Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy, nor do I own Happy Tree Friends. If I did, the world would have much more red on its walls. *hides hands behind back*

Zack was waiting patiently behind elevator doors. He was glad Cloud had stopped by to help him with his paperwork, or else he wouldn't have made it so early out of his office. His small, blond lover always knew when he was overly tired, and helped him with whatever he was doing. Not like his other lover, Sephiroth, who tortured him the whole day. He sometimes thought the man had tendencies...

Oh well. Soon he would kick his boots off, stretch on the oversized couch they owned, Cloud would massage his scalp, while Sephiroth prepared him some strong tea, before taking a shower, then going to bed with his two sex kittens.

Or so he thought.

When he stepped out of the elevator, his enhanced hearing caught strange noises coming from their apartment. At first he thought there were dying mice inside his living room. Then he heard Sephiroth laughing like a maniac.

"AHHHH HA HA HA HAAAAH! This is so cooooool!" He was saying.

"Seph, stop it, it's not funny, they're dying" Cloud whined.

"They're not dying, Cloud." Sephiroth said, that manic tone still to his voice. "They have an unlimited amount of blood and intestines, they always survive. They scream just for the show. Hojo's experiments would be jealous."

A series of screams followed his statements to emphasize the 'show'.

"Isn't this fuuuun?" 'I told you, reader, I told you Sephiroth had those tendencies...' Zack thought angrily.

A loud squelching noise could be heard.

"Seeeeph, stooop iiiiit..." Cloud whined.

More screaming and crunching noises.

"Aaawwwesooome..." Sephiroth ignored Cloud, who was pitifully whining and whimpering, and by the sound of his voice, on the verge of hysteric tears.

Zack had an image brought to his mind where Sephiroth was standing on top of a pile of corpses, his hands clutching and holding up the remains of his preys' intestines for all to see. His eyes were also slightly bulging out of his head, tilted back in manic laughter. Anime style.

He couldn't take it anymore. He entered his apartment, prepared to see blood and gore on his walls, or bits of corpses adorning his once finely, professionally decorated living room, or maybe even a dead Turk here or there. He wouldn't mind the last option, a certain red headed one was slowly getting on his nerves.

What he saw was none of the above. As he entered the apartment, he saw Sephiroth and Cloud sitting on the floor, watching what seemed to be cartoons. Sephiroth paid no attention to him coming in, but Cloud ran to him, hiding behind him. Then he looked to the TV. He arched an eyebrow at the song that went 'la-la la-la-la'.

'Happy Tree Friends' appeared on the screen.

I know, the ending sucks, I'm a horrible oneshot writer. But I just downloaded 'Happy Tree Friends', and I imagined Sephy watching it. I was scared for a moment, then I went: "Oh, what the hell" and wrote this fic. If Sephiroth kills me for this, I'll die happy knowing it was the War God, the Ultimate Hotness, the Sex on Legs General Sephiroth that killed me with his oh-so-long and oh-so-suggestive sword...pleeease review... it will save innocent baby animals from showcasting on my favorite cartoons...