"How are you today?"
They sat in a circle of twelve people, including the doctor. Takao knew everybodys name by now even though in the beginning he had only known Izuki. They both sat next to each other as they always did in those meetings. They were all teens except the doctor. They also had all the same symtoms... save the doctor of course.
Those meetings were always the same. The doctor asks them questions, wants them to talk about their feelings, how they cope, what they want to do in the future. He says it will help talking to others. He is kind of right, but not in the way he wants to. Takao talks in the meetings. He talks to the doctor in private too but all those conversations mean nothing compared to the time he spends with Izuki about their shared problem. Because... in the end it is a shared burden. The doctor, even if he claims to understand, does not know. Could never understand what they lost.
Izuki had been the first person he ran to when he first realized something was wrong. Even though Izuki could do nothing more than nod and tell him to not overtext himself too much at the time, it had been the right decision to talk to Izuki. Only after Izuki started to slowly develop the same symptoms they started to research further.

This was one and a half year ago.

Takao sighed once they were outside and stretched. "I hate those meetings."
Izuki beside him chuckled. "You always say that afterwards."
"Only because it's true!" Takao exclaimed. "What time is it? I am hungry, lets go grab a bite."
Izuki looked at his watch, because by now out of the two of them, he was the only one that could still read the time. "Oh my wristwatch stopped." he mumbled.
"What's with that unlucky timing?" Takao asked and Izuki suddenly stopped in his tracks. "When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds!"
Now Takao stopped as well and blinked at first. "What the..." he started but then chuckled. "Okay, that was funny! And made me even more hungry." They both smiled at each other and continued their walk. They got the time from Izuki's cell and decided to go to a family restaurant.

"Izuki-Senpai and Takao!" they had been too engrossed in their conversation that they didn't realize that a rather large group had entered the resturant. Both looked over to the place where the voice, clearly Kagami's, came from. It seemed like both Shuutoku and Seirin came to eat at the same place.
They got greetings from everyone. Izuki's classmates ruffled his hair, the second and first years gave him their respect and they talked. The same went for Takao. He smiled at his former teammates, though his sempai's no longer were there, so they weren't exactly his real teammates, except for the second years. Which meant Midorima. "Hello Shin-chan! What are you all doing together?" he asked them after it quieted down a bit.
"We had a practise match together." Of course he got the answer from Kuroko instead.
"Oh yes I heard about that! I totally forgot. And who won?" Takao grinned towards them. He was not really curious anout the outcome, but he had to sound like that, or else it would start again. Those pitying eyes that he no longer could see, but Izuki could. They both had decided a long time ago to just let it go. Go on with their lifes.
Kagami growled. "We tied! Again! Shuutoku just got lucky!" That was definitley Kagami and his frustration. Takao had to laugh at that. He would never change.
"Luck is an ability only granted those worth it." "WHAT DID YOU SAY YOU-!"
Takao's laugh died immediatley. Not only had it been ages since he last heard this voice but also because of what Midorima just said. It made him feel sick. Very, very sick. It kinda hurt too.

He could no longer hear the bickering between Kagami and Midorima. He was just too shocked. He slowly closed his eyes and breathed in and out just as slowly to calm down.
"I am too hungry for fighting and imbecile!" Of course Midorima's voice had been the one to bring his wandering mind back to reality.
"Well, you should eat them. You must be hungry after all. We were also just about to leave." Takao felt Izuki's hand on his. He took a deep breath and grinned. "Yeah, we had the privilege to sit around all day listening to a bunch of teenagers and a dumb doctor. If this continues much longer I think I am going to get fat." he joked and stood up. Of course nobody got the reference, but he knew that nobody would ask, so yeah.
"Don't forget your bag." He heard Izuki. Yes, his bag, he had entered with one, didn't he. "Oh right, right. You really are a motherhen." he grabbed his handbag and outstretched his hand so Izuki could take it. "Don't eat too much Kagami. Kuroko wouldn't be able to carry you home." He joked, again.
"Ah Izuki-kun, we have a party with our class at the end of this week with some other schools before the exams. Will you come?" Who was that woman again? The coach from Seirin, right. The scary one.
"When excatly is it?"
Takao wanted to leave this place as soon as possible. He felt more uncomfortable with each passing second but he couldn't just drag Izuki out there, could he? Not when Izuki had come to his rescue in the first place. Also he needed to act normal.
"This Saturday, did you not pay attention in homeroom or something?" Seirin's captain joked. Izuki laughed softly. "Ah yes, yes. I forgot. It was mentioned, wasn't it." He knew Izuki thought about it. He also could point out the exact moment Izuki came to the conclusion. "I can't. This saturday is..."
Yes. This saturday they would go to Kyoto for an appointment for examinations at some specialist. Rather, it had been Takao's exams, not Izuki's. Takao was happy that Izuki was about to decline for him. Because Takao wanted nothing more than beg and scream for Izuki to not leave his side. Because Takao needed Izuki.
And because Takao knew that, and because he was Takao, Takao wouldn't beg nor scream.
He smiled again. "What are you talking about, Izuki? Of course you can go." "But-" Takao cut him off before he got any further and destroyed Takao's resolution. Izuki was too nice for his own good and that was why he desevered better than Takao clinging to him constantly. They were lifelines for each other, yes, but they were not each other's life. They both know that. Takao's life left him the moment he couldn't play anymore.
"I'll be fine. It's my exam after all, yours wont be due in months! Go have fun once in a while, mama." Takao smiled at him and squeezed his hands. He hoped that this was enough to convince Izuki.
"What are you guys talking about?" asked Kagami. For a moment there, there was only Izuki's hand in his mind. The touch of his hand, his presence. Only getting Izuki to leave him alone, even though he was utterly and completely scared of that exam. He was also scared of being alone. But at the same time Takao was more scared opening up too much to someone. Even if it was Izuki. Izuki wasn't his to keep, so he needed to define the limits.
It seemed that Izuki as well was startled by the sound of their surroundings. They were both silent for a second before Takao took it upon himself to answer. He was acting normal after all. "I have an appointment in a hospital in Kyoto this weekend, that's all. Normally Izuki here comes with me to those, in exchange I go to his as well." Which was rather an understatement. Takao had appointments every month, and Izuki had them three times a year... yet. "Since those appontments are boring as hell!" he added, hopefully sounding frustrated enough to make it believeable.
"Sucks, man." he heard Kagami say. Takao just shrugged and turned to Izuki. "So you go have fun, Senpai." he waved with his free hand, shooeing him away but not letting go of the other hand at the same time.
"Okay... if you say you'll be fine, then okay." Izuki didn't sound too convinced but hey, it was something. Takao smiled in relief.

