Achy Jakey Heart
A Hannah Montana Parody of "Achy Breaky Heart" By Billy Ray Cyrus
A/N: I had "Achy Breaky Heart" stuck in my head and couldn't resist writing a parody, and since I felt funny just posting a parody on this site I decided to turn it into a story. The parody itself is further down in the story if you just want to read that.
Miley couldn't hold back the grin on her face, which she knew must've made her look like a smiling idiot. They were in their living room, and Jake had just declared his love for Miley on national television. The remote in hand, she rewound it one more time, then stopped it again right after Jake said her name. "I don't care," she sighed, in response to her dad's remark that if she kept this up she'd break the TV.
"So does this mean you're finally going to forgive him?" Lilly squealed, then nearly choked on the piece of flank steak she'd put in her mouth a second earlier.
Ignoring Lilly's frantic coughing and demands for a glass of water, Miley froze with the stupid smile still on her face. After a moment or two it changed to a contemplative frown. "I don't know."
"What?" Lilly blurted, spitting out the water Robbie had handed her. "You're kidding! Miley, give the poor guy a break!"
I don't know if I should…Miley thought. True, when she first heard him on television, she'd become so overwhelmed that she forgot her anger for a second. But then she remembered what he did to her. Turning around, she asked, "Dad, what do you think?"
"I still say you should let him go," Robbie insisted. "He kissed you when he was leavin'…he went out with another movie star…and he's a boy…"
Miley resisted the urge to roll her eyes. She should've known that her dad wouldn't be for her getting a boyfriend. Turning back to Lilly, she said, "You really think I should give him another chance?"
"Uh, duh. He's a famous actor, he's cute, and he's totally in love with you," Lilly replied, taking another bite of her steak. Her mouth full, she added, "Every…girl in…America…wishes she were…you right now…"
"I didn't understand a word you just said," Robbie admitted, wrinkling his brow in confusion.
Putting her head in her hands, Miley groaned. Why couldn't she just forgive Jake?
Because he'd lied to her. He didn't tell her he was going to shoot a movie, and then he kissed her anyway. It's like he didn't care that he was leading her on. She'd been so crushed when he left, and the kiss made it ten times worse.
But…he'd apologized about a million times, hadn't he? And now he declared his love for her on national television. Even after she dumped soda on his head.
She just didn't know what to do.
"Here, Miley," Lilly said, grabbing a notepad and pen off the side table and holding it out. "Why don't you make a pro and con list? I guarantee you there's more 'pro's."
Miley took the notepad and pen, but instead of making list she started writing lyrics.
He can tell the world, he wants me to be his girl
He can say he missed me when he was gone
Or he can tell my friends, just what a jerk he's been
And call me a million times on my cell phone
He can tell me he hates to be alone
He can camp outside my door
Or he can put his arms around my hips, and kiss me on my lips
Though I know I won't be asking him for more
But my head should tell my heart, my achy Jakey heart,
To stop loving him more than I can stand
It has to convince my heart, my achy Jakey heart,
I'll only get hurt if I go out with this man
He can get on his knees, and say pretty please
My head will never let my heart say okay
And he can look into my eyes, and tell me to be kind
He'd break down if I didn't go out with him today
But my head should tell my heart, my achy Jakey heart,
To stop loving him more than I can stand
It has to convince my heart, my achy Jakey heart,
I'll only get hurt if I go out with this man
When she was done, she tapped the pen on the notepad and started humming the tune she had in her head. Maybe that was why she was so reluctant to go out with him. She didn't want to get hurt again.
"Nice song, bud," Robbie commented, reading the lyrics over her shoulder. "The tune sounds familiar though…"
Also reading the lyrics, Lilly nodded in agreement. "It's good, but I think it tells you what you should do about Jake."
Miley let out a deep sigh. Lilly was right. No matter what her head said, she knew she should do what her heart wanted. She stood up and put the notepad and pen on the table. "I'm going to get changed. I should be able to make it before the premiere's over, right?" Miley asked. Robbie and Lilly nodded.
When Lilly put her steak on the table to get up and follow her, Miley put a hand on her shoulder. "No, it's okay, I think I can do this by myself. Eat your steak."