Take My Drunk Ass Home
Rating: T
Pairing: Oliver/Felicity
Season/Episode: Post 1.23, set in the future
Category: Humor/Romance
Music: "Take My Drunk Ass Home" by Luke Bryan
Written for: Summer of Olicity Challenge 4: Music & Lyrics
Synopsis: One too many drinks and suddenly Oliver Queen isn't the sharpest tool in the shed. Actually, he's just a tool. Written for Summer of Olicity Challenge 4: Music and Lyrics.
AN: Another one, and within in day of posting the first! Holy crap, the muse LOVES this challenge! LOL!
Huge thanks to my beta, hopedreamlovepray, you are the best!
Disclaimer: My original idea, but I don't own the characters or the show or the music. Just trying to be creative.
It's time to take my drunk ass home
I drank all the whiskey and my moneys all gone
Hit on all the girls, sang every song
It's time to take my drunk ass home
Oliver groaned. Where was all the pounding in his head coming from? More importantly, where the hell was he? Cracking an eye open, the bleary darkness told him most likely in the basement of Verdant. He attempted to move, but everything hurt. What the hell had happened that night? Drinking had been involved, but how much? So many questions… It hurt to even think.
"He's waking up!" The voice came from somewhere above him. It was soft, and most definitely female. Felicity? He couldn't be sure. As Oliver looked up to search for its source, his head began to swim and he closed his eyes again with a groan.
There was a soft hand on his shoulder followed by a dip in the couch he was laying on. He attempted opening his eyes again, and this time focused on the blonde sitting beside him. Yes, most definitely Felicity. Her hair was down in waves, her glasses replaced by contacts and she wore a red satin dress that stopped halfway up her thighs and clung to every curve of her body.
"You're an idiot, Oliver Queen," she glowered.
Oh, this was not going to be good, he decided. Being called an idiot by your super smart IT girl was a telltale sign that the night had been bad. What had he done to prompt her ire? Oliver was hesitant to ask, so he just stared at Felicity as she glared down at him, her blue eyes about as angry as he'd ever seen them.
"What happened?" he rasped, his voice sounding rough in his ears.
"You decided tonight would be a great night to get completely shitfaced at my best friend's wedding!" Felicity yelled.
Oh, no… His hand wiped over his face, trying to remember what happened. How could he have ruined this night for Felicity? She'd begged him to be her date just so her friends would stop asking her why she remained single, but he'd gone and fucked that up royally.
"You don't even remember what happened!" she accused.
"Well, from what I remember…"
Well I worked all week
So I could come here
Have a good time and an ice cold beer
"Yep, that's how it all started," Felicity said, crossing her arms over her chest.
But 1 turned to 10 and 10 turned to 20
And 20 plus an empty bottle's too damn many
"Twenty?!" Even Oliver couldn't believe he'd had that much to drink. What had he been thinking? What had prompted this binge in the first place? The last time he'd had that much to drink was when he and Tommy were at a college party and they were doing keg stands with the entire frat house.
"Don't forget the bottle of whiskey," Felicity reminded him as her glare deepened.
Oh, dear god…
It's time to take my drunk ass home
I drank all the whiskey and my moneys all gone
Hit on all the girls, sang every song
It's time to take my drunk ass home
Oliver attempted to sit up.
Well it seems that I, misplaced my shirt
"Um, where'd my shirt go?" he asked, realizing he was naked from the waist up.
"You threw up on it in the car. Dig is not happy with you right now, by the way."
I can't find my keys for all this parkin' lot dirt
"And my keys?" Oliver questioned, realizing the jacket to his suit was gone as well, which was where he'd kept them and his wallet that night.
"In my purse. No way I was letting you drive tonight! That's why I called Dig in the first place," Felicity said.
My fall back plan, has done got sad
Oliver lay back down on the couch and closed his eyes, too ashamed to look at her. "But… Why?" he groaned.
"Laurel." Felicity's deadpan response elicited another moan.
That's when it hit him…
'Cause my ex-girlfriend ain't lookin' half bad
"Oh, no… She was there?!"
"Oh, yes!" There was no holding back on the emotions now. Felicity let him have it. "You went to say hi during the reception, but when you came back to the table, everything about you changed! You were cold and distant and you just kept drinking! Do you have any idea how embarrassing it was for me when you came back from the bar with an entire bottle of whiskey, which you proceeded to drink, shot after shot, all by yourself?" There were tears in her eyes now.
It's time to take my drunk ass home
I drank all the whiskey and my moneys all gone
Hit on all the girls, sang every song
It's time to take my drunk ass home
"Felicity, I…"
Help me up…
Felicity grabbed his arm and helped him into a sitting position. Oh, that had been a bad idea… The whole world began to spin around him.
