What Can You Do?

Luna Silvereyes

A/N: This was inspired by something I put into my own fic, the tenth book about Naraku's past as explained to Saaya. For those of you who are familiar with my series, you know who Saaya is and why she's talking with Naraku. For those of you who aren't, read the series; I'm not telling you what happened. I decided to use the idea again in my own little Oneshot. I do not own the characters however. Just the ones you don't recognize. And yes, Onigumo still lives in this story. This is BEFORE the fire he was caught in.

I just don't believe how much I've changed. It seems as though it were only yesterday I was what I had been for as long as I could remember.

" Oy! Onigumo! Keep your eyes on the road!"

The tall, dark-haired man hummed in recognition of his leader's voice and looked up. He frowned. " Sure, whatever." He grumbled.

I often wonder if it was all worth it.

" Hey chief! We're coming up on a little village ahead!"

Onigumo barely turned as his comrade Jisan called out.

" Haha! Good, good! It's pretty good size, too! We'll get a good haul! You up for another raid, Onigumo?"

Onigumo grinned wickedly. " How stupid are you, exactly?" he sneered. " I am always ready for a good raid."

" Great. We'll wait until nightfall before we attack. They won't be expecting us." The leader said, reining in his horse. Onigumo did the same. He had taught himself a little trick he'd learned from reading long before, how to get off the horse before it stopped running and pull it to a stop that way. He did this by carefully reining in his mount and then leaping off its back to run alongside it, guiding it to a stop a few feet away. His comrades had tried this many times, but all had either gotten trampled or missed points and ended up spooking their horses instead. And Onigumo refused to teach them.

" Damn, I can't figure out how he does that without killing himself!" Jisan yelled in frustration after yet another failed attempt at this trick. Onigumo sighed and crossed his arms, staring at the man with contempt. " You just aren't spry enough, Jisan." He said with mock sympathy. Jisan growled and turned away to the snickers of the other men. Onigumo was known for his snippy behavior and constant berating of others for mistakes. In the long run, it helped them learn from them, but the dark bandit no longer cared.

" No fire." The leader barked at the men who were gathering twigs. " I thought you worms were better than that. A fire will just alert the village. Besides, it's almost dusk now. Won't be too much longer."

He turned to Onigumo. " You keep an eye on the village and look for any weak points. Oh, and watch out for any 'keepers'." He said with an evil chuckle. Onigumo made his way toward the brush and climbed into a low tree, his dark clothing blending into the shadows as he leaned against the trunk, spying on the village. It was now he realized with a pang that this village was familiar.

" Have I been here before?"

That was when it hit him.

//ooo//

The little dark-haired boy sat outside the village, his knees folded up beneath his arms cradling his head to hide his tears. He'd lost his mother to demons and now, he'd finally lost his father to sickness. His only remaining family member was his sister, Mariko. But she was in shock after being raped and wouldn't speak, not even to him, her best friend.

Her twin.

The little boy felt rage at his sister's humiliation. He felt pain; he felt remorse and guilt. Guilt that maybe he could have stopped it from happening somehow. If maybe he could have stopped her from going to look for herbs for father. But the worst of it was, an hour after she'd left, the perpetrator, a man from the next village, actually came to the house, threw open the door and tossed her broken body roughly inside before sneering at the boy and striding away. Mariko had never been the same after that.

While stewing in his thoughts, he heard the sound of footsteps behind him and turned. It was an elderly man from the village. He knelt down beside him and placed his hand on his shoulder. " Onigumo," he began softly. " I am truly sorry for your sister. But there is nothing to be done. Your father is gone, the village the man was from is hostile and Mariko is only a little girl. No one would believe her word. You must learn to move on."

" How?" he cried bitterly. " How can I move on? Mariko's life is ruined and…and it's…my fault!"

" No." the old man said. " No, Onigumo, it is not your fault. What happened to your sister was purely by chance. There was nothing you could have done to stop it."

" I could have stopped her from going!"

The old man sighed and got to his feet again. " Come with me, Onigumo. I have something I think you'll like."

