Author's Note: This is my first time writing something for the Narnia universe but I saw an ad for Prince Caspian a few days ago and I was suddenly struck my inspiration. Please let me know how I did on this and if the characters are OOC I apologize. This takes place a few years after the Last Battle and is in Susan's POV. Also, I know that they didn't ID people this way but work with me here people! Please review and enjoy!
Disclaimer: Chronicles of Narnia was written back in the 1940's, I was not alive in the 1940's, meaning that tragically I don't own them. C.S. Lewis does.
It had been six years. Six years since the railway accident that took my brothers and sister away from me. Six years that I had been living in guilt and in misery. No that's a lie I wasn't in misery. I had been for the first year but then I had met Tom Lewis, and he helped me see that what had happened to my siblings wasn't my fault. That didn't make the guilty feelings subside because of what I had said to them before they left for the train.
I remember it perfectly, I remember Peter coming with Edmund and Lucy to try and persuade me into coming with them and helping them "save" Narnia. I didn't believe in Narnia anymore by then and I thought that they were being silly and just doing this to torment me. I don't remember what Edmund said but it made me angry, it was something about me not being the same anymore and that he wished the old Susan would come back, the one who was his older sister. I won't say how deeply that hurt me. It was like a knife had priced my soul, especially when Lucy and Peter agreed with him. I remember yelling at them and telling them that they needed to stop living in a child's world and grow up. Then I told them that if they weren't going to grow up they needed to get out. I thought that they were just going to apologize but Peter just sighed and they all left.
A few hours later I heard on the radio that there was a train accident at the station where they had gone. I remember that I thought Oh dear Aslan... please let them be all right. A few minutes later the phone rang and I knew that my family was dead. It took forever to get to the phone; I took my time because until I answered it I could pretend that my family was still alive. The police wanted me to come to the station to identify them and collect their bodies. I did it that evening, I walked so that it would take even longer and I could pretend that it had all just been a mistake, I prayed that it had just been a mistake, and when I got to the station and saw all other people there to do the same grueling task I was, I thought that there was a stronger chance that they had just gotten confused somehow, but I knew they hadn't.
I walked into the station and saw all the bloody bodies of people lined up for families and friends to find them. I tried not to look at the other people as they found their loved ones and let out small cries of grief. I recognized one of my friend's husband who had also been a friend of Peter's and was on the police force. I made my way over to him and I knew that there was no hope of my family being alive when I saw his face. He led me over towards the end of the line where I saw the people I had prayed I wouldn't find here.
I saw Peter looking so proud even in death, I saw Edmond who had the handsome looks of a young man and was too young to die, Lucy oh Lucy with her beautiful face that despite what she said, could rival mine. Also with them I saw my cousin Eustace and his friend Jill who were still children, the old professor and an older woman I had come to know as his friend Polly and as a horrible surprise I also found my beloved parents who were not supposed to have come home until the next day. There was something odd about my family's expressions though, they didn't hold fear as I had thought that they might since they would have surely seen the train coming, instead they held a strange sort of peace that to this day I still cannot explain properly, but it was filled with hope and it was that peace that allowed me not to fall apart in front of all the people surrounding me and cry until they carried me off.
Instead I only let a few tears fall and confirmed their identities to the nearest officer. Then I walked home, not really seeing where I was going and replaying my siblings' and my last conversation together in my head. I finally made it home and went to my room where I fell on my bed and sobbed. I cried myself to sleep that night and my dreams were filled with nightmares of the accident, and of my family surrounding me and yelling, "IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT SUSAN! WE'D STLL BE ALIVE IF IT WEREN'T FOR YOU!" Every night those dreams came to me until a few days later on the day of their funerals.
I had always hated funerals for petty reasons, I hated the way that black made me look but on that day, I didn't care. That day I sat in the front of the church and didn't really listen as the pastor said how wonderful my family was and how it was a shame that their lives were cut so short. It was a wonderful speech I'm sure but I didn't listen to it, I didn't listen when people passed me and told me how sorry they were either. I didn't care; they couldn't feel the horrible pain and guilt that had been in my chest since the accident. I didn't really look at my family as I passed their open caskets to say goodbye. They weren't there; they were dead.
