Coauthor's note:
Ditte sent me this lovely review asking if Edward would like to be interviewed. He did. I let Ditte do the honors. This interview with Edward was written in collab with Twitteditte. It will be made a separate story when I have a Chapter 8 to post here... There are hints to some action in an upcoming chapter, though.
Ditte also asked if maybe we could get a little inside scoop on how Alice ended up at Jasper's... So I'm working on that as an outtake. It's a marvel what a little reviewing can do...
Enjoy.
dizz
~oOo~
Interview with a rockabilly
By: Ditte for MILF
I'm at Bistro Amore downtown. I'm sitting here at the bar waiting for a certain heart throb movie star Edward Cullen *sigh*. This is sooooo one of the perks of being a writer for web based magazine Moms Into Literature and Film. He's been hard pressed for some good press lately, and I'm ready to apply some pressure, if you know what I mean *wink, wink, nudge, nudge* I'm here on a fact-finding mission, though. I'm to get the dirt on Edward Cullen's doings these past few weeks. My editor gave me the interview over a dozen other female writers, all begging for it, because I assured her I would be unaffected by the whole fuckhot actor thing. Here we go...
In walks THE Edward Cullen, looking his usually sexy-but-it's-so-understated self
He's wearing a charcoal blazer and pants, and button down shirt with the top two buttons undone. As am I. My, my, gush!
He introduces himself: "Ditte? Hello" He offers his hand, "I'm Edward Cullen."
"Indeed you are" I smile, "I'm Ditte, I'll be your MILF for today, I mean, erhh, your MILF writer for today. Hi!"
He chuckles, sits down and orders a beer.
I watch Edward Cullen, action star extraordinaire, as he leans into the bar, and I'm profusely exited to share with all you readers out there that yes, he is as handsome in real life as on screen. He seems to be all smiles and looks at me expectantly.
"So, Edward," I start, "as you probably know, my magazine mostly caters to woman in ages of 25 - 40, which under most circumstances may not be the fan base you'd expect to go see movies like Face Punch and Face Punch 2. Still, we've been flooded with requests to get your interview in the magazine. Why do you think that is?" I ask wide eyed and smiling. I'm flirting unabashedly. This is my night out, away from kids and hubby and I am not letting this slightly slutty, grossly overpriced dress go to waste!
Edward pauses to think. "Well, I don't know... Because they are good movies? They were great fun to do!" He smiles a boyish and somewhat giddy smile. I'm a little intrigued, 'cause it looks far from the lady killer, we all read about in glitzy magazines. I decide to poke the bear a little.
"They are certainly good for the eyes, we can agree on that! I know, you do all your own stunts, that must really put some pressure on keeping that shapely form of yours?"
He laughs. "Well the form is not hard to keep, when doing the stunts. They are hard work. But, yeah... I run and bike when I'm not shooting films..."
Hm. Not biting. I'm termined to see a glimpse of that big flirt the rumour says he is.
"And now, we're seeing this whole new side to you in the show, and with the upcoming Buddy Holly movie. Tell me, does doing your own stunts translate well onto the dance floor or are you going on pure animalistic instincts out there?" Once again, sigh!
He laughs even louder. "Well, if you ask Kate, then, no it doesn't translate. It took a lot of hard work and a shit-load of patience from her side to make me an okay dancer..."
"Shit! I shouldn't have said Shit, should I?"
Awww, isn't that adorable? "Shit, I don't care!" Dude, we go by way worse in our house!
He grins.
"We'll edit, if you're afraid our readers can't handle it. But I'm fairly certain it will take a whole lot more for the readers to shun you," I wink and continue: "It's just, you look so... sexy, and vibrant on the dance floor, and you have from day one. You must know about the effect you have on the female side of the audience. Kate is fabulous, we can all agree, but it's you we tune in to see". I bat my eyes. And yes, I'm not above leaning forward on the bar stool and crossing my arms under my chest, showing off my cleavage. If you got 'em, flaunt 'em, I say!
I catch a bit of a straying eye. "Oh, well, I -, um... Thanks?"
"You're welcome" Heehee, I'm flirting with Edward Cullen. How inappropriate am I? Oh shush, you all know you would do the exact same thing, if you where in my shoes. Or on my bar stool.
"And from what I can see," I go on, "It's not just the female audience you affect. Both female judges continually give you good and productive critiques week after week. Didn't wee see some pictures from Friday night's after party of you dancing with Esme Platt? Are you jury tampering, Edward Cullen?" I wink.
"Of course not!" laughs nervously. "I really like her. We are all friends at the show. The dancers, the judges, the band, the producers. It's been a really good experience. I didn't expect that. Kate is now a great friend and I'll miss seeing her every day when it's all over. And all the dancing and learning new things every day has just been... " he sighs. "Well, I think I've changed over the last few months. The discipline needed in order to do this... The music and the creativeness that Kate shared with me. I'll miss it all!"
Awww. He looks adorable and a little forlorn. For a split second I feel a little maternal towards him. "I was only joking", I back track, "It's just easy to fall back on, the whole 'Edward Cullen, the skirt chaser', when your interviewing such a gorgeous young man" I explain.
"Well, Esme is a gorgeous woman!" he grins. "You can quote me on that!" He wiggles his eye brows.
"I will" I smile. "I wouldn't be at all surprised, if I found out Esme Platt was one of our subscribers. - But it has been quiet for a while around you, Edward. You must admit, you have a somewhat lengthy track record in the female-to-Edward-dating department?" And now, I know I'll get a call from Edward's manager, Garrett, later. I might get a bit of a scolding for venturing into this area. But we don't care, haha!
