Don't Speak

by phwee yami hobo

Yaoi (One-Shot) SchuldigXYouji, song fic written to Don't speak by No Doubt, a sad story, but sweet in it's own twisted little way, have fun!

Disclaimer: I don't own, rich people do

Warnings: adult themes, death, HEAVLY implied lemon

Pair: Youji/Schuldig

Notes: Written to Don't speak by No doubt, and really sad, at least I think so, anyways so please review I wanna know what you thought

Why, oh why did you have to go and misbehave? My sweet sweet little kitten, I pampered you so, I gave you all the affection I could. Didn't you think it was real? All those nights together, sweet sweet kitten was it me?

You and me

We used to be together

Everyday together Always

Again we meet under the moon, she holds all the greatest secrets she does, all the evil acts of the world happen under the pale light of the moon. Our sin happened under the soft light of the moon. Our sweetest sin, it was my favourite sin.

You are magnificent even now, I know what's happening, and it makes my blood boil and my thoughts race. Only you could make me feel this way, and you don't even know it. After all you aren't me, you don't know me inside and out, you're not me. I wish you were me, I wish you could know what goes though my head right now. All these thoughts of what I could do to your pretty and willing body, all these thoughts, if you were me we could have sweet mind sex. Doesn't that sound good? And still you slip away.

I really feel

I'm losing my best friend

I can't believe this could be the end

It's been like forever now, me and you, our sin under the moon, how many nights? Countless hours lost in a haze of passion and companionship, it was good for me, and I know it was good for you. Why then do you feel like this now? Why now? So close, I got so close to you.

During the day you exist to me only as the kitten, Balinese they call you, my sin, my sweet. During those hours when you are nothing to me do you think of me? Of course you do, images of us flash through your head, threatening to pull you under, is that it? Was it too much for you? Was it so much at once? I can fix it, I can… fix it.

It looks as though you are letting go

And if it's real, well I don't want to know

Your watching me again, those sad green eyes boring into my dark soul, trying to chase away the shadows, if you chase away the shadows there will be nothing left. Nothing, my heart is made of that darkness, yes you like it don't you, that one reason you come back again and again, you are attracted to the dark, you want the sin. It flows through your blood like it does mine, your sin my sin it's all the same.

You want to stop, I know you do, before you open your mouth I know what will come out, I can feel your emotions tied to your thoughts pressing against my mind, mingling. It's like chocolate melting, it feels warm, if you could feel me the way I feel you would you still want to go?

Don't speak

I know just what you're saying

So please stop explaining

Don't tell me 'cause it hurts

Don't speak

I know what you're thinking

I don't need your reasons

You want to let me go, you want to drop this sin, you want to stop your world from being swallowed by the night. Don't you see? It's to late for that, yes the pain is there, it's always there, I can make it go away, it only comes back stronger in the morning. But that is the side effect of sin. There is always a side effect, like a bad drug, you feel the pain when the morning comes, but as long as the sun shines everything can be covered up. When the night comes back here I am waiting for you.

You're trying to talk again, again I'll kiss you, don't even try, it's bad enough that I know what you want to say. You don't need to say it; it already hurts me, don't even try and say it out loud. Why does it hurt? Is it time for me to wake up from my sleep? Is the side effect hitting me now? This is all your fault you know, my drug.

Our memories

They can be inviting

But some are altogether rather frightening

Again, how many nights has it been, how many times do we risk death to meet here? How many times have we repeated this game, how many times have we touched. Isn't this what you would call a relationship? Is this what you call love? No, love is about the better part of this, this is sin and only sin, the way our bodies move together, our cries echoing up into the sky.

As we die both you and I

With my head in my hands I sit and cry

You try and stop me when I start to undress you, but that's part of the game, as long as I never move my mouth you can't talk. As long as you never said it I can say it was a passing thought, it's only a passing thought. As long as I keep you here you never have to say it. You never need to use that syrup like voice with me here. Never again will you have to talk, all I need to do is cut open that slender neck, rip open your throat, you will scream but you will never get to say your leaving. Then you could stay here with me. Here in heaven with me, I am the devil in the skies.

