A/N: Spoiler's abound. I assume that, if you're reading this, you enjoy the show and you've seen almost every episode, including those in season 2. In addition, there are references to J.A. Carlton's stories Legacy and Hollow as well as her OC Laura. Check out those stories, and her other wonderful stories. (I'd post the link, but I haven't figured out how to do that yet, sorry.)
Special thanks to J.A. Carlton. Thanks for letting me borrow and play in your 'verse. Thank you also for beta-ing, encouraging, and giving me suggestions to improve the story. Seriously, "big, blue ocean" became much more interesting thanks to you.
Thanks also to Mom, my editor extraordinaire. And my sister. Thank you both for the encouragement. (Wow, I suddenly feel like I'm at an awards show.)
All left over goofs are my own. Enjoy.
Body, Mind and Soul By: Nevermore
Kaitlyn Ross had just checked herself into the local motel and was filling up her car with gas when she, not for the first time this week, or day even, felt herself being watched. It was not the pleasant kind of being watched as when she was being checked out by the cute gas station attendant. The thing that bothered her was that she couldn't sense who was doing the watching or the intent behind it, and it left her feeling nervous and vulnerable. She tried to chalk it up to nerves. Her upcoming rendezvous had a lot riding on things going well. She had even dared to hope, at one point, that the men she was preparing to meet had decided that they wanted to find out more about her before meeting her and were tailing her. She quickly decided that wasn't the case as she knew she would be able to sense them more clearly by their emotions. The only thing she felt when she stretched out her mind was a cold kind of emptiness. And anticipation. Knowing she wouldn't see anything, she took another look around the gas station before getting back in her car and heading to Harvell's Roadhouse.
The Roadhouse had a slightly rundown feel to it, but it was welcoming. Being out, seemingly in the middle of nowhere, she imagined the patrons would be biker types or truck drivers, a little rough around the edges, but a close knit and fairly loyal community. When she walked through the door, there wasn't anything that particularly surprised her. It was evening and the place was full, loud, and a bit smoky. As a few patrons glanced in her direction, she felt the initial judgment from most of the patrons that she was an outsider not worth much attention unless they could get lucky. She smiled slightly to herself; it was sadly flattering to be considered attractive, even by drunk men who wouldn't remember seeing her the next day.
She stopped by the bar to order her drink and then looked around to see if the men, the Winchester brothers, were there yet. While she looked around, she prodded a bit with her mind, feeling out the presences of those in the bar. It didn't take her long to find what she was looking for. She had never been this close to another one of "the chosen," as she had come to think of them, and Sam was a veritable psychic beacon. "The chosen" were those somehow bound by fire and a demon. She still didn't understand it all, but she was hoping that by meeting Sam and Dean, she'd be able to give them some answers, they'd be able to give her some and, maybe, they'd be able to come up with some new ones. She was just about to head in the direction she felt Sam to be in, when she felt it again. That other presence was there, watching. Frustrated and not a little afraid, she scanned the bar again, still knowing she wouldn't be able to find anything, though admittedly, not sure what she should be looking for. She couldn't even pinpoint a direction from which the presence was coming. She did, however, hear the faintest of laughs that she was pretty sure was only in her head.
She nearly jumped out of her skin and spun around when the bar tender tapped her shoulder.
"Woe, honey," the bartender held up her hands to show she intended no harm. "You okay? You look a little spooked."
"Yeah." Kaitlyn sighed and offered an apologetic smile. "Yeah. Sorry, just a little jumpy lately."
"You sure you don't want something stronger than a pop?"
Kaitlyn nodded and chuckled, "Yeah, no drinking and driving; I don't have a chaperone tonight, but thanks."
"Okay, hon. I'm Ellen. You need anything, you let me know."
"Thanks." Kaitlyn grabbed her Sprite and headed in the direction of the beacon. She decided to try to block the other presence or at least ignore it. She wasn't sure if that would even be possible, but she was nervous enough as it was; she didn't need to be jumpy, too. As she approached the booth in a more secluded part of the bar, she recognized Dean. Dean she had seen several times in the brief forays she'd unwillingly taken into Sam's mind. Sam, on the other hand, she had really only seen once as he looked at his own reflection in a mirror, and that was immediately following a blindingly painful vision. Kaitlyn was an empath; by nature, she wasn't really sure. But when it came to the other chosen, emotionally charged situations caused her to see and experience whatever the other was going through, exactly as he or she felt it, saw it, experienced it - as if it was happening to her.
