Legacy's Legacy
(Major warning for character death. Minor warning for slurs, implied self harm, emotional abuse and mentions of abuse. If you're easily triggered please don't read this.)
"Sometimes, it's not obvious. Sometimes, it's so painful that every step is a burden. Sometimes, fake smiles and laughs can make them believe. Sometimes, that's what happened when you where unlucky.
Emily Junk was an unlucky person, it was a fact. Her mum forced her expectations and ideals onto poor little Emily (" no Emily! You CAN'T skip your singing lessons because your so called friends want to you over." "Are you wearing that today Emily? That's not what a proper Bella would wear, it's what a stripper would wear. You don't want to be a stripper when you're older do you?") Her dad called her a dyke and beat her, repeatedly, for years, because she went out with a girl in year three (yeah, Beca wasn't the only one with dad issues) and, on top of all of all that, she was bullied ("hahaha, did you see how she RAN?! She wobbled!" "Oh look, there goes the junk of the school.") So I suppose you could say Emily Junk was a very unlucky person. However, she wanted that to change when she went to Barden University, she was going to try and join the Bella's and study hard and make new friends and be amazing.
Who was she kidding though? That doesn't happen to people like Emily. It never has, never will. If anything, it got worse.
She joined the Bellas, well, it wasn't like they had a choice with her mother and all. She tried to ignore the comments, she was sure they where meant to be harmless, sometimes telling herself that isn't enough though. She had new friends, and you know, they where nice people. Especially Beca Mitchell. Don't even get Emily started on Beca Mitchell. Her smug little smile, her eyes that sparkle, how she was ALWAYS nice to Emily, how she always made time for Emily (she was one of the three who did, the other two being Jessica and Ashley) how she always made those sarcastic retorts that made Emily laugh... How Beca seemed to be the only one who made her feel like she belonged, like she mattered, not even Jessica and Ashley could.
Okay. So maybe Emily had a crush on Beca. Maybe. Anyway, even if she did, what would it matter? She's straight, even if she wasn't she would totally be going out with Chloe, Emily isn't stupid, she can see the love in their eyes when they look at each other, and that's fine. What isn't fine though, is that Emily has to pretend that her heart isn't slowly being chiseled away every time Chloe kisses Beca's cheek, or flirts with her.
What Emily doesn't notice though, is the look in Beca's eyes when she looks at Emily, and the look she gives Chloe is like holding a candle to the sun. It's noticeable, but it's not bright and massive and it disappears, soon enough. Shhhh, do what they all did though, don't tell Emily, let her suffer for a bit longer... That's what everyone in her life does.
It was the night before the super secret could be Satan cult sacrifice party that the Bellas where required to go to. The one where Beca handed the envelope to Chloe and Emily had to ignore the sound of her heart shattering a bit as they brushed hands and Beca winked at Chloe. What Emily missed though, was the adoring smile that was sent Emily's way... By... Beca. That doesn't matter though, because Emily didn't see Chloe near Beca when her and Beca where cuddling. Don't get Emily wrong though, she likes Chloe but Chloe doesn't like her. She tries to hide it, sure, but sometimes Emily gets a glimpse of the withering stares sent her way by Chloe. Emily tries to make it seem like she's ignorant of this (ignorance is a bliss right?) but she never was, never will be, and it hurts her, deeply. She's the one that Chloe is doing that to, fun loving, bubbly Chloe isn't doing that to anyone else is she?
Emily sighed and whispered into Beca's neck, "I don't think I can do any of this Bee." She slowly traced the bee tattoo that was on Beca's collarbone, wondering what would happen if Emily lifted her head a slight bit to meet Beca's an-
"Don't worry, Em. I know you can do it, you'll be perfectly fine, okay?"
Little did Beca know how wrong she was about Emily.
"I hate you."
The words still rang through her skull as she tried to blink back her tears and quietly whispered to Chloe,
"I'm sorry, I'll leave... I'm just... So... Sorry," she whispered, unaware of Beca walking up behind her.
"Hey, we don't want that, right Chlo?"
Chlo. It's fine, just a nickname.
Just a nickname.
"No. Don't 'right Chlo' me. Emily can't do this, she's a liability. She's putting us at risk of not winning the worlds. We can't afford to have her in the Bellas, Beca."
Oh... Oh... Oh. Right... A liability... Maybe Fat Amy was right. Maybe she was stupid for thinking she belonged.
"Chloe!" Beca growled out.
"She's staying, if she wants to of course. I'm sorry but I'm not letting you waste an amazing singer and person just because... Admittedly... She's not good under pressure." After that Beca slipped her arm around Emily and whispered in her ear, "please just consider not leaving? Can you please just stay for the party and sleep on it?" Emily sighed and nodded. Beca beamed at her and led her over to a little couch in the corner, ignoring Chloe as she did.
"I'll be right back with the drinks." She mumbled in Emily's ear.
If only she waited a bit. Maybe that would have spared the last of Emily's poor battered heart.
She was idly chatting with Benji, waiting for Beca when she them. Kissing. Drinks still in Beca's hand as she was getting kissed by Chloe. Not Emily. Chloe. Chloe who knew that Emily liked Beca. She could feel the tears sliding down her face. Hear Benji's worried questions.
Emily Junk was done. She wouldn't play the game called life anymore. She was finished. Finished of being manipulated. Finished of being used. Finished of hiding her cries of a night. Finished of wearing long sleeves when it was too hot. Finished of pretending she didn't like Beca. Fucking Beca. It had to be her.
She slowly stood up, brushing past Kommisar and ignored the whispered "I'm sorry," that fell upon death ears. Emily knew what she needed to do, and she'll be damned if anyone stopped her. She knew, or thought she knew, that it was time. She was done. Years and years if being trodden on... Manipulated... Used... She. Was. Done. She walked back to the Barden Bella house that she had a room in, she went into her bag and got the bottles. She thought of how easy it'd be, how pain free for herself it'd be. It was for the best right? Nobody liked Emily Junk anyway. They tolerated her, they didn't like her. They used and abused her and if the only way Emily could end her miserable life and gain what little control she could was by doing this, then she was damn well going to do it. Then again, it wasn't much of a life when people dictated everything you did anyway. She grabbed a piece of paper and scribbled down the four important words that she had wanted to say for a long time.
She uncorked the bottle and swallowed all of the pills. Collapsing on the floor,. She give into the darkness, clutching the piece of paper with the words that once gave her so much strength in her hand.
That was how Beca found her, thirty minutes later, with the piece of paper in her hand, with the words "I love you Bee" scribbled onto it.
The saddest thing is, that Emily always grew up not knowing that she was worth so much more than people treated her, she never knew that she left an Emily shaped crater in our hearts. She never knew that Beca couldn't listen to music, couldn't mix, that she refused to eat. What she did know was that little over two months later Beca met her up in Heaven, and I'm pretty sure that they had a great happy ending. Well, as great as their happy ending could be.
What I know though, was that it was my fault. That's why I was so adamant that we name our child Emily. That's why I disappear twice a week, because I made someone feel so miserable that they took their life, and I made my best friend take her own life, because she felt that it was meaningless without Emily." Chloe sniffed and turned around, facing her wives shocked faces. She hesitantly looked at them as she wiped her tears away.
"And that's why, Aubrey and Stacie, that's why I can't forgive myself. That's why two of our friends died." Chloe turned back to face the window and saw her daughter, Emily, who had a wife called... Beca...
(So that was my first fanfiction, I'm sorry it had to be so angst-y and involved suicide but I had this idea stuck in my head for a while...Ratings would be appreciated!)