Two Men Walk into A Convention Center

A/N: This is not entirely a product of my own design... I had some help. This is a lame comedy and I don't expect anyone but the people who are in on it to really enjoy or understand it. STOP READING NOW, IF YOU CANT HANDLE REALLY STUPID COMEDY AND WISH TO KEEP YOUR SANITY!!!!

Just a warning.

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Two men walk into a convention center from opposite doors, two very different men.

One man was tall and pale, his eyes black and cold. His hair was cut in a Mohawk, but was pulled back into a pony tail. But these weren't the strangest things about Lord Vocow, he wore full body armor, made of steel and leather. He carried his helmet under one arm.

The other man had a similar cold look in his eyes, but it was accompanied by a crazed light. His hair was a frenzied mass of curls that trailed down his jaw line. A tangled goatee sat on his chin.

Toombs however, wore tattered cotton trousers and a similar shirt, over which was a leather vest, and leather gun-belt.

Anywhere else this would have been a strange, even frightening sight, but this was a Villain's Convention, and these two were villains, with a common enemy. Riddick.

These two men meet at a booth labeled, "Enemies of Riddick." instantly there is a standoff, it went something like this...

Vocow: "Toombs, you are a fool, you had many chances to kill Riddick, and you didn't."

Toombs: "Like you did much better. What is it, 'Lord Riddick' now?"

Vocow: "It was a matter of default..."

At this point Vocow became very interested in his feet.

Toombs: "Ok then, I challenge you to a competition!"

Vocow: "What kind of competition?"

Toombs: "Who has the better pet!"

This he exclamed like a six year old girl.

Then a young woman joins them at the booth.

Kyra: "Ohh, I'm in!"

Vocow: "You!? You are supposed to be dead! And you are not a villain."

Kyra: "Eh. The Elemental brought me back. And how am I NOT a villain? I'm a mass murderer!"

Toombs: " She's got a point. So here's the deal. Whoever loses, gets to go try to kill Riddick."

Vocow: "That would them the ruler of the Necromongerers!"

Kyra: "I thought that was what you wanted."

Vocow: "I do not plan on losing!"

Toombs: "Ok, Ok, lets just get on with it. One at a time we call our pets. Me first... HEEL!"

Toombs snaps his fingers and a large armadillo-like dog, the guard dog of Creamitoria, comes bounding into the convention center. Kyra glares at it. It backs down.

Vocow: " HA! Your pet is afraid of a girl, how ridiculous. I call mine a 'Peterabudactal'"

Vocow calls his beast. A bat-like creature with a hammerhead, is led in with a black sheet over it an a muzzle. Kyra cringes, recognizing the monster from the dark planet and her first adventure with Riddick. Vocow removes the sheet and the Peterabudactal starts writhing and smoking as the light burns it.

Toombs: "Now that is pathetic, yours can't even tolerate light."

Vocow's men usher the Peterabudactal back into its cage in the van outside.

Kyra: "I guess that means I win."

Toombs; "What makes you think that? You didn't show your pet!"

Vocow: (mutters)" bet it's a bunny rabbit."

Kyra: "Well you two obviously lose, and I don't even want to kill Riddick, not that I'd lose. So I just take that as a win. But if you really want to see my pet, fine."

Kyra whistles sharply. Suddenly a tall bald man in leather and goggles comes to stand beside her.

Riddick: "You called Kyra?"

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A/N: Honestly this wasn't my idea! Well, not all of it. Special thanks to Arianna and Roland (aka: Toombs)

P.S.: Reviews welcome, Flames not. Trust me I know it sucks.

ENox