Hazing the Underling
SUMMARY: New reapers in London's Shinigami Dispatch should heed the following advice: 1.) Pray that you don't get assigned under William T. Spears' stringency, and 2.) Watch out for Grell Sutcliff. Unluckily for Ronald Knox, nobody told him about Rule #2.
GENRE: Friendship/Humor
RATED: PG / K+
NOTABLE CONTENT: Suggestive Humor & Brief Mild Language
COPYRIGHT NOTE: I don't own Kuroshitsuji / Black Butler
STORY TAKES PLACE IN: No specific timeframe; one of the (many) ways I imagine Grell and Ronald meeting for the first time. Minor references post-Jack the Ripper arc.
COMMENTS: Written because I just love the "little brother and big sister" bond between Ronald and Grell. There are also some tidbits of Grell-style fantasies involving mild Grelliam & Grell/Sebby sprinkled in for good measure. Enjoy!
Title inspired by Yen Press' English translation of Black Butler volume XII when Ronald equates Grell's embarrassing him to "hazing an underling." Poor Ronnie. XD
Hazing the Underling
Aiselne P.N.
Ronald Knox would never forget his first day at London's Shinigami Dispatch. It was a picture-perfect morning: flawless sunshine in the flawless reaper's realm. The boy awoke bright and early, washed thoroughly, ate a delicious breakfast, wore his new uniform and white oxfords, shined his black spectacles, and styled his short blond and black hair in a perfect cowlick. London's newest grim reaper was ready and raring to take on the world!
Being fresh out of the academy, Ronald was bursting with energetic pride. Oh, how Ron could not wait to start reaping souls and showing off his prowess, specifically showing off that prowess to the office's ladies. Ronald had a sinking suspicion that he would get quite lucky—figuratively and physically (and hopefully the latter more than the former)—in London's branch.
But there was work to be done before Ronald could undertake his quest for a new sweetheart. The boy was headstrong in maintaining an overtime-free record. So when Ronald received his first allotment of paperwork, he did not think twice about hopping right to it! Dispatch rookies' first assignment:
New recruits must report to their assigned senior advisors.
Green eyes blinked behind his glasses, rereading the directions. Ronald was surprised that the paperwork was not a "job" at all, instead written instructions for newcomer orientation. Apparently official reaping assignments would be issued after fledglings were paired up and acquainted with their superiors.
Admittedly, the blond felt minutely insulted at the thought of needing a supervisor. Why did he need a babysitter?! There was a reason why Ronald graduated from the academy! Yes, he was a new grim reaper, but Ronald Knox knew he was more than capable of proving himself and getting his job done. If anything, a senior would get in his way—especially if the "senior" turned out to be an actual elder reaper. Ronald did not need some ugly old geezer bossing him around.
But rules were rules and rookies were in no position to complain. Ronald knew next to nothing about London Dispatch's personnel, except that it was a gross understatement to call the manager "tough as nails." Thank the gods that Ronald was not assigned under William T. Spears—every newbie from Ron's class feared the possibility of getting stuck with London's austere boss. The young reaper breathed a heavy sigh of relief when he first read the name of his new senior:
Grell Sutcliff
At least I haven't got Mister Spears. Shrugging indifferently, Ronald traversed Dispatch's hallways towards his assigned mentor's office. The standard-issued paperwork provided vague information: nothing but text with a brief description of this Sutcliff's level of experience. No pictures and no personal information, obviously intended to keep relations professional between junior and senior. But that was fine with Ron; he had no intention of getting chummy with his advisor, unless 1.) his senior happened to be a "she," and 2.) she happened to be a knockout—and what were the odds of that dream coming true? There was no law mandating a senior must be an ugly old geezer.
Ah well, a guy can always dream, right?
Briefly losing himself in his wishful thinking, Ronald nearly overlooked a bulletin board that he had already walked past earlier. Terrific; he was walking in circles, and the last thing Ron wanted to be was tardy on Day 1. Just because he did not get assigned under Spears did not mean that Ron's superior was any less demanding about punctuality. Besides, getting lost in an office was embarrassing, even if it was only Ronald's first day. Why did every bloody corridor have to look identical?!
The sharp ding of a nearby elevator caught the blond boy's attention. Grosses of suited shinigami emerged from the opened doors; many looking like subpar Spears-lookalikes who were in dire need of a personality upgrade. Ron hoped London Dispatch was not entirely comprised of deadpanned reapers. Such boring characters—could one of them be his new mentor? The young death god preferred enthusiasm!
Nevertheless, now was as good a time as any to ask for directions. Odds were that one of those shinigami knew the whereabouts of Sutcliff's office. Not knowing (nor heeding) if running in the halls was frowned upon, Ronald dashed down the corridor to the rapidly emptying elevator. Reaper headquarters were always busy places, death stopping for no one, and the elevator was near-vacant upon Ronald's arrival. But the junior shinigami did catch one individual.
