AN: This one came to me in what I can only assume was one of my more boring "Fundamentals of Mathematics" lectures while I was still at University and four years later I still sort of like it. Then again I like disaster and the fall-out that occurs when all is said and done.
Rangiku was stood in front of him not facing him; he reached out to touch her shoulder, but she flinched away and then turned to him,
"How could you Gin?" She asked tears falling down her cheeks, "How could you?" Her voice was sharp and accusing. "Tell me Gin please!" With that Gin woke up sweat pouring down his back and leaving trails of cold over his skin.
"Rangiku," he whispered placing his head in his hands. "Why now?" he wondered out loud tears falling from under closed lids. "Why do you have to haunt me now?" Gin had been in Heuco Mundo for over three months and up until now he hadn't had any nightmares. He rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands, trying to rub the sleep out. Pushing his hand through his hair he got out of bed and walked to the window staring out across the blank expanse of desert in the moonlight.
Holding on to the bars of his window he suddenly felt that he was in a prison, sadly it was one of his making. Blowing out his breath he laughed hollowly.
"I wanted this," He said still laughing. "I did this and I have to live with it." With that a smile spread across his face until he saw Rangiku's face again behind his closed lids and he pitched forwards in to the window bars,
"Gomennasai Rangiku," He breathed trying to stand. "I can't say it enough, but gomen-na my love."
"Gomen-na my love…" Rangiku sat up in bed breathing hard, she felt a hand on her arm and nearly screamed until she saw Izuru's blonde hair and she relaxed a little. She rubbed his shoulder and heard him mumble in his sleep; smiling a little she got out of bed and leant on the windowsill.
"Gin how did this happen?" She asked the sky, "Why did you leave me again?" she asked the last question while pulling her kimono around her tighter, "Why can't you be anything but sorry baka?!" She bit her tongue as Izuru turned to her and with bleary eyes asked,
"Are you okay Rangiku? You look like you've seen a ghost." Rangiku smiled and sat on the edge of the bed,
"It's something like that," She replied and felt the gentle pressure of Izuru's hand on her shoulder. She took his hand in hers and laced their fingers together on her shoulder,
"But you're okay?" he asked in a probing way.
"I am," She said not wanting to mention his name to Izuru.
"Well if you're sure…" He said leaving the statement open and Rangiku nodded; with that he turned over and went back to sleep. Rangiku chuckled and pulled the covers over Izuru.
"Good night Izuru," She whispered and then sat on the bed hugging her knees to her, looking at Izuru's head once again.
She almost laughed bitterly. Everyone had their relationship wrong… well everyone except Shuhei and her Captain. After Gin and Aizen had left; everyone it seemed looked at the two of them as if at any moment they would defect and join them too. Being fragile to begin with this attitude put Izuru right to the edge of the cliff with the rocks beneath his feet crumbling. He needed comfort and so did she and they had found it in sharing a bed, nothing more.
Rangiku found it easier because there was someone beside her to warm the empty expanse that had been left. Izuru found it easier as he had someone he could turn to, that understood. Their relationship wasn't physical in anyway it wasn't about sex which seemed to be something other people couldn't seem to grasp.
Rangiku sighed and watched as the inky black outside was stained with colour. The yellow and orange of the new day seemed to stretch up and rip apart the black; shredding it in to nothing with it sheer power and vibrancy. If only that would happen to my heart Rangiku thought.
She got out of bed and got in to the shower hoping that the running water could shake the feeling. Undoing her kimono she stood under the water letting it pound in to her scalp and skin. She reached for the soap and felt arms around her waist; she turned, but no one was there. Falling upon the wall she began to cry as she knew who's arms they had been; the feeling of being enveloped in lines and angles… it had been Gin, but why would her memory make it so vivid?
"Gin why do you have to haunt me now?" Why do you make me want you?" She stood in the shower letting the tears mingle with the fresh water despair in every drop.
"No more mushroom soup!" Izuru said as he woke up to the water running. He shook his head and smiled. It was good having Rangiku stay, she didn't hog the bed and she didn't snore. She was warm and didn't expect more from him than he could give, but he had noticed that she had been acting a little odd. She wouldn't say anything, but she wasn't herself. He hated it that she could do so much for him, but in return he was like a wooden training sword against a hollow... he was bloody useless.
He sat up in bed and pushed his hands through his hair waking himself up. As his hands rested on the back of his neck he heard something that wasn't from water or washing. He jumped out of bed and knocked lightly on the bathroom door before walking in.
Izuru found Rangiku huddled on the floor crying with the shower still running. He switched off the tap and picked up a towel she didn't look up even when he wrapped the towel around her and held her to him ever so gently.
"Rangiku... what is it?" He asked his voice a gentle whisper. Rangiku finally looked up at him her silver blue grey eyes tinged with red. When she spoke her voice was cracked and broken with sadness.
"He was here..." she said before she started sobbing again. Izuru gasped,
"By that you mean...?" He couldn't say it, but Rangiku knew what he meant and nodded. Alarm bells went off in his head at the thought.