She'd been in Sam's head more than any of the others, but considering what she had seen during those snippets, she could understand why. His life was far from usual. But what she had seen had also made her decide that he would be the first one she would try to contact. She thought he would be the most receptive to her.
Before she even reached the table, both brothers had looked up and watched her progress to the table. She was not a telepath and therefore had no idea what other people were thinking. This was sometimes very frustrating as she felt emotions, but often couldn't begin to fathom the reasons for them. Currently, she was being bombarded by emotions running the gamut from curiosity to apprehension. Dean was outright distrustful, while Sam was giving off the faintest hope. She didn't know everything they had been through or seen to bring them to this place and what they were feeling toward her without having met her yet. Her nervousness increased a bit. She took another glance around as she felt a shift in the room's emotional state. She had suddenly gone from outsider to being under suspicion. Again, she was left only being able to guess at the change.
"Hi, I'm Kaitlyn." She greeted with a friendly smile.
Dean nodded. Sam half stood, "I'm Sam and this is Dean. Please, sit."
As she sat, a little blonde girl came over to the table. "You guys need anything?"
"No. Thanks, Jo," Dean said.
Jo obviously had a thing for Dean who seemed a little irritated by the distraction. Kaitlyn also noticed that Sam was amused by the situation. She couldn't help but smirk at the exchange. It was sometimes hard for her not to react in kind to the emotions around her.
"Alright, well let me know if you do." Jo was radiating curiosity and a little suspicion or maybe it was jealousy.
"So…" Sam said.
"Well, obviously, you got my e-mail. And thanks. Thank you for agreeing to meet with me."
"Speaking of that e-mail," Dean interjected, his voice laced with suspicion. "How did you know Sam would see it? I mean, Alex never even knew you, as far as we can tell."
Was everyone suspicious around here? Kaitlyn wondered. "That's…kind of hard to explain. I'm not even sure I understand."
"Try."
"Dean." Sam chastised.
"Hey. I'm just being cautious after our run-ins with some of your other playmates. I mean, we don't know anything about her other than what she told us in some letter. I just think it's strange how she knew we'd even look at Alex's laptop."
"It's okay," Kaitlyn said, looking from Sam to Dean. She couldn't understand where the hostility was coming from, but she really wanted to set them both at ease. She figured Sam would be easier to reach; he was already more open to her, but Dean would have to agree to her plan if it was going to work. And she really did only want to help. "Alex put out ads looking for other people with her…abilities. I've spent a good part of this last year doing web research into psychic abilities, demons, children who've lost parents in house-fires. Her empathic ability caught my attention, so I started looking into her background. I managed to find a picture of her. So, when she…died…I was…connected, to Sam. I saw her face, her necklace. I heard enough of the 911 call to have a general location. I realized who she was and I took a chance. I figured you would investigate her the way you do others."
"So, you said in the email that you're connected to about 8 other people – all who had a fire at 6 months of age that killed the mothers." Sam said all of this slightly hushed, not wanting to be overheard. Dean shifted in his seat, glancing from Sam to Kaitlyn and leaning in a little closer to the table. "What about the others?"
Shaking her head and frowning a little, Kaitlyn asked, "What others?" Watching the boys exchange a glance, she knew she was missing some information and it made them uneasy.
"How much do you know about Andy Gallagher?" Sam asked.
"Um, well…I know you met. I know you experienced a series of visions and it led you to Andy. I know it had something to do with another guy, too, but I couldn't really make sense of some of the images I was seeing. I don't usually experience anything more than empathy and when you meet up with another of the… people like us, it tends to wreak havoc with me. I can't always tell who's seeing what and what's going on."
"Andy had a twin brother. He also had the mind control ability. But he never had a house fire…and…he'd been visited by the Demon." Sam watched as Kaitlyn processed what he was saying.
"Huh." Kaitlyn uttered.