Maybe it was because Ronald inherently sought excitement over monotony, but the youth practically gravitated towards the one person who stood out from the crowd of blandness. The individual's high-heeled boot clicked against the transport just as Ron called out, "Excuse me! Wouldja' happen to know where Sutcliff-senpai's office is?"
The elevator's remaining occupant peered over the shoulder, taking note of the unfamiliar chap: a rookie, no doubt. Grell prided himself in knowing the face of every man in Dispatch (especially the handsome ones~). Not that this kid was hard on the eyes—Quite a cutie, actually—but "boys" did not rank quite as high as "men" on the redhead's hit-list.
Preferences aside, Grell humoured the novice, curling his lips in minute tease. Every reaper remembered those days: being the newcomer, high off graduation, dying~ to get deployed into the field, and swooning over his unbelievably gorgeous partner = boyfriend (though back then, William was completely in denial about what was really between him and Grell. "The only thing I want 'between us' is a steel-reinforced concrete wall, Sutcliff." Did dear Willy not realize that his coyness only made him all the more adorable…and desirable~?). Aah! Youth! Rookies were not Grell's favourites, but they certainly brought back fond memories.
Still, what did this kid want with "Sutcliff-senpai" anyway? Arrgh! Being called anybody's senior, no matter how formal, was almost an insult to a young lady like Grell. In the vain redhead's dictionary, "senior" translated as "elder," which translated as "old," and Grell would have none of that! No sir! If he had to be called "older" anything, Grell at least wanted to be "older sister," but nobody called him such. How odd…
Worse yet, did this kid not realize who he was addressing?! Newcomer or not, the blond should have known about the infamous Grell Sutcliff of the London Shinigami Dispatch. The scarlet starlet's reputation preceded himself, as any good diva ensured. It was when a famous actress' name became obscure that Grell began to worry. Then again, kids these days had no sense of taste for true talent, another reason why Grell was not an avid fan of younglings.
But now was as good a time as any to teach this naïve recruit not to use the Sutcliff name so thoughtlessly. Besides, teasing cute boys was oh so fun! Stepping aside to welcome Ronald into the elevator, Grell flashed a cheshire grin. "You're in luck, boy. I just happen to be heading towards Miss Sutcliff's office, myself~"
Not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, Ronald smiled gratefully, doing his best not to appear so surprised by his acquaintance's appearance—the redhead's flashy colour was startling enough, but those razor-teeth were another story altogether. The high-heeled fellow was the first reaper Ron met who did not blend into the sea of London's Spears-copycats. It was anyone's guess whether or not that red frock adhered to Dispatch dress code, but it carried an essence of rebellion that a younger lad like Ronald appreciated. Old school bored Ronald Knox.
As the elevator closed and made its gradual ascent, Ronald relaxed against the wall directly across the carmine-haired…man? Ron had to double-check to be sure. The experienced shinigami's appearance was strikingly effeminate, but his deep voice confirmed otherwise. And then some. Not that this was Ron's first encounter with a transvestite; academies always had their share of students struggling to decide their careers and their sexuality. Ronald never debated his preferences because he always, and quite proudly, vied for pretty girls.
"Sooo," Grell hummed, gloved hands absentmindedly combing through his lovely locks. First impressions were important and Grell wanted to make sure he looked his best. "What business do you have with Miss Sutcliff so early in the morning? She is a veeery busy lady, you know~"
Knowing his near-future mentor was female would be a nice bonus for Ronald. Folding his hands behind his head, the young reaper smirked in anticipation. "Well ya see, I just transferred to London's Dispatch. Name's Ronald Knox. Miss Sutcliff is my assigned senior advisor."
Grell's fluttering hands stopped halfway between his hair. Assigned senior advisor? When was this decided?! The crimson shinigami did not consider himself good with kids—unless it was a baby he had himself—meaning Grell certainly would not have volunteered to take a junior under his wing.
The arrangement had to have been William's doing. Dispatch's understaffing called for veteran reapers to contribute to the upcoming generation. In the past, Grell never had to worry about mentorship because upper management did not want their fledglings scarred for life. But desperate times called for desperate measures. That, and after his debacle with Madam Red, the demoted redhead was stuck with lowlier jobs—including babysitting.
Fuzzy his memory may be, Grell recalled William mention something earlier this morning…
"Sutcliff, are you paying attention?"
…Too bad Grell had been more preoccupied with Will's newest pair of trousers, which made the boss' bum look exceptionally appetizing. The perfect fit for the perfect arse! Ladies often skip breakfast to maintain their petite figures, but Grell was suddenly overcome with a ravenous need to break his fast with a generous slice of Will~yum!
