The Science of Seduction—

It's no big secret that I have this thing for Fred. He might well be the only person in Gryffindor, no, HOGWARTS who doesn't know. Being the lucky girl I am, I not only get to be best friends with the charming womanizer, I get to be in love with him too.

So what do I do? My options are simple. I can A) Wait for him to notice that I'm female, B) Use my feminine wiles to snag him or C) Give up entirely. There are pros and cons to each choice. If I wait for him to make the first move, it may never happen. If I give up, well, there's a piece of my heart I can't get back and all for nothing. But if I shove my boobs in his face I'm just like every one of those bimbos he "dates".

I NEED HELP.

I consult the master. Or rather, the only free yet semi-useful help I can manage to find.

Katherine Sugar Bell and Alicia Spinnet. They're my best friends, Katie and Ali are. Besides Fred, that is. And they're the best I've got.

[o

"DUH! It's obvious what you need to do. Snag the bastard! You can't give up and lying around like a chump hoping he'll notice you is a waste of precious time!"

Leave it to Katie to be inspirational and all.

Ali adds to Katie's statements, " You need to take matters into your own hands, Ange. If you want anything done right, you have to do it yourself. You have to make it happen!"

I argue, "Make it happen?! But how can you make someone like you without lying naked on a table?"

"It's the difference between sluttiness and seduction. You don't try to get inside his pants. You get inside his head," Ali said wisely.

Well. Who could argue with that? The only question is where to start.

"You've got an advantage," Katie told me. "You're best friends, so you already know a lot about how his brain works."

"No one knows how that convoluted mess works," I replied.

Ali whines, "Work with us, here. You've got to have the right attitude to do this. Are you ready to take on such a challenge as seducing the infamous Gryffindor player?"

I think, I wonder, I ponder. Should I try Ali and Kate's sneaky, underhanded method?

My other options certainly won't get me anywhere.

"I'm in," I finally say. "For real."

[o

Get inside his head. Get inside his head.

How the hell do I do that?

He's my best mate. He thinks I'm one of the guys.

If I get inside his head, I can fix that. Right?

Oh, I wish I could use Magic.

"Describes the girls he dates," Ali ordered.

"Skinny but with big cans. Easy.Stupid, shallow, vapid," I answer almost automatically.

Katie questions, "Do you even know that for sure? Ever talked to one of them?"

"Kates, who's side are you on?" I ask.

"Well, it's easy for us to think other girls are inadequate if they take man we want. It's almost too natural, actually. If you went out with Lee back in third year I would've thought you were easy and… vapid," Katie says.

I hit her with a pillow.

"Yeah, that makes sense. Except I would NEVER EVER under ANY circumstances even THINK about considering that, not then, not now, no offense to you. And also, back in third year, we were still hella close! You wouldn't ever think of me like that, now would you?"

Ali the just restores the peace. "Girls, let's be serious. If we're going to get anywhere in teaching Angelina the Science of Seduction, we can't get ourselves into pillow fights, Kates!"

I smile. "The Science of Seduction. I like that. Makes it seem like it's not just goofy girl talk or anything. It's an Art. It's a Science. And Fred is our Guinea Pig."

"Ha, you think of your future boyfriend as a guinea pig? That's kinky," says Katie.

"That one deserves another one on the head." I hit her with the pillow again. "Sorry Ali, but this girl's got a mouth on her."

"There's no denying that. And I suppose one pillow fight won't interfere with our scientific study," she reasons.

THUD.

A pillow slams on Ali's head like a brick.

"I'm glad you feel that way," says Katie slyly.

Okay. Tomorrow begins the study of Science of Seduction.

Today, we pillow fight.