Onigumo followed the old man grudgingly back to his home. He was led inside a tiny old hut on the edge of the village. Everything within was covered with dust and the old man slowly made his way to the back of the room, coughing and wheezing as he did. He picked something up off the table. " I believe you'll like this, Onigumo." He said, handing the object to the boy. Onigumo took it. It was a book.

" What do I do with it?"

" You read it. You learn from it. That, is The Book of The Dead. Despite its name, it is actually a soulful book that delves deeper into the human being for greater understanding. That, my young friend is what you need."

//ooo//

Onigumo blinked as he snapped out of his reverie. He was almost afraid he had fallen asleep. That memory was one he hadn't touched for almost ten years. The village below was his village. The place where he grew up and where his sister still lived. He'd only been fifteen when he'd left. He shook his head, narrowing his eyes as another flashback connected to the first returned to his mind.

//ooo//

Onigumo, now a handsome young man walked slowly through the little village toward the home of the old man, still alive and still spry. Ever since that fateful day, reading and learning had become a life-giving passion for Onigumo. He would write, and visit his sister a few huts down. She was recovered from the trauma and had recently married. She was to have her first child, his niece or nephew. This made him extremely proud and he offered to be the official teacher to the child when it was old enough.

As he prepared to open the door, he heard someone calling his name. He turned and smiled.

It was his childhood friend Aiki. He waved with his free hand, the other carrying a few scrolls for his master, the old man Kujin.

" Good morning, Aiki." He said.

" Good morning, Onigumo. I wanted to greet you before you became the daily recluse once more."

He gave her a sheepish look. " It isn't like I mean to." He said with a chuckle. " I just don't like to be out much."

Aiki rolled her eyes. " I have something to tell you. But you mustn't tell anyone." She said, giggling like a child.

" I promise."

" I'm going to run with my sweetheart, Takayuki. We leave tonight at midnight."

" Congratulations." He said truthfully. " He'd better be good to you. You're too good to lose. If he isn't, I'll come after him and beat some sense into that thick head of his." He joked. She slapped his arm playfully and turned away. " Goodbye!" she called. He shook his head and went inside.

" Master Yoshi?" he called.

" Ah, Onigumo. Here for another few scrolls, eh?" the old man chuckled, standing up from his chair. " You know, there are days I regret bringing you into my care. You have no other life; this isn't healthy."

" This is all the life I need, Master Yoshi." Onigumo replied, tossing the scrolls onto the table. " They were too short. I need longer ones."

Yoshi blinked in surprise as his eyes nearly boggled out of his head. " Ach! Onigumo, you read these in one day?"

" Eh, ah-hah. It's more, like, one hour, sir." Onigumo said quietly, flinching.

" EEEGH!!!!" the old man exclaimed and Onigumo couldn't help but snicker at this. He folded his arms behind him, grinning stupidly. " Onigumo, those are the biggest ones I own! You've officially cleaned out my entire stock!!"

" I have?"

The old man sighed and put his arm around Onigumo's shoulders. " My boy, I've had you in my care since you were little. I love you like a son, seeing as I never had any of my own. This is why I want what I believe is best for you."

" And what's that?"

" I want you to find a girl, settle down. Get away from books for awhile. You could do so much more with your life."

Onigumo raised an eyebrow. " But, Master, this IS my life. These scrolls and your shop are all I've ever known. What else could there be?"

" Haven't you ever wanted to do anything else?"

Onigumo frowned in thought. " Well, I've always wanted to travel." He said. Yoshi clapped him on the shoulder. " Haha, now that's more like it! I'll let you get packed while I get some provisions and money for you."

The old man danced off and Onigumo sighed. He looked down at the scrolls on the table.

" What have I done?" he whispered.

That evening, Yoshi and several villagers gathered at the gate to wish Onigumo farewell. Aiki still hadn't run away yet, and she hurried up to give him a message. " Don't read this until you're sure you've found happiness." She whispered, giving him a chaste kiss. He smiled sadly at her, knowing not where she would go and whether he'd ever see her again. He took the note and put it in his pocket. " Right." He said. She moved back into the crowd.

