Not Enough: The Life I Had
Have you ever stood in the middle of a room filled with people, yet you felt soo…alone?
I was at one of my parent's annual parties when I felt it. A world I grew up in, the life I always wanted was gone. Well no, but… I just…I couldn't…I just didn't want it any more, any of it.
The ballroom filled with millions dancing, laughing and enjoying themselves. I wanted to join them, I really did. To fit in the way I once did.
But the way I acted…the way I was, it was all just a lie. An act. It wasn't…me… Like when you pretend to enjoy one of mother's dishes (her cooking is barbaric) but in all honesty it tastes like carpet.
I was lost. The life I once wanted, one of money, power, greatness, I just didn't want it.
I always though I had the good life. But now…it's just imperfect. It just means nothing to me anymore.
And now I'm becoming something I hate. As that thought crossed my mind, all I felt- all I could feel- was emptiness. It was like I was floating on an ocean, that was composed of water completely black, and all I could do was lay there feeling trapped. I felt…cold.
All I could feel was the coldness attacking every part of me. Even my heart of ice.
It wasn't right and it wasn't me. So I left. I walked away from all the prejudices and my old self. And as my old heart melted away, a new one formed in its place.
- Draco Malfoy