Chapter 1: Welcome to Sporks!
When May hopped out of her father's car, she was disappointed to find it hot and dry outside. At her old home in Forks, it rained a lot and she had been used to it. Here in Sporks, it was H-O-T!
At least there aren't any people who are obsessed with wearing glitter, but are afraid to go outside. And are enemies with the local dogs. She thought trying to give herself a good reason for staying.
"How ya doin' April?" her father, Marley, asked. May sighed angrily. "My name isn't April!" Marley looked confused. "Okay than…..June? Or is it March? How 'bout July?" May snapped.
"MY NAME IS FRICKIN' MAY!" she stepped forward to kick him in that place.
But unfortunately, Marley forgot to clean the yard, and May slipped on a banana peel that just happened to be there. "AW, FU…FU…FUDGECICLES!" she yelped.
Marley helped May up and led her into his small, empty, hollow, bare, lonely, [any other word you can think of to describe a lonely old man's home], house. "OMG!" May yelled sarcastically. "I love it!" Marley smiled. "Really?"
"No." Marley's smile disappeared. But quickly came back as he thought of something. "I've got a present for ya!" May suddenly became very happy as she thought of the red, beat up truck she was going to get. She wanted a truck just like Bella Swan's.
Marley led her outside and over to a covered lump. Shaped very much like a car…
"Ta da!" He smiled. May's smiled quickly dissolved as the covers were lifted off. A Yellow Volkswagen sat there. Brand new too.
"WHAT THE HELL, DAD!" she screamed. "DO YOU WANT ME TO GO AROUND DRIVING IN THAT BRAND NEW CAR WITH PEOPLE PUNCHING PEOPLE SAYING, YELLOW ONE, AND THAN GETTING INTO CAR ACCIDENTS AND CAUSE THE WORLD'S BIGGEST ACCIDENT…EVER!" May's face was fire-truck red. Or as she said, fire-*uck red.
Marley pouted. "I didn't really think of that." May shook her head. "You didn't know. Sorry." There was silence. And then there was Marley. "On other terms, you'll be going to Sporks High! You'll start tomorrow."
"At least there aren't any glitter freaks here. I might actually like living in Sporks."
"Uh…actually…February, Sporks has had a problem with glitter. It's a fad. See?" Marley showed May his glitter tattoo that read, 'I Heart Sparkles.'
"GET ME OUT OF HERE!" May through her hands up and dropped to the ground.
"At least this isn't Twilight."
"Um…January…."