Don't speak

I know just what you're saying

So please stop explaining

Don't tell me 'cause it hurts

Don't speak

I know what you're thinking

I don't need your reasons

Don't tell me 'cause it hurts

Moans sink into the walls, your mind is blank, pushed far over the limit of thought. When it's all done you'll think again and then you'll say it. Your leaving me, you're leaving me here all alone. Alone with the voices, all the voice of all the people in the world. If you knew what they said would you leave? If you could hear them calling to you, if you could feel their dirty thoughts pushing into your mind, raping you with every word, would you still leave me alone? Would still condemn me for being a dark beast? Do you understand? I wish you were me, I wish you could feel the pain of your thoughts, I wish you could feel the pain of my thoughts. I know you can feel the pleasure out acts sends coursing through you. That's only half of the whole picture, I can feel both, and I'm not ready to give it up.

It's all ending, I gotta stop pretending who we are

You and me

I can see use dying …are we?

You scream, the energy surges from you, with a strangled cry I answer you, my hair is pasted to me with sweat all the way down my back, we collapse on the bed, it bounces a bit and silence reigns over the room- silence. And your thoughts are coming back, you anticipate the morning's pain, and you think of me as dark, you think of my deeds, you think of my black heart. Couldn't you have thought of this before it got so far? Couldn't you have stopped me from falling? Sweet kitten couldn't you have saved my soul, or is it your curse, the curse put on your soul. Am I fated to die before you?

Is that why she left? Did you want to leave her to? Did you ever even love her? Was it all about the idea you shared? What does that make me? Simple, I'm a dark beast. Hang me from the ceiling with your wire, let me see your face while the filament bites into my naked skin, let me see your face like she did, just don't talk I can already feel your thoughts.

Don't speak

I know just what you're saying

So please stop explaining

Don't tell me 'cause it hurts

Don't speak

I know what you're thinking

I don't need your reasons

Don't tell me 'cause it hurts

Your eyes stare at the moon, it's out there watching us, it knows the sin we commit, it knows everything. I like it, it never says anything to me, its silence is one I love more then my own life. And still you stare, it knows what your leader doesn't, it knows what Oracle doesn't; he would beat me, he would yell at me. That's why he doesn't know what the moon does.

You open your mouth to talk again but I beat you to it, one of my fingers covers your lips, I know what you're going to say, I know what you want. And most of all I know I don't want to give it to you. I don't want too, I know that if you leave there will be no point anymore. Do you have a fraction of an idea of what you have done to me at this point? Do you know of these thoughts that swirl in my head, sweet kitten I wish you were me.

Your eyes are pleading, to you it's important that you say this, but I don't want to hear it, I don't want to hear it from you. I want my dark heart to stay intact; I want our sin to go on forever spiralling into infinity following our heated cries. I don't want the morning to come; I don't want the side effect of this…love. I don't want you to go. But this is what you must do isn't it? I'm a dark beast, I have no morning, I have no tomorrow. Now that I have awoken from the night and feel the pain am I no longer a dark beast. But you don't know that, you're not me.

The tightening of the wire around my neck, I feel it to late, your thoughts didn't give you away, I was blinded by my pain, by your pain. And now it tightens piercing the flesh around my neck, the air is being cut off and still it tightens.

"I'm sorry," you say out loud, that's going to be the last thing I hear, your voice, like syrup thick and sweet, please don't say it. The pain makes me light headed, my mind not working properly with lack of oxygen, and I'm crying the tears rushing from my eyes, my soul coming out to mourn the loss of my love, soon all the pain will be gone, never again will the voices scream at me. The silent moon watches you repent for your sins.

Don't say …it.

"Good bye"