threat. An enemy of the family came to me and offered a deal. He didn't want their plan to go through either and so allied with me in exchange for," he paused, wondering how to put this, "half of the power and influence."

"That doesn't sound good."

"There was no other option. I couldn't let my brothers' and sisters' plan happen. Yo- the elder brother was finally living the life he always wanted and I wasn't going to let them take it all away from him."

Green eyes slightly widened in realization. "You love him, the older brother."

Blue eyes glanced at him for a moment. "I tried to save his brother. I tried but I just made things worse for him in the end."

"I'm sure he knows you tried your best." Dean tried to reassure him.

Castiel sighed, looking at the ground. "After he found out who I was working with he wouldn't even let me explain. He didn't believe me when I tried to tell him it was the only way." His jaw tensed. "At this point he may even believe I made things hard for his brother on purpose."

The hunter put his hand on the guy's shoulder. "Maybe he just needs time to cool down. I know I certainly need some alone time to calm down when I get pissed off," he said, offering him a smile.

Cas tilted his head. "I don't know if I have time to wait. The final fight is close and thanks to my alliance with my family's enemy I will win but I don't think he'll ever forgive me. I've tried and failed to come up with another plan."

"Well, then it seems to me that there really isn't a choice, is there? It's either kill or be killed."

He frowned. "But isn't doing the wrong thing for the right reason still wrong?"

"Look, if it were me. If it was my family on the line I'd do anything to keep them safe. Damn the consequences." Dean shifted as blue eyes looked into his.

After a moment, he offered a small, almost non-existent smile. "Thank you Dean."

The green-eyed man blinked. "Wait, how did you know my-" What the-! The guy in the trench coat was gone! Vanished! He glanced around but saw no sign of him. But when he looked back to where the stranger had been sitting he spotted a large black feather. He picked it up, almost dropping it when he felt as if he'd gotten shocked by static electricity. "What the hell was he?" He whispered to himself, finger stroking the soft feather.

Present Dean awoke, thoughts on his dream about some guy he'd talked to years ago. It was so long ago he couldn't really remember anything about the guy except for his story, his odd disappearance and the feather. As he thought about the story, he couldn't help but frown. It couldn't be. Sure, the angel could travel back in time but… He got up and quietly moved some of the stuff Bobby had put in the room so he could pull a box from one of the shelves. Opening the box revealed a long, sleek, black feather. When he picked it up he felt the same static electricity as before except this time it centered on the handprint the angel had left on his arm. "Cas," he whispered. He didn't even move when he heard the tell-tale sign of wings. Instead he stared at the feather for a moment before turning to hold it up to Castiel. "Is this yours?"

The angel's blue eyes stared at the feather in surprise. Dean had kept it all this time? His eyes sought the hunters, "Yes."

Cas was the guy with the siblings who were actually angels instead of mobsters and the two brothers he'd spoken of had been him and Sam. And he, Dean, was the one Cas wanted to protect, to keep safe and happy. "You," he paused for a moment, "love me." As if it shouldn't have been obvious. The blue-eyed angel had turned against his family for him. He'd lost all his mojo at one point for him. Hell, he'd even died twice. Balthazar, despite how annoying the dick was, had at one point flat out referred to Castiel as the angel who was in love with him. God, how fucking blind had he been to not even register that as a clue?

His gaze softened though his expression was neutral.

Part of him wanted to irrationally yell for not telling him while the bigger part of him realized that although he'd met Cas years before ever knowing who or what the angel was, the angel hadn't been aware they'd met in the past before now. He sighed. This was either really complicated or incredibly simple. He just wasn't sure which one. And damnit, why was face heating up! He shouldn't be blushing! And why? Just cuz Cas-! Dean unknowingly moved closer to the angel, his gaze moving between those blue eyes and Castiel's lips.

The angel slightly tilted his head, puzzlement and hope swirling in his gaze.

"There's no other way?" The green-eyed man questioned.

His expression fell, giving way to regret. "I'm sorry Dean."

"Mm," he nodded slightly, more to himself than to the angel. "Okay." The hunter looked into his eyes. "I trust you Cas," he couldn't help but smile at the change in the angel as he said that. "You do what you gotta do for family." He briefly brushed his lips against Castiel's before pulling away with a smirk at the glassy look in Cas's eyes. "We'll deal with the consequences later."

Castiel leaned forward to briefly kiss the hunter, his lips tugging up in a real smile after he pulled away. "Thank you for listening to my story."

"Yeah, well, you're the one who went through the trouble of going to the past to tell it."

"You didn't have to listen to the troubles of a complete stranger." He pointed out.

Dean shrugged and replied with a grin, "I'm just awesome like that.

"I agree. You are very overwhelming to deal with at times."

The hunter narrowed

his eyes. "Just for that, you're sleeping on the couch."

The angel tilted his head in confusion, "But I do not need to-"

"You're sleeping on the couch! End of story!"

After a moment, Cas said, "Yes Dean."

"And stop smiling!" Dean grumbled.

His smile remained as he disappeared from the room and reappeared next to the sofa downstairs in Bobby's living room. Dean had officially done what he'd observe many spouses and parents do. He'd just been grounded, banished to the couch for the night but he was also given forgiveness and the promise that his feelings need not remain unreciprocated. How could he not be happy about that?

The following morning an awkward conversation ensued about why Castiel was lying on the couch and why Dean had been the one to send him there which also resulted in some shock and an argument of "you can't just punish him like some child and then forgive him" against the poor argument of "I just did" and no, Dean was never going to admit sleeping on the couch was punishment for something else entirely.

And that's it. I'm pretty sure. I don't have any intension of writing more for this. So review and tell me what you think.

And now for the SPN Challenge of the week...for those who wish to try it.

A Stone Exterior Challenge

Prompt:

Season 7-8, Castiel and Dean spend a year in purgatory together before they find and exit through the door. During that year they fought almost constantly to protect one another, hardly letting the other out of their sight. But after a year the habit, the desperate need to ensure the other's safety and be in each other's presence doesn't just disappear.

Requirements:

Whenever they're out of each other's sight they're tense/jumpy/nervous/afraid something will happen to the other

Sam is slow to catch on