Since they had defected barriers had been put up so if any of them: Aizen, Ichimaru or Tousen entered the soul society again their rietsu would be detected and the security force would storm the place. So far nothing had happened and it had now been three months. Also since no one had stormed in to his room it meant he hadn't been in there. He kissed Rangiku's forehead and rubbed her back.
"Calm down he wasn't here." He felt Rangiku arms wrap around him and hold him tight.
"Really?" She asked not believing him.
"Yes," he said back, "Because if he had Soi Fong and her men would be here." Rangiku giggled a little.
"You're right for once, but I'm sure that he was here I felt his arms..." Izuru didn't push her for details he just held her close. Why now Captain? Why do you have to haunt her now?
After Rangiku had calmed down the pair ate breakfast together and then they parted for the day. Rangiku went to the squad ten barracks and Izuru went in the opposite direction towards squad three. They both were lost in thought; Izuru walked in to the offices and found them empty. Which he had to admit wasn't a peculiar occurrence any more as no one seemed to trust squad three so they had hardly any work. Even so he seemed to have more paperwork than ever. He walked up the corridor heading to the office that his Captain used to occupy. He slid the door open and walked in.
"Good morning Izuru." He stopped dead as his head snapped up, sat in his chair as if he had never left was his Captain smiling up at him. "Izuru whatever could be the matter?" Izuru felt weak at the knees and collapsed. He looked up and nothing was there he shook himself as he tried to calm down since his breathing was fast and shallow.
"Why now Captain why do you have to haunt me now?" He spat trying to get a grip on reality.
The bell rang out across Los Noches and Gin grimaced at the sound. It was a jarring noise that he cared little for. It seemed to him that it was worse when you were already awake. He hadn't had a good night's sleep and this bell was the last straw! He counted down the seconds until Aizen's voice would echo across Los Noches and the moment couldn't come soon enough.
"Good morning my Espada and Captains there will be a meeting in half an hour. That is all." Great Gin thought all I need a meeting. He didn't much care for more of the touchy feely lets get in touch with our inner Arrancar meetings that Aizen was setting up. Gin would prefer to sleep, but at the moment even that didn't seem possible.
He walked to the bathroom and as he opened the door he heard the water running and saw steam rise from the top of the door. He ran to the shower and saw Rangiku through the frosted glass. His palms began to sweat and his heart skipped a beat. How? Was his first thought and then he didn't care. He opened the door and laced his arms around her waist feeling her warmth and for a second he could smell her scent. The next moment as she turned; he found he was stood holding thin air as the sound of water faded.
How cruel could ones imagination be? He asked himself and then brushed his teeth. After that he went and got dressed his shower forgotten, because no matter how much he washed he could never be clean until this was over.
Gin walked in to the meeting early and saw Aizen sat at the head of the table sipping his coffee, even from his distance Gin could smell the bitter sweet tang coming from his cup.
"You're early Gin... trouble sleeping?" Gin didn't answer he just sat down in a chair behind Aizen. Slowly the Espada filed in and Gin could smell food. As the commotion calmed down he heard Ulquiorra say,
"I had breakfast made at Grimmjow's request so here is some pie."
"Yay!" Grimmjow grinned and then remembering that he hated everything about Ulquiorra except his organisation skills and stopped grinning and ate some pie.
"It's goo-ood," Grimmjow said around the food.
"Thank you," Ulquiorra muttered not making eye contact with Grimmjow. Aizen stood and began to speak and Gin stopped listening as he was lost in his memories again or so he thought, but this time it was his Vice Captain. He was sat at his desk and Izuru came through the screen door looking happy if not a little tired.
"Good morning Izuru." He found himself saying before he could stop himself, the shock on Izuru's face sent him reeling and he woke up. All the eyes in the meeting were on him.
"Am I boring you Gin?" Aizen asked staring at Gin; he plastered a smile on his face with ease and looked at Aizen.
"Not at all carry on."
When the meeting ended everyone filed out except for Aizen and Gin. Aizen sat facing his junior scanning every inch of him.
"What is it Gin? You are never like this."
"Nightmares, I'm seeing ghosts." Gin said in response a little too quickly.
"Memories perhaps?" Aizen asked perceptively. Gin nodded and Aizen shook his head. "For a cold hearted killer Gin you hold on to petty little emotions with vigour." He pushed his right hand through his hair and then drank some coffee before he spoke again. "So you still hold on to your feelings for your Vice Captain and your lover. What a funny man!" Aizen chuckled darkly and Gin's smiling facade cracked for a second. "Regret isn't needed Gin we are making a new world order. Crush your feelings Gin they are not needed here! Exorcise your ghosts." With that Aizen left.
"Crush them eh?" Gin asked the empty meeting table. "If you say so Sousuke," Gin stood shaking his head. "Its easier said than done" He began to walk out and something caught his eye looking up he saw a ghost of Rangiku running out of the door and he felt a pang in his chest. "As I said Sousuke it's easier said than done."