Aw put me back down, put me back down
She let go and Oliver dropped back into the couch. He covered his face with his hand again, knowing this was completely out of character for him, yet when it came to Laurel, things were never easy. Whatever she'd said to him that night had probably been harsh, and most likely well deserved. He was willing to bet it had something to do with Tommy's death. That was the only thing that seemed to drive him to the bottle nowadays.
"That's not all," Felicity said.
A distant memory flashed in front of his eyes…
I sucker punched my best friend
"No!" Oliver was in denial.
"Yep! The second Dig tried to drag you out of hall you punched him in the face! You owe him one hell of an apology after tonight." Her high pitched voice hurt his ears, but he deserved it. "But that's not all! You proceeded to make a total ass out of yourself…"
Another memory, this time somewhat more painful…
And the bouncer head locked me on stage with the band
"There were bouncers?" Oliver couldn't believe what he had done. It was no wonder everything hurt.
"More like really angry groomsmen, but they could have been bouncers. They were really big," Felicity said.
I look like hell, I feel like shit
I think it's time I call it quits
It's time to take my drunk ass home
I drank all the whiskey and my moneys all gone
Hit on all the girls, sang every song
It's time to take my drunk ass home
"Felicity, I am so sorry," Oliver tried desperately to apologize. But she was already hopping off the couch, her cream colored heels click-clacking their way out of the foundry.
He tried to stand but the shooting pain from his ankle quickly put him back on the couch.
Yea it's time to take my drunk ass home
I twisted up my ankle, can't find my cell phone
It wasn't in the pockets of his pants so it had to be in her purse along with his keys and wallet. "Felicity, wait!" Oliver called out to her. He stood up again, this time hobbling in the direction she'd gone. That's when he began to taste blood.
Yea my lips all bust and my buzz is gone
'God, damn it!' Oliver thought to himself as he leaned against the desk where Felicity usually sat working on her computers. Tonight had been an awful night. Going to talk to Laurel at the wedding had been a stupid idea. Whatever had possessed him to do it, he wished he could take back if it meant salvaging his relationship with Felicity.
She meant the world to Oliver now. She'd been there for him through the fall of the Glades and had done so much in the months that followed. Having said yes to accompanying Felicity to that wedding should have been a small way to repay her kindness, but he'd gone and fucked it up like the idiot she said he was.
"Please," Oliver begged as he watched her reach the door. Felicity paused, her hand on the knob. It seemed as if she were mulling over her next move. Her shoulders slumped as she turned to face him.
"What, Oliver?" she sharply replied, her eyes still ringed with unshed tears.
He hobbled to her, the look on her face softening the closer he got. "I know I don't deserve your forgiveness, but I just want you to know I'm very, very sorry for everything I did tonight. Can I do anything to make it up to you?" he asked.
Felicity stood there for several long moments looking contemplative yet again. There had to be something he could do for her. Oliver waited patiently as the silence stretched on for a few more minutes. Finally, she sighed and said, "I wanted you to have a good time tonight. That's why I brought you with me. I wanted you to enjoy yourself. I wanted you to loosen up and not have to worry for a night. That's all I wanted. One night of you just having some fun, spending some time away from all this arrow-ing.
"I asked you to come with me because I knew you were still having trouble with a lot of stuff and you just needed a break from it all. I wanted for us to have fun and dance and just enjoy some time away from trying to save the world.
"You want to make this up to me? I want one night, just you and me, enjoying a break from this insanity we constantly live in. I want a break from it, but most importantly, I want you to take a break from it because I know you've been through hell. I don't care what we do, just as long as it doesn't involve bows and arrows and criminal activity. That's all I want."
Oliver was struck by her words. He never realized just how much of his pain and suffering Felicity saw on a daily basis. Nor had he realized how much she cared enough to see he needed a break from it. Tonight really hadn't been about her at all. It had been about him. She had wanted him to enjoy a night away from being under the hood. She had wanted him to have fun. And he'd gone and done the exact opposite.
"You trust me enough to plan this out?" Oliver hesitantly asked seeing her waver from foot to foot.
"I do," Felicity said. "I've always trusted you. But sometimes you really know how to test that trust."
"I promise I'll make this right," he replied as the relief spread over him. But with the relief came the nausea and he added, "But for right now, I think…"
It's time to take my drunk ass home
"Yes, let me take your drunk ass home," Felicity wryly repeated as she wrapped an arm around his waist and led him to the door. "Just promise me you won't throw up in my car."
"Unfortunately, this is one thing I don't think I can promise you."
"Well, at least warn me so I can pull over."
"I can do that."
If y'all agree, then sing along
It's time to take, my drunk ass home
So, I kinda put myself into a spot with this story, huh? Oh, well... There will be another part to it when I figure out what Oliver can do to make it up to Felicity. Trust me, though, it will make y'all smile!