Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural or any of its characters.
Thanks for your beta work, Shannon!
Summary: This is a one shot for Malleus Maleficarium. This is what I thought Sam and Dean might be thinking after the events that took place in this episode.
Sam's perspective
Sam wiped his face with a hand towel. He stared at his reflection. Becoming like Dean was harder than I thought it would be. Killing without hesitation. Would I ever be comfortable with that? I'll just have to expand my comfort level. Time was running out for Dean's deal and I still have not found a way to save him. If there is a way? Maybe I have been kidding myself. When Dean first made the deal, I was so confident that I would be able to save him. Now half his year is over. To top it off, now we have to worry about another demon vying to be the demons' new leader. A demon who is gunning for me. Should I tell Dean about this new threat? Dean has enough to worry about. I'll just keep it to myself.
Dean's perspective
I'm still trying to wrap my mind around what Ruby told me. I can't be saved him from damnation. Demons had been human at one time. When I go to hell, I will eventually become one of them. One of the things that killed my mom. One of the things that I despise. I would become one of the hunted. I'm not telling Sam. I'm not going to be the one that takes away his last glimmer of hope of saving me. Ruby wants my help with Sam. Should I help her? How do I know that she isn't lying? Demons lie all the time. We still don't know her agenda and I definitely don't like what Sam is becoming. His thoughts were overwhelming. He felt like his brain would explode. I had dreaded going to hell before but I am really dreading it now. I will just have to suck it up. I will spend as much time as I can with Sam and try to get him prepared for life without me. There's nothing else I can do. Dean walked from the parking lot to their room trying to act as if nothing was wrong.