"Oh darling, you have my undivided attention~!"
Realizing his predicament, Grell released his hair to fold his arms over his chest. It would be too much hassle to ask William to reassign this Ronald Knox kid. Grell was perpetually on thin ice with upper management. If he wanted to keep his scythe, never mind his job, the reaper knew he should refrain from ruffling any extra feathers.
But when was Grell supposed to inculcate a rookie?! The troublesome redhead already accumulated enough overtime to keep his datebook full for the next year (or ten). There was barely enough spare time to pop on over to the Phantomhive manor and woo his Sebas-chan.
"So, what's Sutcliff-senpai like, anyway?" Ronald's question coerced Grell from his musings. The blond had this enthusiastic light in his green eyes, the kind that came with every brat fresh out of the academy. "I wasn't told much, but the briefing I read said she holds the record for most souls collected by one reaper in London's retrievals unit. Is that true?"
Piqued, Grell automatically flashed another proud smile. Granted, many of those souls were not necessarily on the to-die list, but who cared about minute details? Little Mister Knox already abided by Rule #1 in Grell's book: flattering can get one anywhere, especially with the ladies.
"Oh, you better believe it's true!" the red reaper happily boasted, unable to resist striking his favorite pose. "She is a veritable goddess of death~!"
Ronald liked the sound of that. The last senior he wanted was someone who preferred pencil-pushing over fieldwork. It felt pretty awesome to work under somebody who happened to be a champion. Superb material for future pickup lines: "Hey, girls! Just so you know, I happen to be the official apprentice to London's record-holding soul retriever." He could already hear the ladies squealing their oohs and aahs at Ronald's coolness. Perhaps being an understudy would not crimp Ron's style after all.
Although, the bicolour-haired boy also felt a smidgen of intimidation. Record-holders tended to be arrogant, or live under the concept that, "You can do better! 'Giving your all' is never enough!" The higher his senior was on the food chain, the higher his senior's expectations might be of Ronald. He had plenty of confidence in his abilities, and Ronald certainly liked challenges of the reaper business, but he hoped his senior would not be a complete hardass. What if Sutcliff-senpai forbade Ron from taking Saturday nights off? Ronald Knox could not bear the thought of losing all of his free time and missing out on the best parties! Then how would he get a girlfriend?!
Unsure what to think, Ronald rubbed the back of his neck, chuckling nervously. "So, eh, is this 'goddess' merciful, or does Miss Sutcliff bring death upon her targets and subjects?"
Cute analogy, though it took a moment for Grell to realize exactly what the kid meant. Technically, since this was Grell's first venture in senior-hood, even he did not know how he might treat his underlings. Thoughtfully tapping a finger to his lips, the redhead gave some earnest thought to Ronald's inquiry.
"Weeell…she certainly isn't the type of woman you can push around," began Grell, imagining himself mentoring the young man standing across from him. "She lives by the law of 'hell hath no fury like a woman scorned,' and any man who tries otherwise inevitably gets sawed off."
Ronald gulped and made a mental note never to piss off his advisor. "Uh, did you say 'sod' off?"
"No dearie, I didn't," Grell giggled darkly, grinning like the chainsaw-wielding lunatic he was. He could hardly wait to acquaint Ronald with his beloved death scythe…when/if Grell retrieved it from William's confiscation, that is. Those rinky-dink scythe-scissors did not cut it, atrocious pun intended.
"But Miss Sutcliff is a lady, too," winked Grell, noticing how Ronald started to look a tad pale at the senior's earlier intimidation. "You be nice to her and she'll treat you more than well~"
Ronald felt better after hearing that last sentence. He certainly knew how to pamper women. "Well in that case, I probably shoulda' brought a peace offering, huh?" chuckled the novice. Arse-licking was never a bad idea, especially for underdogs. "Is Miss Sutcliff a 'flowers' or 'chocolate' kinda' girl?"
"Both, actually." Grell considered himself many kinds of girl, too many for some men to handle. "She also gladly accepts makeup, perfume; real eau de toilette, none of that cheap toilet water that prostitutes douse themselves in—shoes that shine and have a heel no shorter than two inches; that is the minimum height, not maximum, mind you—and dresses; sexy, not frilly, and with a modest number of petticoats. Nothing too poufy to compromise her figure, of course—and lingerie—why aren't you writing this down, Ronald?"
The poor boy needed a moment to find his words amidst Grell's prattling. "I, uh, think I'll just stick with flowers and chocolate for now, thanks."
"Suit yourself," shrugged the red-haired reaper, predicting a time in the future when Ronald would need another lesson on what women want. Oh, the things Grell could teach! Instead of considering an underling to be a nuisance, perhaps Grell needed to consider this a golden opportunity for a protégé. It would be a horrid shame for all of Grell's knowledge, experience, and beauty not to be passed on to the next generation.