"What?" Dean asked.
"Twins?"
"Yeah." Sam confirmed.
"And only Andy's mother died in a fire? How is that even possible?"
Sam explained. "Their mother gave them up for adoption. It was Andy's adopted mother who died."
"Huh…So…The brother was the man that I saw? The man Andy shot?"
After another exchange of glances, Sam nodded in reply. "Yeah."
"Man, poor Andy." Kaitlyn felt genuinely sorry for the guy. Once again, most of what she had experienced had been from Sam's point of view. While she had felt Andy's anguish, she hadn't been able to put all the pieces together of what happened.
"Poor Andy? He killed a man!" Sam stated in an intense but hushed voice.
Kaitlyn could feel the fear from Sam, but could only guess at what he was thinking. "Yeah, poor Andy. He just found out he had a brother and then has to kill him to stop him from murdering more people."
Sam's expression pinched and he shook his head a little. He was obviously having some sort of internal struggle, but what caught Kaitlyn's attention was that Dean's feelings had shifted slightly in her favor. He had a slight smirk on his face as he lifted his beer to drink.
"Well…It must have something to do with the fire." Both men looked at Kaitlyn slightly confused by the change of gears. She continued on. "The ones I'm connected to. They've all been through the fire. I don't know. The fire…whatever the Demon did that night, must have something to do with the connection."
"Maybe." Sam contemplated.
"And how do you know about the Demon, anyway?" asked Dean.
"Well…I saw it…When you went to help Rosie. When you're around others like us, it kind of boosts what I see, so I witnessed a good portion of that night…" she glanced from one man to the other.
"Uh-huh." Dean looked over at Sam, then back to Kaitlyn. "As fun as all this reminiscing is, what makes you think you can help us? Why are you here?"
"Dean!" Dean didn't reply to Sam, he just continued to watch Kaitlyn, waiting for her to answer.
Undeterred, Kaitlyn pressed on. "Well…It's really just a theory. As I said before, Sam, you've been the only one to display more than one ability. On certain levels, you…your abilities are always active. On other levels, you're…blocked. I don't know if it's conscious or not, but…I think I can help you. Help you learn to use your abilities and get them under control."
"How?" both brothers asked together. Dean shifted again and his anxiety level rose noticeably to Kaitlyn. While Sam seemed anxious, he was curious, too.
"I know how it feels when the chosen use their abilities, which, thanks by the way, for those migraines from hell." Kaitlyn smirked. "Each one has been in an emotionally charged state when using them, so I've…experienced them… all, first hand so to speak. I think I can, I don't know, download how it feels to you, like in The Crow."
"Yeah, and that was a pleasant experience for everyone involved," sniped Dean.
"I don't really think it will be painful like that, not if Sam is ready and open to the information." She shrugged. Shifting her attention back to Sam, "You'll, hopefully, be able to go from there."
"You want open access to Sam's mind? Are you kidding me?"
"It wouldn't be open access. I can't read thoughts. And I'm not wanting to read him at all."
"But you do want to plant stuff in his head. Yeah, I've seen that movie, too. One person implants a psychic suggestion that turns the other person into an assassin or something. Nuh-uh. No way." Sam remained silent during Dean's rant. It was true, they really had no way of knowing if Kaitlyn was telling the truth about her intentions or if she was who she said she was. "And why would he even want to learn to use them? He's already a virtual paranormal magnet."
Kaitlyn sighed. It was her experience that people who weren't psychic had a general mistrust for the abilities. She'd even had some well meaning friends try to perform an exorcism of sorts on her. She had not expected the resistance she was currently getting, though. And she was at a loss as to how to communicate that she meant them no harm.
"Sam has abilities which can, quite frankly, be useful, and I can't help but think there is a purpose behind them – a reason we have them." Far from being encouraging, this statement actually darkened the brothers' moods. "What?"
Sam and Dean seem to share a private conversation and, whatever the exchange, Dean shrugged his consent for Sam to explain.
"The Demon. It said it had plans for us – for all children like us. And, from what we've seen, the more a person embraces his abilities, well…"
"The more evil they are." Dean finished for him.