" Goodbye, Onigumo." Yoshi said. " You take care and come back to visit."

" Right, Master Yoshi." Onigumo replied. " Take care of Mariko!"

He turned and slowly made his way out of the village.

//ooo//

Onigumo glared at the floor of the forest, suddenly feeling guilty for what he was about to do. Sure, he was bordering mid twenties now and had changed drastically since then. He was sure he'd found happiness where he was, and it was now he remembered the note. He wondered if it was still in his saddlebag.

" Oy, Onigumo!"

He looked up as Jisan approached. " I'll take over. We're going in about a half-hour."

" Right." Onigumo said, getting up and moving a little ways away. He grabbed his bag as he went, sat down and started to rifle through it, searching for Aiki's note. To his surprise, it was still there, tucked between a few stolen scrolls. Making sure no one was watching, he slowly unfolded it and read it by the fading sunlight.

To my dearest friend, Onigumo. I know that if you are

Reading this, you have likely found happiness where you are.

And wherever that is, I hope it's safe. Takayuki says he's proud

That I had you to protect me all those years we were growing up

Together. To tell the truth, I am too.

However you have found happiness, I am just glad you have

Found a good life. I hope you never forget me, no matter where life

Takes you down its craggy paths. Just remember this.

There's ALWAYS someone loves you.

-Your eternal friend, Aiki.

Onigumo bowed his head and pinched the bridge of his nose.

No, how could this happen? Why did I choose now to read it?

He let out a shaky sigh. He wasn't so sure he'd found happiness now. It had seemed that way after he'd gotten mixed up with those bandits. He still remembered that day.

//ooo//

Onigumo wasn't paying attention and never heard the horses' hooves until they were right on him. He gasped as someone grabbed his arms and forced him down on the ground, snatching up his bag as they did. Two others held him down while one searched through his bag. The thief grimaced. " Nothing worth keeping. Just a bunch of useless scrolls."

He threw them on the ground. Onigumo felt his rage boil up, but knew better than to say anything.

" Hey boss, he looks like a young lord. You think maybe we could get a worthwhile profit off of him?" the one sitting on his back sneered. Onigumo rolled his eyes.

" Maybe. Or we give him an ultimatum. Either he joins us, or we slit his throat."

" What? That's hardly fair!" Onigumo protested. He didn't want to die, but he didn't want to go with them either. But seeing as both choices were rather undesirable, he decided to go with the one that might offer a method of escape.

" Very well. I will join your band." He said. They let him to his feet and he glared at the leader. The leader crossed his arms. " What's your name, boy?"

" Onigumo." He replied. That was when the leader asked him the question that would completely change his status in both life and life with the bandits.

" What can you do?"

//ooo//

He'd answered, " I can read and write."

Now, obviously, that was a lame answer, but these bandits clearly couldn't do what he could. This was instant value to them and they highly respected him for it. Gradually, he became used to his position and forgot all about his previous life and a promising scholar.

But now, Onigumo felt rage at his answer. Why didn't he say something else? Anything, just anything but that?

He sighed. It was too late now.

" Oy! Onigumo!" Jisan cried.

" Would you stop addressing me like that?" he snapped. He got to his feet and stalked over. " What is it?"

" It's time to go have some fun!" Jisan cackled. Onigumo raised his eyes to the heavens, sighed again and made his way over to his horse. He swiftly mounted and turned to face the leader.

" Onigumo, you sure were quiet this evening." The leader commented.

" Sorry. I was thinking about something."

" Typical for you. You're always thinking about something. That's how we got our best loot."

Onigumo smirked.

" Now men!" the leader yelled. " We're off! Leave no one undisturbed!!"

In one fluid motion, they charged down the hill. Onigumo tried to stay focused, but he kept seeing the faces of people he'd once loved.