"To tell you the truth, you are a bit younger than Miss Sutcliff's preferred men, anyway." He did not necessarily intend to insult Ronald; Grell was just being honest. Ordinarily, it was Grell who looked at males, but now the ginger had someone looking to him. It was almost a farce. After years of wanting a stud to call his own, Grell finally got himself someone…just not the kind of man who frequented his fantasies. And knowing William, that was precisely why he assigned Grell an underage understudy. Ooh, how Will was such a sadist, the other half to Grell's masochism! And silly Willy insists there's nothing between us. Ha!
As for Ronald, well, the chances of a scandalous senior-junior affair were slim(mer. Never say never!). But Grell had to admit that he was paired with an awfully adorable rookie. Ron had yet to mature out of his boyish sweetness, something Grell often overlooked for more sensual prey. Still, every girl needed a little cuteness in her life. Ronnie was like a fluffy, gold and black-haired teddy bear that Grell wanted to cuddle and squeeze.
Even better, Ronald resembled a little brother. He needed a big sister~
"But your senior is quite the older sister type, too," Grell smiled warmly. For once in the shinigami's life his libido was overruled by a deeper desire. The red reaper still wanted to bear children of his own, but Ronald Knox' apprenticeship posed an intriguing opportunity. Nobody called Grell a big sister because nobody ever saw him act accordingly…so the man told himself, that is. But with Ron, Grell could finally show the world his nurturing abilities. It was wonderful practice for the future when he would have Sebastian's babies! "I–She will certainly look out for you, Ronnie."
The younger reaper could have done without the pet name, but awkwardly smiled for politeness' sake. Ronald was not looking for a mentor who doubled as his babysitter or big sister. But at least Miss Sutcliff did not sound like a total stiff who would be scrutinizing every blasted step Ronald took. He liked his freedom. As far as Ron was concerned, if he and his senior understood each other then their relationship would go more than swimmingly.
When the elevator finally dinged again the shinigami duo exited onto their destined floor. Ronald felt light on his feet, not merely because of the awkward feeling one experiences after leaving an elevator. The future seemed bright for his career in London, and if word was correct about Sutcliff-senpai, then Ronald sure was lucky to be paired with the cream of the crop!
Strolling ahead, Ronald chuckled. "Sounds like I've got myself a pretty cool senior then."
"Oh pleeease! Miss Sutcliff is much more than 'cool,' boy!" Grell playfully corrected with a wiggle of his gloved finger. "'Cool' is such a pedestrian adjective, and frankly it's utterly inaccurate. Miss Sutcliff is 'hot' as opposed to your 'cool.'"
The womanizing chap smirked with greater interest. Perhaps it was inappropriate to ask, but Ronald could not help but wonder, "How hot?"
"Red~hot!" boasted the vain reaper, strutting forward and sashaying his long coat. If there was one thing that Grell Sutcliff loved more than ogling and seducing handsome men, it was indulging in his illusive comeliness. "She is drop-dead gorgeous~!"
"Then I can't wait to meet her!" beamed Ronald, his sunny smile looking all too cute in Grell's emerald eyes. Goodness, that lad was a guaranteed heartbreaker. The boy barely noticed the redhead stifle a squeal before shaking hands in appreciation. "Thanks a lot for showing me the way. It's been great talking to ya, um…"
Realizing he made a rookie mistake, Ron blushed softly before chuckling impishly. "Heh, sorry, but I never did catch your name, s—" He stopped himself again, unsure to add "sir" or "ma'am" to address his acquaintance. After all, it was anyone's guess as to who this redhead happened to be. It was doubtful that a flagrantly-dressed shinigami worked in upper management, but Ronald knew it best to make good first impressions all around.
"My! Such a little gentleman you are~!" Grell gushed, squeezing Ronald's hand whilst yanking his arm and drawing the smaller reaper close. Before Ronald knew what in hell hit him, a sisterly kiss pecked his forehead. "You and I are going to get along juuust fine, my precious protégé!"
The realization hit the blond like a punch in the gut. A stunned Ronald stood motionless, barely noticing his taller colleague trot to the nearest office door. The door was labeled with its occupant's name; the label printed with text coloured red, as red as the scarlet grim reaper opening her—his office:
Grell Sutcliff
"Come along now, Ronnie dear~!" Grell winked behind the bright frames of his spectacles. "We have sooo much more to learn about each other!"
Without intention, Ronald Knox had already learned more than enough about his new senior for one day. And it was only the beginning. Well, Ron had hoped his senior would be a knockout…and he felt like he had just been knocked on his arse!
Those rookies assigned to Mister Spears sure had all the luck.
The End
A/N: Thanks for reading! Liked it? Hated it? Please share your thoughts with a review. :)