Kaitlyn sat for a moment digesting what Sam and Dean said and it began to click. She uttered a drawn out "Oh" while nodding, realizing why her words had not had the desired effect and probably part of the reason they were so suspicious of her.
"You know, there are two sides to every battle. The Demon is powerful, yes. And probably a genius at orchestrating events. But I refuse to believe that demons are either all powerful or the only side with plans. I like to think that the side of good has a far better tactician in charge. Besides, I also believe in free will and that my soul cannot belong to anyone I haven't given it to, no matter what rituals are performed. And no demon is going to …to turn me… or make me evil without my consent."
The steely resolve and conviction with which she spoke these words served to rally both men. Both had been unknowingly looking for something to cling to that would offer hope. They did not know if she was right, but both wanted to believe that Sam would be safe.
Kaitlyn felt the subtle shift in the brothers' emotions and hoped that trust was finally being built. She knew she wouldn't be able to help if there wasn't some level of trust from both of them. Sam would never be able to get past his psychic barriers if he wouldn't let her in and drop his guard when the time came. Without warning, she also heard a silent cackle and a whispered, "Are you so sure you won't fall?" causing her to start and look around so fast she nearly gave herself whiplash. Whatever the presence was, it was becoming more bold, and far too intimate for her comfort. Her sudden movement surprised the men and Sam asked, "What is it?"
"I…" she looked at Sam hoping for some sign from him that he had felt something too. She was a little disappointed and even further disturbed that he hadn't seemed to sense anything. "uh…no, nothing." She redirected the conversation, "Look, all I'm saying is that you have a choice."
"But what if it's not as blatant as a one time decision? What if the person is pushed or backed into it?" Sam asked.
"I know the change from good to evil is seldom an overnight, wake up one morning and say, 'Hey, I think I'll go out and kill a bunch of people, and while I'm at it, become the pawn of a demon today' kind of thing. I just don't think the Demon can corrupt us that easily. I know Max …didn't turn out so well, but you don't know the others. Andy's not a bad guy. He had to make a decision. Take a stand and stop evil or step aside and let it take over. I think he chose well. And I don't think he's any more evil or less good now, than he was before. Yeah, the Demon may want you to be able to use your abilities for his own purposes, but that doesn't mean you don't learn to use your abilities. That's like saying you won't learn to talk because words can hurt people. They can also help. Take the abilities you've been given, make them yours and fight back."
"So, if this isn't some sort of scheme to give the Demon what he wants, why are you doing this? What do you get out of helping us?" asked Dean, but this time with less hostility than he had earlier.
"As I said, I like to think we've been given these abilities for a reason. I feel I have a responsibility to use mine as best I can and help however I can." She paused a little, looking down at her hands, wrapped around her glass. "I already feel like I'm a part of this because of what I've seen, willing or not. I need to be doing something instead of just watching."
"Wait. What are you saying? You're not coming with us."
"Oh no, I wouldn't expect to travel with you or anything, but I want to help Sam if I can. Maybe I can start approaching the others. Do more research, you know, whatever. But I need to be part of this." She could tell the men sympathized with the feeling, but they also needed time to digest all that was said. She, too, needed to think about what had occurred tonight. All of it. The feeling that she was being watched was becoming oppressive and she'd have to leave soon to avoid fleeing the bar and looking like a lunatic. She wasn't sure why she wasn't telling the hunters about it. Perhaps part of her hoped that Sam would be able to sense something and confirm to her that she wasn't finally cracking, despite her brave words tonight. She hadn't told them yet, but she knew at least one of the others was in a mental institution. It was one of the things she hoped to rectify when meeting the other chosen, being able to offer assurance of their sanity.
-------
They agreed to meet again the next day. As she was walking out Dean turned to Sam and said, "She's hiding something."
"Yeah, but I think she was sincere in what she said. Whatever she's hiding…it's something else."
"Yeah maybe. I'm keeping my eye on her, though, Sammy."
"I bet you are."
"I'm serious, Sam."
Sam chuckled, "You trusted Andy, who mind-controlled you to get your car, but you don't trust her?"
"It's not my mind she's trying to play with."
"Well, as long as you're around, nothings gonna happen, right?"
"Damn straight."