"Do I?" He says, all innocence.
"Oh, don't you be coy with a married woman! We glue ourselves to the screen for the most resent pictures of you and catch-of-the-day at every benefit and award show out there!"
"Oh, so you're married? That's too bad!" He sits up straighter like he just discovered something. He then leans in a little and puts on a smirk of the kind that would melt a popsicle.
Ooooh. I just realized. He's flirting back. Nicely caught, Miss Journalist.
"He' a lucky husband!" He says and grins mischievously.
"Oh, ehh, heehee, thank you, Edward" I giggle. I'm such a teenager. But who wouldn't be right now.
"But judges and dance partners aside, we have been seeing a little of you and a certain song bird from the Starlighters. Care to comment on that?" I retort just as mischievously. Maybe the rumour of him dating a little young thing called Bella Swan are true?
"Oh, well, like I said: We are all good friends at the show. So I danced with a couple of them at the after party." He scratches his neck nervously. He looks a little flustered.
"Yeah. I'm not talking about those pictures", I grin. He must not know of the latest revelations online. Oooh, let's get the dirt on this scoop. "I'm talking about you, Bella Swan, a parking lot, against the side of volkswagon. Ring any bells?" I'm sure it rang bells for someone, 'cause those pictures are hot!
He looks stunned but quickly collects himself. "Ah, shit, Ditte. I usually don't do this... It's against my principles..." he leans in conspiratorily. "I have to tell you..." he lowers voice to a whisper, "that there is absolutely... No comment!" He leans back and looks rather smug.
Freakin' smutblocker!
"Jeeez, Edward! You can't keep us hanging here without a little dirt! Come on, housewives thrive on this sort of thing. You wouldn't believe the things fans do in order to get more out of their favorite books and movies." Oh yeah, you all KNOW what I'm talking about, all you lemon chasing smut readers out there!
"I'm sorry, Ditte." He shrugs his shoulders and looks apologetic. "We need to move on to the next question."
I pout.
"Hrmf."
"Aw, come on! Tell me about yourself, Dite. Have you always been a MILF?"
Whatthefrick!
"I, um, what? No! I mean - why yes of course!" Alright, Edward, I'll bite. If you don't wanna share, I guess I'll appreciate the attention. "Well, before kids, I was just a plain ol' hottie. MILF is a title I wear with pride." I look at his cocked eyebrow and realize, I may have made a blunder. "Oh, wait, did you mean a writer for MILF?" Oops!
"If you like?" the smile is smug as hell.
"Now you're just teasing" I feel a slight reddening of my cheeks.
He winks and throws yet another one of those smirks,
Okay, enough about me! Time to get sexy actor back on track. "Not, that I'm not enjoying myself immensely right now, Edward" I smile at him, "but I guess I should at least get a little info out of you about your new film before you leave". I shuffle through my cue cards. Yes, I have dorky cue cards with me, because I foresaw this exact scenario where fuckhot actor dazzles panting, drooling housewife. Thank God for good planning!
"Yes! Buddy Holly!" He recollects him self and looks all business again.
"It's gonna be very exiting to see you in such a yet unseen character portrayal. Tell me, is it a stretch going from face punching action star to soft spoken, romantic Buddy Holly?"
"Hahaha! I don't know, how soft spoken he was... I tried to portray him a little more rock'n'roll than that. - But yes, I do believe he was a romantic."
Romance me, Edward.
"What?" He looks very confused.
"Oooh, did I say that out loud? I thought that was just in my head. Sorry, carry on!" Dang! Get a grip, you movie star molester! I try to save face.
"What I meant was, I bet your collective fan base is dying to see you in a romantic character. And as a singer, no less. I heard something about you singing the soundtrack yourself, is that true?"
"Yes, I did perform a lot of the songs myself. Buddy Holly's career was very short, so a lot of the later albums were made from recordings of a poor quality. So even with a lot of work, they couldn't be used for the soundtrack... So... Might as well be me for the live concert shoots..."
"Mmmm. Hot."
"Sorry?" he frowns.
"I mean... Oh, what the heck, I meant just that. That's hot!" No use explaining away, he looks like he can handle the whole panting, drooling MILF housewife!
"Oh, okay... Thanks?" He chuckles. There's an awkward pause, where I stare at his jaw, catch myself in doing so and quickly shuffle through dorky cue cards. He speaks, hesitantly.
"So, do you have any more questions? I need to be going in a few minutes..."
Sing to me, Edward. Woo me, like I'm Maria Elena Santiago*. This counts as our first date, right?
Frantically, I run through my cue cards, desperately trying to find something that will keep this session going on. "Erhm, then, uhm... Will we be seeing more of you and Bella Swan?" I ask, hoping he will take the bait this time.
"Tune in on Friday! We're both on the show..."
And with that, the interview is over. He leans in and gives my cheek a chaste little kiss and thanks me, I offer to pay for the drink but he refuses and then he leaves me. I'm left at the bar, waving like a moron and trying to collect my self. Edward Cullen, ladies. And here I thought I was unaffected be the whole fuckhot thing. Guess I'm not...
*Who was married to Buddy Holly the year before his tragic death. (Editor's note)
~oOo~
End note: Reviews for this will also be sent to Ditte. I'm sure, she'll love everything you have to offer...