"Then I will go with you."

Takao's smile did not exactly die at hearing this voice again, but he definitely felt the last bit of blood leaving his head area. He wondered how pale a human being could get without dying. He also wondered if anyone noticed. He laughed dryly. "What are you talking about, Shin-chan?"
"I have business with Akashi anyway. I was planning on going to Kyoto myself. It's no big deal."
Takao had blinked. A lot of times actually before realizing, that this, in fact, was no nightmare. It was reality. He didn't understand why Midorima suddenly would say that. That guy hasn't talked to him properly ever since he stopped the club all together, so why does he think he can just come back into his life again, after he disappeared.

Why? Because he is selfish. Because he is Midorima. And if it's him, Takao knew that he would willingly let himself be run over again and again by Midorima. No matter how many times, he would let Midorima come back and ruin his life. He knew it was unhealthy. But he never considered that there would be a chance that this would actually happen. Because Takao knew what the things that Midorima cares about were. And a Takao that couldn't play basketball anymore wasn't considered in them.
He doesn't know how long he was being silent before answering. What he did know was that everyone waited for his answer. And he did also know that Midorima's eyes were watching him. He couldn't see them of course. But he could feel them.
"Okay." he heard himself answer.
He also could feel Izuki's confusion. He could feel the other's as well. He could feel so much. He could feel everything. It should have been a good sign, it meant his senses sharpened. He was not a useless blind man anymore. But everytime he realized this, he became even more frustrated about his lost eyesight.
"Call me later. Izuki, come on. We have to go." he squeezed his hand a little.
He had done his best, but he knew that if he stood there among people that knew his past self, Midorima among them nontheless, he would lose it completly. He couldn't bear it anymore and thank goodness Izuki understood.

They payed and left as fast as they could without running. But even that was not fast enough anymore and he started running, dragging Izuki with him. He didn't know where he ran to, but he ran until he couldn't anymore and nearly vomited. They had eaten their lunch just moments before after all. Before they came to a halt, Izuki took the lead again. Takao guessed the park, because he was sitting on a bench not long after that.
"I am sorry, Izuki... I am so sorry..." he managed to say while panting. He felt like vomiting and he did in the end. He felt Izuki's hand on his back. And he felt the tears he had locked away for so long. He had only cried once since this whole disaster had started.
Only once, and that was on a hospital rooftop in the middle of the night. It had been Izuki that hold him together then. And it was Izuki that did the same this time again.
"Why..." he managed to say after his lunch had completely left him. "Why does he suddenly..." He couldn't breathe poperly, it hurt. And his head hurt. He felt dizzy and he was crying.

He always had been pathetic when it came to Midorima.

"I don't know." Izuki answered softly and cleaned his mouth with a neckerchief. At the same time he rubbed his back. "You have a panic attack, Takao. Breathe in slowly. It's alright. It will be over soon." Takao could only nod and let Izuki's voice lead him until he calmed down. This had not been his first panic attack and this had not been the first time Izuki was there to comfort him. They both knew exactly what to do in those situations by now, both had experienced them often enough in the past one and half year.

Takao chuckled after he was able to breathe again. "I am nothing but trouble for you, aren't I?"
"We hang on together and we'll so in the future." Izuki didn't ask, it was a statement. It didn't stop Takao's urge to nod at that though. "About this weekend-"
"No!" Takao stopped him before Izuki could start. "No. Just... no!"
"But it's Midorima."
Takao bit his lips. He was right, of course. It was Midorima. And Izuki was the only person other than himself that understood what this meant to him. "I will be fine. Well not exactly fine, but I'll manage. You know I can." He smiled. "Izuki you'll graduate soon, this is an important event!"
Izuki was still considering not to go. He was stubborn, Takao knew that. Beyond that nice and calm face was a stubborn guy. He had fought him on court often enough to know. That was not the only place where Izuki could get stubborn, of course, and thinking about basketball right now was not his intention in the first place.
"Look, if I wasn't fine about it I would have accepted your offer long ago, wouldn't I? You know how selfish I can be!" he patted him and the shoulder. "And now, let's get outta here. It stinks."
"The stinking part is your fault."