He kept thinking, maybe they would be long gone by now. After all, it had been ten years. Surely the people he'd known wouldn't be there anymore. And Aiki had been planning on leaving for northern country with Takayuki, and Master Yoshi was surely passed on by now. There was nothing to worry about.

They paused at the top of the hill, staring down at the village a moment. Onigumo wore a special hood over his head to hide most of his face. That way he couldn't be identified.

Down in the village, someone about to enter a hut turned and spotted them atop the hill.

" Ahh!! It's a group of robbers!" he yelled in alarm, ducking inside.

" Charge!" the leader cried. They bolted down the hill, storming through the village. Jisan lit a torch and threw it onto the nearest hut, setting it ablaze. The fire reflected in Onigumo's dull red eyes and he turned to another hut. He had a miniature sword in a scabbard at his waist and he drew this quickly. He dismounted and approached the front, ignoring the screams of the villagers. He raised his sword to Jisan, claiming whatever was inside as his. Then he pushed back the carpet door and stepped in.

He was surprised to hear a tiny sound coming from a rather dark corner. He turned in that direction. Sure enough, a frightened gasp could be heard. He smirked and slowly advanced. Whoever it was had chosen to hide behind a small table. He easily flung this aside and raised his sword. It was a woman and two small children. She pulled them closer to her and then raised her eyes to him.

" Please, at least spare my children! Please!" she cried. Onigumo pretended not to hear her as he prepared to bring his blade down.

Suddenly, he felt a terrible feeling wash over him as he met the eyes of the woman. Something seemed familiar about her.

" M…Mariko?" he whispered. He lowered his sword in disbelief. She froze.

" Oh lord. Onigumo?"

They both stared at each other, unable to believe it was the other. Mariko stared at what had been her brother in horror. She shook her head. " Onigumo." She whispered. " Is that you?"

" Mariko!" he exclaimed. " It's you!"

" Brother!" she cried, throwing herself into his arms. " Onigumo! You've been gone for so long! What on earth has happened to you? You used to be so wonderful and now…you're…this!"

" I got mixed up with the wrong people, sister." He mumbled. His gaze fell on the children. The eldest looked to be a small girl. His niece. His heart almost shattered at the sight of him. He pulled away from his sister and stood up. " I'm going to get you all out of here. Where's your husband?"

e He He He

Mariko's face fell and he realized that her husband must have died recently.

" Come on."

He helped her up, letting her assist her own children. He had no right to touch them now. The only person who should touch those children besides their mother right now was their father and he was obviously dead.

He faced the back wall, which in turn faced the forest. He raised his sword and jammed it into the wood. He continued to hack viciously at it until he'd cut a good-sized hole through. " Go!" he ordered. " I'll keep the others away from here until you've gone."

Mariko pushed her children through and then turned to him. " Onigumo." She said sadly. " I will miss you."

" I'll miss you, Mariko. I'll never forget you. Now go." He said. She nodded and climbed through. He looked through the hole to make sure they got away and then he set to work destroying the place to present the image of a good robbery. After several minutes, he finally used a coal from Mariko's fireplace to set the house alight before leaving. By then, they were long gone.

He stepped out of the house, only to be met by Jisan. " How'd it go?" he asked.

" Very well." Onigumo lied. " I was able to torch the hut, but there was nothing of value inside."

" Damn. No women or anything?" Jisan snapped.

" No." Onigumo replied dryly. " Nothing."

Jisan mistook his tone to be disappointment and shrugged off angrily. Onigumo sighed and stared at his sister's burning home, imagining her and her children running from him, the one who had saved her. He knew that he could do nothing if the bandits found them. But she was smart; she wouldn't hang around. She'd escape to the next region for sure.

" I'm sorry." He whispered into the wind. " Mariko. I'm sorry."

With that, he turned and headed off further into the blaze.

A/N: How was it? I know it's a little sad, but I was always curious as to how Onigumo became a bandit in the first place. And then I got to thinking how smart Naraku is, so I figured, what if the guy was a scholar gone wrong in his 'past life'? It kinda makes sense. Now, please review and tell me what you think!!