A/N: Yeah, erm, I'm not sure why I've wrote this. It's basically just a boring babble about nothing; Contains miniature spoilers.
Set around March/April. (2011)
WARNING: Mentions of, Noah. Only mentioning him, he's not actually in it. But I thought it best I warn you sensitive loveys first. ;)
Song: I Knew You Before by Dustin Kensrue.
Enjoy x
Oh, and all I can say I knew you before
You were beautiful back then
Before you grew up, before you gave in
And all I can say is I knew you before
You were beautiful back then
You could be beautiful again.
Brendan's showed his face tonight, I should really tell him to go but its fine. Really, it is. I'm with Noah now, he's great.
He gives me all the things I want in a relationship. He gives me all the things Brendan won't. Okay, I'll change that to can't. There's times when I'm sure he tried, but then he'd go back to his old routine.
It was fun. He made me grow up, he made me stronger. He changed me.
But, here we are now, sat anxiously. Him blowing into his coffee every two minutes but not actually drinking any of it, probably best; it'll be flat cold by now and me playing with the fabric on my t-shirt.
We've not spoke properly since February. So much went wrong for all involved, but I never blamed Brendan for it. There were times I'd snap at him and he'd just take it, then there were times when I thought I'd pushed him too far; expecting smacks that never came.
I guess we've both grown up in our own way.
The silence is deafening, we've spoke one word each 'Hey' and even they were mere mumbles. I stand up and turn the stereo on to activate myself:
You dream of sharing your heart
Instead you share your bed
And your heart beats empty and cold
With all the tears that you have shed.
'So…' Brendan finally croaks.
'Noah, how is he?' He asks coldly.
What does he care? He's done the odd stuff regarding, Noah, these last few weeks but I've just looked past them. I'm not going to say they've been the nicest of things; like Brendan making Noah lose his job, but I can't draw myself into things with him again.
You may ask what I'm doing letting him come into my house now, this could be seen as 'been drawn back' to him. But this isn't like that, I wouldn't let it get there and I will tell him how it is from now on. No more games. No more lies. No more secrets. It's about me, Noah and the kids now.
'Great thanks.' Of course, it's not meant to make him jealous. He really is great. I like him a lot, me.
'How's Mitzeee?' He laughs a little and shakes his head.
'We are like two peas in a pod me 'n her.' He claims. Yeah right.
It's all for bloody show, he must think I've forgotten that bit of information.
'Right, what do you want, Brendan?'
He places his mug of cold coffee onto the table and claps his hands together.
'Come and work back at ChezChez.'
It's not a question; it's more of an order. Cheeky bastard.
'What? No, I'm working for Tony now.'
'Multi-tasking, Stephen, ever heard of it?'
His mouth twitches up slightly as he waits for an answer.
'Thanks, Brendan, but no, if that's all you can go now.'
I don't look at him as I get up off of the chair and lean over to get the wasted drinks. He grips at my wrist; the familiar feel of his touch brings back memories in a flash. I will not let this happen again. I can't.
'Brendan' I try and warn him, my voice is too weak though.
He lets go of me but his eyes are fixated on my face, it's like he's glued me to the spot and I can't move an inch. He sniffs at me; how I've missed that… no, stop it Ste, I tell myself. All this is over and for good.
'You're a not the Stephen I once knew.'
He whispers, hmm's every word that leaves his mouth. But I'm confused; I'm not any different to when we first met… not much anyway.
'I haven't changed at all.'
He bites his tongue and tilts his head slowly to one said as he says;
'Noah's not worth your time.'
How as he got the cheek? I wasted half of my time waiting around for him; I think it's fair to say Brendan isn't worth my time.
'Go now.'
The mugs in my hands click together; my hands are shaking. He looks down between us and he takes them from me and puts them back down.
He holds on to my fingers as his thumb soothes over them. Don't let him do this, Ste.
'You nervous about something, Stephen?'
I shake my head and pull my hands away from his touch.
'You're wasting your time, Brendan. I am not interested in anything you have to offer me. So, please, just go.'
He pushes his bottom lip him pretending to be deeply hurt.
'At least walk me to the door.'
I tit at him as I walk towards the door; he stalks behind me. We get to the door and he steps up right behind me and places his right arm to the door, I turn my head best I can to the side, his body feels rough against mine; its heat instantly coursing a stir inside me.
'You know,' he whispers in my ear 'it's been hell not having you around.'
'I'm not going back to ChezChez.' I breathe. This is not turning me on. No, no.
He raises an eyebrow.
'I'm not talking about work, Stephen.'
He could have had me all to himself from the get go, but as it was, he couldn't give me what I wanted.
'You had your chances.'
He brings his face closer to me, his nose and moustache tickles my neck as he kisses me gently. Why is he doing this? I will not fall for his tricks anymore.
His touch lingers on my skin as I close my eyes; this is so very tough; fighting him off of me. But I can do this; Noah is what… who I want.
I turn around and push him off of me, he staggers back as he look at me confused, hurt.
'I can't do it anymore, Brendan!'
I open the door and push my hands in my trackie bottoms; my hands beginning to sweat. He walks to leave and turns to look at me, his finger coming up to my chin to look at him. His features are soft and he looks close to tears, but he's not into all that soppy shit, so what do I know?
'I will get you back.' He says simply.