I don't remember much about the months after that; they passed slowly but I didn't take much in. I wasn't as social as I was before my family died and I turned down any of the young men who asked me to a party, remembering how Edmund and Peter used to always come over just before I would go to a party just to remind the gentleman escorting me what would happen if I came home less then happy. I had pretended to be annoyed with it all but I had secretly been thrilled that they cared so much for me. It was several months later that I met Tom Lewis I was shopping and not really paying attention as usual when I saw the item that I was reaching for was suddenly gone. I looked up to see a young man with blond hair and deep dark blue eyes holding the item I was after just out of my reach. I offered to buy it from him but he said that he would give it to me if I would do him the honor of accompanying him to a party that evening. I argued with him for a few minutes before finally accepting the trade.
The party had been wonderful, the man and I danced for a good while before I realized that I didn't know his name. When I told he said it was Tom Lewis and that he didn't know mine either, then he laughed. I told him and I laughed for the first time since my family died. Tom and I continued to join each other for tea or dinner, learning bits about each other and it wasn't long until I realized that I loved him. Then after weeks of avoiding the subject of family it finally came up. He told me about his and that was able to last a while but finally he asked about mine. When I didn't answer at first he told me that I didn't have to talk about it if I didn't wan to but I suddenly found myself telling him about my family and how wonderful they had been. I told him about the accident and I found him holding me as I cried at the end of my tale.
I found that I felt better after I told Tom about what had happened, like I had gotten a huge weight off of my chest. I felt better when I finished but I couldn't stop crying. Tom kept holding me and telling me that it was all right and that he could understand some of how I felt since he had lost a little sister to a sickness when he was a child. It was a few months after that event when Tom told me that he loved me and that he wanted to marry me and I of course accepted.
My wedding was both the happiest and one of the saddest days of my life. It was happy because I was getting married but it was sad because my family wasn't there with me. But as I stood in the back of the church before I walked down the aisle, I felt like someone was watching me. I knew that it was strange but I felt that it was Peter, Edmund and Lucy watching me from Heaven. After that my wedding day was wonderful and I wasn't as sad as I had been.
It's been six years since the train accident that took my family away from me and today for the first time since their funerals, I went to the graveyard to visit their graves. Even though they couldn't hear me, I told them how sorry I was about the fight that we had before they died and how I hope that they forgave me. I also told them that I did believe in Narnia and that I planned on sharing its story with my children in hope that they would pass it on to theirs.
Now I am sitting in the rocking chair in my youngest son's room looking at my two sons and my daughter. They are waiting for me to start their bedtime story and I can't help but smile as I see the excitement on their faces.
"Start the story Mama." My youngest son Peter says and he is quickly backed up by his siblings.
"Yeah, yeah, tell it Mama, tell it!" my daughter and other son's voices join his.
"All right, all right darlings," I say to calm them down before starting the story, once they are calmer I continue. "This is a story of four children named Peter, Susan, Edmund and Lucy-"
"Hey! My name is Lucy, is this story about me Mama?" my four year old daughter Lucy interrupts me.
"Yeah is it about us?" my oldest Edmund asks me and I laugh and shake my head.
"No dears, this is a story about the Pevensies. Now where was I? Oh yes, these four children lived in England but had to go away to the country to live with a professor because of the War. While they were there, they discovered a wonderful country inside of a wardrobe, this country was called Narnia…"
As I continue the story of the adventures I had with my siblings I feel things that I haven't felt since the last time I was in Narnia. I can see the wardrobe, Aslan's Table, the battle with the White Witch, Mr. Tumnus, Prince Caspian, Peter fighting Caspian's uncle and so much more. I also tell them what Edmund and Lucy told me of their adventures and whatever else I can possibly think of.
When my children start to fall asleep, I stop talking and tuck them in. I can't finish the story tonight, but I will finish it; I owe my siblings, Narnia and Aslan to finish it. As I fall asleep I whisper "Peter, Edmund, Lucy, I hope that you're happy and that I will see you again someday."
And as I fall asleep I swear that I hear the roar of a lion.
I hope that you all liked it. I might add one more chapter if people liked this so let me know what you think! Thanks!